All characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details belong to the author. No copying or reproduction of this work in any language is permitted without the express written authorization of the author. Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. Thank you. August 2010.
Many thanks to my amazing beta xrxdanixrx, who provides the banner, and writes four wonderful stories. Much love, hun!
Twilighted Beta – Shabbyapple. Thank you.
A million thanks to MizzezPattinson who graciously agreed to pre-read this chapter for me. XO BB.
Thanks to all reading and reviewing. Your reviews mean the world.
Oh, lets see what happens next. Come… join me.
BPOV
Chapter 27
I can't think. My body is frozen where I stand. It's like I'm watching in slow motion. The lights from the oncoming car get progressively closer, faster, the squeal of the tires gets infinitely louder, until Edward takes control, lifting me effortlessly, and launching his body to the front of his car. He twists under me and hits the pavement as I fall on top of him.
He lets out a painful sounding groan, and then wraps one arm around my shoulder, the other around my waist, pulling us onto the grass as the car swerves around his, narrowly missing the back end. I'm suddenly flipped over on the grass and he hovers over me, my heart hammering in my chest. I feel the colour drain from my face while Edward keeps a protective stance firmly over my body.
The car slows to a stop as I try to roll away. He's having none of it, his vice grip around my waist keeping me firmly in place under him, clearly where he wants me. I can feel his heart pounding in his chest while he narrows his eyes at the car. I crane my neck in the hopes to see something more than I got the other night. It's pointless, however, as the car peels out of the parking lot and into the darkened night.
His breathing is coming in pants while he watches, making sure the car isn't coming back. He slowly turns his head back to me, his eyes almost black. "Are you alright?" he breathes. "Bella?" He looks down, his eyes clearly focused on my prosthetic. He rolls to the side, sits up, and scans my body.
"It's okay," I manage. "What about you?" I sit up beside him, my whole body trembling while I try to calm down.
"Who gives a fuck about me," he mutters, running his hand down my jeans to the top of my prosthetic and furrowing his brow.
"Edward. You hit your head. Let me see." I sink my hands into his hair. He winces and shuts his eyes.
"I'm fine," he protests while he pulls his jeans back up his thighs.
"We need to get you to a doctor. You might have a concussion or something."
"I don't have a concussion. Is that…was that the same car from the other night?" he asks.
"I don't know. I couldn't really see it," I admit, my breathing starting to return to normal.
"What does your gut tell you?" I just stare back at him, the glow from the overhead light bouncing off his concerned face while I silently answer him. "This is fucked up, Bella. Who the fuck would want to hurt you?" he barks at me. I simply shake my head. While I actually have a few ideas on that, I'm not about to tell him. At least not right now. "We're going to the police."
Two hours and one extremely silent car ride back to my house later, I'm completely exhausted. The night has been a whirlwind of emotions and I'm starting to crash. Edward alternates between shifting gears and rubbing soothing circles on the back of my hand, watching me more than the road.
He pulls up in front of my house and shuts the car off. "You're quiet," he says, leaning back in the seat.
"I'm just trying to process what's happened today. It's all kind of overwhelming," I admit.
He takes a deep breath, turning in his seat towards me. "You have an idea about who this is, don't you?" he accuses.
"I'm not sure."
He rakes both of his hands through his hair. "For fuck's sake, Bella! You can't keep shit like this from me. If you know something, you need to tell me or the police. I mean why–"
"Edward, please." I shut my eyes. "I just want to go to bed and sleep. I'm exhausted and I really don't feel like rehashing everything that's happened tonight," I argue, opening the door and starting for the house.
I hear him slam his door, and then, he's beside me. "I'm sorry. Listen. I know you're upset. So am I. The thought of something happening to you…it's just." He squeezes his eyes shut. "I can't loose you. You're the only thing that's good in my life," he says sincerely.
