Aaaand we're back in the Shinobi world! Let me just tell you, there will be at least one surprise in this chapter that some of you may have expected. But for those who didn't prepare to be amazed! Well, not really. I still have to work out the kinks in my plan. But when I do, this chapter will be awesome!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the Darkness, but if I did, Sasuke would be gay and Paulie would be dead...oh wait, they already are.

Chapter 7, Death is Not Eternal

Naruto woke up to find himself covered in a white sheet. "What the..." He sat up, the sheet falling down to rest on his stomach. He looked around to find more people covered up with white sheets. "Oh shit...a morgue. I forgot I was dead."

Unfortunately, a med-nin chose that moment to walk into the room, noticing Naruto's blatantly living form.

"Wh-What's going...You were...AAAAHHHHH!!!!!!" The med-nin screamed before falling unconscious.

"Oh for Kami's sake...is seeing a dead person move that much of a surprise?" Naruto said, before freezing. He himself just saw one of the sheets move. "Okay, I guess it is." Naruto got up and walked over to the moving sheet and pulled back a little to reveal...

"...Neru."

Seeing Neru's body made Naruto feel even worse than he did before. And that's saying something, considering he just traversed, basically, hell. He reached out to touch her but stopped when a hand grabbed his wrist. His eyes widened when he realised it was her hand. He tried to pull away but her grip was too strong. Her eyes opened, looking right at Naruto. She pulled on his arm and flipped them over, landing on top of Naruto. She had an evil grin on her face as she stared down at him.

"Well hello, Naruto-kuuun." Neru spoke softly, stretching out the suffix and sending shivers down Naruto's spine. "It's been a while, huh?"

"N-Neru? But...you were dead! I saw you!"

"That's the funny thing, I'm not quite sure how I'm back here. One minute I'm stuck in some kind of void, then these two yellow eyes appear, they looked a lot like yours."

"The Darkness...dammit."

"ArEn'T yOu hApPy nOw, bOy? I brOugHt hEr bAcK. AlThOuGh I diD mAkE a FeW cHaNgEs."

'A few changes?! She's completely different! If I didn't know better, I'd say she...had...the Darkness...you didn't."

"NoT cOmpLeTelY. sHe haS oNly A FrAcTiOn oF mY pOwEr. nOt eNoUgH tO mAnIfEsT mE. iT WilL oNly iNcReAse tHe PoWeR sHe AlrEaDy pOsSeSsEs. bUt Be HaPpY, sHe SeEmS tO bE aCtIng oN tHe ThoUghTs sHe hAs haD foR a WhiLe, aNd mAkinG thEm EvEn sTrOnGer, mOre...ImPulSivE." The Darkness said with a chuckle.

'Damn you...'

"Is something wrong, Naruto-kun? Aren't you glad to see me? 'Cause I sure am glad to see you."

'I need to get out of here. Fast.' Naruto said, before making a Kage Bunshin and Kawarimi-ing with it. With that done, Naruto ran out of the morgue, heading for the Hokage tower. He felt a pain in his chest as he realised that Neru had dispelled the clone. He started to run even faster, trying to gather the chakra to perform the Shunshin. His concentration was broken as Neru appeared from around a corner in front of him. 'Holy crap, she's fast.'

"You wouldn't be trying to run away from me, would you Naruto-kun?"

"Eheheh...Not at all..." Naruto said nervously, backing away. Neru was about to grab him when suddenly Kakashi appeared in a cloud of smoke, blocking her path.

"Naruto? Neru? How the hell are you two still alive?!"

"It's the Darkness, Kakashi. It won't allow me to die."

"And what about Neru?"

"He brought her back, and made 'a few changes', as he puts it."

"Fuck...it seems you're in trouble, Naruto."

"You don't think I know that?!"

"Heheh, this would make a good volume of Icha Icha." Kakashi said, before he saw Naruto glaring at him, Pestilence aimed at the cover of his precious book.

"You wanna say that again?"

"I think I'll pass."

"Good idea. Can you hold her off while I go see Ji-san?"

