Chap 2: Naming, and grandparents/godparents, the lot.
I dump Renji on the couch in my rooms. The girl sits on the floor, staring at us. It unnerves me, so I ignore her.
"What the hell have we gotten into?" I ask, falling back onto the couch where Renji's sitting. He sitting on one end, I'm on the other.
"I'm getting married."
"Yeah, Renji, you are. To me."
"I'm getting married."
"RENJI!"
"I'm getting married!" he looks up, and stares at me. Then, he leans forwards, and shakes me. "I'M GETTING MARRIED!" he yells.
"YEAH! TO ME!" I yell back. Only, the momentum from him lunging forwards knocks us both off the couch, and we roll onto the floor, Renji on top of me. He's holding onto my shirt front, and I've grabbed him around the waist. We glare at each other, only, someone comes in.
That someone is my father.
Isshin.
"Oh my God! How can you do that in front of my granddaughter!" he wails. "Have you no respect for what her innocent eyes might see?" he adds. I knock Renji off me, and sit up, scowling at my father.
"DAD! What are you doing here? And knock, will you?!" I yell back.
"I must come and congratulate my son on producing a daughter! And I must visit my granddaughter!" he cries happily. I scowl at him, and pick my 'daughter' up, and hold her close.
"I'm not letting you anywhere near her," I growl back. Only, she jumps out of my arms, and rushes to Isshin.
"GRANDDADDY!" she yells, and hugs him happily. I stare, and then death glare Renji who's snorted. He's lying on the ground, and now gets up, and smirks at me.
"Guess she doesn't listen to what you say," he says. I scowl.
"Obviously your daughter then," I reply.
"Oh look! She's got Ichi's eyes, and Renji's hair," I notice the red hair for the first time, "and Ichi's face, and Ren's ears, and-"
I tune my father out.
"We better give her a name," I say. "And since I am... the mother," I shudder, "I decide."
"Nuh-uh," says Renji, sitting down onto the couch. I sit too. "I decide. I'm wearing the pants, like Zaraki said."
"No. I decide."
"Shirosaki."
"That's my hollow's name, dumbass. I'm not calling her that."
"Abarai, Kurosaki," says a voice. We turn. Byakuya. Sht.
"Byakuya," I say.
"Kuchiki," says Renji. Note the difference in politeness.
"You have...a child," he sniffs disapprovingly. "And, judging by the age, she was born while Abarai was still my vice captain."
Ah. Sht. We hadn't thought about that.
"She's not actually our child."
"She certainly looks like it."
"Well, she's not."
"Hm," he doesn't believe us. "Are you yet to name her?"
"Err. Yes."
"Well, I hope you remember to name her something along my name, as it a sign of respect you must follow," he says, before turning. I glance at Renji, he's gone green.
"What?" I snap.
"When I was a kid, Rukia and I promises we'd name any children either of us might have a name to do with the other. So, my kid would have a name to do with Rukia's name, and vice versa."
"Well, that was stupid, and she's probably forgotten."
"She never forgets, Berry."
"Hisana, then."
"Hisana?"
"Yeah, to do with Byakuya, and Rukia. Bya's late wife, and Rukia's sister. That should keep both of them happy."
"Okay. Hisana it is," he says. We're both silent. Then Isshin bounces in.
"Have you named her yet?"
"Yeah, Rice."
"Huh?" says Isshin. I roll my eyes.
"Renji, your stomach is talking."
"Hell."
"No."
"Hellina."
"Yeah. No."
"Hellress."
"RENJI!"
"Helliania."
"ABARAI PINEAPPLE RENJI!" I yell, and lunge forwards, and shake him. Unfortunately, guess what happens?
Yeah, we fall off, and land on top of each other. We're too stunned to do anything, and so just sit there, staring at each other. He's grabbed my stomach, and now his arms are wrapped around my waist. I'd grabbed his clothes, and now my arms are wrapped around his neck. Our legs are tangled up, and Isshin reacts predictably.
"OH the virgin eyes of my nameless granddaughter are forever harmed!" he cries, wrapping his hands over my 'daughter's' eyes. She pulls them down, and watches us.
I roll off Renji, not happy. He still has an arm wrapped around my waist, something I'm not bothered enough to correct, and we stand, my arm still draped over his shoulders.
"Dad," I growl at Isshin. "Shut the fck up."