I look up at him, his expression beyond worried. I feel horrible for stressing him out. "I'm not going anywhere. Well, that's a lie. I'm going to bed." I open the door while he shifts nervously beside me. "Are you coming in? I mean, I know tonight has been crazy and intense, and you probably want a break or something…" My voice trails and he closes the distance between us, cupping my face between his hands.
"I'll stay. As long as you'll have me," he murmurs. Relief washes through me. I can't even imagine being alone right now. While the police have added the incident to my file, there really isn't anything they can do about it, and quite honestly, that doesn't exactly sit well with me.
I wonder what Charlie would have done in this situation. While Edward rubs my shoulders and tells me I'm tense, I contemplate calling Mom to get her opinion on the situation. I push that thought away quickly. She would likely just end up coming over to perform some chants and douse the walls with protection oil.
Twenty minutes later, I'm soaking in lavender scented goodness in a bath that Edward has drawn for me. He's leaning against the doorway, his arms crossed, watching me like a hawk.
"Did you want to join me?" I ask hopefully.
"Can I?"
"I really wish you would."
He smiles and whisks his shirt over his head while I gawk at him, the anticipation spiking between us. He makes quick work of his jeans and his boxers, and then, is at the side of the tub, gingerly sinking in behind me. I chuckle to myself at the complexity of this man. So sure of himself one minute, the next, afraid to ask to join me in a bath he insisted to prepare for me. He places his legs to either side of my body and wraps his arm around my waist, bringing me flush against his chest and sighing.
"Much better," I murmur, letting my head loll back.
"You can say that again," he mumbles. We sit quietly for a few minutes, letting the soothing oils sink in, washing away the events of the evening, and for a few blissful minutes, its just Edward and me The rest of the world ceases to exist, and I am truly content in a place where dark cars can't touch us. I close my eyes and let the feeling take over.
Several minutes later, he's circling my hip bone with his fingers. "Is this weird for you?" I ask, placing my hand over his, running it over my thigh.
"No. Not at all. It's part of who you are. Is it weird for you to have me here?" he asks softly.
"Honestly, a bit," I admit. I feel his body stiffen slightly. "Not in a bad way. It's just that I was starting to think I'd never be able to share this with anyone. I had kind of resigned myself to taking baths alone." I run my fingers down his legs. I feel him relax slightly, the warmth of his body enveloping me.
"You don't have to anymore. You don't have to do anything alone," he whispers, brushing my hair behind my neck and kissing it softly. His hand slowly traces over my breast, down to my navel, his fingers sinking into me. "Tell me how this feels." He spreads his fingers slightly and starts a slow rhythmic pattern.
"Hmmm," I moan. There are no words for what this man makes me feel.
He stills his fingers and lowers his mouth to my shoulder. "That's not exactly an answer," he teases, his lips moving back up to my neck. "I'll tell you what I feel." He buries his nose in my hair and breathes deeply. "Warm, wet, perfection."
"Hmmm," I answer, my breathing hitching as I feel his erection behind me. He presses his hips forward, his fingers moving deeper, faster, my body reacting to every touch while he pushes me closer to release. "Edward…"
"Let me feel it, Bella," he whispers, his fingers skillfully moving. The warmth spreads quickly through me, our breathing ragged, my fingers digging into his thighs. "So good, baby."
His targeted strokes continue, the warmth explodes, pulsating and intense. My head falls back onto his chest, my cries filling the room as he takes me into oblivion. "Warm, wet, perfection," he murmurs, kissing my shoulder while my body tingles as it comes down.
I melt into his chest, completely exhausted and wanting nothing more than to stay in this tub, with this man, for as long as humanly possible. Eventually, the water cools and we're forced to get out. He lifts me from the tub, wrapping me in a towel and carrying me to the bedroom.
He refuses to let me get my pajamas myself; instead, he brings them to me and watches as I pull the t-shirt over my head and shimmy into the sleep shorts. He doesn't seem bothered by the fact that he doesn't have pajamas. Quite honestly, neither am I. I rest my head on his chest and shut my eyes, contentment taking me quickly into sleep.
