A/N: Sooo. I know there was some confusion about this chapter. Some of you clicked on chapter 27 awhile ago, and it wasn't there. Don't worry. That was just an author's note. Then someone pointed out that some stories are deleted when an AN is put up instead of a chapter. I was all like, oh hell no, and I took it down.
But yeah, my computer died. Along with the first draft of this chapter. Lucky for you readers, I'm house sitting at my Grandmother's, and I'm working off a lovely desktop.
The GOOD news is - HERE'S THE CHAPTER! The bad news is - my new computer shipped on the 3rd, but won't be here for 3 to 5 more business days. But, seeing as how long you've waited already, I suppose that's not too bad. I even ordered Dell's FastTrack laptop (which only comes in black and not purple like I wanted), because otherwise, my laptop wouldn't have been here for another two weeks! D:
lol, I digress! Here's what you've been waiting for! :D
Oh, and I've gone back and edited the WHOLE DAMN STORY. The only heavy duty tweaking I did was on the first three chapters. It's amazing. I can literally see my writing change over the course of this story, and damn, the first three chapters were embarrasing! Gah! But no worries. All fixed!
THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO JEN -- RANDOM READER! Happy Birthday! Sorry I'm an hour and four minutes off! D: But happy birthday all the same!
The Art of Drowning
Just Like Old Times
"Are you okay?"
L scoffed, grinding a sugar cube harshly between his fingers. And Light called him stupid. He watched absently as the grains fell into his cooling tea. Light shifted uneasily, and L sensed that Light wanted to continue, but held back.
He scowled into his cup, unwilling to meet the concerned gaze of his friend just yet. The betrayal he felt was immense. How far did this all go? Did Watari have a part in this too? The possibility of that hurt far more than L was willing to admit.
"L?" prompted Light. L was surprised to hear Light call him such. He usually referred to him as Ryuuzaki, but L supposed that with everything that had come to light, Ryuuzaki was probably the last thing Light would call him in private.
"I have just learned that a man who greatly influenced my developmental years had darker, more sinister intentions towards me that still remain unknown. Not only that, but he's tried to kill you twice, and we are currently in the home of the man he hired to do you in the second time. Not to mention the first time, when your adopted father was charged with your murder and is somehow inadvertently or not involved in this matter. So, no, Light-kun, I am not okay," replied L, pulverizing yet another sugar cube. It was somewhat therapeutic.
Instead of showing sympathy, Light rolled his eyes. "You'll get used to it, I'm sure."
L raised an eyebrow, finally looking up from his tea. He couldn't say that he was expecting sympathy per se. Not from Light, anyhow. "Speak from experience?"
Light seemed to swell. "As a matter of fact, I do. And at least no one has tried to kill you yet. I'm on my fourth murder attempt, working towards my fifth," he said huffily.
"Ah, but Roger and Watari now believe that I am dead thanks to your assassin friend. That has to count for something. However, I suppose you're right," acquiesced L, rolling another sugar cube between his fingers. This time he dropped it whole into his tea. It made a satisfying plop.
"Me? Right, you say? Well, I suppose that's Light 7,143 to Lawli 7,140 now," responded Light with great relish.
L paused, his fingers hovering over the sugar cube bag. That struck a chord in him. But what . . . Oh. His eyes widened slightly in realization. "I remember that game . . ."
"You better remember that game. You're the one that started it," snorted Light.
L furrowed his brow. "Wait a second - If I remember correctly, the last time the score was called, we were tied. Light-kun can't continue the game if I'm unaware that I am playing! That's cheating."
"It's not my fault. You should have recognized me. Maybe you'd be in the lead then. I mean, you handcuffed yourself to me, for Christ sakes," pointed out Light, a small smile playing about his lips.
L returned the smile, recognizing the conversation for what it was. Light was trying to distract him away from the mess his life had degraded itself to within the past few hours. L appreciated Light's efforts.
L pointed at Light. "Pot." He pointed at himself. "Kettle."
Light laughed. "Yeah, but I eventually figured it out. You had to be told."
L pursed his lips, afraid that whatever he tried to say in defense of himself would be a weak excuse against Light's accusation, and more than likely it would be. L? The greatest detective in the world? Not bloody likely. Especially since L hadn't figured out that Light Layfield and Yagami Raito were the same person. He was obviously losing his touch.
