Hey, I'm back you guys... it's been super hectic at home and university... and then my nan died... *sigh* sorry for the long wait though...

and thanks to my reviewers:

Sapphirewood: thank you for your support... *blushes*

Wolfkeeper989: thanks, I'm so glad you like that.. I like that too... *beam*

well, on with the story!

The next morning we had planned to head down to Hogsmead. I was looking forward to going to the small town and having some time of. Me and my friends soon make our way through the still snow-clad paths that lead into town. We have some shopping to do and I collect a few ingredients I needed for the dreamless-sleep potions that were starting to run out. I gather the things I would need and my friends follow obediently as we sat in the three broomsticks to have a drink. We discuss the last quidditch practice and I know I need to step things up if we were going to stand any chance of finally winning the cup this year. I lean back in my seat content. Things finally seemed to have calmed down, and even though I knew it would not last, I was going to take full advantage of it.

Pansy joined us, practically in my lap... I sigh inwardly. What was this girl's problem? I know we were to marry after school, and I had made peace with that. I didn't believe in love anyway, as the good littly Malfoy I was. Love was for fools, it made one foolish, weak and vulnerable. I also knew she did not love me. We had known each-other practically from birth, and as a child I would come over to her place quit often. It had been one of the few times I was allowed to 'play'. The brunette had even tried to get me to dress up once... She had however not succeded to get me in that dress. I smile inwardly. Things had really changed when we went to Hogwarts. Suddenly she had been all over me... Don't get me wrong, it sure had its advantages... it really did, and I had thought it would be nice... have someone fuss over me for once... The most I had ever gotten before Pansy was a hit, sneer, kick or curse. I hardly ever saw my mother as she had made it perfectly clear that she had never wanted children and that I was nothing more then a major inconvenience. It didn't bother me and I couldn't really blame her. My father had needed an heir, and well, she had had to oblige.

Maybe it was just that. I had never known 'affection' and now that Pansy was clinging to me, I had no idea of how to handle that, and maybe it was just too much of a good thing... who ever knew? My god I'm screwed up aren't I? Well, it wasn't like anybody cared, so why should I? I give Pansy a smile. Its not her fault and I know she is just trying to make the best of it.

Your blond head is the first thing I see at breakfast the next morning and I'm strangly relieved. Today me and my friends would head down to Hogsmead and just have some fun. We had even been able to convince Hermione to stay the whole day by promissing to do some studying tomorrow. I couldn't wait to see the new things that might be at Quality Quidditch supplies and I'm sure Mione would drag us into the bookstore. I however didn't really mind. I had always been rather fond of reading. I had given me something to do when I'd be locked in my cupboard or room. We have breakfast and slowly we make our way to town chatting amiably amongst ourself. This was going to be a nice day. Ron and I soon make our way towards the quidditch shop and Hermione rolled her eyes but smiled anyway as she followed knowing how important the sport was to us. Besides, even though she is hardly ever found on a broom she really is a decent flyer.

We spent a good while looking at brooms and other accessories, then we move to the town's clothing store. Hey, she was a girl after all... Ron and I are now the ones waiting patiently for her to try on a few new things before settling on a new robe, jeans and a sweater. Then during lunch we went to the three broomsticks. You and your friends were there as well, including Parkinson who was once again clinging to you as if to life itself. I did not understand the nature of you relationship. One moment you seem disgusted by her, but the other night you were laying in her lap. I guess you're simply using her when it suits you. I don't know why she puts up with it though, but really, it is none of my business and as our food arives we talk about the upcoming tests and soon we were engrossed in mindless chatter and we had a nice lunch after which Hermione decided to head down to the bookstore. We part ways and Ron and I make our way to the Quidditch shop once again. There were a few things I would want to have a look at again and the bushy haired girl would be in that bookstore for hours if she could. Ron turned to face me "So... you and Malfoy are friends now?" he asked tentative and I sigh shrugged "I honestly don't know..." and it was the truth. Over the years, I had learned Malfoys don't have friends. They had allies, lackeys and acossites, but never friends "But I can't not even try to help him" I sigh and Ron rolled his eyes but eventually nodded in understanding.

"Just be careful Harry" he warned and I nod "I'm a big boy Ron, I can take care of myself" I smile. He nodded "I know, but I just... I don't trust him..." the redhead commented. I couldn't say I blame my friend. You had really hurt his feelings with all your derissive comments on his family and your families had always had rivalry between them. The redhead sighed "You really saw Lucius hit him a whip?" he asked and I nod in affirmation "Yes Ron, that is really what I saw" I sigh. Ron nodded "Shouldn't we tell someone?" he suggested but I shake my head "No" I simply state "He doesn't want anyone to know" I explain "And I really do not want to betray his trust even further then I already have" I respond. Ron shrugged "I'll do it, I don't have any problems betraying Malfoy's trust". I smile slightly shaking my head "Don't" I tell him "Please". Ron simply rolled his eyes "Let's check out the new brooms aggain" he suggested changing the subject none too subtle. I smile nodding "Yeah" I agree and so we cross the short distance to the Quality Quidditch supplies before meeting up with Hermione and heading back to the castle.

