The Balance of Life
Part One - Discovery
Chapter 4 - Part 16--- NewHome
When Neytiri closed the inner door of the air lock and turned to see Jake looking at her, a smile lit her whole face, even her eyes were smiling. If it had been dark enough, her bioluminescent spots would have been ablaze with joy at the look in her mate's eyes. A few hours of sleep had done wonders for Jake's appearance. The exhausted, totally helpless look had been replaced by his normal 'life is great' expression that usually graced his face.
"I see you," Jake intoned, his voice strong, but gentle, welcoming for the woman that he loved.
"I see you," Neytiri replied as she quickly when to him. Bending down she kissed his lips firmly. When she went to pull back, Jake's hand cupped the back of her neck to stretch out the kiss so that they were both beginning to want more.
"You look like you have rested some yourself," Jake said as he carefully looked over her face. "Something is bothering you though. I can see it in your eyes. Has something else happened?"
"No, nothing else has happened that I have heard of."
"Where's Ralu? I thought you were going to bring her with you." Neytiri picked up the disappointment in his voice and quickly tried to reassure him.
"She is outside playing basket ball, with Norm—"
"Norm's playing basketball? That's good to hear." Jake's instant excitement over Norm's improvement seemed to push his disappointment that she had brought Ralu aside.
"Yes it is. Ralu and Gary helped Norm past the worst of his grief so that he could deal with what was left."
"I'm sure he will have more than enough to deal with for a long time. I know I would if anything happened to you."
"I feel the same. Gary—he is very nice, very caring—he sees a special bond between Ralu and Norm…Norm's avatar. When you see the two of them together, like we did this morning, it is easy to see as well."
"I noticed it the night Norm was stabbed," Jake added. "For Ralu it was more that tending to someone who was wounded and needed care. At first I was afraid that Ralu might get too emotional to be able to tend to Norm, but she did just great. She was able to keep Norm calm, not always an easy thing to do."
"Yes, I noticed this too."
"Norm being awake and dealing is a good thing. But that's not what put the look of concern, disappointment in your eyes. Please tell me what's bothering you." Jake knew that it was not a good sign when Neytiri had that brooding look. She was always better once she got what was bothering her out in the open.
"I was taking with Karen earlier this morning," Neytiri began, her words coming rapidly, as she tried to say what she had been thinking and why, afraid that she would sound like a whiner. "I asked if she wanted to have children of her own someday. She told me that all humans sent here cannot have children. She did not tell me the same was true for avatars. When I was talking to Gary about Ralu's gift of foresight, I told him that Ralu had a vision of me with a baby, my baby. When I said this, I could tell from his face that something was not right. That is when he told me that avatars cannot have children as well. While he was telling me this, and why it should be that way, I began to wonder why you had never told me. At first, I was hurt that you did not tell me about it. When I said you had not mentioned it, he explained about you taking your brothers place and not knowing until Grace told you, which was after we had become life mates."
"Neytiri, I don't think you have ever said so many words without stopping in all the time that I have known you." Jake was amused by the fact that she was out of breath, but he realized that was partially due to the anguish she was feeling.
"Gary is correct when he told you that I did not know my avatar was sterile until after we had mated before Eywa," Jake continued. "Grace was shot while we were escaping from Hell's Gate shortly after she told me. After that I never really thought about until the first night we spent together after I passed through the Eye of Eywa. It was then that I realized that I had to tell you. Truthfully, I did not know how I was going to do that. Before we had another chance to be alone the earthquake and storm shoved us into another disaster. Add in getting shot with an arrow this morning, there really hasn't been a good time to bring it up."
"This I know. I am not upset with you." Jake was alive when he just as easily could have been dead. At the moment that was what she was most grateful for. Compared to that, not being able to have children of her own didn't seem very import. After all, there were many Omatikaya children without parents that needed to be loved and cared for. But still there as an ache inside her heart for the loss that might never come to be.
