Chapter What to do if your supposed partner and you argue. Also, what to do when your child wants to visit the deadliest division on the planet.
"Gah," I mutter, stirring. Stretching, I felt my hand hit the head board, but ignored the dull ache.
"Stop it," mutters a voice. I look down, and find Renji's head on my chest.
"Get off me," I mutter, scowling at him. I shall stay calm. I shall stay calm.
I shall not stay calm.
"JUST GET OFF ME ALREADY!" I scream in his ear. Thank god Hisana was sent to Fourth for surveillance.
"SHUT UP!" he yells back. He sits up, and glares at me. "I just wanna sleep! God damnit! Is that too much to ask!?"
"Yeah! Don't sleep on me!" I yell back. He glares at me.
"Oh sorry," he says sarcastically, "I didn't know sleeping on you by accident was illegal!"
"Accident or not, I did tell you not to sleep on me!" I snap back.
"Fine! I'll sleep on the couch!"
"We're not allowed to, remember," I growl back.
"ARGH!" he yells, throwing his hands in the air. "What do you want me to do, then?"
"Just don't sleep on me!" I snap. "Don't care how you do it, just don't sleep on me!"
"And just how do you think I'm gonna do that?!" exclaims Renji. "God, Kurosaki, do you ever think about whether something can be done before you do it or demand it!?"
"Hey! Do you wanna wake up with a guy sleeping on you!?"
"I wouldn't care!"
"Slut!"
"Oh, what did you call me?" he growls, leaning forwards, and glaring at me. His reiatsu pikes.
"You said you wouldn't care if you woke up with some random guy sleeping on your chest! So, slut!"
"Do you wanna know why I said that?!" he growls.
"No, I don't care!" I snap, turning around, to get out of bed. Renji grabs my shoulders and forces me to turn back to him. His grip is deadly tight.
"Cause, right now, the only guy who can sleep on me happens to be you, Kurosaki, and I really could not care less if you end up sleeping on my chest!"
I scowl at him, not really believing him. Renji leaves, storming to the bathroom, probably knowing I don't believe him.
I do NOT like waking up with Renji sleeping on me, and I don't believe that he wouldn't care if it happened vice versa. I just can't stand waking up with a guy sleeping on my chest. It reinforces that I'm about to get married to another guy, I've got a 'daughter' and my life has basically taken a turn for the worse. ARGH!
Letting out a deep furious breath, I leave the apartment, after changing my clothes, and make my angry way to fourth division. I need to pick up, Hisana, after all.
I get there, and make my way to the specially devised children's wards. These are reserved for Rukongai children injured by hollows, Yachiru, and a very, very angry Hitsugaya (who, after freezing the entire hospital, was allowed to stay in the normal wards). Also, any kid in Seretei.
Now, it's also for Hisana.
I enter her room.
And nearly pass out.
"Heya, Ichigo. Wanna fight?" asks Kenpachi, grinning. I frown, and glare at him.
"What on earth are you doing here?" I growl.
"Well, you see. Yachiru was put here for the night, so I came to get her. She wanted to see Hisana, so I came with her. Simple, ain't it?" he answers, grinning at my furious face. "Hey, I'm not a lethal force to her, or anything, am I?"
"You're dangerous, yes," I answer. "C'mon, Hisana, we're going home."
"No!" she answers, bouncing up and down on her bed, with Yachiru besides her doing the same. "I wanna go to Eleventh! I wanna see Feather Facey and Baldy!"
"Pachinko!" corrects Yachiru.
"Yeah! Pachinko! Feather Facey! I wanna see them!" she says.
I mentally groan, and slap my head. WHY!? Out of all the divisions, why eleventh!? NOOOOO!
"No, Hisana, not Eleventh." Yachiru glares at me.
"Yes! Hisana-chan is going to Eleventh with me and Ken-chan!" she says. "And you are gonna fight Ken-chan!"
"Why are you bossing me around, Yachiru-fukutaicho?" I ask, making sure my captain's cloak can be seen clearly.
Hisana and Yachiru give me death glares, clearly saying, 'we are going to go to Eleventh, aren't we?'. Kenpachi joins in. Deadly.
...
I hate them all.
"Let's check with Abarai first," I say weakly.
"Abarai? What, a lover's argument?" asks Kenpachi, grinning. "Ain't ya gonna call him Renji, or Pineapple? What's with the last name use?"
I slap him, and dodge away before he can do anything.
"Oi," he grumbles, rubbing his head. I scowl at him. I'm not into the mood for any of this, and this next person who teases me will feel the full power of Zangetsu. I swear it.
"Okay," says Hisana. "What did Ken-chan mean by 'lover's argument', Mummy?"
I groan.
