sooo sorry this took soo long and is such utter crap… I've just been soooo busy with Unie, work, fam and friends… Plus a bit of a writers block…
B00kw0rm92:I was planning on it! hope you keep enjoying the fic!
ShortMaggot:Thank you soo much.. We're all keeping everything crossed… and I'm glad you love the fic!
Iko:I'm glad you like the fic.. and yeah.. I know… *looks down ashamed* my spelling is awful… I'm trying to pay more attention… I promise…
speckled girl:Well.. you'll just have to wait and see won't ya? Mwhaahah…. Thank you for your support!
SwarmOfFanGirlsThank you … glad you're still enjoying the fic!
Eveyxthexfaerie'Help Draco Malfoy club' on the way! Lol.. Glad you liked it!
Tears Like RainSoooo sorry.. yeah.. I did mess that up didn't I? No hard feelings? I'm trying to pay more attention to grammar and spelling… I'm so glad you think my characterization are good… I wasn't too sure myself…
MagickBeingHey Shan! Thanks for the review … yep it does!
Song Of EternityThank you.. Fixed the name now… I read both the books and the movie.. I just totally messed it up…. Sooo sorry…
xlovekillsxmanyxHere's more for ya!
Well… now for the new chapter…!
I once again am reverting back to watching you, hoping your father wouldn't come to the school anytime soon so your injuries get a chance to heal. I wonder why I care, when you won't help yourself. Maybe I should tell Dumbledore? He would know what to do… wouldn't he? I put that idea aside immediately, you'd kill me if you found out I told anyone. I just have to convince you to tell someone. You seem to have reverted back to normal, sneering at anyone in your way, joking around with your cronies. Crabbe and I meet eyes every so often helpless. When tests arrive I head into the library to get some studying done. Hermione already had spent most of the day studying with Ron and me and now was studying back in the common-room when Ron had gotten bored and simply decided to head down to the quidditch pitch. The library is empty since it is rather late. It's empty, except for a blond head that sticks out over a mountain of books. I frown. Malfoy studying? Sure he was top of the class shared or second to Hermione, but I never saw you studying in those years at Hogwarts, it all seemed to come natural.
I hesitantly walk closer and sat down. You are so wrapped up in your studies you don't seem to notice as I sit next to you. I softly clear my throat since I don't want to startle you too much. You look up from your book frowning slightly confused. Then when you realize it's me you sigh slightly but move some books out of the way to make room. I put my books down almost afraid to speak "did he… visit again?" I ask. You simply sigh and look up again "he did" you shrug leaning back in your seat. I sigh "you should tell someone" I try but you shake your head "no-one can know" you insist. This is frustrating. How can I help someone who won't help themselves? I open a book. I really needed to study if I was going to pass this test. You aren't reading any of the schoolbooks though "shouldn't you be studying arithmancy?" I ask curious. You simply shrug "already done" you answer "my father requested I read this". I shake my head.. yeah, requested my ass… I now do understand why you've been looking so exhausted lately. Even Hermione hadn't looked as tired, but then again, her stakes were less high.
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I raise an eyebrow. What do you care about my 'studies'. I myself couldn't care less. I had beyond prepared for that blasted test though… and was now trying to catch up on some reading my father had ordered me to do. He had always expected me to read the stacks of book he always seemed to have lying around. When I had gone to school he had resorted to simply sending me a few a week. I stifle a yawn but I'm not really successful "you should get some sleep" you tell me and I sigh deeply "don't you think I want to Harry…" I ask closing my eyes "I just can't yet". You nod in understanding. I look up "do you still need to do a lot?" I ask. I really couldn't concentrate anymore and the rest of the damn book would have to wait until tomorrow. You shake your head "just wanted to go over my, or rather.. Hermione's notes one more time" you shrug I nod and leant back in my seat closing my eyes for a moment. You sigh and eventually close the book you were looking over. I smile. Studying wasn't your thing, granted, it wasn't mine either, I mean, usually I didn't even bother, since I knew most of the crap they tried to teach us anyway. I'd get good grades without the hassle of studying, but I knew I had to be better then Hermione this year.
