The Balance of Life
Part One - Discovery
Chapter 4 - Part 17--- NewHome
When Norm sat up in his pod he noticed that Buck and Abby were just getting up from their pods. Stretching high he tried to loosen his muscles that had stiffened during the long and strenuous link. The first thought that hit him was Karen wasn't standing next to his pod, looking down at him, checking him for signs of stress. Pushing the grief that tried to crawl up his throat viscously aside, he swung out of the pod onto his feet. He didn't even make it to the end of the aisle before Abby was wrapping her arms around him as she pressed her face against his chest. He knew that he was not the only one grieving over Karen's death. Everyone had liked Karen, especially the avatar drivers. As there was little else he could do, he just returned Abby's embrace and tried to offer her some measure of comfort.
Buck simply placed his hand on Norm's shoulder. Words were not necessary for the common tragedy that they shared. The understanding that flowed between them helped each acknowledge the pain they were both feeling. No sooner had the first sob escaped from Abby when she pushed herself away from Norm and swiped at the tears running down her cheeks.
"I'm not going to start this again," she said as she looked up at Norm, her eyes streaked with red. "I've already cried enough today. This isn't helping me or any of the rest of you."
"Sometimes it's all we can do," Norm said gently as he placed his hands on her shoulders and brushed a light kiss over her forehead. "If we don't let the grief out somehow, we'll shatter into a million little pieces."
"I'm not sure I can eat, but I know I have to try." Abby looked at Buck, who was anything but his usual outgoing self.
"Yeah, same here," he answered soberly.
Gary walked over with Zoe at his side. The shock of Karen's death was a heavy weight hanging over all of their heads.
"You three need to log some down time," Gary began, addressing the drivers. "Roger has setup a buffet so that we can eat whenever we feel the need. Last I checked, Rocky was in the cafeteria nursing a beer. A little alcohol might be just the thing to help some food go down."
"And getting shit-faced drunk might be a lot more satisfying," Buck added. "Sadly that's not an option as we need to relieve Kyle and Judy at midnight. So some food and a single beer is going to have to suffice."
"Let's get going," Abby suggested. "Midnight will be here before we know it and I need some sleep as well as food."
"Norm, get some food too. Probably better grab a shower while you're at it," Gary said as Buck and Abby headed for the door.
"I guess I'm a bit ripe," Norm answered. "Think I'll eat first. Although I may not be allowed to sit next to anyone."
"Buck, Abby, wait up," Norm called out as he hurried after them.
"How are you holding up?" Gary asked Zoe once the others had left the bio lab.
"Mostly I'm feeling kind of dazed, as if this isn't real. I know that Karen's dead, but it doesn't feel real just yet."
"I know what you mean. It's going to take time not to expect to see her standing here next to the pods, worrying over the drivers."
"I don't know how we are going to get along without her. As insensitive and selfish as that sounds, it's true."
"There are so few of us left that the loss of any one of us is a real hardship," Gary replied trying not to think about what this was going to do to their mental outlook and chances for long term survival.
"I can pick up some of what Karen used to do," Zoe volunteered. "Ron or Susan can teach me what I need to know to perform the basic tasks."
"We'll figure it out. For the time being we will have to share the driver monitoring duties as it looks like, as a group, one or more of them is going to be linked continuously for the next few days."
"Why don't you go and get something to eat," Zoe suggested. "You look like you could use some food. When you come back you can tell me about Ralu. She seems quite fascinating."
"She is all of that, plus a good deal more. Just what that 'more' entails remains to be seen. But I'd bet my last pay voucher it's going to be pretty damn significant."
When Norm. Buck and Abby entered the cafeteria they found Rocky sitting by the windows, a single bottle of beer in front of him. Filling plates with food they didn't have any appetite for, they walked over and sat down beside Rocky.
"Long damn day." Rocky greeted them with a salute of his beer bottle.
"Yeah, and it's not over yet," Buck added.
