Chap After Fighting the 11th division captain

I groan. And groan again. And then, I wake up. God, I feel like crap.

"What happened?" I ask.

"Kenpachi knocked you out," answers Renji, from where he's sitting in a chair.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"Isshin wouldn't leave, apparently I had to 'stay with my partner'," he replies, sounding disgusted.

I groan again, and fall back onto the bed, rubbing my head. I find bandages but ignore them, having had bandages around my head way too many times for me to worry about them now. Looking up, I ask,

"What happened to Kenpachi?"

"He got knocked out too. Still out, from what I heard."

Unohana chooses that moment to breeze in.

"I see you are awake, Kurosaki," she remarks. She checks over my injuries, a couple of cuts to my arms, and legs, a gash in my stomach, and a cut to my head. Bruises all over, and a sprained wrist, as well. Damn it.

"Hmm, not too bad. Have no idea what you were thinking, fighting that oaf of a Taichou, but at least you're not injured badly. Or knocked out, or in a coma, or dead. Kenpachi doesn't know when to stop, that bastard. No idea why he was made a Taichou, Yamamoto shouldn't have let him, he killed his former Taichou after all. Honestly, Ichigo, extremely stupid to fight that oaf, you should never have done so. Well, you're fine, I can let you go - it says something that you're the first patient who's ever been let go the day after their fight with Kenpachi, doesn't it?"

I stare at Unohana in open mouth shock. Hell? She's ranting on and on about Kenpachi, and it is kinda scary...

"Um, Unohana? You okay?" Renji ask.

"Of course I am! Why wouldn't I be?" she asks sternly. Renji gulps and shakes his head.

I get out of my bed and stretch tiredly, picking at the plain clothes I've been placed in for my stay at Fourth. Unohana tosses me my clean clothes from yesterday as she leaves, and after kicking Renji out, I change into them. Then, after tidying up the room a bit, I leave with Renji.

"Where's Hisana?" I ask.

"Sleeping over at Eleventh."

"WHAT!?" I demand. Why's Hisana sleeping over at Eleventh?! She's too young to sleep over, and it's Eleventh! She shouldn't be allowed.

"Yeah, Yachiru dragged Hisana away after your fight ended, and next thing I know, Ikkaku's telling me that they arranged a sleepover while you were having a breakdown."

"And you didn't stop them!?"

"Hey, do I look like I wanna be assaulted by that pink haired devil?"

"But..." I trail off miserably.

"Look, we got a letter from Yama; he wants us to introduce Hisana to every division."

"WHAT!?" I explode, louder than last time. Half the Shinigami turn to face me, suspicion and amusement on all of their faces. I shoot them all murderous death glares, at which all of them promptly return to whatever they were doing.

"What. Did. You. Say?" I demand again, this time in a lower voice.

"Yama. Wants. Us. To. Take. Hisana. To. Every. Division. Don't. Know. Why. Said. Something. About. Getting. Her. To. Meet. Every. Division," he replies. "That easy enough for you to understand?"

I groan as I wrench open the door to my house. Okay, I should probably describe my house more, ne? I basically only use the top floor, 'cause it has a nice view. The bottom floor is basically not used. The building used to be a small apartment block, but Seireitei was so pleased by what I did in the Winter War that they gave me the entire building. Anyone who protested was told to head off and kill Aizen. Anyway, so I only use the top floor. I have a garden too, a pretty nice one, with a pond in the middle and trees around it.

I take one look in the house, shake my head, and head back outside. Renji rolls his eyes and follows me.

"So when do we start?" I ask, dumping myself on a bench. Renji sits next to me, and shrugs.

"Whenever we want, I suppose," he replies. I sigh.

"Okay, it's Thursday today. We start tomorrow, with Second. Then Saturday, I wanna meet Karin and Yuzu, then Sunday, Isshin said something about a family party," I shudder, "Then Monday, we can get started with Third, and yadda yadda."

"Great," Renji says unenthusiastically. I shrug, and absently lean against him, wincing as a bruise on my back makes its presence known.

"You okay?" he asks.