L plopped another sugar cube into his tea, ignoring Light's smug look. "So where do we go from here?"
Light faltered, his expression sobering. "I'm not sure."
"Well, let's say in a perfect world, Roger wasn't trying to kill you. What exactly did you wish to learn from him?" asked L, adding yet another sugar cube. He should probably stir it. The motion would help the sugar melt.
"Seems like a moot point now. I was trying to find out who wanted to kill me. I thought that if I asked around, someone might know something. I didn't expect that one of the people on my list would be the man I was looking for," said Light.
"I still can't believe you're Roger's grandson," muttered L under his breath.
Light bristled. "Not biologically."
"But still," argued L, stirring his tea in lazy circles.
In the interest of avoiding an argument, L continued before Light could rally up his well-stocked reserve of righteous anger. "It all goes back to Roger. Everything that has happened thus far somehow connects to him. Your parents, my invitation to Whammy's House, your adoption by the Yagami's, my training to become a detective, your four attempted murders -"
"Two," interrupted Light, swirling his own coffee absently.
"What?" asked L, confused. "I thought you said you were working on your fifth?"
"I am. It's just that Roger only tried to kill me twice so far. Once with my father and once with Tank."
"What about the other two?" asked L. He scrutinized Light over the lukewarm teacup he held, his mind awhirl. What had Light been up to since the last time L had seen the other man? Were there others L would have to worry about? Others that wanted to kill Light?
"Ah, I didn't mention that Roger wasn't the first person I visited once I arrived in Europe, did I?" asked Light, seeming to suddenly realize that himself.
"No, you didn't," said L, setting his cup down. L would have definitely remembered that conversation.
"Probably forgot to mention that Tank tried to kill me before last night then, too, huh?" chuckled Light. He obviously found humor in his absentmindedness. L found it aggravating, especially when it seemed that matters of life and death were flippant subjects for the brunet.
"I was under the impression that Tank didn't kill us last night because you saved his life yesterday from an out-of-control ice cream truck," said L, somewhat accusingly.
Light held his hands up. "Hey now, don't give me that look. That is what happened. It's just, in the spirit of cutting a long story short, I didn't mention that Tank burst into my hotel room yesterday morning and almost killed me because he thought I was some guy who had been sleeping with his girlfriend. Or ex-girlfriend. I haven't asked, but anyway, it was an honest mistake. He took me out for coffee to apologize, and the ice cream truck almost hit him as we were leaving the diner."
L just stared at Light, at a loss for words. Light sighed knowingly. It was obvious that Light was better at reading L than he first thought. "Yeah, I know. I don't get it either. I'd just accept it and move on."
"Hmm, but what about the other -" L broke off, his eyes widening.
"Light Layfield," he said, staring at Light. How the hell could he have forgotten?
Light looked confused. "Erm. Yes, L Lawliet?"
L's mind raced. "Please, Light-kun. Tell me you didn't murder three men a few days ago."
Light's face blanked. "Alright. I didn't murder three men a few days ago."
L slammed his hand down onto the table. "That's not what I want to hear!"
"That is exactly what you wanted to hear! You just asked to hear it!" yelled Light.
"I want the truth!" countered L.
"That is the truth!" shot back Light.
L stopped short. "Is that the other attempt on you life, then? Did you kill in self-defense?"
Light rolled his eyes. "Yes, that was just one of the many times someone has shoved a gun in my face and threatened to kill me, and before you say it, no, I wasn't the one to kill them. It was my uncle and his friend."
"Uncle? You have an uncle?" asked L, disbelievingly.
L noted that Light looked somewhat offended. "Why? Is that a problem? I can't have an uncle? Should I only be allowed to have crazy pseudo grandfathers who hanker for my death to the point where they personally arrange the date? Is that it?"
L waved his spoon in Light's direction. "Now you're just being melodramatic."
"I'll show you melodramatic," growled Light, picking up his coffee cup in obvious preparation to chuck it at L's head.
L threw his hands up to cover his face, just in case, but yelled at Light all the same. "ASSASSIN'S HOUSE! LIGHT-KUN! WE'RE IN AN ASSASSIN'S HOUSE!"