"How are you holding up?" Rocky asked looking at Norm, but the question applied to all of them.
"About as well as can be expected. It still sneaks up on me every chance it gets, but I'm dealing with it."
"How are Kyle and Judy?" Rocky asked, glancing at Abby, then at Buck.
"Hanging in there, just like the rest of us," Abby answered. "They are taking first shift to keep an eye on the pump. Buck and I will take over at midnight."
"Pump doing its job?"
"Yes, thankfully. The Omatikaya are very relieved to see the water level going down."
"Need to make a run out there in the morning with fuel for the pump." Rocky's clipped sentences showed that he was feeling the same pain as everyone else.
"I need to go back with you," Norm said, which caused everyone to look at him.
"I want to ask Mo'at if we can bury Karen's body somewhere near Grace's. One of the things she confided in me was that she did not want to be cremated. She was afraid that it would hurt. I'd like to spare her that if possible."
"I think that's a good idea," Abby added. "I doubt if Mo'at would object. You could check with Neytiri first. Get her take on it."
"Good point. I'll do that when I go to see her, Jake and Ralu after I've eaten and cleaned up."
"I'm sure they'll appreciate it, the cleaning up part," Buck added teasingly.
"At first I didn't think I would be able to eat anything," Norm began. "Now that I've started I don't want to quit. Damn, this is good cobbler."
"Yeah, same here," Buck added as he shoveled in another mouthful.
Much quicker than he thought possible, Norm found that he had cleaned his plate. "I'm going to grab a shower and head back to the lab. If you need me I'll be there or in the prep room."
"Say hi to Jake and Neytiri for us," Abby added as Norm headed to the kitchen with his food tray.
"Sorry to eat and run Rocky," Buck said as he got to his feet when Abby rose. "We have to get some sleep before we link up again."
"Not a problem. I expect someone else will be along shortly. If not, I'll see you in the morning."
Walking out of the cafeteria after dropping the food trays in the kitchen Abby turned to Buck.
"I'd like to ask you a favor. I'll understand if you say no."
"Okay. What do you want?"
"I want to sleep with you but not for sex. I don't want to be alone. I'm afraid I'll lose it if I'm by myself. I know it's a lot to ask."
"Jesus, Abby. It's not a lot to ask. I don't feel much like being by myself either, if you want the truth. Grab a shower and meet me back at my room when you're ready."
"Thanks for understanding Buck. See you in about twenty minutes."
"Twenty minutes, I'll be ready. By the way, it means a lot that you trust me enough to want to sleep with me, without the sex."
"Buck, I could climb into bed bare-ass naked and you wouldn't touch me if I didn't want you to. That's just the way you're built."
"I'd just as soon you didn't try that trick tonight if you don't mind."
"I'll save the bare-ass naked trick for another night. See you soon."
As Buck watched Abby hurry away he wasn't quite sure what to think about Abby's last statement. The look she had tossed at him when she said it spoke of a woman that saw him as something other than a big brother. Shaking his head, Buck hurried off to make sure he was showered by the time she got there. Besides he couldn't exactly remember what the state of his room was when he left it in the morning.
The instant Norm opened the door to his room he smelled Karen's scent. For several seconds he stood in the open doorway and just breathed slowly until the pain and panic subsided. Steeling his mind he entered the room and closed the door. He spotted her nightgown on the bed. It took all of his will power not to pick it up and just bury his face in it. If he did that he knew he would fall apart again. Peeling off his clothes he stepped into the shower, setting the water temperature as hot as he could stand.
Looking like a lobster ready to be served, Norm stepped out of the shower into a steam filled bathroom. Ruling out shaving—his hand wasn't steady enough, he quickly dressed in the bedroom. Knowing that at some point he would have to pick up the nightgown, he reached down and gathered it up. Folding it neatly he placed it in the drawer that held some of her other clothes she left in his room. The first night he spent alone in this room was going to be brutal. He wasn't sure he was up for it tonight. Killing the lights he left the room and headed for the bio lab.