"Never been better," I reply, sarcasm working in quickly. Sighing, I come to a decision, and stand, "Right, I'm going back to that training place where I got Ban Kai, there's a healing spring there." Renji nods, and stands.

"I'll go with you."

"You know, you don't have to come with me to everywhere," I reply.

"MY SON! YOU ARE OKAY!" exclaims Isshin, bounding into the garden. I death glare the bastard.

"What do you want, Isshin?" I ask.

"I am your father, dear Ichigo! Address me as Dad!"

"No. You're too embarrassing."

"Oh! Why do teenagers have to be so picky! So fussy! So against their poor parents!" he wails pathetically.

I roll my eyes and leave for the healing spring, making sure to knock out Isshin while I'm at it.

"Ahhh," I say happily as I sink into the healing spring and lean back. "Ooh, this feels good."

"You're being feminine."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!?" I explode, slapping Renji, who's sitting opposite me.

"Mood swings," he remarks. "You pregnant or PMS?"

"Renji?"

"Yeah?"

"Die."

"Sure," he says, unbothered. When he sees my raised eyebrow, he shrugs. "What? I get death threats all the time."

"Okay," I say weakly. "Anyway, did you get my manga?"

"What manga?"

"BASTARD!" I cry, slapping him again. "There should've been a manga on the doorstep! Did you get it?"

"Oh, right. Yeah, I did."

"Good," I reply. Now satisfied, l lean back against the wall, sighing as the water continues to fix my bruises and cuts.

"Why?" asks Renji, turning to face me.

"Oh, people have been known to steal Naruto manga if it's left out. Shows how obsessed people get. Probably just the fangirls, anyway."

"Oh no, Byakuya's obsessed as well," he says calmly. "Only don't go trying to blackmail him over it. He'll just Senbonzakura you."

"Senbonzakura isn't a word," I say. "It's a noun, seeing as it's the name of Byakuya's Zanpakuto."

"Y'know, half the captains' Zanpakuto's' names are used as verbs and not nouns," Renji replies. "There's Hitsugaya's, Matsumoto goes on about how she'll be 'Hyōrinmaru'ed'. People say they wanna be 'Zangetsu'ed' and others say they'd prefer being 'Zabimaru'ed'. You get what I'm saying?"

"That the level of Japanese has dropped in Soul Society? Yes," I say. Renji rolls his eyes, and leans back, enjoying the water. I eye him; he has his hair out and falling down around him, looking kinda...cute.

No. Did not say that. No way.

"Oh, and I wanted to know, Ichigo?" asks Renji, opening one eye. "Why did we make Hisana a Kurosaki when I'm meant to be the father?"

"Because, unlike you, I have a father who's gonna go bonkers if Hisana isn't a Kurosaki, and do you wanna see Isshin go bonkers?"

"He's already bonkers, Ichi," Renji replies.

"Even more bonkers. Yes, it is possible," I add, seeing his dubious expression. "Why'd you wanna know, anyway?"

"Che, some random Shinigami asked me yesterday. I figured I had no idea myself. So I asked you."

"Right," I muttered. Shrugging, we both fall into silence. Then, I fall asleep.

--

Isshin smiled manically, and glanced at Byakuya who was grinning himself. They turned their attention to Ichigo and Renji, who were both sleeping in the healing spring.

Ichigo was laying on Renji's chest. Renji had his arms wrapped tightly around the teenager, and was resting his head on Ichigo's shoulder, almost nuzzling the boy's neck.

Ichigo, on the other hand, was turned slightly, so that he could easily rest his hand on Renji's shoulder, and was resting his own head in the crook of Renji's neck. His other arm was wrapped around the red haired Taichou.

"This is too good," muttered Byakuya. Isshin nodded in happy agreement.

--

"Ooh, what happened?" Renji murmurs, waking me. I stir as well, and eye our position, before groaning, and falling back onto Renji. "Oi, Ichi, don't you hate it when we wake up like this?" he asks.

"Shut up," I mutter. "I'm tired, I fought Kenpachi yesterday, and I feel like crap. Lemme sleep," I grumble, almost falling asleep. Renji laughs, and starts to play with my hair. "Stop it," I mutter, slapping his hand away, or trying to anyway. Not easy, really, with our position.

