All characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details belong to the author. No copying or reproduction of this work in any language is permitted without the express written authorization of the author. Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. Thank you. July 2010.
A million thanks to my wonderful beta xrxdanixrx, who provides the banner, and writes four amazing stories: Don't Try to Save Me, At Your Own Risk, Hate Me, and Here We Go Again. Much love, hun!
Twilighted Beta – Shabbyapple. Thanks as always for turning these around so quickly.
Thanks to all reading and reviewing. Your reviews mean everything.
Let's see how Bella's day shapes up…come, join me.
BPOV
Chapter 23
I lie in bed, unable to sleep. The adrenaline from the incident which the police are calling "last night's episode," fading with each passing second. According to the alarm clock by the bed, which is now my new best friend, its four fifty-nine. I think I may have gotten three hours of extremely restless sleep so far, if I'm lucky.
At least the police were helpful and listened intently. Once they found out I was Charlie's daughter, I was surrounded by more officers than I'm sure were necessary. They were overly attentive, wanting to know every detail, and scowling in the places I'm sure Charlie would have when I didn't have the answers to their questions.
Because of my inability to provide many relevant details on what happened, there really isn't much that the police can do, other than to say that if it happens again, let them know. Yeah…like I needed to be told that.
So, I turn restlessly, trying desperately to fall asleep and knowing that it's pointless. I vacillate between thinking about the dark blue car and Edward. I wonder how he's going to fit in tonight with the little party of five we have going on.
Last night was a massive step forward…well, for me, anyway. I know that Edward would like to move things along, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel the same way. I know there are probably plenty of women who would have jumped at the chance to…well…jump him. But, I don't just want to have sex with Edward and end it at that. I know that this is going to be different for both of us, and I'm trying to figure out a way to make it so it's not completely awkward and disappointing. Baby steps…that's what we need to do. He said he was willing to do whatever it takes. Did he really mean that?
I wish Charlie was here. He was always such a fantastic judge of character, and even though he was a man of few words, if I asked him, he would tell me flat out what he thought. No holds barred. Just tell it like it is. I really miss him. It's been a while since I visited his spot at the cottage. It seemed appropriate for his final resting place. It was the one thing Mom and I agreed on. I let her have the new age funeral, with her various spiritual guides, mostly because it distracted her from the intense grief she was experiencing at the time. The lake, we agreed on. It's where he could always escape the stress of his job. Where he could fish and watch the sun come up in the old green rickety row bow with the little motor on the back. It's time I visited him.
The sun is just kissing the horizon when I pull up to the cottage. It's not much, just a simple A-frame with two bedrooms, but it holds a special place in my heart. It's where we spent every summer, until I went to university. It's where Charlie taught me how to fish and Renee taught me how to catch fireflies in little Mason jars. We roasted marshmallows over the open fire pit at the edge of the lake, where Renee would attempt to play the guitar. Charlie would just watch her, with a wistful look on his face, and not say a word about how horrific her guitar playing really was. I smile while the memories come flooding back as they always do when I come here.
I get out of the Jeep and make my way down to the dock. The lake is like a plane of glass this morning, mist rising off the top, a slight damp chill in the air lingering from last night's rain. The ever present loon echoes to me from around the bay. I sit back into the weathered Muskoka chair and shut my eyes, wrapping my sweater around me while the wind picks up slightly.
"Hey, Dad. I'm sorry it's been a while. Things are…well, crazy. No big surprise there. Mom is happy. She's taking some cooking courses, which I'm sure I'll have to be the taste tester for at some point." I open my eyes and listen to the rhythmic swaying of the dock. I remember him cannonballing off the end of it nearly every time Renee and I sunbathed on it.
"They're making me a new prosthetic so I can go skiing. I know you wouldn't approve. I can just see you rolling your eyes at me right now. Would you understand if I told you, I have to do it? For me? Emmett is right about needing to kick the mountain in the ass, and if I can do this…there's probably not much I can't do." I lean my head back and listen as the wind moves through the cedar trees that dot the shoreline.