"Gary also told me," she went on, "that Max could remove the thing inside you that prevents us from having children of our own, but he said there were serious risks that we needed to consider. If it were not for Ralu's vision I would be mostly content to leave this be as Gary seemed genuinely concerned."
"You never told me about Ralu's vision," Jake said, wondering why she hadn't mentioned it before.
"She told me the morning the ground shook and the arches fell down. There was never a time after that to bring it up. We were always with other people. It was something I wanted to discuss alone."
"Our lives have been more than a bit busy lately," Jake added. "I sure could use some good old fashion boredom for a while."
"Yes, that would be nice." Neytiri readily agreed. Her desire to wrap Jake in her arms, feel his strong arms surround her, was so great it made her belly ache and burn.
"What were the risks that Gary spoke of?" Jake asked, as he knew Neytiri well enough to know she wasn't finished thinking about this.
She relayed everything Gary had said to her as best she could remember. Some of it she didn't understand, but her excellent memory allowed her to pass Gary's concerns on to Jake.
"That's a tough decision to make," Jake said slowly as he tried to absorb Gary's concerns and weigh the risks to Neytiri, and any potential unborn children. "I think we need to have Max give us more information before we can decide, unless we just go with Ralu's vision as what is going to happen. Since it looks as if I'll be here for a couple of days we don't have to decide right this minute."
"It would not hurt to listen to what Max has to say. I would like to understand better what might happen and why. As Gary seemed to be concerned, I think it best to know why."
"Later tonight, we can ask Max about this. See what he thinks."
"Yes, that would be good."
"Would you go fetch Ralu? I am really starting to miss her."
"Yes I will do that. I'm sure she is missing you too."
"From the sounds I was hearing it appeared as if you two were having a good time," Gay said to Ralu and Norm when they came back to the avatar hut.
"Yes we were," Ralu answered, her face slightly pink from exertion. "I hope we will have a chance to play more basket ball."
"Tomorrow, if it's not raining," Norm promised. "It will be dark soon; we need to get inside before it does."
"I just finished talking with Max," Gary began. "Since the other avatars are away and we are so short-handed, Max and I decided it would be best if everyone stayed inside the complex tonight. Neytiri can use the other avatar gurney while Ralu uses one of the human gurneys. Norm, Ron is setting up a temporary cot in the prep room for your avatar. We just felt it would be safer and easier all around if we stayed together."
"Makes sense to me," Norm added.
On the way back from the court thoughts of Karen had invaded his mind without warning. The first images and feelings had almost brought him to his knees with the bright, sharp pain of hopelessness he had felt. He knew Ralu sensed something as she had looked up at him and just squeezed his hand tighter in hers. As soon as he broke his avatar link he needed to talk with Rocky, to see what he had done with Karen's body. One step at a time he told himself. One step at a time.
"Will I get to meet you in your Sky Person body?" Ralu asked, yanking Norm's attention back to her.
"I'm not sure that would be a good idea." When Ralu frowned, Norm added, "I'm really ugly, really short too. You might not like me any more after you see my human body."
"Shorter than me?" Ralu asked; her face alive with delight. "Then I get to call you shorty, right?"
"Wrong?" Norm replied hugging her to his side.
"But if I'm taller than you, then—"
"We'll have to stand back to back," Norm said; cutting her off. "See which one of us is the shortest."
"You will have to wear a mask, like Gary?" From Ralu's frown it was obvious to Norm that she didn't care for them.
"Yes I will, unfortunately. Humans and Na'vi can't breathe the same air. Your air would kill us quickly. Ours would make you silly and lightheaded. If you breathed it long enough it could hurt you. Since we don't have masks for the Na'vi to breathe our air, I will have to visit you in the prep room and wear a mask."
"What is this prep room?" Ralu wanted to know.
"It's the name of the room that has the same air as outside. Sky People use it to tend to us avatars. It is where Jake has been since we arrived here earlier."
"Norm, why don't you and Ralu gather up some food and we'll head in," Gary suggested. "I'll call in and let them know we're coming."
