Chapter Meet the Rest o' the Family, Hisana
I think I put down one of the reasons why I was pissed at the start of this as being that Karin and Yuzu were at the academy, ne?
Well, even if I didn't, it was. Karin and Yuzu are at the academy.
It's not full time, they're still alive. But every weekend, Karin and Yuzu head up here and go to the academy. Because of their personalities, the teachers at the academy figured out this training thing.
Yuzu's supposed to be a kido master, so she's getting special training from Hinamori (aka the Queen of Kido aka Hitsugaya's girlfriend aka the girl who's been known to help Nanao trap Shunsui in his chair with a bunch of kido spells so he has to do his paperwork). Karin's supposed to be good at anything and everything to do with Zanpakuto's, and she was meant to get training from Kenpachi...Until Isshin and I found out. Hell, even Isshin said no. (You can kind of imagine what I did, ne? Yelled at Chojiro for ten straight minutes until he told me that Isshin had already seen him, and Chojiro had put a stop to that training.)
Anyway, so it's the weekend. And I'm being dragged to the Academy with Renji and Hisana ('my family') by Isshin Therefore I cannot spend 'quality time' with 'dear, sweet Renji' as Yama wanted. And no, I'm not upset, I'm not. And don't tell me I'm in denial. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I should really stop with the 'I'm not's right?
"This is gonna be so much fun!" cries Isshin happily, grinning at us. Hisana laughs, and bounces to Isshin, and then jumps onto him, so she's sitting on his shoulder Yachiru-style.
Yeah, she's definitely spent too much time with that pink-haired devil.
I sigh, and glance at Renji, who grimaces, and catches up to me. We walk side by side behind a ridiculously happy Isshin and Hisana.
"Oh, does my son and my soon-to-be-son-in-law want some time alone!?" cries Isshin, looking at us with a mischievously happy grin. Scowling, I shunpo towards him, backhand him, and then shunpo back to Renji.
Did I mention how much I love shunpo?
Renji grins, and loops an arm around my shoulders which I don't bother to knock off.
"So are we allowed to meet these sisters of yours?" asks Renji. I glance at him, raising an eyebrow. "I mean, don't they have classes?"
"'Cause they only have two days a week when they're actually at the Academy, Karin and Yuzu get special classes most o' the time, unless there's group stuff they have to do. Those go all day, starting at nine, stopping at twelve, starting at one again, and ending at five. It's seven now, so we get there at seven thirty, spend one and a half hours with 'em, stop for their classes so we can head off for three hours, or watch and laugh." Renji raises an eyebrow at me, and I grin at him. "C'mon, they're training. We have laughing privileges." He rolls his eyes. "Then we join 'em for an hour lunch, and then stop for their classes. Then we can see them again afterwards."
"Right. So what are we going to do?"
"Isshin wants them to meet you and Hisana, which I'm dreading," I reply. "Then, well, what do you want to do?"
"I'm guessing Yoruichi will drag us to that teddy bear/stuffed animal stall thingamabob. Or, we can just walk in the woods or whatnot."
"I think I'll have explored every inch of that forest soon," I mutter. Laughing, Renji tugs me closer and we continue to the Academy.
There, we find a nice large tree to sit under to wait for my family. Great.
"Sooooo!" yells Isshin, bounding over to us. "When's the wedding, my sons?!"
"I'm not your son," says Renji. "Thank god for that," he adds.
"But soon you shall be!"
"Your son-in-law," says Renji matter-of-factly, leaning against the tree and looking at Isshin calmly. Then he tugs me onto his lap.
Damned bastard.
I glare up at Renji, who's calmly rested a hand on my head, and is now running his hands through my hair. Isshin's eyes widen and his mouth drops open.
"My sons show public displays of affection!" he cries happily. "Oh my son now agrees to show affection to another man in public! Thank you to my new son for drawing out that side of him!"
See why I now longer than call Isshin my dad? He's EMBARRASSING!
Glaring at Renji, I try to haul myself off Renji's lap, but the moron leans down and
...
He did not just do that.
And I definitely did not enjoy it. No way. Nuh uh. Definitely not.
Renji just kissed my forehead.
"Play along, 'kay? I wanna give him a heart attack, he murmurs into my ear, before grinning at me, and straightening up.