"Hisana, just ignore anything Kenpachi says, okay?" I ask. "Kenpachi, die."
"Oh, so over protective, aren't you, Mummy?" he sniggers.
Death glaring him, I mutter, "Fight, tonight, 11th division training grounds."
Kenpachi grins manically, and nods eagerly. I sigh, thinking of how stretched Fouth Division will be, and how pissed Unohana is going to be. Che. Don't care. I've heard Yuzu's pretty good with kido, I can go to her if Unohana refuses to treat me. Can't go to Orihime, though, she's in the real world. Che.
Sighing, I turn to Hisana. "C'mon, let's go home." She nods, and jumps off the bed, leaning easily on the floor. Yachiru does so as well, and the two look at me.
"Mummy," Hisana says, tugging on my robes, "Can Yachiru come visit me? Please?" she begs.
Why? Why, out of everyone, did she have to befriend Yachiru? WHY!?
Cue pathetic wail.
"Fine," I grumble. Kenpachi gets up, and walks out of the room, before turning to look at Yachiru.
"See ya at Eleventh in about an hour, Yachiru. If ya not there, I know to blame Ichi. And Hisana, you wanna have lessons in fighting?"
"Blame me?" I ask. Somehow, I'm not surprised. "And no, Hisana does not want lessons in fighting."
"Mummy! I wanna have lessons in fighting!"
"Yeah, you. And, we're gonna have to arrange a time for Hisana's lessons." Kenpachi gives me a deadly grin, and leaves. I sigh.
"C'mon."
We get back to my apartment: Yachiru shunpoing while carrying a large bag (the shunpo scared me – she can SHUNPO?! The bag – I'd rather not know about) and me carrying Hisana and shunpoing.
Renji meets us in the living room, rubbing his hair dry with a towel. He eyes Yachiru warily, glares at me, and grins at Hisana. Mood swings. Quick ones. Puberty?
"Yachiru came over for an hour, then she's gotta get back to Eleventh. Hisana wants to go to Eleventh for a visit. And," I move closer, and mutter into his ear, "I'm gonna have a fight with Kenpachi tonight."
I move on, and enter the kitchen, seeing as my stomach is forcibly reminding me that I haven't eaten anything today. Glancing up, I see Hisana and Yachiru playing on the floor, and that when I notice the stack of dolls that Yachiru's brought with her. That explains the bag she had.
Cue a shudder.
I see no Renji.
"Kurosaki ICHIGO! What the hell are you thinking?!" rants someone behind me. I turn around very slowly, and glare at Renji, who's glaring at me from the opposite side of the kitchen. "FIGHTING him!? Kenpachi? Are. You. Nuts?" he demands.
"No, I'm not," I say calmly, sipping a cup of hot chocolate. I've been permanently thrown off tea.
"You. Are. Such. A. Baka!" he exclaims.
"I'm not," I reply. Renji glares at me, looking extremely pissed off. "What?" I ask weakly.
"What if he kills you?" he demands.
"First, I think both of us would know better than that," I reply, "Second, why does it bother you so much?"
"It's not me, it's Hisana. How's she going to react?" he demands.
Damn, hadn't thought of that.
"Will she find out?" I ask. Renji growls, and grabs the cup of hot chocolate out of my hands, before throwing it down the drain.
"Oi!" I protest. "I wanted that! First thing I've eaten or drunk this entire day!"
"Good for you," he replies, still angry.
"What's got your zanpuktou in a knot?" I demand. Funny how Shinigami phrases can slip into your every day speech.
"Oh I don't know, just that you've arranged for a fight with possibly one of the most feared Shinigami in the whole of Soul Society!"
"Ya know, only this morning we were arguing, and I'm pretty certain you wanted me dead. And besides, I beat him last time, didn' i?"
"Yeah, but you nearly died! And I don' wanna have ta deal with a bawling Hisana! Gah, Ichigo! Why the hell do ya have ta go and fight Kenpachi!?"
Unfortunately, Yachiru hears us.
"Oh! Is Orangey gona fight Ken-chan?!" she exclaims, jumping up onto the kitchen bench. "Ken-chan's gonna have loads of fun!"
"Mummy's gonna fight Ken-chan? Will Mummy be okay?" asks Hisana.
"I'll be fine, Hisana," I reply, rubbing her head.
"We gotta tell everyone!" says Yachiru suddenly, looking at us.
"NO!" I yell, staring at her, jumping back. "Nuh uh! No way in hell!"
"Renji-kun! Ichigo-kun!" calls a voice. Isshin walks in, grinning. He stops, stares, and grabs a camera from his pockets. "Say cheese!" he calls. I stare at him.