XXXXXX
The sun streams into the room, dancing across his disheveled hair while he breathes deeply beside me. I run my fingers through his hair and over the little bump at the back of his head, shaking my own on how he could have been really hurt trying to pull his quasi-hero-like move last night. While I trace the planes of his chest, I marvel at just how much my life has changed in such a short period of time. He moans and turns his body to me, his arm flailing out and resting over my hip, the faintest hint of a smile playing across his perfect lips.
"Hmm, Edward? Are you fake-sleeping to try to get closer to me?" I ask, his erection pressing against me.
"Can't hear you…sleeping," he mumbles.
"You talk quite well for being asleep," I tease.
"I'm multi-talented," he says, gently rolling me onto my back and hovering over me.
"Weren't we in this position, not too long ago?"
"I like to have you under me. However I can get it," he says.
"Even if it means almost getting yourself killed?"
"Yes. At least I'd die happy," he murmurs.
"Don't say stuff like that," I scold.
He snickers and kisses my forehead. "I'm kidding. Well, partially. I do like you under me like this. It makes it easy to kiss you here…" he trails his nose down the column of my neck and kisses my collarbone, "and here…" he rolls to the side, yanking my t-shirt down to expose my shoulder, pulling the flesh between his teeth, "oh and let's not forget here." He lifts the hem of my t-shirt, his lips grazing my navel.
"Edward," I semi-warn, although it doesn't sound too convincing, even to me.
"Hmm, can't hear you. I'm sleeping, remember?" He pushes my pajama shorts down and circles his tongue around my hip bone.
"Edward…"
"I know. You have to go to work." He sighs and reluctantly crawls back up beside me, his hand replacing his tongue at my hip. "I'm coming with you."
"Ah, why is that?" I ask.
"I just am," he says solidly.
"You can't protect me twenty-four hours a day. Nothing is going to happen at work," I argue.
He narrows his eyes at me. "I don't like the idea of you going there by yourself," he says.
"I'll be fine. Although, Lauren is just itching to ask you to the auction. Maybe you could make her day?" I tease.
"She wants to ask me to the auction?" he asks, looking slightly horrified.
"Yes. Please don't tell me that's a surprise to you."
"Yeah, actually. I'm not sure why she would-"
"You're kidding me right now, right? She got a taste of you, for lack of a better word, and she wants more," I explain.
His eyes grow wide as he hits me playfully in the shoulder. "I can't believe you just said that!"
"Oh, please. This is me you're talking to. Have you forgotten what I saw?"
His expression changes. "You know that's not me. Not anymore," he says quietly.
I shake my head at him. "I know. I'm sorry. I was just teasing you. She does want to ask you, though."
"The only person I want to take to the auction is you," he says, kissing me lightly.
"Is Edward Cullen asking me out on a date?" I tease.
"Mmm. Seems I am. What have you done to me?" he murmurs, his lips grazing over mine while Vancouver starts to wake up.
XXXXXX
"Morning, Lauren," I say, more chipper than normal as I arrive at the office with Rose's latte. Edward and I compromised on his coming-to-work-we-me insane idea, and instead, he drove me, dropping me off at the front door and watching until I was safely inside. A little over-the-top, but I keep reminding myself that his heart is in the right place.
"Hey, Bella. I called Edward again last night. He's not returning my calls. Have you seen him lately?" she asks, practically pouting at me.
I smirk at her. "Yes. This morning, actually. I woke up with him," I taunt. Her eyes grow wide as saucers, and I leave her to think about that.
The Rose Interrogation lasts longer than normal while I relay last night's events to her. She furrows her eyebrows and listens intently. She's not impressed and considers having Emmett trail along behind me until whatever this is blows over.
"I don't need a security detail, Rose. I'm sure it's just a coincidence," I argue.
"Really? That's one hell of a coincidence, don't you think?" Rose asks pointedly.
I shake her off. "I'm not going to let it run my life. If something else happens, I'll just deal with it," I say dismissively.