"Oh, now the virgin ears of my nameless granddaughter are harmed!" he cries, covering her ears. She rolls her eyes, and slams her foot into my father's groin, and runs to Renji and me.
I smirk, and ruffle her hair, congratulating her.
"And you still say she's not your daughter?" asks Rukia, entering, not bothering to help Isshin. I scowl at her.
"Aunty... what's your name?" asks Hisana, my 'daughter'.
"Rukia."
"Aunty Rukia!" she cries, and rushes to hug her.
"Yeah, that's why we say she's not our daughter," I say.
"What?" she says, suddenly upset.
"You didn't hear anything," said Rukia. "They're lying." We roll our eyes at her, and realize what we're doing.
I have an arm around Renji. He has an arm around me.
ARGHHH!!
We jump away, holding our arms as though they have been burnt.
Rukia rolls her eyes. "What's her name?" she asks.
"Hisana," I say. Rukia's eyes widen.
"Why?" she asks quietly. "Apart from the promise Renji and I made."
"Told you she'd remember," says Renji. I roll my eyes at him and decide to check on my father. He turns to Rukia, and shrugs, "There was the promise. And Byakuya paid a visit," Rukia winces in sympathy, "He told us to make sure she had a name to do with him."
"So I did," says Byakuya, appearing. God, he has to stop that. "Name?" he asks.
"Hisana," I say. Byakuya nods. And leaves. God, I'm gonna kill him.
"Hisana? Why not Masaki?" asks Isshin. I'm not gonna call him Dad anymore. He's too embarrassing. "Or," he sniffs, "Don't you want to remember me?" he wails. Then, he starts sobbing. I slam a book onto his head. He doesn't pass out.
God, he must have a thick skull, as thick as Shunsui's.
"Masaki Hisana?" suggests Hisana. "Masaki middle name. Hisana first name." We look at each other, shrug, and nod.
"Yay!" she yells. "I have two names!" She hugs all of us, and latches onto me. Gah.
"Now," she says, "I'm tired." She falls asleep on my shoulder. I sigh.
"She's sleeping with you," says Renji immediately. "I'm going back to my rooms."
"No," says Rukia, with an evil grin. She holds out a piece of paper. It's from Yama.
Dear Ichi-kun, Ren-kun,
Until you marry, you must sleep with each other each and every night from now own. After you marry, you must sleep with each other, like a good couple.
If you don't you shall face my wrath!! HAHA! Cue evil laugh.
From Yama!
I stare at it.
"No!" I wail. Isshin shuts me up.
"Don't wake Hisana-chan!"
I scowl at him. And then, I scowl at Renji. He's scowling at the paper, and then me.
It's then that I realize Rukia and Isshin have fled.
Probably better for their health actually.
I stare at the paper, and then lead the way to my bedroom. Lucky I have a double bed. (for no reason, I swear).
"You sleep on this half, I sleep on this half," I declare, dividing the bed in half. Renji nods, and falls asleep immediately. I roll my eyes, and set Hisana down in the middle. After that, I get ready for bed, and fall asleep.
--
Isshin crept into the bedroom, grinning evilly. Byakuya followed him.
In there, they found Ichigo, Renji and Hisana Masaki in a very strange position.
Renji was curled up on his side, and was curled up to Ichigo, his head on the Strawberry's chest. Ichigo's arm was wrapped tightly around Renji's waist, Renji's arm on Ichigo's chest, wrapping around his shoulder. It was slightly suspicious that they both had their shirts undone, but oh well. Hisana was sleeping on Ichigo's torso, her small arms wrapped around Ichigo's neck. Renji's arm was on top of her body.
"This is perfect," said Byakuya, grinning sadistically.
"I knew you had an evil side," Isshin muttered. Byakuya rolled his eyes at Isshin, but took out his camera, and turned the flash off. It had a night vision; it would take perfect blackmail pictures. Isshin pulled out his own camera, and did the same. Then, both crept around, taking as many pictures as they could.
A/N: Disclaimer: don't known anyone or anything except for Hisana. Not even the idea, sob
I know, not yet five reviews, but I'm being kind.
ByaBya's evil!! HA! Cackle I'm evil, I know. I get told off for torturing the characters too much by my friends.
I have written a couple more chapters. When I get to...nine reviews, I'll update. Unless I'm being kind. A rare occurence, so don't get your hopes up.
so... review!!
EDIT: grammar, english. the usual. typos... grr.