Matchmaker

And now, for your supreme enjoyment . . . more Evil-Gary!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Pokemon.

Summary: If there was one thing Ash Ketchum knew about . . . well it certainly wasn't matchmaking. And as well as the tried and tested clichés tended to work in movies, in real life, things tended to get a little . . . well . . . complicated. Pokeshipping w/ egoshipping on the side.

Matchmaker: A Cautionary Tale

Step 2 - Revision

"She's not interested," Gary said in a low voice, lagging behind with Ash as Misty and Pikachu led the way to some new fishing spot near Cerulean Cove. Apparently their 'usual spot' was some sort of secret that couldn't go beyond the charmed circle (one that consisted of Ash, Misty, and their Pokémon), and Misty had made up some excuse about a great new spot near by simply to avoid extending that knowledge to Gary.

"Huh?" Ash asked, feigning ignorance. Or maybe not. Maybe he really, truly, honestly had no clue what Gary was talking about and wasn't playing dumb like Gary suspected. Gary couldn't really be sure either way, but continued on the assumption that he was only feigning ignorance.

"Misty. She's not interested," Gary said again, keeping his voice to a low hiss. He noted Pikachu's quirk his ears back in their direction at the sound of Misty's name and realized he was going to have to be careful if he didn't want the little rodent going around ruining his plans.

"Not interested in what?" Ash asked, frowning in confusion as he tried his best to decipher what exactly Gary was trying to say. "Do you mean she didn't really want to go fishing with me?" Ash asked, looking suddenly inconsolable. For a moment, Gary almost felt bad for what he was trying to do, but once again reassured himself that if Ash hadn't been such a coward for the last six years, none of this would be happening, ipso facto, it was all Ash's fault.

Gary rolled his eyes, coming to the easy conclusion that Ash Ketchum wasn't playing dumb. "You, you moron," he hissed in reply. "She's not interested in you."

It took Ash a few moments to realize what exactly Gary was getting at, and when he did, his expression dropped entirely. Gary didn't think he'd ever seen the Sinnoh Champion looking so forlorn in his life, not even when his dad left or when they stopped being friends. He had probably just broken Ash's heart, and the full extent of that was written all over his face.

"Do you think she knows?" Ash asked quietly, his voice barely rising to a whisper. He glanced down at his feet, lowering the brim of his hat so it would shadow his face and hide his broken expression.

"I don't know," Gary shrugged. "I don't think so.

"You'd hope not," he added empathetically. "It would just be so uncomfortable for her if she did. Imagine how awful it would be for her after so many years of friendship to find out that you felt like that about her. It would be so awkward. Christ, it might even ruin your friendship and I know how much Misty treasures what the two of you have."

"Yeah," Ash agreed painfully. "I couldn't do that to her. Not to Misty."

"Hey, it's okay, Ash," Gary said consolingly, patting his childhood friend on the shoulder. "It's not like you've done anything wrong. It's not your fault you fell for her. Misty's a great gal – christ, I bet she has guys falling for her all the time. You're probably just one of the many millions to fall prey to the Waterflower charm."

Ash was torn between being impressed or simply aggravated by Gary's skill with words. Every phrase was like a precisely aimed projectile, tearing another sliver off his wounded heart. His strong friendship with Misty, which had withstood distance and time and all kinds of obstacles and adversity, was suddenly in jeopardy all because he had the audacity to go and fall in love with her – through no fault of Misty's – just like the millions of other guys around her.

He sighed, his breath shaking with the heavy emotions he tried to expel. "Just because she doesn't . . . I . . ." he began, trailing off with the meaning implicit. "You've got to help me, Gary," he said, turning to his childhood friend. "She can't know. It would ruin everything."

Gary nodded gravely, resisting the smirk of victory that pulled at his lips. "There's only one thing to do," he insisted in a pensive tone. "You've got to convince her that you like someone else. That way if she ever suspects anything, it'll throw her off the scent."

"Gary, I'm not sure – "

"C'mon, Ash, I know what I'm talking about," Gary encouraged, cutting off Ash's protests. "It's for the best."

Ash made to give further protest, but made the mistake of looking in Misty's direction. She looked so happy and carefree, and he knew that would change if she ever found out how he really felt about her. She was the love of his life, and above all else, he wanted her to be happy.

He sighed in defeat, giving in to Gary's plan. "What do I do?" he asked sadly, his body slumping sadly.

"Just follow my lead," Gary answered, raising his voice subtly a moment later so Misty could finally hear them. "Wow, Ash. She sure sounds like something special," he said conversationally, watching as Misty's steps faltered for just a second.

"What are you guys talking about back there?" Misty asked nonchalantly over her shoulder. She barely glanced in their direction (well, Ash's) and pretended as though she only had a vague interest in their goings on that had absolutely nothing to do with the sudden use of a feminine pronoun.

Ash's face contorted into surprise and horror, his expression playing perfectly into Gary's plan. Gary turned his own features to a half-sheepish, half-apologetic smile. "Nothing," he said quickly – 'a little too quickly', Misty thought, taking this as overwhelming evidence that they were in fact talking about something. "Just guy stuff," Gary added with a cheesy smile.

