hey hey I'm back.. I'm sooooo sorry it took me so long to up date... but a lot of shitty things been happening (my aunt got diagnosed with lungcancer for one thing) and I spent a lot of time at home trying to help the best I can... Then I got ill (grr...) but I'm back and better (I hope) I appologize if this chappy is a bit sucky but I just have a lot of things on my mind... please bare with me and I hope you still enjoy reading it!

GrlWithoutAName: you mean in the first chapter? Harry is just thinking about what he's witnessed trying to order his thoughts... if that makes any sort of sense...

speckled girl: thank you soo much I'm glad you like it!

SwarmOfFanGirls: keep reading and find out ;) lol... who knows... glad you like it though!

Eveyxthexfaerie: I'm trying... lol thanks though and glad you like it!

alright.. on with the show... hope you like it!

You really think we have no clue do you? I know we're not the smartest, trust me, but keep in mind we've been by your side for years now, even before Hogwarts and we've met Lucius. I mean really.. your father scares the crap out of me, even more then my own and when I saw him in the crowed last night I was scared for you. I wasn't surprised when he came to the common-room demanding you to follow him. I did however think that could be the last time I saw you.

I put a shaky hand on you shoulder. Your morning temper is not something to be taken lightly as we've all learned over the years. I drew the short straw today. You've been different though lately. Quieter, even more withdrawn. I wonder what's happened. Every muscle in your body tense as my hand touches your shoulder but your eyes just flutter open lazily when you growl out a "What?" as you turn your back on me with a sneer. I don't know what it is about it, but it never fails to make me shiver, even though I know I can kick your ass, maybe it's how much it reminds me of your father's. "It's almost time for breakfast" I reply softly you sigh and tell me you'll meet us there. I don't know if I should.

You roll your eyes and get out of bed disappearing into the bathroom. It's not long however when you return and order Goyle and me to follow you. At breakfast I notice you, once again, barely eat. Creg then asks you something about schoolwork and I quickly pay attention, since I'm probably struggling with the subject as well. I see other classmates' heads snap up also trying to catch your explanation. I'm lucky to have you as a friend, or should I say be your lacky? I don't mind. I would have never ever come this far without you so I'm not that bothered being bossed around. Breakfast is over and we head to our class. I just hope classes go by fast today.

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I just wonder how long you can keep it up, this façade. I listen as Hermione explains potions to us. I don't want Snape on my case again and just hope I can do it right. You're explaining something to your table as well. They're all hanging on you're every word. I smile who'd have thought. The Ice-prince a tutor. I now start to understand how Crabbe and Goyle had even managed to not be left behind. I turn back to Hermione who was still explaining potions. She however has noticed my glance and gives me a look that said 'I'll be talking to you later'

Later in the common-room Hermione stood before me "What's going on?" she asks eyeing me with worry. I shake my head "Nothing… why?" I respond innocently. The girl huffed "I know you better then that Harry" she tells me "You've been so preoccupied lately" she says. I sigh "Well Hermione, sometimes being the 'saviour of the wizardian world' isn't all that it's cracked up to be". She raises her eyebrows "Harry, don't take me for a fool" she scolds "It's got something to do with Malfoy hasn't it?" she concludes. Damn her… how come she always sees (through) everything? I sigh "What on earth makes you say that" I try but the blond is to smart for that "When you were late for class yesterday, and entered with Malfoy, the fact that when he left diner early the other day and you just couldn't wait to follow him, and I've seen the glances you give the Slytherin table" she shrugged "I just would want to know why?" she asks.

I shake my head "it's nothing 'mione" I sigh. The girl just looks at me "Harry…" she tries again. "Miony" I start "I can't discuss it, not yet". Her big eyes look up at me and then she shrugs "Alright Harry…" she sighs "Just be careful, you know what he's like". I smile "Don't worry" I assure her "I know what I'm doing". She looks at me a little unsure but nods and sits down on the couch to read a book. I turn back to my homework.

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I wake up, cold sweat dripping down my body and my silk pajama is completely soaked. My eyes dart across the dark room, my heart races and my breath comes out quick and ragged. I take a few deep breaths forcing myself to calm down. I swing my legs from under the blankets and head outside. Luckily no-one's around. I absently wonder around the castle surprised to find myself in front of the Gryffindor tower. I stare at the portrait but turn towards the nearest restroom. I stare in the mirror. My hair had fallen in front of my eyes and looked unkempt. I turn on the cold water letting it fall on my hand and splashing some in my face. I find my hands are still shaky and my breathing still hadn't fully returned back to normal. I take out the little dagger; it never failed to calm me. I'm so enthralled with the small object I don't notice you entering.