Light paused mid pose, his eyes widening. "Oh, well, I suppose you have a point."
"Obviously," huffed L. "I'd rather not agitate someone who kills people for a living by smashing their tableware."
"Well maybe the tableware wouldn't be in danger if you'd just lay off," said Light, setting the coffee cup down gently.
"So you have an uncle," stated L, ignoring what Light was saying. L found that it was better to ignore the other man when Light got in his prissy moods.
"Yes, I have an uncle," snapped Light.
L stopped himself from rolling his eyes. He wouldn't sink down to Light's level - yet. "And your uncle has a friend."
"Most people do."
"And your uncle and his friend killed those three men because they held you at gun point and threatened you life," finished L.
"That about sums it up," agreed Light airily, and L was particularly annoyed with Light's vague confirmations. Since Light couldn't throw something at him, he had obviously settled on being difficult.
"Fine, throw a hissy fit, Light-kun," said L, exasperated. He looked down at his tea cup in passive interest. It was filled to the brim with sugar cubes now.
"I'm not throwing a hissy fit, L!"
"Alright. Fine. So why did those three men try to kill you?" asked L, once again trying to avoid an argument. It wasn't working out too well.
Light shrugged. "My uncle owed them money. So they threatened to kill me if he didn't come up with it. They told him they would continue to mutilate my body until he came back with the money. That's how I got this -" Light pointed to the angry, red slash spanning from his chin to this cheekbone. "And that's when his friend burst in and him and my uncle killed the three men."
L quirked his head. "Fascinating. Your family is absolutely fascinating, Light-kun."
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean!?" yelled Light.
L shook his head. "Nothing. It just amazes me that your whole family, blood related or otherwise, consists of murderers. I guess becoming Kira was more a matter of genetics than anything else, no?"
L knew he had crossed the line when he felt the first punch, and maybe he shouldn't have said that, but he was feeling particularly vindictive this morning, and he couldn't let the opportunity to take a dig at Light pass him by.
L was surprised that Light had stopped at the first punch.
"You really are a bastard, you know that?" spat Light.
L nodded sagely, rubbing his thrice bruised cheek. "Yes, I know."
"But I suppose I might have deserved it. Just a bit. I was the one who made the choice to become Kira in the first place," admitted Light grudgingly.
"Hmm. This is true," agreed L whole heartedly.
Light paused. "Well, you didn't have to agree so adamantly, but nevertheless, can we put all that aside for now? I'd rather concentrate on figuring out our next step."
"That's fine by -"
"LUCY! I'M HOME!" sang a voice, who L immediately identified as the assassin. He tensed. People in general had always made him uncomfortable and nervous. However, giant assassins, who for all appearences, seemed to suffer from a severe form of ADHD made him doubly so.
The man ambled into the room, laden down with grocery bags. "Hey you two! I got a bunch of groceries, see? 'Cause it looks like we'll be having a buddy of mine joining us. Poor fellow's having - ahh - apartment troubles. But the more the merrier, right?"
"A buddy?" asked Light, his voice unsure. L cut his eyes between the assassin and Light. Why didn't he have a good feeling about this?
"Oh, don't worry, Asian guy! He's completely trustworthy. Known him for years! Take my word for it!" grinned Tank, removing container after container of multi-colored sprinkles from a brown grocery bag.
"So, where is this friend of yours?" asked Light, getting up to help Tank unpack the groceries.
"Eh. He's bringing the rest of the groceries up from the car. He should be here in a few," shrugged Tank.
L and Light shared an uneasy glance. The first sign of trouble, and L didn't care what the assassin might do, L was grabbing Light and making a run for it.
"Where ya want this shit, Tank?" yelled a deep voice with a heavy cockney accent.
L blinked as the man slunk into the room, his eyes immediately zoning in on the tattoos of naked women decorating the man's bare arms.
The man, for his part, yelped, and dropped his load of groceries.
"Aww, dude! The eggs, dude! The eggs!" groaned Tank.
But the odd looking man didn't pay any attention to the assassin. He was staring wide eyed and slack jawed at Light, who L noticed was staring back with equal amounts of shock.