That's when Renji starts to massage my shoulders.

"Ahh, thanks, Pineapple," I mutter, smiling as we shift into a better position. Now, I'm against the wall, and Renji's on top of me, massaging my shoulders. "When'd you learn massaging?"

"Rukongai, Rukia always insisted on being massaged. All the guys loved to massage her back. I wasn't one o' them, but I learnt how to."

"She was treated like a princess," I remark, but sigh happily and fall asleep again, with Renji now massaging the upper part of my back.

--

"They're so cute together," murmured Isshin as he took more pictures. Byakuya shook his head in amazement but smiled at the thought of all this blackmail.

--

An hour later, I wake up again. And again, I'm in Renji's arms, and we're in the healing spring. Sighing, I pry Renji's arms off me, and get dressed.

Then I consider waking Renji. Then I remember that he gets pissed if someone wakes him, so I decide not to. And so, leaving Renji in the spring, I shunpo home.

Sighing, I drop onto the couch and fall asleep again.

And, another hour later, I wake up again to see a very pissed of Renji.

"Oh, hey Pineapple."

"Ichigo," he says angrily, glaring at me.

"Err, yeah?" I ask weakly, backing into the couch, eyeing my Zanpakuto, which was on the coffee table, behind Renji.

"You left me in the healing spring."

"You were sleeping, I decided not to disturb you."

"Oh, and I suppose that's a valid reason for me having to undergo Isshin yelling at me?"

"Huh?"

"He told me not to let you out of my sight lest I 'face his fatherly wrath'. I've spent the better part of the last hour listening to him yelling with Byakuya watching."

"Oh."

"Bastard," he growls, poking me in the shoulder. He falls onto the couch, and slides under the beige blanket.

"Oi," I say, grinning, "My Blanky."

"WHAT?" yells Renji, falling off the couch and staring at me. "Blanky?"

Naturally, he takes the blanket with him, and I end up on top of him. We sigh, and he remarks,

"We gotta stop doing that." I nod in agreement before dropping my head onto his chest with a sigh. He shakes his head and ruffles my hair. I slap his hand away.

--

Isshin turned to Byakuya, with a Gin-style smile.

"I told you bugging their lounge was a good idea."

--

Sighing, I pick myself off Renji and we stand, only to fall back onto the couch.

"Get a feeling we forgot something?" I ask suddenly. There's something ...wrong. Like the apartment's too empty, or something. Renji frowns and nods. Suddenly, he looks at me.

"Hisana."

"Oh God," I mutter, letting my head fall into my hands.

We shunpo over to Eleventh, only to find it on fire.

"What the hell?" I demand. "I thought...it was impossible to set buildings on fire here!"

"Che, this is Eleventh," says Kenpachi, appearing next to us. "This your idea of a home welcoming present guys?!"

"Hai... er No! Taichou! Um, well, we were..."

"Concentrating so much on fighting you didn't notice the fire and therefore could not put it out?" suggests Renji drily, passing them. "Anyone seen Hisana?"

"Hai, exactly what Abarai-fukutaicho said, Taichou!" stammers the Shinigami. Kenpachi shrugs.

"Mummy! Daddy!" cries Hisana, running around a corner and literally glomping us. "I had so much fun!"

"Glad you did, Hisana, now time to go home," I say.

"But...."

"You've had an entire day, Hisana. Surely you've done whatever you've wanted to do?"

"Well, but..."

"Hisana. We are going home."

"Why didn't you pick her up earlier? You were discharged this morning," says Ikkaku, appearing and staring suspiciously at us.

"Well, we got...side tracked?"

"You were too busy screwing each other mindless?"

"NO!" I snap.

"Yeah, sure."

"Shuddup," says Renji. "Who did this fire, anyway?"

"Yachiru...and Hisana. Told you she was a danger to all Shinigami everywhere."

"And what about Yachiru?" I ask.

"She's not a danger to all Shinigami everywhere," snaps Kenpachi. I sigh.

"And what exactly started this fire?"

"A bunch of cakes that were being baked, but which Yachiru and Hisana forgot about. Then, they tried to light firecrackers, and then decided to play 'firefighters'. Wouldn't let anyone else deal with the fires. Miracle they're not injured."

