Disclaimer: How else do I say this? I don't own it. Por favor se mio.
Actually, I just said please be mine. Not really the same, but I suck at other languages.
Oh, and to the kind reviews, I just have to say, that they put this huge, terribly embarrassing smile on my face. Thank you so much, all of you. And sorry I didn't upload sooner, I had a little case of writer's block.
Anyways, I'm sure you're bored with me, so I'll get on with it.
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A week later, I woke up early to catch a surf session. When I made it to the pier, I realized only Stacy was there. I hadn't heard him leave that morning, and wondered how much earlier he had gotten up before me. I sat in the sand, and looked at the dark sky. Pink and orange were peeking out, but I could still see the stars of the night before. I then focused my attention on Stacy, who was out in the water.
He was always much better when he thought no one was watching. It had always been the opposite with me; I had to show off, and when I was alone, I normally failed, either with riding a wave, or completing a trick. Even from a distance his long blond hair was clearly visible. He caught the next wave and rode it perfectly, swerving and cutting into it with unreal balance. I stood and paddled out to meet him.
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"So, I guess we're the only ones who remember this place, huh?" Stacy chuckled, shaking out his wet hair.
"God no. Everyone else is just dying from all the practices Skip is planning," I smiled.
"Yeah, and that you don't go to half the time," he replied, playfully pushing me.
"Whatever, can I ride with you back to your place?"
"Are you kidding? You're soaking! Hell no," he said, even though he was opening the passenger door.
"Thanks, Stace."
"Yeah, yeah," he rolled his eyes and loaded the two surfboards and my skateboard. We then piled into his car, and he asked, "You want to get some breakfast?"
"Sure, whatever man."
The small and dirty taco stand we drove to serves us, even though we were in wetsuits. Of course, it helped that Stacy had zipped his down and revealed his chest, which the girl at the register seemed to like. I inhaled my two bean tacos in less than five minutes, but Stacy beat me, finishing his tacos in three.
"Why don't you get bean and cheese?" he questioned.
"I hate cheese," I told him.
"Really? I never knew that."
"It's true."
After a second of silence I asked if we could get back to his place and nap. He agreed, and we cruised back in the rising sun. When we arrived, I threw myself upon the couch, which had a blanket and pillow on it.
"Your gonna get your own bed, Stacy. I've been taking it from you too long."
He looked exasperated, but nonetheless, went into his room. I closed my eyes, preparing myself for a relaxing nap. Then, I was hit in the head by something incredibly soft. My eyes flew open to see Stacy standing there.
"Couldn't let you sleep without your pillow, can I have the other?" I grinned and tossed him the one under me, replacing it with my fluffy pillow and shutting my eyes once more.
"Thanks," I breathed. He didn't answer, so I assumed he had left.
But I didn't know he was just contemplating how to respond, and could think of nothing.
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"Babe, babe, you alive?" I stirred, hearing the laughter. "Ah, come on, you really died on me?" a gruff voice asked jokingly. I cracked my eyes open to behold Jay, who promptly planted a kiss on my lips.
"Mm, good wake up," I sighed, turning over and burying my face in the sofa.
"Alright, I didn't want to do this," he said, as though he was facing battle. But then, he wedged his arms under me, and lifted me up into the position one holds a child. I laced my hands around his neck and my face broke out into a huge smile. He began spinning slowly in a circle while I giggled, until he stopped and looked down at me. We shared an innocent, and yet passionate kiss, before the noise of a door opening reached my ears. We separated as Stacy and Tony walked in.
"You had to pick her up to wake her? Jesus," Tony sniggered. I untangled myself from Jay, and he led me to the couch, where he pulled me to perch on his knees. I looked up expectantly at Tony and Stacy.
"What are we doing?"
"We we're sorta hoping you'd answer that," Tony said, settling himself in the cushioned chair beside the couch.
"Any parties going on?"
"Not that we know of. And we know of them all," Stacy responded, from his spot on the floor.