"I'll try, but if she's anything like you..."

"If she's anything like me, you're screwed." Naruto said, before running off again. Neru tried to follow him, but Kakashi put a hand on her shoulder.

"Now, where are you going?" Kakashi asked, but had to duck before he could say anything else. Neru had thrown a senbon at him, which embedded itself in the wall behind him. Kakashi continued to dodge her attacks, blocking when there was no other option.

Meanwhile, Naruto had arrived at the Hokage tower, red and out of breath. He burst into Sarutobi's office, holding his chest and looking around for his Darkness-imbued stalker.

"Naruto?! You were dead!"

"Yeah, I get that a lot. Now can we hurry this up? I have a stalker I'd like to stay away from."

"What is it you wanted?"

"Well, I got sent to the Otherworld, where I had to fight through an army of undead Germans and stairs to find my ancestor Anthony who told me about the Darkness and then I had to aim a giant train cannon at a castle. Now I'm back and Neru is alive again because the Darkness brought her back and changed her so she's kinda...impulsive and forward, you could say."

"Riiight...well, I'm not quite sure what to say."

"Oh, you don't have to say anything, I just wanted to tell someone. Was the Wave Mission a success?"

"Yes, but I'm afraid you'll have to wait for your pay. We need for them to actually be able to pay for the mission first."

"Right, right. Any news?"

"Well, the Chunin exams are coming up, and Kakashi nominated your squad for them."

"Oh crap, 5 days in a forest with Neru. I'm so gonna get raped," Naruto complained. Sarutobi laughed at the blonde boy's troubles, then quickly stopped as he remembered who he was talking to. "Well, if that's all, I'll be leaving. I need to Neru-proof my apartment."

Two Days Later...

Naruto woke up to the sound of someone knocking at his door. Having had to evade Neru for two days, he was paranoid to say the least. He warily got up and walked to the door, picking up his sword. Opening his door, he found not Neru, but Haku. He had completely forgotten that she was coming back to Konoha.

"Naruto!" She shouted, tackling him. "You had me worried, they said you were dead!"

'Well, I kinda was...but I don't think I'll tell her that, she seems freaked out as it is.' "Sorry for worrying you."

"Oh Naaaruto-kuuun...who's this? Haku? What are you doing here?" Neru said, appearing in the hallway.

"Shit..."

"I'm here to see Naruto-kun, what does it look like?"

"It sure looks like your trying to rape him."

"WHICH IS WHAT YOU'D BE DOING IF YOU WERE IN THIS SITUATION, NERU!" Naruto screamed.

"Eh, details, details. Anyway, Kakashi sent me to find you. We have to go apply for the Chunin Exams."

"Damn you, Kakashi. Haku, you mind coming with? I'd rather not be left alone with her."

"Aw, Naruto-kun, you scared of me? You know I only want to make you happy..." Neru said, suddenly on top of him.

"Hey, back off! He obviously doesn't want you!"

"And he wants you, frosty? I don't think so."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I'm much more desirable than you!"

"Oh yeah?!"

"Yeah!"

"Fuck this, I'm leaving." Naruto said Shunshin-ing out of the apartment and into the Ninja Academy, right next to Sasuke and Sakura, effectively scaring the shit out of them.

"Are we ready then?"

"Hn, whatever."

"I'm ready if Sasuke-kun is. But where's Neru?"

"I don't want to know. Probably still fighting with Haku." Naruto said as they walked towards the stairs. At the top of the stairs, not only were there two chunin disguised as genin stopping everyone from getting into the wrong room, but Neru was there too.

"How the fuck do you get around so fast?!"

"For some reason I feel enhanced, better than I did before. I have no clue as to why, though."

'Yeah, and best you never do.' "Now, come on. This is the wrong floor. Don't tell them that though, we want to narrow down the competition." Naruto told the others, but his words fell on deaf ears as Sasuke shouted at the chunin.

"Hey, why don't you go ahead and release the genjutsu, it's so damn obvious anyone could notice it."