I drop to the floor frightened as a hand touches my arm and I crawl into a corner "No… please" I whimper hugging my knees to my chest, resting my head in my arms as I rocked back and forth. That nightmare must have hit me harder then I thought. I'm having trouble to suppress another yelp of fear as strong arm fold themselves around my shoulders taking over my own rocking motion. At first I completely freeze at the touch, but then I hear your soothing voice. I can't remember ever being touched with any sort of care or gentleness before and I look up surprised trying to pull my act together. You smile slightly letting go.

I lean my head against the cool tiled wall "I'm sorry…" I whisper, my voice hoarse. I see your worried stare and sigh "I just… I just had a nightmare" I then finally say slowly rising to my feet shakily, steadying myself on a sink. You look at me with concern but I wave a dismissive hand "Don't Harry…" I plead. I really don't want to talk about this now. You sigh but put your hands up in surrender "Alright alright" you shrug and yawn "you should go back to bed" I smile reassuringly, it only now dawns on me how tired you actually look. I guess the whole 'saviour' thing is getting to you more then I realized and now you're also stuck with my 'problem'. I feel a pang of guilt. I really shouldn't have let you know all these things.

You look me over and frown "Are you sure?" you ask and I nod "Of course. You need you're beauty sleep" I smirk finding a little of the old me. You smile "Yeah well… we can't all be as good-looking as you"

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You seem to tense at this but cover it up with a laugh "You know it Potter" you smile but again I can see it's fake. I briefly wonder what's wrong but when I look at you again and see the steely gaze in your eyes I know I'm not going to get anything out of you tonight. I smile slightly "Okay, night Draco" I say with one last worried glance at you and your dagger. I walk back to the dormitories where, as soon as my head hits the pillow I drift right back to sleep.

The next morning we're having breakfast and my gaze falls on the Slytherin table. You sit quietly and your food is untouched. I then frown as I see Crabbe tab you on the shoulder pointing to your plate. I see you sigh and sneer but then reluctantly put some food in your mouth slowly chewing. I then am even more confused when I see Crabbe and Goyle exchange a - dare I say it - worried glance. I didn't even think that was possible. I sigh things were getting weird. I still can't believe how you've managed to fool everybody.

It's getting cold and I for one am looking forward to this time of year. Ever since I came to Hogwarts Christmas has been a truly joyous time. Hermione regretfully had to return home since her parents would really love for her to spent the holidays with them. I would join Ron and his family at the burrow and was looking forward to it. You, on the other hand, seemed to create even more of a shell. Your defence armour. I just hope it will be enough. The day we all leave though I share a compartment of the train with my friends and we're all so busy planning for all the festivities that I forget all my other thoughts for a moment. I just want to enjoy this time of.

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I glare at Crabbe as he tabs my shoulder but I reluctantly put some food in my mouth. I know I have to eat something if I'm ever going to live through the holidays. I really dread going home. On-top of my father, there's my hysteric mother to deal with. I never knew any better but when I stand in-front of the large doors to Malfoy Manor I think about just running away somewhere… anywhere. I sigh as I push the doors open hoping perhaps my parents had gone out. No such luck as a house-elf takes my winter-robe and my trunk "Master wants to see young Master" he announces frightful. I nod and turn to my father's office knocking on the thick double doors awaiting permission to enter.

Later I'm in my room resting my aching body on the bed when there is a soft pop. An elf sits on my bed "Master Draco" she exclaimed cheerily. I can't help but smile "hello Kyrna" I greet painfully lifting my head. The elf now looks troubled "Master angry again?" she inquired shuddering. I shrug "It's no big deal" I assure her. The small creature perks up again "I help you, wait" she said and then she was gone. Only to come back not a minute later with some food and pumpkin juice.

I can't help but smile slightly "Thank you" I tell her and then she hopped on my bed again putting a cool cloth on my pounding head. I closed my eyes in appreciation "Show Kyrna wounds" the elf asked softly. I sighed but lifted the charm my father had used to cover my wounds. The small creature gasped going to work to clean them gently. I smiled at her thankfully "Young master needs to be more careful around Master" she whispered. She had been with the Malfoy family for quite some time now and had already had many of these 'care-sessions' and she was afraid for the boys life every time she heard Master scream through the thick doors of his office. I lift my head again "It will be fine" I assure her, even though I'm not sure who I'm trying to convince.