School, quidditch and keeping up with my father's demands was exhausting. You eventually look at me you… "you want to talk?" you ask unsure and I let my eyes meet yours "what is there to talk about?" I sigh softly. You now narrow your eyes "well, there's what your father's doing to you, the you cutting yourself, hell, take your pick" you counter exasperated. I shake my head "I just, I just want to forget it ever happened" I say softly wincing at the utter weak sound that came out of my mouth. You look thoughtful "don't you think it is about time you at least talk about what happens?" you retort soft as well. "What do you want to hear?" I snap "my parents hate me, and for as long as I can remember I've had to fight to survive, had to find a way to outsmart my father" I sigh running a shaky hand through my hair. You stare at the floor "is that what you want to hear?". I really didn't mean for it to come of this harsh… I just really did not feel comfortable discussing this. You shake your head "of course not" you counter "but it is good you're talking". I raise an eyebrow laying my head against the wall. What on earth was I thinking? I should just learn to keep my big mouth shut. I shake my head "I… I don't know" I sigh "I just want to forget about it" I say softly. "But you can't" you simply state and deep down I know you are right. I meet your gaze as you watch me expectantly. I avert my gaze. Why was this so damn hard? "I'm just so tired… and it just.. it won't stop…" I finally say barely above a whisper and it surprises me that you could even hear it. You swallow, I guess you really don't know how to handle this. Have those muggles you live with done the same? I don't think so since I can find no indication. I had however heard they are not all that fond of our 'dear saviour'. I have to admit that did confuse me, I suppose people are just frightened of what they do not know.
You eventually look up "what you are doing though, is not going to help" you say softly and I didn't even have to ask what you were talking about. I stare at the floor "it… it helps.." I state lamely. I know this didn't make sense to you, but it was the truth. It calmed me down and hell it just felt good to be in control over my own body for once. I know it sounds crazy, but hell, I'm the first to admit I'm a total 'wackjob' is the professional term I think muggles use and I was well aware of it. "Draco… one of these days it's going… it's going to kill you" you sigh. I raise an eyebrow "if only" I mutter and you sigh deeply "come on Draco.. " you say almost near pleading and I wonder whether that is to ease your own guilt or if you really meant it. Who knew? And I for one don't really care.
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I wonder what's going through you're mind right now. I really can't tell. You are so damn good at hiding everything, how the hell am I suppose to help you? I sigh inwardly. What had I gotten myself into. You sigh "don't worry Potter, just forget you ever saw anything". Are you for real? How do you expect me to just turn away? Somehow it then dawns on me just how much growing up with that family must have effected you. I shake my head "Draco, I can't just.. pretend I don't know" I try and make you understand. Not all people are like that. Truth is, before I started Hogwarts, I too had not held to much belief in humanity. Staying with relatives that despise you will do that. When I met Hagrid, Ron and his family and Hermione though, I realized that wasn't the case. I suppose you have didn't have that luxury, and well, I suppose your situation is quit a bit worse that mine ever was.
You're silver eyes lock on mine for a split second, and even though very well hidden, behind the hatred, frustration, pain and anger, there is something like desperation, exhaustion. Truthfully, I'm scared for you. Talk of death may now still simply be talk, but who know before you will really see no other option? How long until the amazing strength you must possess is completely drained? I couldn't tell. Maybe I should just drop this. We were both tired, and well it was starting to get rather late. I rise to my feet stretching slightly "I'm going to go get some sleep" I announce and you nod in agreement. You get up as well and we leave the empty library. When we part ways at the end of the corridor we say our goodbyes.
When I enter the common-room Hermione is on the couch in front of the fire, with a, it was to be expected, book. Had she been waiting for me? I smile sitting down beside her, It take a few moments for her to realize she had company and then she put the book away. "Harry" she smiled "where have you been?" she the frowned catching a glimpse of the clock. She had completely lost track of time. I smile "at the library" I replied returning the notes to their rightful owner. The brunette nodded "you prepared for the test?" she asked like a concerned mother might have and I smile "yes 'Mione, I think so" I nod. She returns the smile "good" she comments before yawning. I'm going to turn in though, good night" she smiled giving me a hug good-night before she disappears up the stairs and it isn't long before I do the same…
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Thank you all for reading… Once again I apologize for the suckyness.
I would really, really appreciate reviews with feedback and maybe with some suggestion with what they'd like to happen in the story?
Xxxx Malou