"I met someone, Dad. Somebody special. At least, I hope he is. His name is Edward and he's kind of like you in a lot of ways. He doesn't take any crap from me, he treats me like a normal person, and he wants to try to understand this. I wish you were here. I wish you could meet him. I wish you could tell me I'm doing the right thing, because I really don't know if I am. I remember you telling me once to trust my instinct. That's what you always did. But what if I'm wrong, Dad? What if he breaks my heart?" My tears fall silently while the wind picks up, rattling the chime that Mom mounted to one of the cedars the day we scattered his ashes. I watch the sun rise higher, and it's eerily quiet, like there isn't another soul out here.
"It's peaceful here this morning. It's the kind of morning you always loved. The water is calm and you can see a perfect reflection of the island across the lake. I bet the fish are biting today." I brush the tears from my cheeks and shut my eyes. "I won't be so long next time. Maybe I'll bring Edward. I miss you, Dad." I sit in the chair, a serene silence washing over me, the way it always seemed to do when I was with Charlie.
XXXXXX
Loblaws grocery store on a Sunday morning is the devil. Why does everyone and their dog wait until Sunday to shop? I have no one to blame but myself. If I was more prepared, I wouldn't be here right now. Instead, I waited until the last minute, and now, I'm stuck in the line from hell that is moving at a snail's pace, while some annoying child begs his mother for a pack of Smarties. She's not giving in and it takes everything in me not to buy the pack for him, just to get the whining to stop.
I'm nudged in the ass by a cart and whirl around to unleash on whatever asshole has pushed me over the edge. "Jake!" I yell, my eyes wide. He flashes me his signature smile and squeezes in between our carts to get closer to me. "What are you doing all the way down here? Isn't this a little far to come for you?"
"I like the selection better here," he says, quirking an eyebrow. Somehow, I think there's more to that than he's saying.
"Really? How is the selection here better than it is at the store that's only two blocks from you?" I ask while I start to place the groceries on the belt to be scanned.
"I don't know. It just is," he says firmly. "Having company over?" He nods his head to the massive amount groceries that are required any time Emmett is coming to dinner.
"Yeah, the usual Sunday dinner with the gang," I say while the mother in front of me drags her little boy kicking and screaming from the cashier. She tries to entice him with a bag of Goldfish crackers, which seems to do the trick. I'm fairly certain everyone in the store is thankful to the makers of those crackers right now.
I finish unloading the contents of the cart, and I'm contemplating asking Jake to join us, when a petite brunette with short hair hollers at him from down the cereal aisle. She's racing to the cart, waving two boxes in her hands. "Jake! Cinnamon Toast Crunch or Corn Pops?" she asks, coming to an abrupt stop when she sees me.
"Corn Pops, babe," he says, offering her a warm smile and backing up from me.
She drops the Corn Pops into cart and sets the other box on the display beside the cash, her eyes never leaving mine. We stand there in awkward silence as Jake just looks between us, struggling, it seems, to form a coherent thought. "Leah…ahhh, this is Bella. Bella, Leah," Jake finally introduces uneasily. "Leah's the nurse I was telling you about."
"Nice to meet you," I say, offering her my hand, which she takes and grips so tightly, I fear she's stopped the blood from circulating.
"You, too," she says coolly, loosening her grip and immediately attaching her hand to Jake's bulging bicep. "How do you two know each other?"
"Jake's my physiotherapist," I say, trying to ease her stress.
"Hey, that's it? I'm just your physio guy now?" he asks jokingly. Leah practically hisses at him and his smile fades immediately. I'll never understand men and their complete lack of common sense. Anyone can see that she's worried about who I am, and he's completely oblivious. I just shake my head, moving to pay for the groceries. "We're still on for our run on Monday, right?"
"Yeah, sounds good. Leah, do you live around here?" I ask.
"Just a few blocks over," she says acidly.
Jake wraps his arms around her waist and lowers his neck, kissing her gently. "Hence the reason I'm in this grocery store," he mutters. She giggles and kisses him back. I breathe a sigh of relief that I'm not the cause of an argument between them. Seeing Jake like this is heart warming. He looks happy…really happy, and he deserves to be.
"Hey, you guys should come over for dinner one night," I suggest.
"You mean like a double date?" Jake asks, raising his eyebrows to me. "With you and that Edward guy?"
"Yeah. We can figure out a day that works tomorrow," I say, paying for the groceries and starting for the cart. "It was good to meet you, Leah."