She nods her head, knowing that this conversation is over, for now. "Still on for the weekend at Rev?" she asks.
"Yeah. It'll be good for me to get back there. Emmett's right, I can't just expect to get onto skis and go down the mountain again like nothing ever happened."
"Amazing that this was his idea and it's actually a good one," she says sarcastically. "Are you bringing Edward?"
"I haven't asked him yet," I say, getting a visual of Edward and me at the cabin…in the mountains…hmmm.
"But you're going to, right?"
"Yeah, I'm going to," I confirm. We spend the rest of the morning in planning sessions for the auction.
It's after one o'clock when I look up to my doorway and find Mike, waving a brown bag at me. "I assumed you locked yourself in here when we didn't see you for lunch," he says, smiling at me. "Vegetable panini?"
"That would be awesome. Thanks, Mike," I say, motioning for him to sit. "How was your head after the bar?"
"I spent most of the weekend in bed. Guess I'm a light weight when it comes to drinking," he says shyly.
"It was some pretty hard stuff. Don't feel too bad," I say, unwrapping the sandwich.
He laughs nervously and stares at me. Oh no. I recognize that look. He's going to ask me out… again. "So, um, Bella? I was wondering if you had a date… you know, for the auction," he stammers.
"Actually, I do. I'm going with Edward," I say, taking a bite of the sandwich.
"The dick painter?" he asks, furrowing his brow.
"He's actually not a dick. I know it probably seems like he is, but he's not," I say defensively.
"Could have fooled me," he mutters. "Well, save me a dance at least?" He looks at me hopefully.
"I don't dance," I say. He nods and pushes out of the chair. "I'll still see you there, okay?" He looks like he's lost a little puppy or something. "Thanks for the sandwich."
"Anytime," he says, issuing me a half smile and disappearing back down the hallway. I kind of feel bad for Mike. My cell phone buzzes from the corner of my desk, abruptly ending that thought. I smile at the text from Edward.
How are u? –E
Good. Just doing spreadsheets – B
Hmm. Lucky spreadsheets *wink* – E
Behave –B
That is me behaving – E
Are u painting? –B
What else is there? –E
Lots of things I can think of –B
I smirk as I hit send.
Now who needs to behave? Can I see u tonight? I'll bring dinner –E
Sounds good –B
Painting calls X – E
So do spreadsheets –B
Can I spread you on some sheets? –E
I laugh at how ridiculous he is.
Behave –B
Not Tonight X –E
I'll meet you at my house – B
I'll be waiting X– E
I shake my head and continue with the budget. It's close to five before I know it and I've had enough of number crunching. I pack up my laptop and take the stairs, practically running into Lauren, who is looking extremely cozy as she grinds herself up against James outside the door. The scene is eerily similar and I try to push the unwelcome memory of Edward with Lauren away.
James' face turns to mine and he offers me a smug smile, wrapping his arm around Lauren's shoulder. "Bella. How are you?" he asks.
Lauren scowls at me and tries to get herself closer to him. "I'm good, James. What brings you over here?" I ask.
"I came to apologize for the other day. I know that Jane is intense and probably said some things that she shouldn't have, but she does kind of have a point. It's hard to put a limit on creativity, Bella," he says, locking his eyes to mine.
I feel the familiar uneasiness overtakes me that accompanies me anytime I'm in his presence. "I know and I understand that. It's just that your type of creativity isn't going to work with the auction," I say.
"I get that, I guess. Actually, Lauren here has agreed to do some modeling for me since it's so offensive to you," he says sharply.
"James is going to be my date for the auction," Lauren purrs, sliding her hand up his arm, which makes me slightly nauseous, but relieved at the same time.
"That's great. It should be a lot of fun," I say, while James continues to stare at me, his eyes burning. I need to get out of here. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow, Lauren."