Scowling at him, I shrug, and groan as I turn my attention to Isshin, who's almost screaming in joy.
"Oh my!" he wails. "Oh!" he sniffs happily. "My two sons are so romantically in love! I must share this with Masaki!"
Hisana stares at Isshin for a few seconds, before slapping him.
"Goat Face," she snaps, "Shut up. Mummy and Daddy do that all the time!"
We. Do. Not.
But Isshin's never gonna listen to that.
And I'm not supposed to say that anyway.
Damn Renji.
Where are Yuzu and Karin anyway?
Sighing, I lean back against Renji (and it's not comfortable. No. It's not.) and wait for them to come.
"Hi Ichi-nii! Hi Dad!" says Yuzu happily, sitting next to me. I grin at her from Renji's lap, and note that the Academy uniform actually looks okay on her.
I can already see the guys drooling over her.
I hope they die in hell.
Karin just nods at us before dumping herself opposite me, and starts to stare suspiciously at Renji, whose hand is in my hair.
He pulls it out, and lets me, finally, sit up.
"How's the Academy?" I ask.
"Did you go there?" asks Yuzu, looking at us. Hisana pouts, and jumps into my lap.
"Are you gonna introduce us?" he asks, glaring at me.
"Renji, stop using slang in front of Hisana, it's not good for her Japanese," I say. Renji rolls his eyes, and slaps my head, fondly. "Anyway," I continue, "Yuzu, Karin, my daughter, Hisana, and, my soon to be husband, sadly, Renji."
"Aren't you the Taichou of Ninth Division?" asks Yuzu. I can see the hero warship already. God, they should really teach the students at the Academy not to hero worship. We've had enough problems with hero worship without our new students also hero worshipping.
Although I can see why anyone would hero worship Renji.
Hang on.
No. Did not ...did not think that. No way.
No one would hero worship Renji! NO ONE!
I can feel a sweat drop on my face, but quickly stop it.
"Right, anyway," says Karin, staring suspiciously at the three of us.
Hisana frowns at her, and I'm instantly worried.
"You!" she announces to Karin, "Can be Grumpy Face Aunty. And you," she points to Yuzu, "Can be Kindy Face Aunty."
Mouths dropping open, both my sisters turn to face me.
"What the hell?" asks Karin.
"She gives people nicknames...or adopts the ones Yachiru uses," Renji explains. Yuzu and Karin nod in understanding... Guess Yachiru's already made her presence known. I'm not surprised. Guess all the academy students are scarred for life.
"She's scary," murmurs Yuzu, staring at the grass.
"Who? Me or Yachiru-chan?" asks Hisana, bouncing to her and dumping herself in Yuzu's lap. Grinning, Yuzu begins to stroke Hisana's back, while Hisana sighs happily, and leans against my sister.
"Yachiru," replies Yuzu. "She's always so...happy. Like she's on a constant high. Does she ever get tired?"
"She's just extremely fit," says Karin, suddenly grinning. "Muscle endurance-"
"Oh for god's sake, don't!" cries Yuzu, covering her ears in mock horror. "Did enough of horrible health fitness components already, I don't need anymore!"
"Karin, don't tease Yuzu like that1" scolds Isshin. "Now, why haven't my two daughters greeted me properly!"
"Hi Goat Face," says Karin.
"No! I meant with a hug! Like my two sons!" exclaims Isshin. Yuzu and Karin both turn to face us, with similar faces of disbelief.
"We didn't hug him," I say.
"Thought so," says Karin. I raise an eyebrow, lean back against Renji, and yawn.
"Is my son tired?! Did he do something last night that made him tired, or even sore!?" exclaims Isshin, leaning towards us. Yuzu and Karin both gag, while Hisana just looks confused.
"No!" I yell at him. "God, don't even imply that, especially with Hisana around!"
Bloody !# of a father.
"What!? What was he talking about?" demands Hisana, staring at us.
"Well, you see, when two men ma-ARGH! I'm being choked to death!" yells Isshin, when I plaster my hand over his mouth.
"Did you hear nothing of what I said?" I ask him angrily, banging his head repeatedly against the tree.
"Gerri me!" he says, voice muffled against my hand. I get Isshin's saliva all over my hand.
"Gross," I mutter, wiping that hand on my pants, letting go of Isshin. It's a sign of how thick his skull is that he's not really hurt.