"Gr-Greg?" breathed Light.
A grin split the man's - Greg's - face. "LIGHT! Ha! Yer alright after all! Thank God!"
L just about threw himself at the man, thinking that perhaps the stranger was attacking Light, but it became apparent that the stranger's intentions weren't harmful as Greg grabbed Light into a hug, both of them smiling and clapping each other's back like old chums.
L wasn't quite sure as to why, but he felt a twist of irrational anger at the sight, and he sort of wished he had thrown himself at the other man before this Greg person could have put a finger on Light.
"When you said you'd find me, I didn't really think that you would be able to," gasped Light, who had been drawn into yet another particularly tight hug from the stranger. L stopped himself from growling, but he couldn't stop his eyes from narrowing.
"I didn't think I'd be finding ya for a while yet either, Lightie! I'm just glad yer alright!" smiled Greg.
Lightie? L's fist clenched.
"Oh ho! Man, does this just keep getting interesting! You know this Asian guy, Greg?" asked Tank, shooting L a knowing look. L frowned, not understanding why Tank would regard him so.
"Know him? 'Course I know him! 'E's me nephew!" exclaimed Greg, patting Light soundly on the back.
L felt his eyes widen. Nephew? This man was Light's uncle? L felt himself relax, wondering at how the anger that twisted his belly not a moment before was melting away. It was something he would have to meditate on later.
"Your nephew!? Whew! I thought for a second that you were one of Asian guy's past lovers or something. Damn, that would have been really awkward," said Tank, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment and shooting L another one of those looks.
"Oh, well, ya know what they say, don't ya? Vice is nice, but incest is best! Ain't that right, Lightie?" laughed Tank, elbowing Light in the ribs.
"It's not funny anymore, Greg," mumbled Light, and L was curious to see that Light was blushing. Surely that didn't mean - no. No, incest was - Light would never engage in something -
Greg made a show of slapping Light's rear end, to the guffaws of Tank. L felt like he was about to crawl out of his skin.
"Hey, cut it out, Greg! It was a one time deal, anyhow. I don't plan on ever waking up with you hovering over me naked again," shouted Light, punching Greg in the shoulder. The older man brushed it off.
L felt his body freeze, and the burning, twisting anger was slithering back into his gut with a vengeance. Naked?
"Oh, man. I know how he gets, Asian guy. Bet you couldn't keep him in his clothes, huh?" chuckled Tank, who was now moving about the kitchen with ease born of practice. It appeared that he was gathering the ingredients for pancakes.
L's eye twitched. Couldn't keep him in his clothes?!
Light nodded. "Yeah. I've spent more time with him naked than with him being clothed, that's for sure."
L ground his teeth. Spent more time with him naked?!
"How do you two know each other?" asked Light, looking between Greg and Tank.
Greg and Tank smiled at one another. "Well, Asian guy. My cousin dated Greg back when we were all in high school. I actually spent more time with Greg than she did, though. They split up, and Greg here became my bitch."
"What 'e means to say is, I became his best friend," corrected Greg with a roll of his eyes.
"No, I meant you're my bitc -"
"And who do we 'ave here? You've been awfully quiet there, mister. Are ya a friend of Tank's?" asked Greg, finally turning his attentions to L.
"No. I am a friend of Light's," said L, his face blank and his voice cold.
"Aww, don't be like that, Spike! You're my friend, too!" called Tank from inside the pantry.
"Actually, Greg. This is Ryuuzaki. He's a friend of mine from Japan," explained Light.
"Japan, yeah? That's a long ways away. Well, what's 'e doing 'ere then? Is 'e on holiday?" asked Greg.
Light and L shared a glance. "Well, I just sort of ran into him -"
"They were sleeping together when I found them," interrupted Tank.
"What? Me little nephew and this bloke?" asked Greg, incredulous, pointing at L's head. L glared.
"Technically, I was drugged," grumbled L under his breath, but it didn't stop Greg from hearing him.
"No! Don't tell me ya drugged him, Lightie? There's better ways to get some booty than resorting to those kinda measures and what not!" exclaimed Greg, giving Light a reprimanding look.
Light shook his head. "It wasn't like that! See, his grandfather drugged him becau -"
L quirked an eyebrow. Grandfather?