I walked into the bookstore and started scanning the new titles. Merlin I loved books. I'm so engrossed in the books that I'm not paying attention to what is going on around me, and I almost bump into somone. "Sorry..." I mumble hardly looking away from the nearby stack. "Really Granger, it is not a crime to look at something else then books" a familiar voice cut through the air and my head snapped up "Malfoy" I breathed. The boy had startled me. He raised an eyebrow as he now bent down to pick up some of the book that had fallen after we collided. I bit my bottom lip "I'm sorry..." I mumbled once again as the blond towered over me. He raised his eyebrow "Yes Granger, I heard you the first time" he smirked straightning back up "I am not deaf you know" I smile shaking my head "Yes, Mafloy, I know". I glance around. The boy's friends weren't there, and I guess they're like Ron and Harry, and wouldn't be caught dead in a bookstore.

"Are... are you alright" I mutter and he heaved a deep sigh appearing to try to control himself. I shook my head slightly. God forbid he should ever loose the slightest control. I had quickly realized that it was all about control with the blond heir. It somehow always came down to that small issue. It just as you had been so afraid when that troll invaded Hogwarts, or when we were all sentenced to detention in the forbidden forest, I think it wasn't that you were a coward, not truly anyway.

You did not hesitate one second to duel Harry in our second year or perform dangerous stunts on your broom. It was just that you felt like you had to have control... always had to have control. I can't even begin to imagine what it must have been like. The blond closed his eyes "Briliant" he huffed leaning against the bookcase casually and it amazed me, that even doing this, he seemed to retain the arrogant, arristocratic air that he alwasy seemed to have. Lucius really had done a great job molding him. He put down the books he'd picked up and I eye him carefully "Malfoy, you can't keep doing this..." I try and reason and he narrowed his eyes "And what Granger, do yo propose I do?" he asked, his voice cold as ice. I raise an eyebrow "You could talk to someone" I suggest and he gave a bitter chuckle "What good will that do?" he questioned and I roll my eyes "Then maybe people can help you" I sigh. I knew that untill he would open up there was nothing anyone could do for him.

I know that she is only trying to help, but I just did not wish to talk about it. I sigh. I know she is right, but I just wasn't really the 'sharing' type of guy. I give her a curt nod "I know..." I mutter under my breath and her look tells me she caught it. I close my eyes for a second before my friends join at my side again. I gave the girl a sneer before pushing past a few other students who quickly got out of my way. I smirk inwardly. If only they knew I weak I really was... I shookmy head slightly as we go outside and decide to head back to the castle. I had to help them with some transfiguration and dada. We move to the common room and I start to explain the work until they understood before my eagel-owl soared through the window landing on the armrest of the chair I was sitting in. It nipped my hand affectionately and I pet the birds feathers absentmindely collecting the note it had been been carying. I slowly open it and the it was immediately clear by the strong, neat handwriting whom it had come from.

I will be meeting you in Hogmead next Thursday and you can inform me about your progress. I also have a few things I have to discuss with you.

LM

It was so typical. Short, to the point. Time was money and my father would be damn to waste either on me, his failure of a son. My friends looked over at me and "What is it Draco" Vince asked and I shake my head "Nothing" I quickly reply. The boy frowned "Uhuh..." he replied unconvinced and I roll my eyes. this really was turning out to be an.. interesting day. And now my father was once again requested I meet him. Just great... I glance over at my friends simply shaking my head "It's fine" I eventually simply answer, and even though they obviously do not believe me, they leave it at that. I lean back in my seat. I know what my father was after. He had probably recieved the results of our latest test scores and he most likely wasn't pleased. I really didn't care anymore. I just couddn't be bothered even though I was not going to let my grades slip.

After diner I made my way into one of the many bathrooms scattered around the castle with my trusty dagger. It had been too long before I had a chance to do this. I press the cold steel against my arm. I make a few cuts before I heard something behind me. I close my eyes and shake my head. This was getting annoying. I wave my hand and everything was clean once more as I slowly turned around.

