With the passing of Sid, came the passing of the bonds I believed were once again forming. I saw Tony and Stacy at the funeral, but other than that, they continued on with their careers. I was not sure when they were in town, or had left to go traveling. I quit my job at Zephyr, as I could not find the strength to actually work. Jay and I rarely spoke to each other, and never mentioned the passing of Sid. We slept together one night after Sid's passing, and I believed it was just for the comfort of another person. He never brought it up, so I tried to forget about it.

It was beginning to feel like I was completely fading. I was not sure when this transformation had begun, but I knew I was a completely different person. I used to laugh and joke, smile and cry. With each person who had departed from my life, it was as though a piece of myself had departed alongside them. One night, I was lying on the couch in the apartment, staring at the ceiling and smoking a cigarette. I had no idea what day it was, nor did I care. I was blasting Pink Floyd through the tiny space, and did not glance at Jay when he walked in and sat down next to me.

"I'm gonna go out for a little bit," he told me. I nodded.

I still loved Jay. I always would. I just had no more room for emotion. I was dying inside. I stared at his hair, which was beginning to grow back. It reminded me of the many times I ran my hands through it, or saw it glint in the sun. It occurred to me how long it had been since I had actually touched him, or anyone for that matter. I felt contagious.

Us, and them,

And after all, were only ordinary men.

Me, and you.

God only knows its not what we would choose to do.

Forward he cried from the rear,

And the front rank died.

And the general sat, and the lines on the map moved from side to side.

My skin on my left arm was scabbing and scaring, so I lived in a hoodie. I was ashamed of anyone seeing me, and would not go near mirrors. Jay was staring at me in an odd way, but I did not think much of it. I wanted him to leave. I wanted to be alone, and be allowed to wallow in my thoughts without distractions. He touched my thigh to push his weight off the couch, and I grimaced at the contact. Hearing the door close, I remained motionless, as I shut my eyes.

Black and blue,

And who knows which is which, and who is who.

Up and down.

But in the end, it's only round and round.

Haven't you heard it's a battle of words, the poster bearer cried.

Listen son, said the man with the gun,

There's room for you inside.

I thought back to the times when we would wake up early, and go to the pier. We simply went to surf and see one another. There was no money thrown at us, or deaths to tear us apart. I wondered if any of the others remembered the days when we were broke, living with our dysfunctional families, and all best friends. Those were the best times of my life. I swung my legs off the couch, and began to robotically prepare my dope, which was in the pocket of my hoodie.

I mean, they're not gonna kill ya, so if you give 'em a quick, short, sharp, shock, they won't do it again, dig it?

I mean, he get off lightly, 'cause I would've given him a thrashing- I only hit him once!

It was only a difference of opinion, but really, I mean good manners,

Don't cost nothing do they, eh?

I injected the needle into my arm, and with it came a burning emotion. I realized this needle was dirty, but was too distracted to clean it. I felt the heroin begin pulsing through my system, but for some reason, it refused to cease my thoughts.

I saw Jay, Tony, and Stacy, all out in the ocean surfing. They were laughing, and appeared so much younger. I could not tell if I was hallucinating, or if this was a real memory. I saw Sid, sweeping in the Zephyr store, playfully being shoved by Jay and laughing. I saw my mother, crying at the round table in our kitchen. I saw Alex through a cloud of smoke, grinning sheepishly. I had the vision of an old photograph with Nicole, Nick and I, standing by the pier with forced smiles in place. I saw Dylan's icy blue eyes, which penetrated my soul.

My head fell to the side, crashing against the table. I felt hot blood trickle down my face. The room was spinning.

I saw Tony, passing me a joint and hitting me against my shoulder. I saw Kathy's face when she saw Jay, and the look of lust in her eyes. I saw Stacy's face when he saw Kathy's, and how much he wanted to love her. I saw my mother dancing vigorously at a party, looking beautiful in a long, flowing dress. I saw Sid's dog Rufus, running in his yard and barking at us all.

I couldn't hold my eyes open. My throat was constricting. Somehow, I knew what was happening. I tried to pick my head up, but ended up falling backwards onto the couch again. I was staring at the blank ceiling, but saw so much more.

There was Jay, his topaz eyes staring into mine, and a smirk on his face. His golden hair hung around his face, and he brushed it back with a swift move of his hand. He was lying in bed with me, the sun wrapping us both in its warm embrace. Then, his face morphed into his current appearance. His hair short, eyes wide and panicking. Was he really there? Back at the apartment? It was so real I could even hear him yelling my name, but it sounded muffled and distant.

Down, and out,

It can't be helped, but there's a lot of it about.

With, without.

And who'll deny, it's what the fighting's all about?

Out of the way, it's a busy day,

I've got things on my mind.

For the want of the price of tea and a slice,

The old man died.