Misty looked upset by her exclusion from the conversation, but pushed past it quickly. "Well, the spot is just around this corner," she said, changing the subject. "It's really nice."

Ash scoffed a little, knowing full well that the fishing spot they were heading towards was okay if you were in the market for shellder or horsea or the miscellaneous junk that seemed to come up a lot in this spot, but nothing particularly special. But then again, like Misty, he wasn't particularly keen on the idea of letting Gary in on their fishing spot unless they really had to, so he was happy to go along with the ruse.

Gary grinned, watching the pawns in his clever plan move into place. "Don't worry, Ash," he said lowly, "now you've got me on your side, I'll make sure that Misty never knows.

"You can trust me, Ash," he added with an almost sinister grin. "I won't tell a soul."

Misty felt a hard tug on her line and turned to Ash challengingly. "Right boot," she gambled as she held her line steady.

"Tossed PokéDoll," Ash replied.

"Pik pika chu," the mouse-like Pokémon suggested, putting his own bet in.

"Brave," Ash noted with an amused look, "but highly unlikely, Pik."

"Loser has to go find some more bait," Misty reminded them as she started reeling in her catch. Whatever was on the end of her line resisted, but with one hard tug, she eventually pulled it free, flinging an old brown boot onto the river bank.

"Yes," Misty cheered, throwing the boot next to its forgotten mate. "I am so good at this game."

"You two are weird," Gary complained, watching the pair with a scowl. "We've caught nothing but crap all day," he said and gestured towards the pile of random items they had fished out, "and you're both acting like that's a good thing."

They both shrugged, neither one of them pointing out the fact that Gary had no business complaining given that no one had actually invited him to come along.

"C'mon, Pik," Ash said, picking up the metal bucket. "Let's go find ourselves some grubs." With a 'chu' of agreement, the two disappeared back into the woods around them.

"So what were you guys talking about earlier?" Misty asked quickly as soon as Ash was out of hearing range. "It looked pretty serious."

Gary forced his expression into a grimace, looking at Misty reluctantly. He had known this moment would come just as soon as Misty had reason to get Ash out of the picture, and he was honestly surprised that Misty had lasted as long as she did. The Waterflower women weren't exactly known for their patience, and Misty even less.

"Misty, I don't think I should say," he told her. "Ash is my friend and what he told me was in strict confidence. I don't think I should be breaking his trust like that. If he wanted you to know, he would have told you."

Misty narrowed her eyes – she didn't buy Gary's contrite act, not even for a second. "The only reason you're here right now, Oak, is because you said you'd help me with Ash," she told him darkly, "so either start talking or start finding your own way back to the gym. Capisci?"

Gary nodded. He choose his words carefully, pausing intermittently to give the impression of an unwillingness to part with the information. "He . . . uh . . . was telling me about . . . about a girl he likes."

"He . . ." Misty began, her breath shaky as she tried to form the words. "He likes someone else?"

"Yeah," Gary admitted with a pained smile. As with Ash, Misty's face dropped with that single word and tears were evident in the corners of her eyes. "But it's nothing to worry about," he added consolingly. "She's completely out of his league and he doesn't have –"

Misty grabbed him roughly by the collar, cutting off anything else that Gary had to say about the matter. "What do you mean she's too good for him," she growled. "What the hell is wrong with her? Is she blind, or just really, really stupid?

"Who is she?" she asked angrily. "Tell me and I'll show that little tart who she's better than. Ungrateful cow. Doesn't she know how lucky she is?"

"It's fine, Misty," Gary said, trying to calm her down and wrench himself out of her grasp at the same time. He definitely hadn't been expecting this reaction from Misty. She was supposed to be inconsolable and falling into his arms, maybe even a little jealous. She wasn't supposed to be up in arms defending Ash's honour against some girl that didn't even exist. It seemed he had somewhat misjudge the situation.

"I don't know who she is exactly, but that's what Ash said: 'she's out of my league'," he tried and attempted to appease her, "and for our purposes it's good that he feels that way. She doesn't actually matter in the scheme of things."

"How do you know?" Misty replied. She let him go, but only so that she could take on an intimidating stance with her hands poised in her hips and her shoulders squared. "He might really, really like this girl and we're just –"

"He doesn't," Gary cut in. "It's just a crush. Nothing serious. Believe me, Misty, the girl doesn't matter.

"Just forget about the girl," he insisted, "because I have a plan for how to get Ash. I mean, obviously Ashy-boy isn't quite as disinterested in girls as we once thought, so we've just got to get him thinking about you in the right frame of mind. And to do that, all we've got to do is make him jealous."

Misty rolled her eyes. "And how exactly do you propose we do that?" she asked with a sneer of disbelief.

Gary grinned. "By going out on a date with me, of course."

~ to be continued ~

And now Evil-Gary's sinister plans begin to take form. You can all see why a regular old Gary just wouldn't have worked here right, and at least he does show some signs of guilt through his single-mindedness.

Just two chapters left of Matchmaker: A Cautionary Tale. Reviews will not increase the speed of update - they never do - but it will make me happy and you do want me to be happy, right?