Entering the lab he found Zoe at the main console talking with Kyle and Judy on the sat-comm-link. Standing behind her he listened in on the conversation.
"There is enough fuel to run the pump for sixteen hours," Kyle informed Zoe. "Everything is quiet here. Mo'at is making sure we are well cared for. She has assigned Tey'bar and Ell'a'u to watch over us. Seeing as they spend a lot of time watching each other I hope it stays quiet tonight. All of the clan members that have come to see what progress we have made have been very friendly. As most don't speak any English it's nice having Ell'a'u and Tey'bar around. With nothing else to do, we are making some progress with our Na'vi. I wish we had thought to bring a deck of cards. Have Rocky bring a couple, would you?"
"I'll pass that along to him as soon as I see him," Zoe answered.
"Does Neytiri still want to speak with her mother?" Judy asked.
"Yes she does. Can you find Mo'at and call back? I'll link you into the prep room console when you do."
"We can find her easily enough. When we first mentioned that Neytiri wanted to talk with her over the sat-link, Mo'at didn't look to happy about it. I got the impression she would rather pick up a viper wolf cub than the sat-link."
"Once she hears Neytiri's voice she might change her mind," Zoe replied. "It's worth a try."
"Right. Call you back in fifteen minutes, give or take."
"Where's Gary?" Norm asked after the com-link closed.
"He went up to get something to eat. I expect him back in half an hour."
"I will be in the prep room if anyone is looking for me. Let Jake know I'll be coming in shortly, would you please?."
"Will do," Zoe answered.
"By the way, what happened to the human clone? I didn't see it in the prep room." Norm asked when he suddenly remembered its absence.
"Max had Ron and Judy move it to the auxiliary staging area while we were waiting for you to arrive. He didn't want it in the room while they were performing surgery on Jake. Just a precaution."
"Probably a wise move, in more ways than one. See you later."
Giving Zoe time to inform Jake that he was coming, Norm hunted up an exopack. Even though he knew it was silly, he had butterflies in his stomach over meeting Ralu for the first time in his human body. Sighing to himself that it was a day of firsts he entered the airlock.
Stepping out of the airlock Norm almost rammed straight into Ralu. It was a tossup as to which was more surprised. Even though Ralu looked the same to Norm, it was totally different from this lower perspective. The close likeness between Norm's human and avatar faces left no doubt in Ralu's mind as to who he was. For an awkward moment they just looked at each other. A wide grin burst across Ralu's face an instant before she pulled Norm into a tight hug. The first thing that registered in Norm's mind was that this was one strong little girl.
"You look just as I imagined you would," Ralu said as she released him and stepped back.
"You look a lot taller." Norm answered soberly. It was a bit of a shock to be face to face with her.
"Actually, I think we are the same height." Ralu passed her hand from the top of her head to the top of Norm's. "Close enough that it doesn't matter."
Taking Norm's hand in hers without even thinking about it, she directed him to where Jake and Neytiri were lying on separate gurneys, facing each other.
"Norm has returned, just as he said he would."
"I see that. How are you feeling?" Neytiri asked.
"Pretty good actually; now that I've had something to eat and a shower."
"Good to see you again," Jake added. "Too bad it couldn't be under better circumstances."
"Yeah, like you not having an arrow sticking out of your chest for starters."
"Believe me, I wish that as much as you do." Jake replied, deciding to leave it up to Norm to bring up Karen's death if he wanted to.
"Did Zoe tell you that Kyle and Judy are looking for your mother so that you can speak with her," Norm asked Neytiri.
"Yes she did. This will be a first for mother. I'm interested to see how she does."
"I haven't seen much your mother can't do," Norm added. "Once she hears your voice she will be just fine."
"I hope so," Neytiri replied.
"Max give you any indication when he thinks you can go home?" Norm asked, turning his attention to Jake.
"Two or three days. That's what he said earlier this afternoon."
