The Balance of Life
Part One - Discovery
Chapter 4 - Part 8--- NewHome
"Do you know what I miss the most?" Jake asked after another indeterminable period of time had passed.
"No. What?" Neytiri answered; her voice thick from sleep as she tried to snuggle closer to him.
"My military issue watch. It could keep track of time in any zone around the world. I could use it in absolute dark. It recorded elapsed time. I would never have expected to miss something as trivial as being able to glance at my wrist and know what time it is."
"It's night time now." Neytiri mumbled incoherently.
"Yes, I know that. What I don't know is how long until the daylight returns."
"When the sun rises daylight will return. It has done so ever since I was a little girl."
By the tone of her voice Jake knew that she was teasing him. This was an old argument that had started shortly after Neytiri began training Jake in the ways of the Omatikaya. He had always wanted to know when, how long. She had always replied when the time was right, when he was ready. Neither gave an inch towards compromise.
"Try to sleep. The night will pass more quickly. Daybreak will be here soon enough."
"I can't sleep. My mind keeps replaying everything that has happened since the day began. Besides that, we're in the middle of a terrible storm that doesn't show any signs of easing off. I'm guessing that we have had almost a foot of rainfall. That kind of downpour leads to flash flooding. Someone needs to be awake to sound the alarm if we suddenly find ourselves in the middle of a damn lake."
"Try not to worry so much. Eywa will not drown all of us."
"Right about now, Eywa is probably drowning herself. That bowl the Mother Tree sits in is probably filled with water. I'll bet the only the top of the tree is above water. I sure hope none of our people took refuge anywhere near the Well of Souls."
"Jake, why are you so edgy? Did the Sky People tell you something that you are keeping from me?"
"No they didn't tell me anything that you don't know. My nerves are just a bit over stimulated. I can't remember the last time we laughed. I keep waiting for something awful to happen again. Even though I know that's being stupid—see, now I'm calling myself stupid—I can't seem to stop worrying."
"If we were alone I could probably distract you from your worries," Neytiri whispered in his ear. After which she proceeded to nibble playfully on the side of his neck as her hands roamed freely over his body.
When a low groan escaped from Jake's throat Neytiri continued to whisper in a voice that only he could hear. "See. Now you're not worried as much as you used to be."
"Stop. You're killing me."
With great difficulty and a great deal of mental effort, Jake unwound himself from Neytiri's over stimulating embrace. Damn, she really knew how to use her hands, Jake thought to himself as he made his way to the edge of the shelter. It was becoming obvious that she could be one hell of a tease. One thing for sure, he wasn't cold any more. Sticking his hand out into the rain he was glad that the rain wasn't cold. He was quite certain that some of his people weren't as dry as he was.
"If you worry about everything you will miss the most important things that need to be worried over," Neytiri said as she came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her cheek on his back.
"I've never been responsible for so many people before. I honestly don't know how to handle it. In battle you know that people around you are going to die, it can't be prevented. But now, I feel as if I should be able to prevent anyone from dying. And if they do, as they did today, I feel that I have failed our people. That's not an easy load to carry."
"You don't have to carry it by yourself. Mates share their burdens. I am more than willing to share yours. In fact, you would hurt me if you do not allow me to. I would feel that you think me unworthy."
"Oh that's just bull-shit, Neytiri and you know it," Jake began furiously after he turned around so that they were face to face. "The day I think you're unworthy of anything is the day they server snow-cones in hell. I know that you would carry all my burdens if I asked, or if I couldn't carry them myself. You don't need to make me feel guilty. I'm more than willing to share them with you. In fact I don't see any way round it. Neither of us is going to be able to look after all our people alone."
"What is this snow kone?" Neytiri asked, her eyes dancing with amusement and laughter.
"It's something you will never get to see unless we take a very long trip to the top or bottom of Pandora. And before you ask where the top or bottom is located, you have succeeded in distracting me from worrying myself to death."
"This is good. I would not like to see you die from worry. You are practically brand new. I plan to get years and years of use out of you."
"I plan to get years and years of use out of you too. Now that the lightning has passed why don't we step out into the rain and wash the mud off each other."
"Yes, why don't we," Neytiri replied as she took Jake's hand and pulled them both into the pouring rain.
