The Balance of Life
Part One - Discovery
Chapter 4 - Part 7--- NewHome
Jake wasn't sure how long they had been huddled under the arch out of the driving rain. Without a watch ten minutes could seem like an hour. Especially when you were just sitting there with nothing to do but stare off into the storm. With the exception of the sporadic bursts of lightning they sat in pitch black darkness. Neytiri hadn't uttered a single word since he sat down. Nor had she offered to share the skin she was wrapped up in. From the illumination given off by the lightning Jake could see that Ell'a'u's head was resting against Tey'bar's shoulder. Both seemed to be sleeping as he hadn't heard a peep from either of them. The only sign of Ralu was a bump under the skin she and Mo'at were sharing. Jake knew that Mo'at was awake as she had been looking out into the storm when the light from the lightning penetrated their shelter. In the harsh bluish light she looked very tired and very old.
"Don't you think you're being just a bit childish?" Jake asked after what seemed like hours of total silence from Neytiri. He didn't mind someone having a good pout, but enough was enough. "I was only thinking of your safety. To be mad at me for that is just stupid."
"Don't call me stupid!" Neytiri hissed as she wrapped the skin tighter.
"I didn't call you stupid. I said being mad was stupid. Besides you called me stupid plenty of times. I seem to recall the term moron being used quite freely."
"You were stupid when I first met you."
"Actually I think the word you used was ignorant."
"What's the difference?"
"Quite a lot actually. I was ignorant of the ways of the forest, of Eywa. But I wasn't stupid, and neither are you." Reckless and sometimes foolhardy came to Jake's mind but he didn't think mentioning them at the moment was the best course of action.
"But you said—"
"I said being mad at me for not wanting any harm to come to you is stupid. The same would be true if I was mad at you for trying to protect me."
"Neytiri, look at me please?" Jake asked when she didn't come back at him.
"I love you. How would I manage to live out the rest of my life without my mate if she got herself killed by a bolt of lightning? Ralu has already lost one mother; she doesn't need to lose two."
"That's not fair." Neytiri's voice caught in her throat as she thought of the young girl who already owned a large part of her heart.
"No, maybe it's not. But it is something we both have to keep in mind. We're not just dependent on each other. We have a young girl who needs and depends on us."
"Yes, you are right."
Reluctantly Neytiri held out the skin she was hording so that Jake could share it with her. The instant his skin brushed up against hers she let out a small squeal.
"How can you be so cold so fast?" Her anger forgotten she began to rub some warmth into his body.
"That's easy when you're the one sitting closest to the rain and wind without any protection."
"Jake…I love you too. I'm sorry that I did not share the skin with you. I was angry with you for…"
"You were angry with me because I told you no, or at least that's what I implied. You just don't like to be told no."
When Mo'at snorted Jake felt Neytiri stiffen. He knew she was going to get testy so he distracted her by brushing his lips softly over hers. At first he felt her resist but after several more soft brushes on her cheeks and forehead he felt her yield as she relaxed and leaned into him.
"See. Isn't this better than being mad?"
"Yes, much better. You are right. I don't like to be told what I can or can't do. I never have."
"Ever since I was wounded doctors have been telling me what I could and couldn't do. I hated that. It's one of the reasons that I'm here on Pandora. No one was going to tell me that I couldn't take Tommy's place because I was a cripple."
"Tommy? Who's Tommy?" Neytiri had never heard Jake mention the name before. Perhaps he had and she hadn't been paying attention. Since there had been sorrow as well as anger in his last statement she knew there something he was not telling her.
"Will you tell me?" Neytiri asked when Jake remained silent.
"Tommy was my brother," Jake began; his heart and voice heavy with the memory of what he had lost. "Tommy was the one who was supposed to come here. This body was created for him, not me. He was a scientist like Grace and Norm. All the avatar drivers were brainy types—"
"What does 'bra'nee' mean?"
"People who are very smart. People that know a lot about science, about things that I never learned, never wanted to learn."
"You are smart. You learned our ways better than all the other avatars." Neytiri wasn't sure where this self-doubt she felt was coming from. One thing Jake had always been was sure of himself, at least that's what he seemed to be. He had never shied away from any of the challenges she had thrown at him.
"Learning the ways of the Na'vi was about opening your eyes to what was around you. Feeling the forest, the people, and the harmony between them. Grace and the other scientist also wanted to understand how and why it all worked. It's hard to explain the concept of science and I'm not sure it would be a good idea even if I could. Humans are much more curious about what goes on around them, and why. They don't just accept."
"Anyway, I was talking about Tommy. He was killed a short time before he was to leave for Pandora. Because he and I were identical twins I could drive his avatar. So the RDA asked me if I wanted to take his place. I was feed up with the life I was living so I thought sure, why the hell not. Pandora couldn't be any worse than what I had now. So I took the offer and here I am."
"You loved your brother very much." Neytiri waited until Jake seemed to have run out of words.
"I suppose I did. We weren't all that close but we were the only family we had."
"You said you were identical twins. What does that mean?"
"We were both born at the same time, or one right after the other. Our mother carried both of us inside her at the same time. We looked alike but we had different personalities. Don't Na'vi mothers ever have two babies at the same time?"