"You, too, Bella," she says, her icy exterior thawing considerably upon hearing I have a man in my life. Well, I guess I have a man in my life. Oh, why do I have to over think everything?
Once I have the groceries loaded, I make my way back home to start on the three pans of lasagna…an exciting way to spend Sunday afternoon, reminding me of just how empty my life is. I love the gang, truly I do, but at the end of the night, they go home together, and I'm alone. I blame no one but myself and I don't want a pity party. Now, for the first time, I know what I want. I don't want to be the fifth wheel anymore.
By the time four o'clock rolls around, I've cleaned the entire house, and the three lasagnas are cooking. I'm completely exhausted. Only having a few hours of sleep is not a good thing, and so I lie down, pathetically curling up beside the clothes Edward gave me to wear last night, and I shut my eyes.
XXXXXX
"Is that your famous homemade lasagna I smell?" Emmett's load voice booms from the door while he and Rose let themselves in.
"Sure is, Em," I confirm.
Rose sets a massive bowl of salad on the counter and sits down on one of the stools. "No Edward yet?" she asks, raising an eyebrow.
"No, not yet," I say, glancing at the clock on the stove, which reveals that he's already late.
"You look tired. Are you alright?" Rose asks.
"Yeah, I didn't get much sleep last night," I admit.
"Oh my God! I didn't even ask about your night!" Rose shouts. I feel myself turn red while Emmett pulls two Keith's beers out of the fridge. "Spill it, Bella! You're blushing again. What happened?"
"It was…"
"You slept with him!" Rose gushes, her eyes wide.
"Rose! No! It was our first date, for God's sake," I scold.
"Yeah, so? Rosie and I did it on our first date," Emmett says. Rose hits him on the chest. "Babe, it's the truth. You couldn't keep your hands off me."
"I didn't see you complaining," Rose quips.
"Not in a million years." He opens the beers and then kisses her before handing her one. "That was hot. We didn't make it out of your apartment," Emmett says, draping his arm over her shoulder.
"Ok, spare me the details. Seriously, you guys," I mutter, pretending to check on the lasagna, which I already know is done.
"Come on, Bella. Details!" Rose presses. I'm saved, thankfully for the time being, by Alice knocking and skipping into the house with Jasper trailing behind her. Alice passes over a bottle of wine to me, which I immediately decide to open. Jasper sets a pan of brownies on the counter and digs into the fresh bread.
"Your famous Texas Brownies, Jazz?" I ask, hopefully. These brownies are the only thing Jasper makes and they are fantastic.
"As you requested," he says, smirking at me.
"So, let's hear it!" Alice exclaims, practically bouncing up and down. "I've been dying to hear about your date all day. I called you a million times this morning. Were you at his place?"
"No. I wasn't at his place. But, something did happen last night," I say tentatively. Emmett clenches his fists, his eyes narrowing while I describe the incident with the car last night.
"What the hell? Who would do something like that?" Emmett asks, studying me carefully.
"I don't know, Em. The police said there have been a few complaints about erratic driving and street games lately," I say, trying to sound blasé about the whole thing.
"Why didn't you call me?" Rose asks.
"It was pretty late and…"
"Bella, this is us. We would have been there in a heartbeat, hun. You must have been really shaken up," Jasper says.
"We would have come, Bella. You know that," Alice adds, wrapping her arm around my shoulder.
"I know that, but I'm fine, you guys. I was freaked out a bit, but I'm ok. Don't let it ruin the night, alright?"
Alice nods her head and then switches moods completely. "So…the date? Let's hear it, and I mean all the details!"
"It was good," I say nonchalantly.
"Good? That's it? That's all you're giving us?" Alice asks, looking hurt that I'm not providing every single detail on what happened.
"You know me, I don't like to kiss and tell, Alice," I tease.
"Oh! You kissed him!" Rose shouts.
"There may have been a few kisses, yeah," I admit, feeling my face flush again.
"That's pretty PG-13, Bella. Don't get all crazy on us, now," Emmett mocks.
"He agreed to do the article, Alice," I say. She claps her hands while Jasper just rolls his eyes.
"What did you have to do to make him agree to that?" Rose asks suggestively.
"Get your minds out of the gutter, you guys."
"Where is he, anyway?" Alice asks.