She smiles and cocks her head to the side at me while I walk away. I start a steady pace, Lauren's high pitched laughter filling the air behind me as I round the corner and take the short walk home. I'm anxious the whole way, periodically checking over my shoulder while my heart beats faster than it should. I'm pissed off that the stupid incidents with the cars have made me feel this way.
It's just random. It's just random.
No matter how many times I repeat the words in my head, I can't help but feel that it's not.
Relief washes over me when I see Edward's car parked in front of my house. I open the door, assaulted by the sounds of classical music, and the fragrant smell of rice and ginger.
Edward is standing at my stove, scowling and muttering under his breath, completely oblivious to my presence. So, I watch him, the sleeves on his dark blue shirt rolled up to his elbows, his hair in massive disarray and housing paint splatters, his dark jeans, hanging off his hips while he stirs something in a pot. "What's for dinner, dear?" I ask in amusement, leaning against the counter and setting my bags down.
He jerks his head to me and smiles. "Welcome home, baby," he says, leaning across the counter and kissing me hard. "Jasmine rice with ginger and cilantro, steamed vegetables, and warm Naan bread." He returns to the stove, studying the pot closely.
"Sounds amazing," I say.
He furrows his eyebrows. "You could use a new stove, and new pots," he complains.
"Thanks, Tips."
He laughs and removes the pot from the stove. "Wine?" he asks, nodding his head to the bottle of red already open on the counter.
"Are you trying to get me drunk?"
"Wouldn't dream of it," he teases, pouring me a glass.
"Thanks." I take a sip and enjoy how wonderful it tastes. Edward definitely knows wine. "What is this?"
"Artadi Viñas de Gain, 2006. It's a wonderful mix of vanilla and blackberry." He takes a sip and shuts his eyes. "It's a full bodied wine," he says, waggling his eyebrows at me. "What do you think of it?"
"It's good," I say. He laughs and returns to the stove, spooning out the rice into a large bowl.
"How long have you been here?" I ask, looking at the set table.
"Not too long. I'm later than I expected. I got caught up in painting." He carries the rice to the table, moving back to the stove to retrieve another bowl full of steamed vegetables. "It's ready," he says proudly.
"Thank you. You didn't have to do all this." I wrap my arms around his waist. I could get used to coming home to Edward.
"I know I didn't have to. I wanted to," he says, reaching around me and pulling out a chair for me.
The food is incredible, and I tell him that after practically every bite. He shrugs his shoulders as if it's no big deal, and continues to refill my wine glass.
"Hmm. Saturday we're all going to Revelstoke for the weekend. You know, psyching myself up for skiing in the winter. Did you want to join us?" I ask hopefully.
His face falls and he rakes his hands through his hair. "I kind of have something on Saturday night."
"Oh." My heart falls, disappointment washing over me. What "something" could he have?
He senses my mood and reaches across the table to grab my hand. "There's a get together with the curator from the New York Museum of Modern Art that Jane has arranged." The hairs on the back of my neck stand up at the mention of her name. "They're interested in my collection," he says excitedly.
"That's amazing, Edward!"
"I can cancel, I mean, this is going to be a big weekend for you and I-"
"Are you out of your mind? You can't cancel this after you've worked so hard for it. The mountain will always be there. We can go back together another time," I say.
He smiles and starts to natter on about the museum, most of his words merely echoing around me while I take a moment to try to wrap my head around the fact that he's here, in my kitchen and has made this amazing dinner. It's more than anyone has ever done for me before. It's a little overwhelming, the turn my life has taken with this beautiful, misunderstood man.
"What do you think?" he asks, his eyes alight with playfulness.
"Sorry, about what?"
"Were you even listening to a word I just said?"
"Umm- "
"I asked you if you wanted to go New York with me if they decide to show my paintings there," he says.
"You want me to go to New York with you?" I ask skeptically.
"Of course I do. This collection, it's as much yours as it is mine. More so, actually," he says sincerely.
"I've never been to New York," I say quietly.
"Me, either," he says. "It's a date, then."
"Another date, hmm?"