"You still won't be able to do much, but it will be better than just sitting around here."
"That's very true."
"Not much to look at, is it?" Norm asked Ralu as she was gazing around the room with its high ceiling and pale green walls.
"No. I liked the avatar hut much better."
"So do I," Norm added. "You will most likely only need to spend one night in here; two at the most."
"Neytiri, do you think your mother, or any of your people, would be upset if I asked to have Karen buried near where Grace is buried?"
"No, I can't see why anyone would object."
"Would it be better if you asked, or should I?"
"I'll ask mother. When would you like to do this?"
"When you go back, I'll go with you and take her body with me. If that's all right."
"That should work. Leave the arrangements to me. It is something I would like to do. For you, and for Karen."
"Thanks. I would appreciate that," Norm replied, a little of the weight lifting from his heart.
"How about a game of tic-tak-toe?" Norm asked, turning his attention back to Ralu.
"What is that?" Ralu asked, her interest instantly perked.
Pulling a PVC from its docking station Norm sat down across from the end of Jake's gurney, motioning for Ralu to sit facing him.
After selecting the game from a list of oldies-but-goodies, Norm set the PVC between them and proceeded to explain the rules.
When Gary walked into the cafeteria he found the place empty. Grabbing a tray he placed a few haphazard selections on it without really thinking about what he was selecting. Sitting next to the window so he could gaze out at Polyphemus hanging in the western sky he began to eat without tasting what he put in his mouth. Many, many times he had cursed his special gift over the course of his life, but today wasn't one of them. Having helped Norm when he needed it had left a satisfying feeling in his gut. Once he rid himself of the pain that he had absorbed.
When Max walked in alone, Gary caught his eye. After getting food for himself, Max sat down across from Him.
"What is Jake's prognosis?" Gary asked.
"Excellent. He should make a full recovery. Damage to his lung was minimal. He'll be sore as hell for a few days. As long as he takes it easy he should not have any problems."
"Hopefully things will stay uneventful for a while. Give the Omatikaya a little peace and quiet. They sure deserve it."
"Yes they do."
"Neytiri and Jake are going to want to talk with you about them having children," Gary said, after Max had finished eating. He didn't want him to choke.
"I'm not surprised," Max answered, which surprised Gary.
"Really!"
"I take it Jake told her that he is currently sterile."
"Actually, I told her, earlier this afternoon. She was talking about a conversation she had with Karen this morning where Karen mentioned that all humans of Pandora were sterile. Karen didn't tell her the same was true with the avatars. From my response, Neytiri guessed that there was something I was not telling her. I felt it best to tell her the truth. Layout all the reasons the avatars are rendered sterile."
"What was her response?" Max asked.
"She was trying to understand everything I was telling her. She didn't get everything, but she got the basics. What was interesting, and started the whole discussion in the first place, was that Ralu told her of a vision she had in which Neytiri had a child of her own."
"That's interesting. Was it just wishful thinking on Ralu's part or does she have precognitive abilities?"
"I know for a fact that she has empathic abilities, so I don't discount the she may have other abilities as well. The gift of sight may well be one of them. She is a very special girl."
"As I said, interesting," Max mused. "I have given some thought to what I would do if Jake asked me to remove his implant. Ideally, I would like to harvest some of Neytiri's eggs and try fertilizing them with Jake's sperm. That would tell us a lot about the potential outcome of any pregnancy that might result. I don't think Neytiri would be comfortable with that option. It's not conclusive that even if I could create a viable embryo in the lab, she could conceive. If she did manage to conceive I would like to see her regularly just to make sure the fetus is developing properly. Jake might be able to talk her into that. She seems reasonable where someone's welfare is concerned."
"I think she might agree to that. Anyway, I just wanted to give you a heads up."
"Thanks. I appreciate it."
Author's Note:
For those of you who have reviewed, Thanks. As always I enjoy hearing from you, so please review when you can.
Enjoy.