"Let me grab a basket," Norm replied as he disappeared inside the avatar hut.
"Norm felt some pain as we were walking back here," Ralu told Gary once Norm was inside the hut door. "I took some of it and he seemed to be able to push away the rest. Will someone be with him once he goes back to his human body?"
"We won't leave him alone tonight," Gary promised. "Someone will be with him. Right now it is good that you are helping him, but at some point he needs to be able to handle these fresh attacks by himself. I'm sure you know that it will take many days for them to mostly go away."
"They never go away completely, do they?" Ralu asked, thinking as much about herself as about Norm.
"No they don't, not completely."
"Ready," Norm called out as he emerged from the hut with a large wooden basket.
"Get started picking what you want to take in with you. I'll lock up here," Gary told them as he ascended the steps to secure the hut for the night.
Neytiri was heading for the outer airlock door when Max, Susan and Ron entered the room through the inner airlock.
"Gary called to say they were on the way in," Max said to Neytiri as Ron as Susan started checking over Jake's monitors. "Norm and Ralu are gathering up some food for the night. Because of the breach in the perimeter fence caused by the earthquake, both Gary and I felt it would be safer if you and Ralu spent the night inside the complex, here with Jake. We will also have Norm's avatar in here as well. It will be a bit crowded, but we think it's for the best."
"Hey that's great," Jake added when he noticed Neytiri looking around the small room. "It will be just like the two nights we spent in the shelter, out of the storm." Maybe it wasn't fair to Neytiri as she had never spent any real time inside a building, but he wanted her and Ralu with him.
"With both of you in here with me I will be able to sleep better," Jake added, knowing that it would make Neytiri feel guilty if she insisted on staying in the avatar hut. The look she flashed him told him that she hadn't missed that little ploy. It would be easier to deal with her irritation with him than the worry he would not be able to put aside if she and Ralu spent the night in the avatar hut.
"You can sleep on the gurney next to Jake's," Max said into the silence that followed Jake's last words. "We are going to bring in a smaller, human size gurney for Ralu. It won't be quite what you are used to, but it will safer."
"Also," Max continued. "The four avatars at the Well of Souls are going to pair off to make sure the pump keeps operating throughout the night. The drop in the water level is already very noticeable. Your people seem quite encouraged by this."
"That is good. Our people need to have some hope come into their lives," Neytiri answered, having been distracted from her concern at spending the night inside a box that made her just a little nervous, to the progress being made on draining the Well of Souls.
At the sound of the outer airlock's inner door opening Neytiri turned to see Ralu stepping into the room with Norm right behind her. Spotting Jake, Ralu rushed to the side of his gurney and threw one arm across his chest. When Gary stepped in and closed the door behind him, the room closed in on her.
"It's a little crowded in here," Gary said looking around, but mostly to Neytiri. "Once we get you settled it will be a little roomier. Shouldn't take all that long. Ron and Susan will remote Jake's monitors to a console in the bio lab if necessary. That way you can have the room all to yourselves."
"What about Norm?" Neytiri asked as nothing was mentioned about where his avatar would rest.
"Just prop him in any convenient corner. Once the link is broken he won't care," Gary answered glibly, the grin on his face contradicting the carelessness of his words.
"Ron and Susan will bring in a portable cot," Gary quickly added when Neytiri just continued to look at him with steely eyes. It might be a bit foolhardy to tease a woman more than twice his size, but it was sure a lot of fun. "Honestly, it doesn't really matter where we put the avatar. Once the link is broken the avatar does not feel anything. The only thing that matters is keeping it safe from harm. If you would rather we can move Norm's avatar into the bio lab after Norm breaks the link. Once the link is broken the avatar breathes very little. We could setup a small tent with Pandora air for the avatar."
"No that won't be necessary," Neytiri answered. "I'm sure Ralu will sleep easier if she can see that Norm's avatar is resting comfortably."
