(note-thanks Wounded Shell Of Myself:), I was about to just go on with the story but then you made me realize I should get into her past first. this chapter clears up a lot of things.)

(and also I'm sorry if this seems unrealistic, but people can be cruel. Crueler than what i wrote below.)

She remembers, in the dark moments she has for herself, her parents.

"You lying bitch! You expect me to believe your father is doing that?! What a horrible child!" Her mother backhands her on the face before kicking her in the ribs. Her mother, who sometimes took her on shopping sprees and once bought her a kitten but then threw it out after it made a mess on her clothes. She curls up and remains limp as her mother beats her. One thing she's learned not to do is fight back.

(Ever since she was little she could see people's names above their head and a date. What did it mean? She never told anyone because who would believe her?)

The house is a prison. There are cameras everywhere, and her mother has assigned a 'bodyguard' to follow her wherever she goes. Even the shower. There is no privacy for Misa. She has no phone to call for help, no one to help her.

Until she received the death note.

She remembers the moments agonizing over whether or not she should kill her parents (I will not be like them, I will never be like them) but finally happy that she has a friend. And finally relieved that she now can confirm what the strange numbers above people's head were. (she thought it might have been their death time-but since only one person died on the date she saw she was never completely sure)

Of course, Rem cannot help her much either- Rem would die if she saved Misa's life. Rem can't be there every single moment of the day to protect her. But at least there is someone to talk to. (Rem speculates that Gelus might have given her his shinigami eyes, and Misa feels sorry for the poor shinigami who fell in love with her)

She told Rem to never stay with her after dark. Ever. Misa doesn't want Rem to watch. Her father strangling her as he thrusts inside of her, making her bleed until there is no more blood left. Her father forcing her to sleep with important businessmen so he could earn more money, more friends. Beating her when he was drunk, cutting her with knives, holding her head underwater until she passed out. Weren't fathers supposed to protect you?

She screamed and screamed. (Soon, just wait a little more)

She felt her will to live slip away, until one day she refused to struggle while her father held her underwater (For being a 'bad girl').

Her father cursed and threw her to the floor. He took out his lighter and started burning her with it, ignoring her screams and kicks. She passed out, the last sight she saw was her father videotaping her. (They are going to die soon. You can wait it out)

Things continued like that, eventually she got used to it. She'd have conversations with Rem by writing (since her body guard was always with her, except when her father told them to go away) in a notebook her questions and thoughts and Rem would answer.

The debate continued. Kill them or not? The date on her parent's heads was soon-very soon, in fact. Did it matter if she killed them herself or not?

She killed the photographers and models that made moves on her because she couldn't let them see the scars on her body. Her parents would kill her before the police would help her, or they would use their connections to prevent the police from helping. And if even one person touched her she wasn't sure she would still be sane. She wasn't sure she could stop herself from breaking down and killing everyone in a bout if insanity.

She tried to spare their lives. When pretending to be lesbian didn't deter them from pursuing her, and their demands became more and more angry ( and her bodyguard didn't do a thing to help), when they looked at her with the same eyes her father looked at her with, her hand moved on its own and they died. Just like that. So easy to end a life, with all its dreams and hopes and wishes.

And she was so selfish. She wanted to live. Doesn't everyone? She would not become like her parents. She will not. Don't become inhumane, forgive and forget (But I can't! Someone help! Please!)-wait, well, Misa is already inhumane. Misa is never going to go to heaven or hell. Misa is a murderer. No I will not kill, but-remember the things your father did to you?

Nevermind. Misa is going to kill them painfully, she is going to kill them and then everything will be alright. Maybe. Finally. No the date is coming up soon be patient.

And then someone else killed them.

Coming home one day to find blood leaking out of their foreheads, and her bodyguard ran out leaving her all alone. There is no one to see you. There is no one to watch you anymore.

Misa was…free. She danced around the kitchen, she spun and laughed until her feet bled and the blood mixed in with those of her parents. She was crying and laughing at the same time.

She burned the cameras that watched her; she burned all the records of her treatment at the hands of her parents. She burned everything. Then she called the police.

What could they have done? She was only 14. Send her to a psychiatrist, they said. And Misa acted the part and eventually was done with the psychiatrist's treatment. She'd never ever tell anyone what happened.

She resided over her parent's funeral, the tears sliding down her face acting in place of laughter.

Misa sailed through school and got admitted to collage early, got a doctor's degree. (Part of her felt guilty; still, for the people she killed). She still continued with showbiz, but disguised herself drastically (she wore a fat suit) to work at the hospital. She wrote a few papers, earned a few awards, but still continued modeling. And no one knew any better.

Misa never really thinks about her parents anymore. (I mean, why think about something that happened so long ago?). She doesn't need to dwell on things like that, but when she has a moment or two to herself her mind sometimes begins the spin towards the dark matter in her past.

She knows it was a mistake to become so embroiled with Light and the whole Kira mess.

Why was she still with Light? Because she needed to stop him. At least sacrificing a few people was better than the inevitable sacrifice of freedom it would cost the human race if Light Yagami were to rise to power, she thinks. But she needs to act fast.

She hates herself for acting so dumb (she might have overdone it) but she cannot really do anything. Light is just as smart as her. Smarter, maybe. And so she needs to keep careful watch on herself and keep watch on Light's plans and motives.

What to do?