"I say we smoke a bowl, and go eat."
They all complied.
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"Fuck you."
"You totally sucked back then though! Dude, you were always cut up from falling so god damned much." We we're all feeling a bit nostalgic while eating, and Jay had just finished reminding everyone how much I used to fall off my skateboard when I was younger.
"You guys remember the first time we all got drunk?" Tony asked.
"Oh god yes. Best experience, there was absolutely no hangover," I smirked.
"We must have been, what eight, nine?" Stacy reminisced.
"It was around the time we all smoked that box of cigarettes," Jay said.
"'Course, after we had sneaked them from your mom," I laughed.
"Always be thanking your mom, dude, she's hot," Sid added. He had joined us at the diner. Jay punched Sid in the arm.
"Well can you blame him? She is man," I snorted. He grabbed my sides and pushed me onto my back in the booth, my hair falling everywhere. I shook it out of my face, only to see a familiar face outside the window. I gasped.
"Fuck," I growled. "Dudes, I have to go." They all looked at me, confused.
"Why?" Jay asked in a nonchalant manner, shoving a fry in his mouth, and then throwing one at me.
"Alex is about to walk in," I cried. All of their faces glanced at the window where he was standing with two girls and another guy.
"Looks like a double date," Jay responded, not caring. I glared at him. Didn't he get what I had gone through, leaving him at home on his own? After I had sworn to him I would be there?
"Kimber, I'll get you home," Stacy said quietly, getting up. He tossed five dollars on the table, and exited through the back entrance. Jay never looked up.
I climbed into Stacy's car, and immediately swept over what tracks he possessed. I saw John Lennon on one, and not caring which album it was, shoved it in.
"God he is suck a jackass, you know?" I ranted angrily. "I mean, he knew how much Alex meant to me, or I thought he did, who the hell knows," I faded out. My argument sounded weak.
"He didn't see it, so it's not like he really knows what happened. Unless you told him," he added quickly.
"No, I didn't," I moaned. "Whatever, he can be however he fucking wants. I don't give a shit."
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Stacy grin slightly.
"What?" I accused.
"Whenever you say you don't give a shit, you always do."
I shot a look at him, and turned up John Lennon's 'Mind Games.'
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"So, I'm staying with Stace right now. Or at least 'til I find somewhere else," I explained to Peggy.
"You can always stay with me," she offered kindly. I grinned.
"Thanks, but I'll probably try and find somewhere, where I'm not mooching off the people there."
"Understood," she nodded.
"Hey, ladies, could ya try and not talk so much? You're here to skate, right?" Skip growled.
"Yeah, man," I replied. We were sitting on the side of what I thought of as the 'bowl' while I told her why I was arriving everywhere with Stacy. I dropped in, sliding my turquoise board easily underneath me. I then succeeded in completing a perfect run, with Skip watching.
"Good enough?" I yelled out to him.
"It's because I've been ridin' ya so hard!" he shot back, before turning to watch Tony. I walked up the steep cement, coming upon flat ground, and throwing myself down, to bask in the sunlight; the sound of wheels speeding along cement were growing louder, and I opened my eyes to see them flying over my head. I shrieked, than began laughing loudly as Tony made a crude signal at me, yelling: "Bitch!"
I sat up, rubbing my eyes, with a smile plastered on my face.
"What'd you do to deserve that?" a boy I didn't know asked.
"No idea," I grinned, looking up at him. He had light brown hair that touched his shoulders and big brown eyes. He placed himself next to me.
"So, what's your name?" I questioned.
"Craig," he told me.
"I'm-"
"I know who you are," he smirked.
"Uh-huh," I responded. "How?"
"Hard not to know the name of a pretty girl," he said smoothly. I didn't buy a word of it.
"Hm… Okay then," I said, clearly not interested.
"So," he started, persistently. "What are you doing later tonight?" I opened my mouth to retort, but then saw Jay looking daggers at us from the other side of the bowl, while Sid was trying to discuss something with him. I closed my mouth, and locked eyes with the boy, whose name I had already forgotten.