"Seems to be a trend developing," he says, pushing back from the table and collecting the dishes, putting them in the sink.
Edward spends the rest of the night talking about museums, his mom, and how important this would have been to her. He's on a mission to try to finish more of the collection before the weekend. With every word, every uniquely Edward gesture that he makes, I find myself falling further and further. The feelings I've already developed, deepening with each passing moment. And while that is scary as hell, it's also electrifying.
The nightly routine with my leg, once a chore, now is drastically different. Edward's touches are reverent and sensual at the same time. Both of us desperate in our own way to strengthen the growing need for each other. We fall asleep close to midnight, both of us completely exhausted.
XXXXXX
Jake cancels our run in the morning. Apparently he and Leah have had a fight, and he's trying to get himself out of the doghouse. I'm also feeling the loss of Edward today. He's immersed in painting, sending only sporadic, quick texts at random intervals throughout the day. I resist the temptation to go to see him. I'm sure I'd be more of a distraction than anything. Even though seeing him in his element is probably one of the most fascinating and sexually charged experiences I've ever had, I don't want to disturb him.
I do, however, get the pleasure of seeing James with his tongue planted down Lauren's throat when I leave for the day. He offers me a smirk as he wraps his arm around her shoulder while he guides her into the elevator. I take the stairs.
I have to walk home in the rain and am soaked when I get to my door because, in my haste to convince Edward that I can handle walking to work by myself this morning, I've forgotten my umbrella. I'm squeezing the rain out of the ends of my hair with a towel when the unmistakable sound of Alice's voice floats down the hallway to me. "Bella?" Alice sings.
"Hey. I'll be right there." When I emerge from the bathroom, Jasper is firing up his iMac at the table while Alice is standing at my fridge, furrowing her eyebrows as she scans the contents. "Hey, what's up?" I ask.
Alice gives me the once over and scowls. "I forgot my umbrella," I explain.
She gives me an unimpressed nod and then pulls me by the hand to the table. "Wait until you see these pictures!' she gushes. "People are going to flip!"
Jasper smiles at her, still enamored and amused by her exuberance even after five years. It's really amazing to see two people that are meant to be together. "They are pretty hot," he admits. He leans back in the chair while Alice bounces behind him.
"Look!" she screeches.
I tilt my head to the side and feel my face instantly flush at the picture of Edward, completely soaked, his strong arms wrapped around my waist, his head bent, his lips hovering just over mine while the rain falls down in the halo of the streetlight. Holy crap! Jasper keeps clicking through the pictures, each of them equally hot, until he stops at one of Edward by himself, all dark and intense, the rain dripping off his hair. Jasper has photoshopped paint splatters emerging from the raindrops into the background. "We're going to use this for the cover," Alice squeals in excitement.
"They're pretty good," I tease.
"Pretty good? Are you blind?" Alice shouts in protest. "These are amazing!"
"Yeah, they are," I admit. "They're really wonderful, Jasper."
"We wanted to show you before we sent them to editing," Alice says. Jasper clicks through to one of Rose, Edward, and me. "We'll use this one for the article, and a few more of just Edward." I look at the picture of the three of us, Edward and Rose looking like fashion models from some hot Calvin Klein ad, and me, completely out of place.
"Sounds great," I say, trying to sound enthusiastic.
"Oh, is Edward coming on the weekend?" Alice asks.
"No. He can't make it," I say, the disappointment clear in my voice.
She narrows her eyes at me. "What does that mean?" she asks warily.
"Relax. He's meeting with some people from a museum in New York. They're interested in his collection."
"That's amazing!" Alice yells.
"Yeah, he's pretty excited," I agree.
"A museum in New York is a big deal," Jasper says.
"I know his work is good. But a museum in New York! This auction is going to be a massive hit," Alice says, and spends the next hour explaining to us both how.