"Whoa, for a moment, I thought you might kill him," Renji mutters.
"I'd get into too much trouble for it to be worth it," I reply casually, returning to my unbelievably comfortable position against him.
Yuzu and Karin are unbothered and Hisana is just ... Hisana.
"Oh," she says suddenly, "Demon Cat says that she'll take us out to the teddy-bear store tomorrow, Mummy, Daddy."
Karin raises an eyebrow at us. "Mummy? Daddy?"
"Yeah! Strawberry is Mummy, and Pineapple is Daddy!" she explains.
Karin's eyes widen, and she gapes at us, clearly not believing a word of what Hisana just said. "What. The. Hell?" she asks.
"Don't ask. It was Hisana," I reply.
"But..."She stammers. I raise an eyebrow at her.
"And you think I'm happy with it?" I ask.
Karin falls silent before shrugging. I turn to Yuzu, waiting for her reaction. God, this is like going through complaints from Shinigami under you in your division....actually.
"Which divisions are you thinking of joining? Eleventh is banned for both of you," I add. Karin and Yuzu both scowl at me.
"Well, it depends on what I'm good at," Yuzu says finally. "I mean, I think Fourth might be nice, but then again, I might not."
"What about my division?" I ask, grinning at them. They both stare at me, before shaking their heads furiously. So much for sibling love. "Yeah, thought so," I say finally.
Rolling her eyes, Karin leans back against the grass. "So remind me why we're here?"
"This is your first weekend, right?" I ask. She nods. "Well, I have massive amounts of reiatsu, which has been known to affect the people around me..."My voice trails off as I think of Hisana, "Anyway, you've been around me since you were born, so naturally, Seireitei assumes you've been affected, aka, you both have reiatsu, and Yama, before he went psycho, decided it'd be good to get you both when you're young, and ensure that no other Kurosaki decides to attack them later."
Renji snickers while Karin and Yuzu roll their eyes at me. Hisana just looks confused, and Isshin's just smiling as he leans against the tree and watches us.
"So, it's your fault we're here?" asks Karin.
"Do you not want to be here with your brother?" I ask.
"Course I don't wanna be here. I could be playing soccer, for one thing. C'mon, this can't be every weekend." Karin looks pleadingly at us, obviously having decided that since I'm a Taichou, I can intervene.
"Well," I say slowly, "I might be able to reduce it to once every second weekend, but then you'd have to come in during the holidays."
"Holidays!?" demands Karin. "Yuck!"
"Well, you have three options," says Renji. "One's to come in every weekend. The other is to come in every second weekend but have to do it for double the time. The third's to come in every second weekend and for the holidays, and get it over and done with quicker."
Karin scowls at Renji. "And you were given the right to tell us what to do when?"
I sigh as Renji replies, "Well, two things. A) I'm marrying your brother, Karin. B) I wasn't telling you what to do; I was just outlining your options."
"Shut up," mutters Karin, crossing her arms. Rolling my eyes, I turn to Yuzu. She's a whole lot damn nicer than Karin, not that that's a very hard thing to be.
"What about you, Yuzu?"
"I'll probably do the holidays and come in every weekend. It'll be easier, and quicker."
My mouth drops open. God, this girl's got guts. Coming in that often when you don't have to, and mixing with Shinigami of your own free will. She's brave. Praise the girl.
Yes, I'm praising Yuzu for coming to mix with us Shinigami of her own free will. Which is sad, I know.
"My daughter wants to visit me more often! Isn't that so sweet of her?!" yells Isshin, leaping across and attempting to glomp Yuzu...
I used 'glomp'. God, I thought only rabid fangirls did that....
"Who said anything about wanting to visit you?" asks Karin, slamming her foot into Isshin's stomach. Isshin groans, slight theatrics there, and rolls onto the ground, sighing.
"My daughter attacks me! How sad is that! She hates me!"
"You attacked me?!" I exclaim, rising and glaring at him. "Isn't that bloody sad?!"
"Language!" snaps Hisana, kicking my ankle. Scowling, and slightly humiliated, I return to my seat next to Renji, crossing my arms over my chest.
Grinning, Renji punches my arm lightly. "Yes, Ichi-Berry, watch your lang-"
"I told you not to call me that!" I snap at him, cutting across his reprimand. Karin's eyes widen and she stifles laughter for a few minutes before failing miserably.