"Nothing, yet," I said, giving him an open door to try for me.
"Wanna hang?" he smiled, stroking my shoulder. I chuckled tenderly.
"Maybe," I answered, not really knowing why I was trying to make Jay so angry. I inched closer, smiling shyly. Vaguely, I could see Jay gliding over to where we sat. When he approached, the boy's eyes shot upward at him. As Jay didn't walk away, the guy who's name I could not recall, stood swiftly and questioned,
"Do you have a problem or something, man?" At this, I rose too. All I wanted was to make him jealous, and not to wail on some kid I didn't know.
"Ah, nah, man," he said, in a raspy, low tone. "Just, your hitting on my girl," he turned his head slightly upward as he said this, indicating aggression.
"Really? She didn't say anything about a guy," he trailed off. With a malicious grin on my face I looked at Jay, and swept in between them.
"Look, both of you need to shut up. I don't think we're gonna be able to hang, but it was a nice offer," my face screwed up in concentration. "Oh shit, I'm so sorry, what was your name?"
He glared at me. "Never mind, you whore," he spit, viciously. A small smirk was playing upon my lips, but an arm shot out, pushing me to the side. I stumbled and fell to my knees. When I looked up, it was just in time to see Jay punch the boy in the jaw. He then jumped on him, pounding his face.
"Maggots, Stop!" Skip's voice rang out, as he pulled Jay off, who immediately stormed away. All of the team was looking confusedly at the scenario. I set myself back on my feet, and raced to Jay, not caring that the other male was breathing shallowly on the pavement.
"Jay!" I called out. He didn't turn around, so I sprinted behind him, grabbing his hand. "Jay," I said solidly, trying to lock eyes with him; it amazed me when he actually did meet my eyes.
"I say something you don't like, and suddenly you can go for other guys?"
"What? No, it's not like that. We were just talking, I don't even know him-"
"Bullshit. I'm just a pastime for you, and you know it," his eyes flashed. My head was spinning, a pastime? Didn't he know how completely smitten I had become with him? So much that it scared me. Did I really have to explain it to him?
"Look, Jay, you've got it all wrong. I was angry, you know how I get about Alex. Seeing
him today didn't help either. Sorry, if I made you feel like that, 'cause your not a pastime at all," I rushed out. When I finished the look on his face had softened in the slightest.
"Prove it. Move in with me," as he said this, a definite smirk had crept onto his face. He swept away a chunk of hair that had fallen into my face and looked into my eyes. For some odd reason I couldn't explain, it sounded like a challenge.
"Fine. The only reason I didn't was because you never asked."
"Shut up," he whispered, before our lips connected.
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"Oh, darling, of course you can stay," Phalaine cooed.
I smiled. "Thank you. So much. I promise, you won't notice me."
"Hard not to," Jay said ever so softly, tickling my ear. I laughed. We had walked to Stacy's place, and with the help of Tony, acquired my belongings, which had become scattered among the house. Stacy wasn't there, so we hadn't had a chance to tell him. I thought he would figure it out though.
"Where can I put my stuff?" I asked as though I had never been in his house.
"I'll show you," he replied, grinning. I hauled my one bag and pillow, while he carried my skateboard to his bedroom. I looked around, seeing it in a whole new light. Living together would either tear us apart, or draw us closer. I set my bag on his dresser, and threw my pillow onto his bed. On top of the dresser was a surfing magazine. I picked it up and sat on the bed.
"Look at those waves," he said, admiringly. On the cover was a huge bright blue wave, with a bronze guy on a yellow surfboard riding it. "Hawaii," he sighed, dreamily.
"God, I would kill to go there," I groaned.
"It's almost not worth it, getting up so early to get good waves, when those are out there."
"But worth it at the same time."
"Always." He nuzzled into my neck, eventually reaching my lips. After a few moments of his sweet taste, I disconnected without changing the distance. I opened my eyes and smiled, taking in how I could be totally broke, a dropout, and kicked out of my house, but be so absolutely content.