--
Isshin grinned as Renji and Ichigo stared at him. They looked quite cute with Renji's hands draped on Ichigo's arms, Ichigo leaning back into Renji.
--
Ah. Sh&t. Why do Renji and I always have to end up in embarrassing positions? WHY!? Does Kami-sama hate me!?
Death glaring Isshin, I turn back to Yachiru and Hisana, having freed myself from Renji, only to find both of them gone.
"Damn!" I swear. That's when Byakuya walks in.
I gotta get a new lock for that door.
"Kurosaki, Abarai," he says, glancing at Isshin, who grins at him. "I hear Kurosaki is to have a fight with Zaraki tonight."
"So Yachiru's already told you, huh?" I ask calmly, getting a cup of coffee.
"No, she's stuck posters around Seiretei."
"Oh."
"I expect you know that you ought to call this fight off, Kurosaki, the welfare of your daughter ought to come above your desire to fight," says Byakuya. I sigh.
"That's what I've been trying to tell him," says Renji, crossing his arms over his chest and scowling at me.
I sigh,
"It's just a fight. A spar. I can defeat him. Why's everyone making a huge deal outta it?"
""Cause no one wants you dead. Hisana'll end up with only me. And besides, only I should be allowed to kill ya."
"I'm. Not. Gonna. Die. End of story. C'mon, you guys should trust me enough to know I'm not gonna die on anyone."
I scowl at everyone, making mental plans to kill 'em all.
"Taicho!" calls Hinamori, rushing into my apartment. Yep, need that lock. "You're gonna fight Kenpachi, right?!"'
"Yes I am. No I'm not gonna die. I'm not calling the fight off either," I reply. Hinamori looks surprised, but then shakes her head.
"No, it's just that Ukitake-taicho asked if he could have the Academy students come. Says it'll be a great opportunity for them."
"Oh." I'm surprised. Hinamori's not bothered about me fighting. Awesome fukutaicho, did I tell you that? Extremely organised. Why'd Aizen want to betray her, I'm not sure. "Yeah," I add, shrugging, "It's fine. Have you checked with Kenpachi?"
"Of course," she replied, smiling, "He said just make sure they didn't pass out from the reiatsu. So, the Kido corps are going to set up a blockade." She grinned at me. I smiled, remembering Yamamoto's orders for me to force her into the Kido Corps. I had, and she was now the commander.
"Anyway," she said, heading to the door, "Good Luck, taicho!" With that, she rushed out.
"See," I say, turning back to the others, "That's how you're meant to react." With that, I turn and head to the door.
"Where are you going?" asks Renji.
Without turning around, I answer, "Get a bit of training... although," I add, remembering, "We have to find Hisana ...and Yachiru."
There's silence. I turn around slowly, and glance to the clock. "Damn," I mutter. All three Shinigami there raise an eyebrow. "We have just under fifteen minutes to find Yachiru, Renji, and return her to Kenpachi, unless you want him to hunt us down."
Renji gulps and follows me out of the apartment. Isshin and Byakuya follow.
Pausing, I close my eyes and soon find the unmistakable reiatsu of Yachiru's. So far, I haven't sensed anything from Hisana, and besides, Yachiru is, shock horror gasp, my primary concern. Yeah, having Kenpachi hunt you down is worse than fighting him. If he's hunting you down, he's pissed, and a pissed Kenpachi is worse than... anything you can think of. It's that bad.
Even Byakuya, who everyone's afraid of, knows better than to piss off Kenpachi. That's how scary he is. Only Unohana isn't scared of Kenpachi. She must have blackmail on him or anything, he's scared of her. Seriously. WTF?
Pfft. Anyway, so we rush after Yachiru's reiatsu, which is in Thirteenth Division. That's bad.
You know why?
'Cause of Ukitake. Yeah, Ukitake, taicho of Thirteenth, long white hair, student of Yama, one of the first students of the Academy, yadda yadda. He's really nice.
It just freaks out anyone when he's got Yachiru with him.
Why?
Ukitake has an endless store of candy. No one knows where he gets it from, or when he gets it, or anything, but we know what he does with it.
He gives the candy out.
To anyone who asks.
Toushiro gets candy regularly, which pisses the midget off, he doesn't like being treated like a kid even though he sure as hell looks like one. He does look slightly older, but not by much. He looks around twelve, eleven, maybe ten. He's got a serious problem with how he looks, and always acts older than his age. I know how he feels, we're both young, or look young, so we need to work harder to get everyone's respect. But seriously, you're left to wonder whether Toushiro actually has some random self esteem problem.
Anyway, candy + Yachiru serious problems. I'd rather fight Aizen again than deal with a sugar high Yachiru. That's how bad it gets.