"I'm sure he's on his way," I say hopefully, turning off the oven and painfully aware that clock is inching past 7:15.
Jasper opens the wine, pouring us all a glass before we move to the living room. I sit facing the clock on the wall that I'm starting to really despise. Edward is late, but maybe he's just trying not to look too eager. I steal a glance out the living room window for the fiftieth time. The rain has started again…maybe there's an accident…oh God, what if he's in an accident? My heart starts to race while my imagination runs wild.
I try to focus on Emmett, who is amusing us with more information than I could ever want on the new car he wants to buy, while the ticking second hand on the clock becomes infinitely louder in the room.
7:25…Alice offers me a sympathetic look from her perch on Jasper's lap. I shrug my shoulders, trying desperately not to make it look like I'm worried.
7:30…Rose reveals that she has purchased her dress for the auction and its "epic." Emmett makes some sort of comment about her looking better out of the dress than in it, and she tells him he's cut off from sex until he can make it more than an hour without talking about it. He looks worried about being able to accomplish that.
7:40…Jasper refills our wine glasses and suggests that maybe Edward is stuck in traffic. Yeah, because there is oh so much traffic on a Sunday night. I've officially moved from worried to pissed off. Emmett is distracted, texting someone on his phone and saying there's a "situation" brewing at the gym.
7:45…The four of them are having some sort of conversation, which I hear only bits and pieces of, but which I think is about the auction. I've resigned myself to the fact that he's not coming. He's decided it's not worth it; that I'm not worth it. I bite my lip to keep from breaking down in front of them and move to the kitchen. I set the lasagna and salad in the middle of the table, disappointment washing over me, keeping my back turned from the living room so they can't see the tears that are freely falling. I feel Emmett wrap his arm around my shoulder. "I'm sure there's an explanation, B. He'll be here," he says softly.
I smile up at him weakly. "Well, dinner is going to be ruined if we wait any longer," I mumble, brushing the tears from my cheeks. I take a deep breath and turn back to the living room. "Let's eat."
"What about Edward?" Alice asks.
"Edward is forty-five minutes late and I didn't slave all day over three lasagnas to have them ruined. We're eating," I bark. They know by the tone of my voice not question me. Emmett excuses himself to check in with the gym, while the rest of the gang sits down.
7:55…Not that I'm keeping track or anything. Emmett is back from checking on whatever crisis is happening at the gym, and is eating like he hasn't tasted food in weeks. "This is fantastic, B!" Emmett garbles with his mouth full.
"Glad you like it. I have another full one you can take home with you," I say.
"Marry me," he says, flashing me his dimples.
"Hey! I make lasagna!" Rose says.
"Not like this, babe," Emmett says, winking at her.
I've completely lost my appetite, the usual banter and stories that I normally love carry on, but are mere echoes around me. I try to smile in the appropriate places, and answer questions if I'm asked, but I feel deflated.
8:25…I down my second glass of wine, annoyed with myself that I've let this get to me as much as it has. Emmett is sitting back in his chair, rubbing his stomach, signaling he's finally done. I clear the plates methodically and set them in the sink. I place Jasper's infamous Texas brownies in the middle of the table and take another look out the window. I shake my head in disappointment and smile at Jasper while he fills up my wine glass…wine…if Edward was here, I'm sure he'd have something to say about this wine. Stupid wine aficionado.
Emmett is cutting into the brownies eagerly when a frantic knock at the door causes us all to freeze in our seats. All heads in the room turn to me while I glare at the door. Rose raises an eyebrow. "Better late then never," she says dryly.
I push back aggressively from the table and make my way to the door, flinging it open, prepared to unload on him. Edward is standing there, his hair slightly wet from the rain, looking apologetic and fucking hot in a black t-shirt and jeans. Both of his hands are wrapped firmly around bottles of wine, and paint is still evident on his fingers and arms. Of course he was painting. A wave of relief washes over me and I silently admonish myself for thinking the worst.
He lets out a nervous breath, his expression almost pained. "I'm sorry. I was painting, and time…"
"Got away from you?" I ask, pointing out the obvious.
"Yeah. I have wine," he says, looking at me like a lost puppy, his piercing eyes silently begging me to forgive him. I open the door further and let him in. He's anxious and panicked, telling me that he missed me today.