"What?" he questioned, simpering.
"Nothing," I beamed. He gawked at me smugly.
"Come on. You didn't eat a lot at the diner, I'll make you something," he offered.
"'Kay," I responded, allowing him to drag me back into his kitchen. I placed myself on the couch as he bustled around. Before I knew it, there was a bright red apple flying at my face. I swiped out and hit it to the floor.
"Jackass," I muttered, as I picked it up. He was watching me with an amused look on his face.
"Nice reflexes."
"Shut up."
He plopped down next to me, looking like an excited child. I chortled, and took a huge bite out of the apple with a crunch.
"What?"
"I'm just so happy we're living together."
"It's insane. You ever think we'd end up like this?"
"I knew you'd get kicked out, if that's what you mean." I knocked his head the other way. He turned it back, running his lips directly into mine. A few short kisses later he wondered aloud,
"Do you want to hit Tony's party tonight?" For the first time, I didn't immediately desire to attend a party. I wanted to stay in, and keep Jay to myself. I looked deeply into his topaz eyes, which were awaiting my answer, and decided. I wanted to lose myself to him. We had only been together about month and a half, but had known each other all our lives. Besides, I would never find someone better.
"Let's stay in. Can we?" I asked, a glint in my eyes. He cocked one eyebrow, with his half grin.
"I guess," he said softly, leaning in for another embrace, when the front door opened noisily.
"Jay! Ki- Oh, hey! Just, came home, and you know, thought you had left…" he trailed off, blushing. I smiled despite my annoyance that he worried about me doing something rash. I knew that in our neighborhood it was rule of thumb to keep your door open for your friends, because they might end up in jail if they have nowhere to crash.
"Hey Stace, yeah I'm fine."
"Good, I was just making sure you didn't rob a store or something… you know."
I looked at him confused. Was he always so 'on edge' about me?
Then Kathy walked through the open door, and sat down on the couch next to me; my heart dropped. I sighed and positioned myself more comfortably in the padding.
"So, what are you two doing?" she questioned.
"I just moved in," I said, using a falsely cheery tone. I wanted her to know Jay was off-limits, after that warning Tony had given me I feared her. That warning, the one I had told Alex about… But I couldn't think about that. It was painful to think about Alex. Besides, she had Stacy.
"Yep," Jay said lamely. I stared at him with one of my perfected exasperated looks. His eyes plainly said, 'how can we throw them out?' I sighed again.
"You better have some seriously good weed," I compromised. Stacy walked over to the couch and swung Kathy off, bringing her back down into his lap. I grunted in disgust, and to hide it, shoved the fruit into my mouth.
Stacy whipped out a fat joint, as Jay went to turn on the television. When it flashed on, I immediately saw Farrah Fawcett's perfect face fly across the screen. I groaned on the inside. I hated watching Charlie's Angels with guys, because then they could compare me to the three, and next to them I looked terrible. I didn't have the bony body of those girls; instead I had boobs as big as theirs, but paired with an hourglass figure. Plus, my face was too round, hair too damaged, and eyes different shades of brown. I glanced at Kathy. She could have easily stood next to these girls untouched. Her perfect flowing hair, amazing skin, and small butt gave her an ideal look. I bit into the apple viciously.
"Light that bitch man. I'm getting impatient," I growled through chewing. Jay grinned.
"I'll still stay in, if you stay in," he whispered into my ear. I took a deep breath; what would happen? I knew Jay had been with plenty of girls, all of whom he had left. Would he do the same to me? Did I even have to do this? I mean, I guess it wasn't that big of a deal, just sex. For my reputation of being so fearless, I was suddenly scared of a million things. I turned my head slightly to the side, and stared into his piercing eyes. They were what made me decide.
"'Course," I replied. Thankfully, my voice portrayed none of the fear I was experiencing.