"Jake's vitals have been rock steady since coming out of surgery," Susan told Gary and Neytiri as she and Ron prepared to setup the cot they had brought into the room with them. "Max doesn't feel we need to monitor him that closely anymore. If you notice anything unusual in his behavior, call us right away," Susan said to Neytiri.
"Yes, I will do that."
"Try to relax and just enjoy some quiet family time together," Gary added, touching Neytiri's forearm gently. "I'm going to help Ron and Susan. Then well get out of your way."
True to his word, the cot was setup along the wall nearest the airlock and all the humans had departed within minutes.
"You're looking a hell of lot better that you were this morning," Norm said to Jake after he had given him and Ralu a few minutes to talk alone.
"Same goes for you," Jake returned, looking up at one of his best friends. The fact that Ralu had taken Norm's hand in hers didn't escape Jake's notice, or the way the contact seemed to make both her and Norm more at ease.
"I'm dealing with Karen's death minute by minute."
Norm smiled when Neytiri stood on the opposite side of the gurney and reached for Jake's hand. Seeing their obvious love for each other helped to dull the pain he was holding back.
"It's going to take time to get over her death," Norm continued. "Maybe I never will, and that's the ways it's supposed to be. It's all such a senseless waste. I am trying very hard not to blame myself for her being there, but it's not easy because there is some truth to that."
"Norm, you and Jake, and now the other avatars, have shown our people that not all Sky People are monsters who want to take what they desire without regard for the lives they destroy in the process. Sadly, some of our people were so blinded by their hatred and anger that they saw anything and everything brought here by the Sky People as bad. You are not responsible for Karen's death. Blind hatred and rage are responsible."
The conviction in Neytiri's voice helped to push away some of the guilt that had been crowding in on Norm. "I know that you are right," Norm replied, looking into her strong, compassionate eyes. "I will remind myself of that whenever I start feeling guilty."
"I will remind you too, just in case you forget," Ralu added, looking up at him warmly.
"I'm sure you will…Shorty." Norm looked down at this small miracle standing beside him and wondered how he would be able to get through this ordeal without her.
"We'll see who is calling who shorty," she shot back.
"I'm a bit lost here," Jake interjected. "Help me out."
"I told Ralu that after I break the link I would come back in my human body so we could see who was the tallest."
"You're going to win," Jake told Ralu in a mock conspiratorial voice. "He's ugly too. Very bad. Maybe you should not see him that way."
"Look who's talking," Norm added. "Compared to your dad, I was downright hansom."
"Stop teasing the poor girl," Neytiri snapped at both of them. "Neither one of them is ugly, in either of their bodies."
"Mother, I know that are just teasing. I don't mind. Please don't be upset."
"Sorry, I'm just feeling a little closed in at the moment," Neytiri apologized; telling herself to relax and not be so uptight.
"I need to go for a while," Norm told Ralu as he dropped down on one knee so that they were eye to eye. "My human body needs some food and some rest. As soon as I have had both I will come back here to see you."
When Ralu's arms wrapped around his neck, Norm pull her to him in a hug that chased many of the demons that were chasing him away. Giving her a last squeeze, Norm released her and stood.
"It's been a long day, I hope you can all get some rest," Norm told Jake and Neytiri. "All you have to do is call if you want anything."
"We will do that," Jake answered. "Get some rest yourself."
When Jake offered his hand, Norm grasped Jake's forearm as a sign of their deeper friendship and loyalty. A gesture that Jake returned.
"Come, you can tuck me in," Norm added, smiling down at Ralu.
"Ralu, I will be back." Jake promised when he sat down and stretched out on the cot.
"Yes, I know that you will." After Norm closed his eyes and his body went lax, Ralu press a kiss to his forehead. "I love you," she added so softly that she was the only one who heard the words.
Author's Note:
A number of readers have asked that the story be centered more on Jake and Neytiri and their love for each other. Book2 will have this as its central theme. No major disasters. Some small ones to be sure, otherwise the story will be a bit boring.
For those of you who have reviewed, Thanks. As always I enjoy hearing from you, so please review when you can.
Enjoy.