Once Alice and Jasper have packed up and left, the house feels empty. I check my phone for messages, the last one coming just before I left for the day that simply said:
Can't stop painting. Will call tonight X – E
I glance at the clock. It's already almost nine-thirty and I'm wondering if he's going to actually call. I would hate to interrupt him, so I resist the temptation. I decide to pull out some of the leftovers from last night and heat them in the microwave.
I watch the relatively empty street while I eat at the table alone, hoping he'll pull up soon in a flurry of anxiousness. I'm rinsing my dishes in the sink when a car pulls up in front of the house and switches off its lights. I feel the smile break across my face as I wait for the signs of his crazed hair to peek up from the door of the car.
The door doesn't open.
It's not Edward's car.
My heart starts to race, for a very different reason. I squint my eyes, trying to see into the darkened windows, which is pointless. Holy fuck. I stand frozen at the sink, not wanting to move, my eyes transfixed to the car. So, maybe it's just somebody stopping because of the rain. It is coming down pretty hard. Or, maybe it's just someone waiting for the rain to stop before they go to visit one of my neighbours. That's definitely possible. Or, maybe, Rose is right and I should have Emmett with me.
The panic spikes while the rain continues to pound down. Suddenly, the car's lights come on, and it takes off down the street, another car taking its place in front of the house. Edward gets out of the car, slamming the door shut and running through the rain to the front door.
He knocks and comes in at the same time, scanning the room until he finds me, frozen to the floor at the sink. Concern washes over him. "What's wrong?" he asks, crossing to the kitchen and wrapping his arms around me.
"Nothing. You just scared me," I say, trying to shake off the ridiculous paranoia I've whipped myself into.
"You sure?" he asks, staring down at me.
"Yeah. I missed you today," I say, kissing him deeply, my anxiety morphing quickly to desire, my hands knitting into his hair and pulling him closer to me.
"Hmm," he says, resting his forehead on mine. "I'll stay away longer next time if it means I get a welcome like that."
"Please don't," I say, hoping he doesn't sense the stress in my voice.
He chuckles and kisses me deeply, his hands drifting down to settle in the back pockets of my jeans. He squeezes gently and then lifts me straight up, carrying me down the hallway. "We have a nightly routine to do," he says, smirking at me.
XXXXXX
I am sitting, ensconced in a blue glass gondola, Rose holding my hand in a vice grip while panic starts to overtake me. Emmett sits beside me, his arm wrapped around my shoulder, the only thing keeping me from sinking to the floor, I'm sure.
I had no idea this would be so hard. My heart is hammering in my chest, the inside of the gondola spinning before me as I feel the unmistakable start of a panic attack. I lower my head between my legs, hoping to stop it before it starts.
"We don't have to do this, Bella," Jasper says.
"Yes. We do," I protest, my voice squeaking. Emmett holds me tighter as we climb higher. I can't even appreciate the beauty of the mountain at this time of year. I'm afraid if I look out the windows, I'll pass out.
"Talk to me. Distract me so I think of something else," I say, staring at the floor as it spins faster.
"The magazine comes out on Monday," Alice says quickly. "Wait until you see it, Bella. It's really amazing, isn't it, Jazz?"
"Yeah, it's pretty awesome. Some of my best work, if I do say so myself. Although I think that's mostly because of you, Bella," Jasper says.
"I said talk to me, not lie to me," I say, trying to laugh. My palms start to sweat and I feel my body start to shake.
"B, seriously. We can just stay on here and go back down," Emmett says softly.
"Emmett, I'm doing this. I have to do this," I bark at him, issuing him the death stare.
"Okay," he acquiesces, squeezing my shoulder. He eyes Rose questioningly, the concern evident on both of their faces.
"So, we've already had sex twice today," Rose says. We all burst out laughing while she smirks at me, her eyebrows raised. This is one of the many reasons why I love her so much. Of course, she would find something that would make me laugh at a time like this. She squeezes my hand in reassurance and continues to look out the window while I rest my head on Emmett's massive shoulder.
The gondola slows and then gently stops, rocking back and forth, signaling our arrival at the summit. Alice looks at me and nods her head, opening the door and jumping down with Jasper following right behind her. He starts snapping pictures almost immediately.