"Ichi-Berry - haven't heard that one!" she laughs.
Growling, I playfully slap my sister, while sending death glares to Renji who's laughing himself. Hisana looks worryingly thoughtful while Yuzu is sniggering quietly.
"I should tell Yachiru-chan that new nickname!" exclaims Hisana suddenly.
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
"Don't," I say calmly, which is nothing like what I'm feeling inside, which is all out panic.
"Why?" asks Hisana.
"She'd spread it around Soul Society, and everyone will call me that and it'll be embarrassing," I say.
"So?"
"Well, I don't wanna be embarrassed."
"But it's a nice name!"
"No. It really isn't."
"But it is!"
"No, it's not, and Renji's gonna get punished for even thinking of it," I add, glaring at the infuriatingly smirking Pineapple.
"Ooh!" exclaims Isshin, gazing at us with huge eyes and a scarily delighted smile. "I think this is gonna mean no bed time adventures for you Ren-"
Renji and I reach an unspoken truce and pummel Isshin into the ground.
"What did he mean?" asks Hisana. Yuzu and Karin glance at each other, and then, in unison speak.
"We think we have to get going now, classes, breakfast, you know," they say hastily. Without another sound, both girls dash off into the Academy.
"That was quick," I remark casually, pointedly ignoring Hisana's question.
"Mummy!" she wails. "I wanna know what Isshin meant!"
"He meant nothing," says Renji, sitting down. He yanks me onto his lap, so I end up landing unceremoniously on top of Renji. Wrapping his arms around me, he glances at Hisana. "At any rate, when are we going shopping with, "he winces, "Yoruichi and Soi Fon?"
"Oh that's tomorrow!" replies Hisana, shrugging. She grins at us, I sweat drop. "We're going to go to Rukongai, and visit a couple of stores there, and then we're going to go to the real world, and to stores there, and then Demon Cat says she has some clothes of her own that I might like! It's going to be the best ever!"
"Great," I say unenthusiastically. "Remember we have to get back by six."
"Yeah, yeah, we will!" she replies. "Actually, can I go back to Demon Cat's house, I wanna see if I can look at the stuff now."
"Sure, go ahead," I say unwillingly, not wanting to reveal just how weak I am to the power of the Puppy Dog Eyes. Enough people (think Hinamori, Hisana, Renji) know all about that.
Renji glances at me.
"Gonna grumble about sitting in my lap?" he asks.
"What's the point?" I reply. It's one of my favorite tactics, reply to questions with a question. You get more time to think of an answer. It always works.
"That's never stopped you before," he replies. I shrug.
"Let's go for a walk," he says suddenly. Pushing me off him, he stands up, grabs my hand and yanks me to my feet.
"Why?" I ask.
"A) It's a nice forest, b) walking is good for you, and c) we get away from that father of yours," he explains.
"The only reason I liked was c, to get away from Isshin," I mutter. Renji grins, and pulls me along the path. We ignore the groaning, bleeding, near-unconscious Isshin. Who'd care about that?
For the next two hours, we walk around the forest, which is actually quite well lit, nice, and generally okay. Shock. Horror. Gasp.
For a Shinigami maintained forest, it's kinda scary. I mean, you'd expect it to be... I dunno. Kinda destroyed, thanks to people like Eleventh Division. By the way, did you hear? Yumichika apparently decided to do this entire 'let's clean up every member in Eleventh' yesterday. Apparently, it took one long hour to clean up Kenpachi.
I think I'm going feminine, with all this gossip talk. Yuck... No offence to any girls...PLEASE DON'T KILL ME FOR BEING SEXIST! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!
"Let's sit down," mutters Renji, dropping to the ground and falling back to lie on his back. Rolling my eyes, I sit down next to him.
"Did we bring lunch?" I ask.
"No."
"Damn." I pause, and the shrug. "Che. Seeing as this is a Shinigami maintained forest, there'll probably be a restaurant somewhere."
"Or I can eat Strawberry."
I slap him. Hard.
Actually, I try to. He grabs my wrist. Goddamned Bastard Pineapple.
"Don't slap your soon-to-be husband."
"Bastard."
I slap his wrist. Well, again, I try to. He grabs my other wrist.
Goddamned Bastard Jerk of a Pineapple.