"Woah! Hold up! Apparently I'm not the only one that thinks vice is nice, but incest is best!" said Greg appreciatively.
L almost, almost kicked the agitating man.
"NO! Ryuuzaki is an insomniac. His grandfather drugged him so Ryuuzaki could get some rest. I didn't know he was in bed when I got in it to go to sleep, and then Tank came in before I could figure it out," explained Light.
"That's pretty much what happened," agreed Tank. "Oh, god damn it! Where is the - Oh, shit! You did break the fucking eggs, didn't you? Fuck, Greg. How the hell am I supposed to -"
"Light and I can go and fetch some fresh ones," interrupted L, seizing the opportunity to leave. And especially to get Light out of Greg's presence, but L wasn't quite ready to admit to himself why he was so desperate to see those two seperated.
Light shot him a look, but L ignored him.
"Well, Spikey, if you think you can find the store, sure. Just take a left at the drive way, walk down five blocks, take a right, then another three blocks and you're at the store," explained Tank, his good mood returning at the prospect of new eggs.
"Come on, Light-kun," ordered L, standing up. Light stood up as well.
"If ya need me to show ya the wa -"
"We'll be fine, Greg. Thank you," replied L, not even looking over his shoulder at the man as he walked out the kitchen, in what was hopefully the direction to the front door.
"Er, we'll be right back, you guys," called Light, hurrying to catch up.
Once the front door was closed, and L and Light were safely a block away, Light decided to speak.
"What's up with you? I know you don't like people, but Greg and Tank -"
"I know, Light-kun. Greg is your uncle and Tank is the man who saved your life -"
"Actually, they both saved my life," pointed out Light.
"I'm aware of that. But I think we need to find alternate arrangements. You forget who I am. They may not harm a hair on your head, but I'm a different matter altogether," said L, shoving his hands deep into his pockets.
"Oh, come on. I'm sure -"
"Your uncle. He's likes money?" asked L suddenly.
Light blinked. "I suppose. He gambles enough as it is, but what does that have to do with -"
"Three billion dollars."
Light paused. "Excuse me?"
"Three billion American dollars. Do you know how much that converts to in Japan? 283,668,066,586 yen. That's the highest bid for my head. No matter how much they like you, if they find out who I am, three billion dollars, 1,865,990,679 British pounds, would go a long way in easing any guilt they might have for my blood on their hands. And you know it would be easy for them to kill me. That Tank fellow kills for a living, Light. And you're uncle proved to have no qualms in killing a man or three."
They walked on, a heavy silence between them.
"I'll have to get my duffle bag. Before we leave," said Light quietly.
L nodded. "Then we'll get it upon our return."
"What am I going to say to them?" asked Light, kicking a soda bottle out of his path.
"Who says we have to say anything?"
"So we're just going to sneak out?"
"A clean break," agreed L.
Light sighed. "Where are we going to go?"
L shrugged. "I need my computer. I suppose we should head back to Whammy's House."
Light turned to look at him as if he had lost his mind. "Back to the orphanage? Are you nuts? Might as well as give Roger our heads on a silver platter! I'll buy you a new computer, L, for Christs sakes!"
"You don't understand, Light-kun. My laptop is the only way that L the detective connects with the world. I guarantee that we'll eventually need those connections afforded by my position as the three top detectives in the world. Money, contacts, case information - it's all on that laptop, and I'll be damned if I let it fall into someone else's hands," said L, determined to get his way.
"Oh fine. You're probably right," conceeded Light.
"Oh? I'm right? Lawli 7,141 to Light 7,143, then. Seems like I'm catching up," smirked L.
Light aimed a punch at his head, which L happily dodged. It was just like old times, and that made L smile. Despite the odds, they had found each other once again, and L couldn't remember a time when he had been any happier than he was in that moment.
A/N: There you are people!
Now, SAY A LITTLE SOMETHING! (Preferably awesome!). I feel as if we are progressing nicely. Don't you?
And isn't Jealous!L adorable!?!
(((I will eventually get around to editing this chapter, but I figure no one wanted to wait much longer, ne?)))
OVER 100,000 WORDS!?!?! XD XD XD XD