We reach his office, and I can feel Yachiru's reiatsu along with Ukitake's. (In case you're wondering, I got better at feeling people's reiatsu from the Winter War, or the WW). Sighing, I turn to Renji, seeing as Isshin and Byakuya left us.
"Right, Yachiru's in there, possibly with candy, and probably on a sugar high. What are we gonna do?"
"You're creating a battle plan." He seems pretty stunned.
"What?"
"You never create a battle plan. I'll bet you'll go into the fight without a battle plan. Who are you and what have you done with Kurosaki?"
"Look, will you stop using my last name?" I ask, frustrated as hell. "And just shut up about the whole fight with Kenpachi thing. And, last, this is sugar high Yachiru we're talking about. Normal, she's a pain in the ass. Sugar high, that girl could send Byakuya into a mental health clinic." I glare at Renji before knocking on the door.
"Come in," calls Ukitake. I enter the room, followed a few minutes later by Renji. We find Yachiru and Hisana sitting the middle, surround by candy wrappers, empty, all of them. I know, the bulge of the candy is missing.
Oh bloody hell.
"Hey Hisana, Yachiru," I say weakly. I'm automatically glomped.
"Mummy!"
"Orangey!"
"ARGH!"
Yeah, kinda obvious who said what, ne?
"Hello, Ichigo-kun," said Ukitake, smiling at me calmly. I smile weakly.
"Hey, Ukitake," I reply, prying the two girls off me. "Now, Yachiru, you gotta go back to eleventh and see Kenpachi. Hisana, you're coming with me."
"Yay! Ken-chan!" squealed Yachiru. Honestly, she's the only person I know who'd actually want to see Kenpachi. "Oh, Hisana-chan, can you come?"
"NO WAY!" both Renji and I yell at the same time. We death glare, in order, Yachiru, Hisana, and then each other.
"Mummy! Daddy!" wails Hisana, grabbing our robes. "Lemme! Please!"
"Maybe it will be a good thing," said Ukitake before either Renji or me can say no, "She will need to meet all the Shinigami soon, especially since she will be living here. And, as Yachiru is friends with her, I don't think anyone will have the nerve to threaten, bully or in any way harm her."
I whimper. And glare at him. Because, hell, he wants us to take Hisana to the ELVENTH DIVISION! ELVENTH! The deadliest division in Soul Society!
"Please Mummy? Daddy?" whimpers Hisana. I sigh, and look at her.
And wish instantly that I didn't.
She's pulled out those puppy dog eyes, and they're on at full power. FULL power. ARGH! Why does she have to have such powerful puppy dog eyes?! I weaken at pathetic ones! Her's...NO!
"Fine," Renji and I grumble. Hisana and Yachiru cheer.
"Thank you Mummy! Daddy!" she cries, hugging us both before yanking on Yachiru's shoulder. "Where's Eleventh, Yachiru-chan?!"
"Yay! We gotta see Pachinko! And Feather Facey! Yay! C'mon Hisana-chan!" cheers Yachiru before shunpoing off with Hisana clinging tightly. Both were screaming in delight.
"Hang on!" yells Renji. "C'mon Ichigo! We gotta go after them!"
I'm dragged unceremoniously after Renji. Glancing back, I see Ukitake shaking his head, smiling. I shudder, and turn back.
"I can shupo myself, you know," I snap, detaching my arm from his grip. I can see people sniggering. Sick minded perverts.
Sighing, we shunpo to Elventh Division.
And hear screams.
"WTF?" mutters Renji, staring at the room where the screaming is coming from. "That's Ikkaku's room, I think."
"Yachiru," I answer. "And Hisana. C'mon."
We head into Ikkaku's room.
A/N: Yeah, I know. Not enough reviews… I was feeling kind… but mean enough to end this on a cliffhanger…Dun Dun Dunnn…what's gonna happen in Ikkaku's room?! Review and then ye shall discover the meaning to life!
Not.
Sooo… I'll keep my old limit of 35 reviews. Yeah. Seven reviews and I update. Ain't that nice?
I'm reading peroxidepest17's Bleach Drabbles. There's five hundred. 500. I'm only at 149. Gah. It's good though, you should read it.
After you've reviewed, of course.
Oh, and who wants me to write out Ken-chan and Ichi-chan's fight? I shall write it out, if ya want. Or if you're fine with me not writing it……
But many thanks to all who reviewed. Esp. Lia-Osaka 92, hanabi857, AZjanus, MizzMorris, fendstrat.chick, animemaster 62. You guys all reviewed constantly. Thanks!!
Disclaimer: own nothing save Hisana Masaki, the yaoi fangirls, and..that's it. Sadly… I wanna own Bleach!!
Soo… review. And I shall update. Happy?
It's a fair bargain. XD