"Listen to that wind howl," Kyle commented as the volume began to climb steadily.
Conversation died as everyone stopped to listen to the storm raging outside the complex. Since Gary had left the mess hall the sound created by the wind had risen to the point where it seemed the roof would come off any minute. Thunder, both rolling and sharp was virtually continuous. Several times the ceiling lights had flickered briefly. Zoe was just as concerned for Gary as she was about the storm that surrounded them. She had seen sorrow as well as anger in his eyes when he left the room earlier. Guessing that he needed some time to himself she had refrained from going after him immediately. Whether it was nerves caused by the storm or just her concern for Gary, she needed to get up and do something.
"I'm going to go and check on Gary," Zoe announced as she stood and stretched the muscles in her legs that had tighten up from sitting, and from the tension.
"If there's anything new on the storm just give us a shout," Buck began. "Since I doubt we will be getting any sleep tonight we'll be right here. Cards anyone?"
During the short climb to the Ops Center Zoe wondered how to broach the subject of what was bothering Gary. Not coming up with anything brilliant she decided to play it by ear. She found him exactly where she had expected to find him, at the main command console. When she walked up behind him and laid her hands on his shoulders he jumped.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."
"The way the wind is howling I doubt I'd have heard an elephant come up behind me. Jesus, this is one tough bitch of a storm. The winds are gusting in excess of one fifty. We better hope they don't get too much higher or we will be in for some serious damage."
Mixed in with the general concern for their wellbeing, Zoe could hear the sadness in Gary's voice. "Can you tell me what's bothering you, or would you rather I just pretend that you're not hurting?"
"It's a long story. It's also a very old story that doesn't really matter anymore."
"If it didn't matter you wouldn't be sad. Since it appears that the storm is going to last for several days that should be enough time for you to tell me about it."
When Gary swiveled around so that he was facing her Zoe felt both the need to comfort and the need to be comforted. Going on pure instinct she settled herself in his lap and rested her head against his chest. When his arms came around her—hesitantly at first, then more firmly—she knew she made the right decision.
"Back on Earth I had…a sister," Gary began, his voice hitching briefly. "We both suffered from a genetically transmitted blood condition that was very rare and always fatal. Usually victims didn't live much past twenty-five. Heather and I were quickly approaching that age when someone came to us offering a possible cure. What we quickly learned was that the cure involved an experimental drug that was not approved. As our disease was very rare there were not a lot of test subjects. Since our parents had died in an air crash several years before we decided to take the drug. We figured we didn't have all that much to lose. Are you sure you what to hear this?"
"Yes I do. I want to get to know you better. Our past is a large part of who we are. So yes, please continue."
"Where was I? Oh yes. As it turned out the people behind the experimental drug were from the RDA. The drug was created from several plants brought back from Pandora. Bringing living organisms back to Earth was illegal at the time. In essence our blood carried too much carbon dioxide which the lungs could not purge—something to do with the biochemistry of the various cells in our blood. The process was simple enough. We were given the drug intravenously over the course of ten days while they monitored our blood gases. At first we were pretty sick as there were some nasty side effects, much like those from cancer treatments. But after five days we began to feel almost normal again. On the eight day Heather had a sever stroke and went into a comma. She died a week later, never having regained consciousness. An autopsy revealed that she had dozens of small aneurisms in her brain. She was doomed right from the start."
"Obviously the cure worked for you," Zoe said when she raised her head so that she could look up into Gary's face. "And when something comes along and reminds you of what happened you feel guilty about surviving while your sister died."
"Yes, something like that. We were very close because we only had each other. With the very real prospect of not seeing our twenty-fifth birthday neither of us had ever tried to find someone special to be part of our lives."
"So how did you end up here on Pandora?"
"The RDA offered to train me as a systems specialist and send me to Pandora. They said it was the least they could do to compensate me for my loss. I used to think the real reason was that they wanted to get me off Earth, but lately I've begun to suspect that they wanted to study me more closely. What better place than here where there is no place to go."
"I suppose that make sense. If they just wanted to get rid of the evidence of their illegal drug testing they could have disposed of you."
"I wouldn't have been the first person to die from an unfortunate accident."
"True. Sad but true. So, in all the time you have been here on Pandora have you ever tried to find that special someone?"