"Have you finally completely lost you insanity Malfoy?" came the mocking voice. What was suddenly the matter with me? Suddenly I was making mistakes left and right... I let my silver eyes meet a pair of bright blue ones and close my eyes in exhaustion. The redhead frowned. What had he been expecting? That it was some sort of joke? I couldn't blame him really... I had been one hell of a bastard to him. He eyes were still on me and he shook his head "Why on earth would you do this?" he asked his gaze settling on my wrist where the new cuts had dissapeared with the glamour charm that I had almost permenently charmed over myself "It... I....." dear lord, was I actualy stammering infront of a Weasley? I took a deep breath "It just feels good to be in control. To have something real... to just let it all out...". The redhead narrowed his eyes "And your father doesn't hurt you enough?" he asked. I shrugged "I hardly even feel that anymore" I shrug. It was pretty much the truth. I had endured my father's tortures for so long that really it didn't hurt anymore... I had learned to take myself to another place when my father would start his punnishments. I turn to the redhead who still eyed me in disbelieve, and for a moment I think he eyes might bulge out of their sockets. He sighed eventually "Look Malfoy..." he started uncertain "I... I'm sorry about your father...." he stated "No-one deserves that... not even a prat like you..." he added as after thought and I shake my head with a chuckle I could just not suppressed "Thanks Weasley" I smile ever so slightly. He seemed to get uncomfortable "You can leave now Weasley" I smirk and he nodded seemingly relieved as he turned around out of the room, probably in search of another bathroom.

I sat in my dorm, and I couldn't sleep. I decided to listen to the radio I have brought and read some, as I always did. My mind was just racing on how Harry, Ron and I would be able to help the Slytherin ice prince. I really had no experience with this... I really thought it would be best to go to Dumbledore before the blond heir were to wind up dead, but then again, I suppose it wasn't my decision was it? I sigh leaning back on the big four-poster bed. How quickly things could change. Just a few days ago I was totally oblivious and hated the blondes guts, and now I was trying my best help him.

Did you know

Hidden by his clothes there are some scars.

Some are recent,

Some have been there for years

Did you know,

It doesn't even hurt,

It never really hurts, but there are tears

Music fills me and even though I had never heard the song, it reminded me of the Malfoy heir. I had never even imagined you going through that and really, I imagine his body would be littered with old and recent scars. I wonder though. Did it even hurt anymore? Where there still any tears left?

Do you want the real story,

or do you prefer the lie.

Do you want to see him smile,

or maybe see him cry.

Do you want to follow?

or let him go alone

For then, never to know... never to know.

These lyric had me thinking. Did I really want to dig too deep? I don't know. The lie you had build up seems much more comfortable. The idea of you simply being your father's pride and joy and you being the spoilt little boy that got everything he wanted. I cannot begin to think on how much energy that must have taken. I do however want to help him and he wouldn't be alone anymore.

Have you seen the way he acts sometimes.

And when you ask,

he'll say that he's okay.

Have you seen how well he pretends.

Laughs out loud,

before he looks away.

The blond really had his act down. Having fooled everybody for so long. I can hardly believe it, but really you had had us fooled. I do believe though that his friends had some sort of clue that something was wrong. I sigh as the song ends.

Do you want the real story,
or do you prefer the lie
Do you want to see him smile,
or maybe see him cry
Do you want to follow,
or let him go alone.

I leaned back and listen to the radio a bit longer before deciding to try and get some sleep. I was feeling rather downhearted and unsure. Was there even a way to help that troubled boy? I highly doubted it. Even if we succeeded in getting him away from his father, he had still spent 14 years with that man and that was bound to have left some major permanent marks, and I really had no clue how to deal with that. I closed my eyes and went to sleep.

I laid in bed when the redhead entered the dorm. I smile "Hey Ron" I greet but stop at the look on his face and his ashen complexion "Ron? Are you alright?" I quesiton immediately concerned. He sat down on his bed shaking his head "Yes.... I'm fine... I just.... I came across Malfoy tonight" he sighed "I think that boy has really lost it" he sighed "He was cutting himself". I sigh looking at my best friend "I know" I tell my friend "I just wish I knew how to stop him" I sigh. The redhead shrugged "Apart from supervising him 24/7? I don't see how you would be able to" he commented and I know he was right. The boy sighed "I have never been more grateful for mom and dad" he sighed and I nodded. Even I was thankful for the Dursleys. So yeah, they hated me, they had stuffed me in a cupboard, but at least they never physically hurt me...

The redhead sighed "So we are really going to do this huh?" he looked at me. I smile and nodded "Yes, Ron... I have to at least try and help him". He sighed "Very well" he agreed and so we said goodnight.

The next morning was a sunday and even if Hermione made us study untill late in the afternoon she had smiled and called it a day and we headed outside towards the lake. You were already there and staring of into the distance. I glanced over at my friends and they nodded in understanding. It seemed there would be a fourth sitting with us today. We walk over and sit down near you. Your blond head snapped up but you soon relax when you see it's only us.

"Hey Draco" I great and you sighed in resignation "Hello" you return the greeting with a ever so slight smile. "Look Draco... I think it is about time you talked...." I start and you heaved a heavy sigh eying the three of us. "Whatfor? You already know.." you commented and I shook my head "No we don't..." I counter "When was the first time he hit you...?" I question softly and I see you're silver eyes darkning ever so slightly but a sigh excaped your lips before you look away.

thank you all for reading!

hope you liked it...

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