"Really? You're always late when you miss someone?" I ask, wanting to prolong his torture just a little more.
"I'm sorry. You know how I get when I paint and I just…there's no excuse, really. I'm an idiot," he admits.
"Well, now we're getting somewhere," I say, enjoying the fact that he's squirming. He's going on about how he brought ice wine and I just watch his perfect lips, my disappointment turning quickly to desire while he tries desperately to save himself. I take the bottles of wine from him, our fingers touching, and the undeniable pull between us sparks immediately.
"I'm glad you're here. I was starting to think that maybe…" My voice trails while he stares down at me intently.
"Don't think that, ok? There isn't anywhere else I want to be right now, Bella," he says sincerely.
"Really?"
"Really. Let's go learn about ice wine."
"If you insist," I say, pulling him into the kitchen.
"Well, look what the rain washed in. Thanks for being on time, Cullen," Rose says sarcastically.
"I'm sorry, guys. I was painting and I lost track of time," he tries to explain, but Rose isn't at all happy about it.
"Perhaps you should invest in a watch," Rose presses. I shoot Rose a warning look. "What? It couldn't hurt."
I roll my eyes at her. "Edward, this is Alice and Jasper."
"Nice to meet you both. Alice, Bella tells me you'd like to do a piece for your magazine. I'd be happy to…" Edward's voice trails as he watches Alice practically combust in her seat with anticipation.
"I have so much to ask you," she says excitedly, getting up from the table and pulling him into the living room. "I brought my recorder just in case. We might as well do this now, right?" She pulls out a notepad and a mini voice recorder from her oversized bag and starts launching questions at him. Jasper joins them while I fix Edward a plate of food and heat it up.
"Getting all domesticated?" Emmett asks, leaning on the counter.
"He needs to eat, right?"
"You really like him, don't you?"
"Is it that obvious?" I ask sarcastically.
"If you didn't like him, he'd still be standing on the porch, freezing his ass off in the rain. It's good to see, Bella. You deserve to be happy," Emmett says sincerely.
Alice's laughter floats into the kitchen while she grills Edward. He's animated while he answers; raking his hands through his hair, furrowing his eyebrows, stretching and twisting his fingers. He's fascinating to watch. I take the food to him, and he digs in eagerly, balancing the plate on his knees.
"You're known for vibrant abstract pieces that are open to interpretation. Where does your inspiration come from?" Alice asks seriously.
Edward swallows and locks his eyes to mine. "I get inspiration from a number of places, lately one extremely remarkable place. My work is deeply personal for me. What you see…it's like I'm dipping my brush in my soul. I paint how things affect me. The colours, the shapes, and the depth of the strokes…it's not random like a lot of people naively believe. Its emotion and passion, longing and hope, and feeling…mostly feeling," he says. I think I've stopped breathing altogether. Silence falls over the room. Edward issues me one of his trademark heated gazes that warms me to the core, and I forget for an instant that there are other people in the room.
"Well, why don't we just take pictures now?" Jasper suggests, breaking the silence.
Alice glances outside to the steady downpour that is soaking the street. "In the rain, Jazz?" she asks skeptically.
"Why not?" Jasper questions.
"I think that's a great idea," Edward says, smiling wickedly.
"Do you have everything you need for that?" Alice asks.
"Yeah, of course. You know the car is always full of my stuff," Jasper confirms.
"And you're ok with that, Edward? Getting soaked?" Alice asks. I can see she's not a fan of this plan.
"I'm not going to melt, Alice, and it's much more edgy than just some generic pose in Jasper's studio," Edward says thoughtfully.
"Hey, there's nothing generic about Jasper's work," Alice snaps possessively.
Edward laughs and wolfs down the last of the lasagna.
"I'll just get my stuff, man. This'll be awesome. Come on, Ali, a little rain will do ya good," Jasper says, winking at her.
Alice scowls at him, clearly not wanting to go out in the rain and get drenched, but he flashes a quirky smile and she visibly melts in front of him. "Alright, but you owe me for this, Jazz." He snickers and pulls her towards the door. They pause for moment and then bolt to his car, while we watch them from living room window. By the time they get all of his equipment and are back to the house, they are both soaked and laughing hysterically.