Naruto face-palmed. "This is the second floor, not the third."

"Sasuke, you idiot! I told you we want to narrow down the competition! That means don't tell them, fucktard!"

"Don't insult me, dobe!"

"I'll insult you if I want to, fucktard!"

"Don't insult my Sasuke-kun, baka!"

"Don't insult my Naruto-kun, teme!"

"Once again, fuck this, I'm leaving." Naruto said, walking off up the stairs. He walked through the double doors at the end of the corridor into a large room filled with genin of every shape and size. Naruto whistled in amazement. "Wow, that's a lot of people who probably hate me."

"N-Naruto-kun, where's the rest of your team?" Naruto turned around to find Hinata standing there, poking her fingers together.

"Oh, they're downstairs, bickering. I gave up, left 'em alone."

"So, Naruto, gotten any stronger?" Kiba asked from beside Hinata.

"Eheheh, I guess you could say that. So, who are you?" Naruto said, directing the second part at the silver-haired genin that had materialised beside them.

"My name is Kabuto Yakushi. I'm a Leaf genin, like you. If I were you, I'd quiet down."

"Dude, we're being pretty quiet."

"Shit. Well, anyway, if you need any info on your competition, just ask me. I'll do what I can to help with my ninja info cards."

"Riiight..." Naruto said, as Sasuke, Sakura and Neru showed up. "Jeez, finally guys. What took you so long?"

"Nothing, nothing."

"Okay, maggots. Quiet down. It's time for the written test." A rough voice echoed throughout the room. Everyone turned to find a certain ANBU interrogation specialist at the front of the room, with a group of Chunin holding clipboards. "Everyone take a number and sit in the seat of that number." Naruto went up and took his number, sitting in the seat next to Hinata. Looking around, he found the other members of the rookie ten, Team Gai, Kabuto's team and several other less friendly characters placed around the room. "Now, there are 10 questions in this test. The test is scored on a point-reduction system, so you start with the maximum of ten points, and get a point taken away for every incorrect or incomplete answer. If you are caught cheating, two points will be subtracted from your overall score. Five accounts of cheating means you fail, along with your team-mates. If your score is reduced to zero, or you answer all of the questions incorrectly, you and your team will fail. With that said, begin."

Naruto looked down at his test, reading through each of the questions. 'These are way too advanced for a genin to answer, I expect only a handful of people could answer them, including the chunin and the proctor. Hey, Darkness, got any ideas?'

"i'M noT a BeInG aS oLd As tImE fOr NoThIng, yOu kNoW. jUsT lOoK aT a qUeStIoN aNd i'Ll gIvE yOu ThE aNsWeR."

'You're being awfully nice.'

"oF cOuRsE, iF yOu pAsS tHiS yOu gEt tO gO To tHe fOrEsT oF dEaTh wiTh nErU."

'Asshole...So, first question.'

"FoUr."

'Second question...'

"oPtiOn C."

'Third question.'

"sHuRiKeN." Things continued for the next six questions, until Ibiki called out to the class.

"Okay, maggots. 15 minutes left, time for the tenth question. However, there are more rules for this one. If you choose not to take the question, you and your team-mates will fail and you will have to leave. However...if you do take it, and answer incorrectly, you will lose the chance of ever becoming a chunin. You will be a genin for the rest of your life!"

Everyone's eyes widened, a few of them gasped and several shouted at him. Naruto just sat there, laughing under his breath. 'Fools, they should know that even he doesn't have that kind of power.'

Many people left the room, their teams having to leave as well.

"It doesn't look like anyone else is leaving..." Ibiki muttered, looking at the nods of the Chunin. "Well then, this is the tenth question; Do you want to pass this test?"

"Uhh...yes?"

"Congratulations, you pass!"

'Well, that was anticlimactic. Oh well, if it gets me closer to being a Chunin, so be it.' The room's thoughts were broken as a ball of cloth flew through one of the windows lining one side of the room. Two kunai flew from inside the cloth ball and into the upper corners of the room, unravelling the cloth to show a banner with a woman in a trench coat standing in front of it. She had spiky purple hair pulled into a ponytail, a fishnet shirt covering her impressive bust and an incredibly short skirt.

