Prompt: Futterwhacken.
Rating: K.
Warnings: None.
Length: 723 words. Um.
Disclaimer: I do not own Alice in Wonderland (2010). This is a work of fan-fiction.

Futterwhacken

By Naranne

"The groove! You're not feeling the groove!"

It took every ounce of Alice's not inconsiderable self-restraint not to show the insufferably bouncy man clicking his fingers incessantly whilst he danced before the gathered crowd exactly what she thought of his groove. Beside her, Tarrant grinned from ear to ear and bopped in time to the music that was blaring loudly from who-knew-where – Alice couldn't see the thing that was creating the noise, but she could definitely hear it; she supposed something, somewhere, had been enchanted to be loud. And to think she'd thought when she had first heard the words from Tarrant's lips that this would be a good idea.

The first anniversary of Mirana's coronation (re-coronation, Alice supposed, for it was the anniversary of the Frabjous Day, when she had won the crown from Iracebeth… or rather, the one day of the year that was not her un-coronation, as Tarrant had patiently explained to Alice) was fast approaching, and so the various usual guests of the tea party had convened to decide exactly how the celebrations would progress. It had taken no small amount of time – devoid of any actual planning, and filled with much scone throwing and place changing – for Mally to suggest that, as a grand show, Tarrant teach them all how to Futterwhacken. Alice had promptly gaped and wondered how on earth – on Underland, she had nearly corrected herself, but then realised that did not quite sound right, and proceeded to decide that Underland must be at the very least a subsidy of Earth, before giving up the thought completely and letting the figure of speech stand as it was – they were to learn to dance like that when Tarrant had abruptly stood, nearly knocking over the tea table and causing Thackery to giggle nervously, and announced that he would hire someone to assist him.

Privately, Tarrant had admitted to Alice that there was only one person in all of Underland who could Futterwhacken better than Tarrant himself.

When that person had walked into Marmoreal, Alice had almost believed it.

Now, however, she was of a different mind, as the lean man in front of the assembled crowd bopped and ducked and tapped and weaved and clicked and twirled and generally drove her mad. Now, he was on about something which sounded like two and four and Alice could barely stand to hear a word of it. From atop their instructor's head, Chessur grinned at them all sadistically and swatted the man with his tail. Their "teacher" didn't so much as bat an eyelid, before waving his hands in the air dramatically and telling them all to stop, for he felt that they should have a break, and that when they came back, he would see how they all had progressed – by getting them to dance individually.

Under her breath, Alice muttered something decidedly foul and Outlandish, whilst beside her, Tarrant continued to grin like the lovable idiot he was.

It was entirely silly to be feeling nervous because some jumped-up fidgety Futterwhacken-ing man wanted her to dance. She could not understand how they could possibly be expected to learn something like that, anyway, and –

Oh.

It was her turn.

Alice did her best, trying to channel her memories of Tarrant on the Frabjous Day. Rather pleased when she finished – she'd gotten the last little twirl and tiny bow, right, after all, wasn't that something, at least? – she felt a bit crestfallen and more than a little antsy when he simply shook his head, and walked away, calling over his shoulder to her words like groove and rhythm and feel.

Apparently, she had not gotten it right.

Naturally, Tarrant pulled it off spectacularly, and the man grinned at him – never ceasing his infernal bopping, mind you – complimenting him on his stylistic approach.

Alice scowled.

Despite her qualms, when the evening arrived, it went nothing short of spectacular. Head full of groove, two and four, rhythm, and style, Alice tried her hardest, and felt that the Futterwhacken was certainly far harder to master than a measly Jabberwocky. Nonetheless, when Tarrant bent her back dramatically in front of the entire assembled crowd, and, his foot still tapping out the beat, melted her with an earth-shattering kiss, Alice felt that it might, perhaps, have been worth it.

A/N: Er. Yeah. Find it at my LJ, too~

Next time it will be better, or something.

Naranne