The trees in front of the door start to spin. My heart is in my throat as Rose grips my hand forcefully and pulls me gently from my safe haven. I squeeze my eyes shut. "I'm right beside you, alright? We can just stand right here. We don't have to move," Rose says.
"I've got you, B," Emmett says, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. Jasper and Alice's voices become muffled while I squeeze my eyes tighter before opening them. I can do this. I have to do this. I've come so far. I will not let this mountain take one more thing from me.
I open my eyes and look down to the trail that changed my life. It all flashes before me, distinctly and vividly. My breathing comes in gasps as I see myself take the first turn perfectly, and then loose my edge, my arms flailing, trying in vain to keep steady. The binding fails and I feel the impact of my leg while it shatters through my skin. The overwhelming thought I have as a pair of strong arms keeps me from falling...I wish the arms were Edward's.
XXXXXX
"Maybe we shouldn't have come. She's not ready for this," Rose's voice sounds pissed off, and that's never a good thing.
"It's been five years, babe. Bella's a strong woman, and this was her idea," Emmett says. Hmm…Emmett taking on Rose? What the hell? I must be dreaming.
I hear a door shut and rustling noises coming from another room. "Rene said to burn some cleansing oils and give her some mint tea." Alice's voice seems less enthusiastic than normal.
"Fucking insightful, as always," Rose says sarcastically.
I sit up slowly from the couch I'm on, the room spinning slightly. We're in the cabin that we've rented for the weekend. I don't remember how we got here, and I have no idea how long I've been out.
"Oils? You mean like Crisco?" Emmett asks seriously.
"God you're an idiot sometimes," Rose says while Jasper laughs at him.
"What?" Emmett asks.
"She means like Jasmine or something. I'll check in the bathroom. Maybe there's something in there," Alice says.
"Sorry, guys," I manage. My throat is dry and cottony. I really need a drink of water.
"Don't be sorry, B. How are you feeling?" Emmett asks, sitting down beside me and pulling me into his chest.
"I'm alright. How long was I out?" I ask.
"A while. You didn't hit your head or anything. I think you were just overwhelmed," Jasper says, sinking down to the chair beside me.
"Yeah, Rene says it's the body's self preservation mechanism...that, and something about your spirit guide. She asked if you brought the crystals she gave you," Alice says.
I roll my eyes. "Yeah, those are right beside my dream catcher and my rain stick," I say.
Emmett laughs and nudges me in the shoulder. "We can come back another time," he offers.
"What? No. I want to go back up," I complain.
They all exchange worried glances. "Well, the gondola is actually closed for the day, so it'll have to be tomorrow, anyway," Rose states.
I'm not entirely sure I believe her, but I also know it's probably a good thing if we wait a day to try this again. "Okay. But we're going tomorrow," I vow determinedly.
Rose nods her head and sits beside me. "Do you want something to drink or eat?" she asks.
"Yeah, some water, then we'll break out the hard stuff," I propose.
"That's my girl," Rose says, smiling at me.
The next several hours are spent with the buffet of food and drink that are required anytime Emmett is around. We play the usual Drunktionary, which, essentially, is just Pictionary with a shot being taken every time you don't guess the picture correctly. When you have Emmett on your team, that's a lot of shots, and thankfully, I'm not on his team.
I'm feeling a little buzzed by the end of the night, but manage the nightly prosthetic routine without incident. I wish Edward was here. I miss him… a lot. This doesn't seem the same without him. I hop to the bed and tuck under the sheets, painfully aware that instead of a deliciously warm body beside me, I have nothing.
I wake in the middle of the night with my heart racing. I open my eyes and stare blankly out the window into the darkened night. My breathing is coming in gasps and I fear another panic attack. I sit up and take a sharp breath in at the dark figure standing in the doorway.
Chapter End Notes:
Hmmm, ideas?
Up next, EPOV
Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Twitter: CarLemon