Vomit rose in my throat, and it slithered down my neck. His rough hands were grabbing my face, shaking me, screaming for me to live. Then, he departed from my side. I felt lost. Where had he gone? Why did he leave me?

The last thing I saw was the pier. The wind was blowing softly, ruffling our hair. Skip was there, with his friends, and we were watching them surf in awe. Suddenly, Sid was standing in the ocean, beckoning me to join him. I slowly walked towards him, and stopped before reaching the water. I turned back to look at Tony, Stacy and Jay, all standing there watching. Tony waved at me. Stacy looked sadly at me. Jay stared at me, one last time, with his entrancing eyes that I loved more than anything. The wind blew his scent of sandalwood in my direction, and I wished to run into his arms. I turned to Sid to tell him this, but when I looked at Sid, he was standing with my mother and Alex on either side of him. I realized what I was supposed to so, and stepped into the water. It was warm and comforting.

When I looked back to where my friends had been standing, I could no longer see them. They had disappeared. Or I had disappeared. I would never know. Then, Alex tugged on my arm to follow him into the ocean, and I allowed him to pull me under.

He couldn't help but think how different she looked. She no longer possessed the curves of an hourglass, but had lost all her weight and appeared skeletal. Her hair was falling out, and was so much thinner than the thick locks he had once played with. Her skin was no longer tan, but pale, and her eyes had a sunken look to them.

Despite all of this, she was still the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He wanted to save her, but he knew she would never let him in again. He had to prove his devotion to her, and that's why he knew he was doing the right thing. He sat down on the couch next to her frail figure and spoke,

"I'm gonna go out for a little bit."

She nodded slowly, and he wondered if she even noticed when he was around. She had changed so much, but he could still see flashes of the old Kimber, the one he had fallen in love with. The way she held her cigarette and blew her smoke out had remained the same, and her lips were still full and pink. He pushed himself off the couch, and noticed her cringe when he touched her.

As he strode along the street to his mother's house, he couldn't help but remember when they had lived there together. He could see her sitting on the steps of the house, listening to Bob Dylan's Wallflower play in the distance. When he pushed open the door, he saw his mother had left the small velvet box on the counter in the kitchen.

Opening it revealed the ring his father had given his mother when they were to be married. It was a small diamond, and even though he knew nothing about jewelry, knew that it was beautiful. He pocketed it, and walked home quickly. He was actually excited about what he was about to do. It had been so long since he felt excitement. He would be Kimber's husband. She would be Kimber Adams. Although, he smiled, she might want to keep her own last name. She had always prided herself on being a Wolffe.

He returned to the apartment surprisingly fast. As he opened the door, he realized she hadn't locked it, and was about to say something until he saw what was happening.

She was motionless on the couch, making the most horrible noises and twitching. There was blood running down the side of her face. He stood frozen in place, and then dashed over to her.

He gazed into her face, her eyes, those mismatched shades of brown that he loved. He did not think she could see him. She was stuttering, and he didn't think she could control her body at all. Vomit fell out of her mouth and seeped down her neck, but he didn't care. He held her face tightly, and tried to get her attention.

"Kimber! Kimber! What the fuck? Can you hear me? What's happening?"

He desperately sprinted to the phone and dialed 911. It was then he saw the bloody syringe on the table next to her.

"911, what is your emergency?" a female voice on the other end of the receiver asked.

"Yeah, m-my girlfriend, she just o-overdosed, I need someone out here quick," he cried into the phone. She looked like the twitching was slowing, and he couldn't tell if that meant she was slipping away or regaining consciousness.

"Where are you, sir?"

He proceeded to give her the address and hang up the phone after she instructed him to keep her upright. He knew it was too late by the time he hung up, but ran to her side anyway. She was still breathing, but very lightly. Surprisingly, she looked at peace. Even with the vomit and blood, he thought she was beautiful.

He kissed her forehead gently, and whispered, "I love you. I'm so sorry."

He stayed by her side, quietly sobbing until the paramedics arrived. They rushed in and roughly pushed him aside, away from her. He watched as they grabbed her wrist and searched for a pulse, a pulse that had been gone for much longer than that night. Everything was moving in slow motion for Jay, and as they placed her on the stretcher, he heard one of the men say, "Fucking junkies."

Jay's anger boiled to the surface, and he snapped, "What the fuck did you just say? You didn't know her at all!"

The man turned around, shocked to see that Jay was listening. He shrugged, and proceeded to take her out of the room. Jay sprinted after, and found her hand underneath the blanket they had covered her with. He walked with the paramedics, holding her cold hand, and receiving some of the oddest looks.

Later that night at the hospital, the doctors discovered that Kimber had been pregnant.

Tell me what you think? This isn't how I'm ending it, I'm gonna carry on with Jay's POV.