A few days after the holidays and I once again lay in bed broken and bruised. I could barely stand and my head was pounding and every time I try to get up I get dizzy and extremely nauseous. I stare at the ceiling. I really just need to get out of the house. I force myself to my feet, took my broom and flew out my small window. I flew around for a while. I really had no idea where to go. I ended up at diagon alley landing softly. I close my eyes as a wave of nausea hit me and I quickly found a corner where I heaved. Nothing but bile came out though since I hadn't eaten today or the day before. There was a soft hand on my shoulder "Draco?" you say worriedly. Cranger and Weasley are there as well. Cranger put a hand to her mouth something like concern in her eyes and Weasly just glares daggers at me. "That rich ass food finally getting to you?" the redhead smirked. I rise to my feet, attitude in place "At least I can afford to eat" I sneer haughty turning towards the redhead, but move to fast and have to grip the wall to keep myself from buckling to my knees.

Weasley frowns and is about to say something when Cranger walks towards me "Malfoy?" she asks tentative "What's wrong?". I look up about to snap something but turn away bending over into the corner heaving again. I growl frustrated, Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea. The bushy haired girl turned my face towards her checking me over staring me in the eye "you need medical attention" she stated "you probably have a concussion". I just shake my head "I'm fine Granger" I tell her but have to steady myself against the wall once again. I grunt again in annoyance.

Your arm is locked around my waist as you keep me up right "we need to get you somewhere safe" you state your two friends gaping at you like a fish out of water. I shake my head "I need to get home…" I'm getting desperate. If my father founds out I've gone he'd…. You shake your head "you are not going back there" you say determined. I close my eyes "do you have any idea what would happen if he found out I had gone?" I snapped irritated.

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I had had the best Christmas and was now spending a relaxing day with my friends in diagon alley. We laugh as Ron tells us lively about one of the twin's pranks during a Christmas diner when I see you hunched over in a corner throwing up. I immediately rush to your side. I see the shocked look on my friends faces and then Hermione moved closer to inspect. She thinks it's a concussion and now your wavering on your feet. I put an arm around your waist so you wouldn't fall. I see the emotions race through your eyes normally so well guarded. Hermione must have see it too and I see the wheels in her brain click. She really is too smart for her own good. You however now push away "I need to go" you repeat grabbing your broom and before either of us can say anything you're gone. I watch you leave worriedly and we're left unsure of what just happened. I really wonder if you will survive the last few days of the holiday.

When we board the train back home a few days later I'm relieved to see you enter. You sneer something at Crabbe and Goyle, shove Pansy out of your way and slide into an empty compartment. Ron simply glared but I slipped into the compartment sitting across from you. You had your head leant against the window and your eyes were closed but I knew you weren't asleep "how bad is it?" I ask feeling like I'm stuck in a loop that keeps repeating itself. You slowly open your eyes "it's fi…" but you can't even finish it and stare at the ground muttering a locking spell before uncovering your wounds. I gasp. Literally every inch of your body is covered in cuts, lacerations, snake or hand-like bruises. We really thought you lead the perfect pampered life. Oh how wrong we were "my god Draco, what the hell happened….?" I ask in shock. You sigh "you don't disobey my father" you simply stated "I shouldn't have left….". "You shouldn't have gone back…" I retort. You look up, your silver eyes hard and cold "what do you think he would have done if I did not return home?". "You should tell Dumbledore" I tell you once again and you shake your head "just forget it Potter…" you snap. I sigh. This once again was pointless. I get up while you just stare out the window and I slip out of the compartment in search for my friends.

"Potter" a deep voice from behind me calls and I turn "Crabbe" I frown turning to the bigger boy as he stands before me "you better not open that big mouth of yours" he hisses and I find myself backing up ever so slightly at the fury in the boys eyes "what are you talking about?" I frown. The fat boy raised an eyebrow "I may be thick, but I am a Slytherin" he simply states "and if you think you're going to use this against him, you have another thing coming". I now sigh heavily "I won't, I get it now" I reply softly looking at the floor of the train. Then I look up surprised as something clicks "you know?" I ask confused. The other boy rolls his eyes "what do you think? We've known Draco for years" he huffs "and it's not like we've never met Lucius". I nod in understanding "I took a walk near the lake one night when his father was 'visiting'" I answer the silent question. Crabbe nods before turning to go into the compartment. Our eyes meet for a second a silent vow saying 'we'll help each-other help him' and then he was gone. I found my friends and so the journey back to school had taken a rather strange twist….

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