"Not really. I knew that the RDA was never going to let me leave, so it didn't feel right getting into a relationship that would end in a few years."
"You are a very good looking man. Surely you must have attracted quite a number of females of the years. None of them every struck your fancy?" Zoe was smiling a bright twinkle in her eyes as she watched a quick smirk cross his face.
"Well…there were a couple of times. Nothing that lasted very long as that's the way all parties wanted it at the time."
"Gary, I'm really a novice at relationships so I'll just come right out and say that I'm interested in a relationship with you. If you feel the same…well we'll just have to see where that leads us."
"Yes, I'm interested. I'm very much interested."
Giving Zoe plenty of time to say 'no' Gary carefully framed her face in his large hands and bushed his lips gently against hers.
Neytiri sure knew how to make washing in the rain a memorable experience Jake mused as they slipped back into the protection of the shelter. From the look in her eyes he was sure she enjoyed the experience as much as he did. On a strictly hygienic level it did feel good to have most of the mud washed off. His feet were still pretty well caked in mud but that was an everyday occurrence.
"Did you sleep?" Neytiri asked her mother when she and Jake sat down beside Mo'at.
"Yes, for a little while. I can still hear the rain. It sounds like it has slowed."
"Some, but it's still heavier than normal. Has Ralu sleep the whole time?"
"Yes, but I think she has had some disturbing dreams. Several times she has whimpered in her sleep. Having the gift of sight in not always easy."
"Knowing more than her six years of age is also a burden for her," Neytiri began. "Sometimes it seems as if she is a very old and wise woman in a child's body. Does this come from her gift?"
"Not a lot is known about her gift. In many cases the gift fades as the child grows older. Only a few adults have been known to possess the gift of sight. I do not know the source of her advanced wisdom. Possibly Eywa has passed this wisdom on to her during the times she was bonded with Eywa. Normally children this young do not bond as their minds absorb everything around them. Bonding with Eywa at such a young age could be very traumatic."
"I don't get the impression she is frightened by her gift, just by some of the things that she sees. This brings me to something that I want to discuss with you. When we went to see a possible new home for our people, Ralu had a vision, no a feeling that something bad had happened there a long time ago. She couldn't be more specific. All she got was a feeling. After searching I did find evidence that the tree we were in was once used as a home. It is a beautiful place with six trees along a riverbank surrounded by forest. I didn't sense any danger when we were there, but we could only stay a short time. When the storm is past I would like to go back. I want you to go with us. Maybe between you and Ralu you can get a better idea of what caused the feeling she picked up on."
"How far away is this place?"
"It would take a day to reach it on foot."
"With the Sky People's flying machine we could travel both ways and still have most of the day to explore the trees and surrounding forest?"
"Yes, that is true. But we can go on foot if you would be more comfortable."
"It is not matter of comfort, but of time. We need to find a home as quickly as possible for our people. If this place is not going to be suitable we should dismiss it as soon as possible. I am not afraid to travel in Sky People's machine."
"I know you're not afraid. I was thinking about some of our people's hatred of all things connected to the Sky People. I wasn't sure if you wanted to ask the Sky People to help for that reason."
"Finding a new home quickly is more important than the anger it might cause by asking the Sky People for help. Those who are angry or blinded by hatred will not be more so if we accept the remaining Sky People's help."
"This is true," Neytiri responded thoughtfully.
"Jake, the Sky People will come back if we ask?"
"You know they will, any time or any place. They all stayed here on Pandora so that they could do whatever they could to repay the Na'vi for what was done to them. All we have to do is ask and they will be here. Besides, after all this rain traveling on foot is going to be difficult. The rivers are sure to be flooded. Some areas may be totally inaccessible."
"Yes, you are right," Neytiri replied. "We should send those that still have ikran's as well. The more of our people who see this place with their own eyes the better. If we decide this is our new home they will help to convince those who did not get to see it for themselves."
"Sounds like we have a plan," Jake added. "Always a good thing to have. Now if this storm would just hurry and blow itself out we could get started."
"After the storm passes we will have to see to our people first. Make sure they have food. We are all going to hungry if the storm lasts several days."
"You're right. I should have thought of that," Jake answered, feeling foolish for having forgotten about the needs of others.
"Together we will try to think of everything that needs to be done. That is as it should be."
Author's Note:
Enjoy.