Edward takes his plate to the kitchen, setting it in the sink. "So, where are we doing this?" he asks Jasper.
"Right In the middle of the street," Jasper says authoritatively. "It'll be really cool with the lighting from the street lamps and the rain coming down on you. You ok with that?"
"Absolutely," Edward says enthusiastically. "Oh, I think we should get Bella in some of the pictures. I mean, if she hadn't asked me, I wouldn't be donating anything."
He smirks at me and I shake my head at him. "Ah, I don't think so," I say definitively.
"Oh, that's an awesome idea!" Alice squeals.
"It was Rose's idea to ask you. If anyone should be in them, it should be her," I argue, knowing its pointless when the entire room clearly wants me to get soaked.
"Well, you're both on the Foundation…we can do a few with both of you. It's for a good cause, Bella. Come on," Jasper encourages.
"I'll do it if you will, Bella," Rose says. "It'll be fun."
"Oh, alright," I grumble. "It's not even worth it to argue with you guys."
Jasper finishes getting his camera ready and then ducks back outside with Edward and Alice. He positions Edward under the glow of the street light directly outside of the living room window and waits while the rain soaks him. Within a few minutes, the droplets are falling off his crazed hair and dripping down to his black t-shirt. The shirt soaks through and clings to his body, outlining the contours of his toned torso.
"Holy fuck," I mutter, unable to tear my eyes away from him.
"Yeah, I heard that," Rose says, joining me as we lean against the couch and watch Jasper work his magic while Alice hangs onto additional lenses for him. Edward doesn't pose…he doesn't have to. He just stands there and issues Jasper a heated smirk while my heart decides to take off into a full on sprint. "That's pretty hot."
"Hey, what am I, chopped liver?" Emmett asks, joining us at the couch.
"Oh, you know you're my only man, Em," Rose says, wrapping her arm around his waist.
"That's right, babe. So, are you really going to go out there and get soaked with them?" he asks eagerly.
"It's for the Foundation, so yeah, I am," Rose says firmly.
"Good thing you both wore white then, huh?" Emmett laughs and I raise an eyebrow at Rose.
"I need to change. This is going to be brutal." I scowl at my choice of outfits tonight. A simple white t-shirt and what Alice called "designer distressed" jeans when we found them a few weeks ago on sale.
Alice whips the door open, soaked to the bone. "All right, you two. Outside now, before I freeze to death," she orders.
"I'm just going to change, Alice," I mutter, trying to escape to my bedroom.
"Like hell you are. Outside!" she barks.
Ok, then.
I summon up my courage, following Rose as she races out into the rain and joins Edward under the light.
"Ok, just stand on either side of him," Jasper instructs. He positions Rose's arm so that it's hanging off Edwards shoulder, and wraps my arm around Edward's waist. "Ok, no fancy fake model wannabe pouts or smiles. Just look at me and give me what you're feeling."
"So, you want me to stick my tongue out at you?" I ask. He laughs and starts snapping pictures rapidly, the rain freezing as it hits my shoulder, soaking my flimsy white t-shirt quickly.
"That's it for me, Jazz!" Rose yells after only a few minutes. She jumps the puddle that has pooled in front of us and sprints back to the house. I laugh and shiver, my nipples hardening further. Edward wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me closer to him, trying to shield me from the rain. Instinctually, my other arm finds its way around his waist.
He lowers his neck, his lips stilling over mine. "Thank you," he whispers, the rain falling from his forehead onto my face.
"Thank you?"
"Yeah, this photo shoot is infinitely better than I ever could have imagined it," he says softly pressing his lips to mine, moving slowly, building until I'm panting, my hands lacing into his hair and edging him closer.
"Ok, that's great, you guys!" Jasper yells, stirring me back to reality. "I think I got some great stuff."
"Come on, let's get dried off," I mutter, pulling on the belt loop of his jeans.
"Do we have to?" he asks, raking his eyes down my body. He bites his lip and shuts his eyes. "You are incredibly enticing, Bella. All wet and wearing white, even."
"Hmm. You're not too bad yourself. But, I'm freezing." He laughs and grabs my hand and we make our way back to the house.
