7 Detox
I awoke to a white room. There was a large window a few feet to the left of me. Arnold rested in a chair just to the right of my bed. I sat up some, feeling cold and achy. My stomach felt like it would burst if I didn't empty it. I tried to get up but found my hand was tethered to some IV of clear liquid.
"Oh thank god you're up!" Arnold said as he turned to greet me. "I didn't know if you would wake. The doctors said you had much more alcohol then your body could digest. You're lucky you didn't die!"
"Ok, you're going to have to talk softer then that…" I eked out.
"Sorry" he whispered. He took hold of my hand, sighing. "You really scared me there Helga. I think that was the worst I'd ever seen you."
"Can we not talk about that please?"
"No. We have to. You really hurt people Helga. Phoebe cried half the night because of what you did." I put my arms under my chest, turning my head away from my husband. I closed my eyes at the bright window.
"So, is this the loony bin?" I asked, rubbing the tension out of my head.
"Detox unit. They say you'll have to stay here for a few days before moving to the rehab wing for a month." I turned my head back fast, shooting a mean look his way.
"Rehab? Are you serous? I only drank a bottle!"
"Of rum. And you nearly died too, if you cared to think about that." His face went from worried to mad. "I am so sick and tired of you trying to pawn this problem off to someone else. You got yourself here and now you have to get yourself out. No one else but you can do that." I looked away again, groaning. If he had any sense he'd stop preaching at me like a little kid. I'm not five dammit!
"Look Helga. You can give me that spoiled pout all you want. But it won't work. You have to be in here for the goodness of our son and our marriage. If you don't deal with your demons now, then you never will. And you'll be just like the one person you hate. Your mother!"
"Don't compare me to that drunk!" I yelled. "I am in a FAR better place then her!"
"Oh really? Look around you! Is this any better then where she is!" I scoffed, pressing my eyes shut so I wouldn't have to see his point. My head began pound hard, making the bones surrounding my eyeballs flash with pain. After a few moments of forced darkness I opened them, slowly panning the room. It looked so plain and white all over. The only trace of color I could find was the green chair Arnold sat on, and the gray IV machine that stood next to me. I could smell the distinct stench puke and mess, though I could not remember if that was me or some other drunk who passed through this room.
"So…this really is the detox unit huh?" I sighed sadly.
"Yes, and you really ARE going to have to spend a solid month in rehab. This is not a bad dream Helga. This is your reality." I started to feel sad when he said that, his words stabbing at my heart. I put my hands on my eyes as I cried violently.
"I don't want to be here," I sobbed. "I don't want to be away from you and my son." Arnold got up from his seat and hugged me, rubbing my arms with his hands. He didn't talk. He just let the moment pass around us like a sluggish cloud. I guess he said all he could say.
"I should go. My grandparents are watching little Phil and I don't want to keep them." He unwrapped his arms and stood to look at me. I could tell by his crooked brow that he was fighting off the urge to sob. "Please Helga, don't mess this up." He then bent down and kissed me passionately, his hands plastered to the sides of my face as his eyes stapled shut. I could feel all his warmth and love pressed upon me in that kiss, and I never wanted that to end.
"I love you," he said when we parted. "I'll be back in a few days to see how you're doing."
"Will you bring little Phil?" I wept.
"We'll see. I still don't know yet if he should see you like this. Good bye Helga. For now…" he stood up fast and left, not even looking back at me. And why would he? I had became the one person I always swore to him I'd never be. I had become my mother.