"No. I have never heard of such a thing. I'm sure I would have if it had ever happened. Does this happen often to humans?"
"No. It's rare but it does happen enough. Remember there are a lot of humans on Earth so there are many twins. Sometimes even triplets."
"I cannot even begin to imagine how a woman could carry two babies inside of her. We get big enough with just one."
"Twins are usual smaller that a single baby while they are inside their mother. But still it's a lot for the mother to carry."
"I'm not sure how we got side tracked into talking about my brother or twins when we were talking about the fact the neither of us like the idea of being told what we can't do."
"You were trying to tell me that you understood what I was feeling, why I acted as I did. I'm sorry that I took my anger out on you. Please forgive me."
"There is nothing to forgive. Neytiri, you are one of the bravest, most caring people I have ever met. That and your loyalty to your people are just some of the reasons that I fell in love with you. You opened up your world, a whole new world for me. At first when you were teaching me to become Omatikaya you were a little scary. I knew that you were testing me, pushing me, teasing me. I have always liked challenges, and you were all of that. Somewhere along the way you snuck into my heart. That's when the Na'vi world became real for me. My human existence was the dream. Your willingness to follow your heart's desire inspired me and gave me a reason to really live, not just exist as I had been since I lost the use of my legs. I owe you more than I will ever be able to repay."
"You owe me nothing. You have given my life new meaning as well."
"What was that all about?" Karen asked after Gary had abruptly left the room in the middle of the discussion about nanobots and their significance.
"You got me," Buck answered. "He sure seemed to be upset about something."
"The whole situation is upsetting," Ron volunteered. "If the RDA has its way Pandora will become just another Earth. Overpopulated, abused and dying."
"Ron, you're just being melodramatic," Susan added. "Even if the RDA is considering establishing a human colony here on Pandora it will take millennia to get enough humans here from Earth to threaten Pandora's eco system. And frankly, from what Earth was like when I left, I don't think the human race is going to survive long enough to be a threat here. It is possible that many people in high places realize this fact and want to establish a colony here so that the human race doesn't go the way of the dinosaur. A fate that we brought on ourselves."
"You may be right about the human race becoming extinct," Kyle responded. "If I remember right the projections for total eco system collapse was less than a century away. Even though the politicians keep disputing the validity of the projections, the conclusions are inevitable. The human race on Earth is doomed. Nothing will save it know. Even if you killed ninety-nine percent of the population the natural resources are depleted and may never return. Without humans Earth might recover in a few million years. By that time the sun will be ready to burn out or some interstellar object will have collided with the Earth and finished what's left of the dying world."
"Jesus! What did Roger put in this food?" Rocky asked. "Whatever it was he should just keep doing it. Now you all sound like me."
"Oh, shut up, Rocky!" Judy said as she threw a disgusting look his way.
"I'm afraid that Kyle is right," Abby began. "We all know the facts. Earth is dying and there is no stopping the process. In a sense that's why we are all here. It's why we chose to stay. At least that's why I chose to stay."
"It's why I stayed," Zoe offered. "Nothing to go back for."
"I think that applies to all of us to one degree or another," Max added. "For some of us the avatar program has been our life's work. To go back would be to abandon that."
"Ever since I was a kid I wanted to come to Pandora," Norm began. "The pictures of the rain forests, the Hallelujah Mountains, and most of all the Na'vi people, caught my imagination. This is the only place I have ever dreamed about wanting to be. When I got the chance to join the avatar program it was if all my dreams had come true. The only way I will ever leave this place is in a body bag. Which means I'll never leave and I wouldn't have it any other way?"
"It's sort of the same with me," Karen added, regret sneaking into the back of her mind for not wanting Norm to link with his avatar. Something he so obviously loved. "When I joined the avatar program as a technician I was thrilled beyond belief. To leave Earth wasn't a hardship. It was a little scary. Especially the thought of being in cryo-sleep for almost six years. Even if our lives end up being shorter, they will be richer by far than they would ever have been on Earth."
"Max, do you think there is any chance that these nanobots will work?" Buck asked. There weren't many obstacles humans couldn't overcome. Even living in an environment where just breathing the air would kill you. If these nanobots could make it possible to be outside without an exopack then maybe humans could thrive here on Pandora.
"We won't know for sure until we can revive the clone and see how well it does." Max answered.
"What are the chances of reviving it?" Judy asked.
"Pretty good actually," Max answered. "My more immediate concern is what affect the mind altering drugs has had, and why was the clone given them in the first place."
"Any idea from the types of drugs?" Karen asked.
"Not totally. Several of the drugs were once used to enhance psychic abilities. Telepathy, that sort of thing. I have more research to do before I can give you any better ideas as to the consequences."
"Interesting," Norm speculated. "Almost all living things on Pandora have a way of communicating with each other, or Eywa, though their queues or roots. The RDA knew that Pandora is one big neural network, or at least its scientists did. Maybe this is an attempt to allow humans to do the same without a direct link into their brain stems."
"Now that is truly farfetched," Rocky added.
"Is it?" Norm answered. "It's going to be very interesting to see just what the clone is capable of."
Author's Note:
Enjoy.