He yanks me onto his lap. Gah. Again.
"What is it with you and having me on your lap?" I ask.
"Well, ya see, it's kinda cold, and you're a very nice blanket."
"You're a good pillow," I mutter, partly in retaliation, and partly because it's true.
"Gees, thanks. All I get I thanked for these days is for being a good pillow."
"Yep." I'm feeling kinda drowsy, and lean against him, nearly asleep. Renji wraps his arms around my waist, and rolls onto his side, curling up next to me.
We fall asleep.
--
Isshin grinned as he saw the young couple, though they wouldn't consider themselves a couple, sleeping in the grass of the clearing. Oh, he'd wake them up later and get beaten up, but now...now was photo time! He'd always loved taking photo shoots. With unsuspecting couples, of course.
--
"My sons! Why did you leave your beloved father behind?! I wake up, and none of my children are there! Why am I not loved? Masaki could explain, but she is not here! Ichiiiigoooo! Rennnnnjiiii - am I interrupting something?" Isshin exclaims as he walks up to us. Drowsily, I wake, and find myself staring right into Isshin's face.
And no, it's NOT a good thing to see when you've just woken up. In fact, I'd say it's worse than seeing Yachiru when you wake up, which is worse than seeing a manically grinning Aizen, or seeing Gin's actual eyes. All of those sorts of events are the sorts of things that scar people for life.
And so is seeing Isshin when you wake up.
"Gah, Goat Face, what are you doing?" I grumble at him, reaching out and half heartedly slapping him.
"You and Ren-kun are sooooo cute!" he exclaims, dodging my slap. Frowning, I turn and realise I'm sleeping in Renji's arms.
And that my lips are now pressed against his.
Oh. My. God. How the hell did I end up in this situation?
Actually, don't answer that.
Renji's eyes fly open, and he stares at me for a couple of milliseconds before wrapping his arms around me and returning the ... kiss.
And it feels good.
For the next two minutes, we do nothing but kiss.
And then...
"Ohmygod!" screams an almost fangirly voice. "You two are soooooo cuuuuute!" Renji automatically breaks the kiss.
Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. . Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. . Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. . Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. . Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. . Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. . Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. . Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. . Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. . Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Isshin.
I. Hate. Isshin.
If I had the Second division torture equipment, I would.... Okay, the torture I'd inflict on my dad, if it was filmed and released as a movie in the real world, it'd be the highest rating possible, if not banned altogether. That's how much pain and ...torture I'd inflict on that bastard.
Let's ignore the entire 'I kissed Renji in front of my father whilst in a wood' thing, ne?
Please? Pretty please with whatever you like to eat on top?
"Argh!" exclaims Renji, staring at Isshin. I groan and lean against him, ignoring: a) my arms wrapped around him, and b) his arms wrapped around me.
"Lemme guess," he mutters, "Isshin, right?"
"Yeah," I reply. "Gah."
"My thoughts exactly."
I can feel Renji's smirk as he adds, "But, you're probably thinking of the best ways to painfully kill your father."
"Two things," I reply, "A) never refer to Isshin as my father, it's embarrassing. And b) How'd you guess?"
Renji chuckles, and presses me to his chest. Normally, I'd kill him for that, but I'm still drowsy, and don't have the energy.
Shirosaki mutters in my head, "No, you just like hugging Renji too much to bother leaving his sweet embrace."
"Shuddup," I tell him. Mentally, of course.
"Oh, how sweet my two sons are together!" exclaims Isshin, with eccentric tears dripping from his eyes. I glance at Renji, who nods at me, and we stand up.
And then we beat the living crap out of him. Again.
A/N: Gah. -bangs head on table- Horrible Terrible Chapter. Horrible. Like...Waking up to see Isshin. It's just... bang head against table worthy. I hate it. It's so...Rushed. But oh well. I'll come back and edit it one day. Maybe. -sigh- I fell asleep during what was meant to be a relaxtion session today. -smirk- Whether this had anything to do with staying up to read Sirius/Remus fanfiction in the Harry Potter fandom, I don't know. Yes, I'm reading HP fanfiction. Sue me. I actually have ideas for random stuff for my own fanfiction, do not worry.
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Remainder: Don't own the characters, except for dear Hisana Masaki. Idea is from Espada Guide To Parenting, which was updated, and is awesomeness.
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