"Right," I say. "Well... We're going home, Hisana."

"But... can I say bye to Yachiru-chan?!"

"Ohh, fine," Renji snaps. I sigh, and flop onto the ground. Renji joins me, and we wait for Hisana to come back.

"So," I say, "Where will you guys stay?"

"Che, there's spare rooms nearby 'specially designed for this sorta thing."

"I'm not surprised -GAH! WHAT IS THAT THING!?" I yell, leaping to my feet and backwards as a rocket launches at us.

"Yay!" yells Yachiru chasing after the rocket. Hisana follows her, and then launches her own one. A large white trail of sparks launch into the air. Laughing, Hisana chases after them, and falls back onto the ground and grins as she watches the sparks turn into a large white roaring dragon. Laughing, she falls back and claps her hands.

"What's going on!?" exclaims Hitsugaya, appearing with a Zanpakuto drawn.

"Hey Toushiro," I say weakly. He eyes me.

"Explain," he says.

"Well," says Renji. "Let's see. Eleventh Division Barracks are burnt down. Yachiru and Hisana have got fire crackers and lighting them all over the place. Other than that, nothin'."

"Where are you staying?"

"Spare rooms. Yama ordered them after ...last time."

Hitsugaya is significantly more relieved at that. I grimace. Last time, the Eleventh Division camped out at Tenth, and...well, there wasn't much left of Tenth Division offices or barracks after that.

"Yay! Whitey Shorty!"

"New nickname for Whitey!" announces Yachiru. "Let's see...Shiro-chan is used way too much. Hmm, Shiro-...What? I can't think of anything!"

"Lil' Icicle! Icicle-chan!" suggests Hisana, bouncing up and down. Hitsugaya stares at them, mortified. I bite back a laugh, and so does Renji, Kenpachi, and well, just about everyone there.

"Yeah! Icicle-chan! Whitey Shorty, you are now Icicle-chan!"

"WHAT!?" he demands. Automatically, the temperature drops. Hisana and Yachiru are encased in ice. I stare as Hitsugaya growls at them and then storms away.

"Oi!" Renji yells. "Unfreeze them, Hitsugaya!"

"No."

"Do it!" I growl, storming after him.

"Why?"

"Oh, for God's sake, Hitsugaya, grow up. Who cares about a stupid nickname? Unfreeze them already."

"No."

I pick him up by the scruff of his neck and growl into his face. "Unfreeze Hisana, then."

"Over protective mother, aren't you?" he replies, but unfreezes Hisana anyway. I drop him onto the ground in retaliation for that, and scowl at him.

"If I was over protective, I wouldn't be raising her here, at any rate," I say. Hitsugaya nods in agreement, and leaves. I turn back and find Renji picking up a shivering Hisana from a puddle of water.

Waving goodbye to the others, Renji and I shunpo home, with Renji carrying Hisana. At home, Renji changes Hisana's clothes, picking out a dry pair of pajamas. I make soup and feed it to her, after we stick her in bed. She soon falls asleep.

I re-enter the lounge to find Renji eating some of the soup.

"Hm," he says. "Nice. When'd you learn to cook?"

"I have too younger sisters, Renji, and a crazy father. My mum's dead. Normally, Yuzu'd cook all the meals, but if she was sleeping over at someone's house or whatever, we'd have to cook all the meals. Karin wouldn't, Isshin can't be trusted, hell, he blew up the kitchen once, so I ended up cooking."

"How many cases of food poisoning?" asks Renji, grinning. I roll my eyes and slap him.

He laughs and pulls me onto the couch next to him. I roll my eyes again, but stay there, leaning against the couch staring aimlessly at the wall opposite me.

I'm gonna describe my lounge room, because for five minutes, we did nothing.

It's basically an open space, with the kitchen adjoining it, and the dining room on one side, the side opposite the door. I have three couches arranged in a square sort of shape, with one side without any couches. That side faces the kitchen. Then, in the middle I have a rug and a coffee table.

"Hey, 'Berry-"

"Don't call me that."

"Whatever," replies Renji, "We should start thinking about using the bottom floor. Seeing as you have two people staying here full time, you'll need the extra space."