Alice has gotten towels for herself and Jasper, while Emmett is running around outside, jumping in puddles as Rose watches him from the doorway. When he finally makes it inside, she's just shaking her head at him. "You're like a child, Emmett."
"That's why you love me, babe," he says.
She laughs and hands him a towel. "Here, dry off, you nut." He kisses her quickly and then shakes his hair at her before grabbing the towel.
Edward is shivering as Alice drapes a towel over him. "Maybe you should get out of those clothes, Edward. I have your stuff from last night. It hasn't been washed yet, but..." My voice trails while I savour Edward's rain soaked appearance.
"That'll work great," he says, smirking at me and bringing my gawking of him to an unfortunate end .
"Whoa, hold the phone. What happened last night?" Alice asks, raising an eyebrow.
"Edward painted me," I say shyly, stealing her towel from her and wringing my hair out.
"And that required you to get into his clothes?" Alice asks.
"Yeah, it did. The outfit is kind of ruined, I think," Edward admits.
"What?" Her voice raises several octaves.
"Yeah, it had to be done, Alice. I've told her I'll replace what I can. But, it was worth it," Edward states.
"As much as I'd like to hear more about that, I'm soaked and cold, and Jazz owes me a hot bath and a massage," Alice says sharply.
"Oh, my kind of punishment," Emmett chirps. Rose hits him on the shoulder.
"Yeah, we're going to go, too. Thanks for dinner, Bella. Entertaining as always," Rose says.
"Oh wait, Emmett. Don't forget the lasagna." I retrieve it from the kitchen and hand it over to him.
"Thanks, B. You're the best," he says, hugging me tightly.
After seeing them off, Edward excuses himself to the bathroom. I move down to my bedroom and to Edward's clothes from last night that are piled in the middle of the bed.
I knock on the bathroom door tentatively. "Edward? I'll just leave the clothes outside the door, ok?"
The door opens, along with my mouth, while he stands in the muted light of the bathroom, in a towel that is way too small, wrapped around his waist revealing his chiseled chest. My eyes travel down to the defined muscles in his thigh, the soft hair on his legs…his bare feet. And holy fuck… someone is standing at attention under the towel, and wanting a better look. My mouth goes dry, speech evades me.
"I think one of us is entirely too dressed," Edward says, his voice dropping lower. He reaches for my arm and gently tugs me into the bathroom. "I do believe you have a nightly ritual that I need to become more intimately involved with."
My heart races while his fingers graze over the button on my jeans. "Edward," I manage to say.
He silences me, placing two fingers over my mouth. "Let me see if I remember," he whispers. He keeps his eyes locked to mine and slowly undoes the button and the zipper on my jeans. He crouches down in front of me and slowly starts to drag the wet jeans off me. I steady myself, placing my hand on the sink, and slowly lift one leg, and then the prosthetic, and step out of the jeans.
He trails both hands up my prosthetic to my hip and then stands and lifts me over to the tub, setting me down gently on the side. He runs his hand down my thigh, watching it intently, and then raises his head and looks at me…almost like he's asking for permission. I nod my head slowly, grateful that he's not asking me to speak – I don't think I could right now. This is intense. Probably more so than it was the other night…because tonight, I'm sober and I don't need his help with this, but I want it. That and…he's crouching in front of me…in a towel that may as well be nonexistent. I don't dare look down…I'm sure I'll pass out.
He puts a hand on either side of the prosthetic and twists it slightly, pulling gently until it releases into his hands. He looks up at me, a satisfied smile on his face. "I clean it now, right?" he asks quietly.
I nod my head at him and he stands and moves to the vanity, opening it and pulling out the liquid soap and one of the cloths from under the sink. He wets the cloth, applies some soap, and takes his time while I watch his skilled fingers in fascination as he twists and gently rubs the cloth in and around the prosthetic methodically, until he satisfied. "Is that enough?" he asks, finally looking back at me.
I nod my head. "Yeah, that's good," I whisper. The sound of my deep breathing fills the room. He selects a new cloth, rinses it, and then sweeps it in and around the prosthetic. He looks back at me and I smile at him. He picks another cloth and then dries the prosthetic carefully before placing it gently on the rack in the corner. He readjusts the towel around his waist, wets a new cloth, and then stalks back to me.
He crouches down again and begins rubbing the cloth gently over my thigh. "Is this ok?" he asks softly.