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I ruffled my hair lightly. I then slid the strap over my shoulder, and examined myself in the mirror. I was wearing a black bra and underwear set. My body resembled one of a 50's pinup girl. Although, it wasn't very 'in' my thighs touched when walking. I had never noticed this before, and threw on my pair of faded jeans. I proceeded to slip into a gray v-neck, and dug around in Phalaine's makeup drawer. I swished a shadow across my lids, covered my lashes in mascara, and smeared some unopened vanilla gloss on my lips. To my utter surprise, I didn't look repulsive. Hell, I could see why girls like Kathy wore so much. But then again, I also found them incredibly ignorant.
I flounced out, and noticed Jay sitting on his porch steps. I walked into the darkness and sat next to him. He passed me a drink. I took a swig and immediately recognized it as tequila, rum, juice, and some seven up he must have found. It was sweet, and I knew I could get plastered off of it. From one of his neighbor's, I could hear Bob Dylan's voice softly playing.
"Wallflower, wallflower,
Won't you dance with me?
I'm sad and lonely too.
Wallflower, wallflower,
Won't you dance with me?
I'm fallin' in love with you.
Just like you I'm wondrin' what I'm doin' here.
Just like you I'm wondrin' what's goin' on.
Wallflower, wallflower,
Won't you dance with me?
The night will soon be gone.
I have seen you standing in the smoky haze,
And I know that you're gonna be mine one of these days,
Mine alone.
Wallflower, wallflower,
Take a chance on me.
Please let me ride you home."
The music slowly died down, as I thought about how ironic it was that that particular song had been playing. I polished off the drink quickly and hurried into the house, using the ingredients he had left out. But before I went back outside, I took three shots of tequila. When I rejoined him, the images of the night sky were blurry.
"We don't have to do this," he said, locking eyes with me.
"It's okay. I want to," I breathed, for at that moment, I truly did. I leaned in, giving him a fiery kiss, which became even more heated. We snapped off, and he surveyed my eyes. I nodded quickly and he drew me back into the house, and to his bedroom. He pulled me onto him, and we continued kissing as though there was no interruption. He slowly removed my shirt, reveling the lacy black bra. His eyes lit up. He took off his own shirt, showing his perfect abdomen.
Even though he was enjoying himself, I could tell that his motives were not selfish. He didn't go quickly, but relished the time. He never pushed, and asked before the actual act occurred.
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I lay there, underneath the protection of his golden arm, in his shirt and the ridiculously skimpy underwear I had donned the night before. My eyes were wide as I recalled the night before. It was how almost everyone desired the first time to be. It had hurt, but Jay was gentle. There was hardly an awkward moment, and he muttered sweet nothings to me throughout it. Then he had lay with me until I dozed off.
I had to remind myself it wasn't a dream.
I curled closer to him, and flipped over to look at him. He looked like some Greek God whom had mistakenly landed on earth. A small smile crept onto my face. His eyes cracked open, and he grinned at me; my heart fluttered.
"I'm glad we stayed in," he said, that notorious glint in his eyes.
"Me too," I replied honestly.
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The girl I had been seemed to be hiding. I had been a girl who would have never been with only one guy. She would have never gotten that flipping feeling when he touched her. Never felt so comfortable talking to him. And most importantly, she never would have moved in with someone, and then continue to have sex. The girl I knew wouldn't have trusted anyone enough to let that happen to her. But she got lost in Jay Adams.
The morning after, we walked down to Zephyr, and hung out with Sid, Stacy, and Tony. It was as though nothing had happened. He wasn't awkward, wasn't touchy, and didn't make any reference to it. It was too good to be true, and I should have realized it. But for some unexplainable reason, I had fallen for Jay, and had to hope he wouldn't hurt me.
Hope and trust have never come through for me. I should have thought of this before I let myself go too far.
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Did you like this chapter? What do you think gonna happen?
Now, I'm not making up excuses, but this next chapter might take a little longer, because there's a lot to put in it.
Please review! You don't understand how good they make me feel.
-lette.