"Oh...Yeah," I say weakly. I had picked myself off the back of the couch to yell at him for using the name 'Berry' but now I fell back again. "You're being thoughtful, though, Renji. Sure you're the same person?" I grin at him.

"Shut-Shut up! I can be thoughtful!"

"Sure you can."

"Stop changing the subject," he snaps, looking flustered. I smirk. "Anyway, what do you wanna do?"

I sigh. "Nothing, right now." He scowls at me. "Okkayyy, um, I dunno. Did you bring in all of your stuff?"

"Changing the subject again, Ichi-Berry, and yeah."

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" I snap, hitting him again. He grabs my wrist, and then entwines his fingers with mine as he brings it down.

"Don't hit your boyfriend, Ichigo," he says, grinning. I scowl at him, and attempt to yank my hand free. He's holding it too tightly though, so I sigh and lean back.

"Fine," I snap. "Seeing as you're in such a thoughtful mood right now, what do you reckon?"

"I think," he says, "we should move all my couches, cases, and all that stuff into the bottom floor, and demolish all the rooms except for a spare bedroom and bathroom, and maybe a kitchen. We can use it as something of a party thing, or something. Here, we can leave it, but maybe create a play space or something here in this room," he gestures around, "and leave it like that. Oh, do you have a spare bedroom, or something we can put her in?"

I stare blankly at Renji with my lower jaw somewhere on the ground.

"What?" he asks defensively. He scowls at me, but doesn't cross his arms over his chest, leaving his hand entwined with mine, which disappoints me.

"You...you actually...that...was...WHAT THE HELL!? Who are you and what have you done to Renji!?" I demand, waving my arms in the air. "That...was! Smart! Actually...wise! Argh!"

"Oi!" he yells, grabbing me with his spare hand. "I am smart! You just...don't..."

"You're so different..." I sniff.

"Well do we agree, or not?" he asks. I scowl at him.

"Not until we get you checked over. You're clearly not healthy, probably sick or something," I sniff. "You're clearly not the Renji we all know and love."

The moment I say that, I wish I hadn't. A purely evil grin appeared on Renji's face, and he was smirking as he pulled me closer to him.

"The Renji we all know and love, Ichi? What was with that?" he asks, grinning predatorily. I sigh, and look away.

"Expression. A famous one, too. I should've said, 'we all know and hate' or something."

"Really?" asks Renji, pulling me closer until I'm sitting on his lap. I look at him, and shrug. He raises an eyebrow.

"Really," I say.

He pushes me against the back of the chair and sits on my lap facing me, arms pressed against either side of my head. I look up at his face, resting my arms against his chest.

"You sure?"

--

Isshin cackled madly as he watched from the safety of his own house.

--

"Mummy? Daddy? What are you doing?" asks Hisana, appearing, playing with her pajamas, eyeing us.

Mortified, I push Renji away as I sit up. Renji blushes, a deep red as bright as his hair. I stumble off the couch and walk to Hisana.

"No, he's not. What did you want, Hisana?"

"Are you angry with me, Mummy? Did I interrupt something?"

"No, I'm not angry, Hisana. And no, you didn't interrupt anything. Now, do you wanna go back to bed?"

"I want a drink first," replies Hisana. I pick her up as Renji grabs milk from the kitchen and pours it into a glass. Hisana gulps it down, and then grins at me, with a milk moustache.

I wipe it off as I take her back to bed. Then, yawning, I fall asleep too, deciding not to think about what just happened.

Or, rather, what was about to happen.

A/N: snigger Yes! I AM BACK! THE WORLD CAN REVOLVE AGAIN!

But not here for long. sob I'm having internet problems, which means i can't read as much fanfiction, or upload. Plus I'm busy. Gah. Anyway. So, yeah. I apologise for the general crappiness of this chapter, but I had the ailment all authors fear. ... dun dun dun... writer's block. I HATE IT! But, there shall be humour in the next chapter, which I might post now...Yeah. I will. Maybe. Um, and after that, another mostly humour couple of chapters, and then some (slightly angsty) ichiren chapters. As in Mainly ichiren. So look forward to it!!