Every muscle in my body clenches while he applies only the faintest amount of pressure to my thigh. That this man is willing to do this with me is absolutely mind boggling. "It's perfect," I mumble. "You don't have to…"
"I know. I want to." He continues reverently, almost, his eyes flickering to mine intermittently, the corners of his mouth turned up as he dries my thigh with another cloth. "How did I do?" he asks, standing up and adjusting the towel…again.
"Really good. A solid A, I would say."
"Only an A?" he asks, looking slightly offended.
"You forgot one thing."
"What?" He looks perplexed.
"Lotion," I remind him.
He gets an amused look on his face and moves to the vanity. "Oh well, we couldn't forget that now, could we?" He grabs it from the vanity and brings it back to me, squirting a generous amount onto his hand and rubbing it in gently. "You are so incredibly beautiful, Bella," he murmurs.
"So are you," I whisper. He trails his hand up from my thigh, under my t-shirt, caressing my stomach, his lips skimming along behind. I can no longer contain the emotion, moaning under his touch. He cups my breast and brings his lips to mine.
"I'm sorry. This crosses the boundary, doesn't it?" he asks, stilling his lips on mine.
"What boundary?" I lace my fingers into his damp hair and launch my lips to his. He groans and stands, lifting me with him, his tongue moving slowly at first and then, more urgently. He wraps his hands around my waist, lifting me straight up, carrying me to the bedroom and gently setting me down on the edge of the bed, his lips never leaving mine.
He pulls back and rests his forehead on mine. "Fuck, Bella. You have to stop me," he growls.
"I don't want to stop you, Edward."
His Adam's apple bobs and he opens his eyes to me. "What?" He's practically panting, while his eyes search mine.
I shake my head at him. "I don't want you to stop," I say, my voice barely audible.
"But…I thought…you said…"
"I know what I said. I was scared and..."
"And, you're not scared now?" he asks.
"I'm terrified," I admit.
"Bella, we can't do this if you're terrified."
"I'm only terrified of disappointing you," I admit sadly.
"That's never going to happen, Bella," he says, cupping my face between his hands.
"Never say never, Edward. I'm not as experienced as you."
He lifts me, bringing me up further on the bed and rests my head on the pillow, hovering over me. "How?" he asks.
"How? What?"
"How does this work?" He trails his hand over my thigh and traces the scar, before ghosting his fingers across the top of my boy shorts.
"I don't know," I confess, quivering under him.
"You…don't…know?" He pulls back and looks at me apprehensively.
"I haven't…I mean, not since before…" I stammer, shutting my eyes from the embarrassment.
He traces his fingers down my cheek. "Bella, look at me." I open my eyes to him, afraid to breathe. "Not since before the accident?" he asks tenderly.
"No. I haven't been with anyone since it happened. I'm sorry," I choke out.
"Don't apologize…God, you have nothing to apologize for," he says firmly. "But I want to make sure this is what you want. That you're ready…fuck, that I'm ready. I mean… I'm ready…it's just…" His voice trails and he lowers his mouth to my neck chuckling softly. "I feel like I'm sixteen or something," he says.
I'm actually relieved that he's nervous. God knows I am. "How about we just take this slow? And we don't have to do anything that makes either one of us uncomfortable, Edward. We can figure it out together…like a long, slow journey," I propose.
He's stunned for a moment and then quirks an eyebrow to me. "There's a lot that we can do without…well, without…actually…you know," he stutters.
"Without having sex?" I ask, smirking up at him.
His eyes darken slightly, his face inching closer. "Say that again," he mutters, brushing his nose across my collarbone.
"Say what?"
"Sex," he whispers.
I lean up close to his ear. "Sex," I whimper.
"Jesus Christ, Bella. You make me crazy."
"I do?"
"Can't you feel that?" he asks, flexing his hips forward, his erection hard against me under the towel.
"Yeah, I can feel that," I breathe. "Can I feel more?" I run my hand down his back, tracing where towel sits precariously around his waist.
"Bella," he whispers in warning, closing his eyes, his breathing elevated.
"We have to start the journey somewhere, Edward."
Chapter End Notes
I'll be in a darkened room, with the rain pounding down outside…starting the journey.
Twitter: CarLemon