"Okay, I'm the proctor for the second exam, Anko Mitarashi. Those of you who passed follow...Ibiki, how many did you let pass?"

"We've got an exceptional batch this year round, Anko. It's not my fault, they passed on their own."

"Yeah right. Well, anyway, follow me to training ground 44!" Anko shouted before jumping back out through the hole in the window.

"Something tells me this can't end well..." Ibiki muttered.

Training Ground 44, The Forest of Death...

"Welcome to training ground 44, or as I like to call it, the Forest of Death."

"The Forest of Death? Are you shitting me? This isn't scary, it's a freaking kid's playground." Naruto said, scoffing at the forest.

"Oh, tough guy, huh? Nice, those are the kind that leave their blood all over the place." Anko said, appearing behind Naruto as a trickle of blood ran down his cheek. Anko's longer-than-normal tongue proceeded to lick the blood off his cheek, but stopped. Something was sniffing her chest. Looking down, she found one of Naruto's Demon Heads, its snout buried in her cleavage.

"What's the matter, Anko-chan? Something wrong?" Naruto asked with a grin.

"Oh nothing's wrong, blondie. I just didn't think you were this forward." Anko whispered seductively into his ear.

"Well, no matter how much I'd like to continue this, I have an exam to pass." Naruto said, walking towards the gates. "I already know how this works. Everyone gets a scroll, either Heaven or Earth. To pass, you have to get the other half of the set and reach the tower in the centre before the five day deadline expires. Since everyone else knows now, can we get on with it?"

"Fine, everyone go to the booth, sign your forms and get you scroll. Then head to the gate you will be assigned." Naruto's team got a Heaven scroll, and went to stand at their gate. A few minutes later, a loud beep was heard, and the gates were unlocked. All of the ninja stationed around the forest rushed in, wishing to finish this test as quickly as possible. The second test had begun.

Inside the Forest of Death...

Squad Seven flew through the trees, looking for another genin squad. They landed in an empty clearing, looking around at their surroundings. A pair of yellow eyes scanned the clearing, seeing more than the average human. A Demon Arm flew into a bush and pulled out a Ame genin, imapled through the head. The tentacle shook, dropping the corpse on the grass.

"Damn, this one doesn't have a scroll either. How many people do I have to kill to get a damn scroll?"

"Oh shut up, dobe. Like you're even capable of getting a scroll."

"So, you're blind as well as stupid." Sasuke simply growled and turned away. Neru walked up to Naruto's side, looking out into the forest.

"Naruto-kun, something's out there...something too powerful to be a genin."

"I know, I sense it too...two of them, in fact."

"Two?"

"The Suna genin, Sabaku no Gaara. His bloodlust is practically palpable. But the other one is closer, and getting closer all the time. It's heading this way."

"What is it?"

"I'm not sure, but it smells like snake." Naruto said, as a certain Kusa kunoichi was speeding through the dense forest, searching for her prey.

"Where are you, Sasuke-kun?"

The raven-haired avenger sneezed.

"Can we get going already? I want to finish this test as soon as possible." Naruto said to the rest of the group. They all nodded, and Squad Seven set off again.

1 Hour Later, Squad Eight...

'I wonder how Naruto-kun is doing...' Hinata thought, rushing through the woods with her team-mates Shino, Kiba and Akamaru. She looked to her side to see Akamaru hiding in Kiba's jacket, as if something was frightening him. Hinata activated her Byakugan and looked around, searching for the source of the dog's fear. Unfortunately, she found it. "Kiba, Shino, there's someone up ahead. And they have a lot of chakra."

"Hopefully they won't know how to use it." Kiba said, speeding up to reach the mystery chakra.

"Knowing our luck, they will." Shino said, his mouth seemingly not moving.

They came across a clearing, different from the one Squad Seven found themselves in. Hiding in a bush, they found a team of Ame-nin facing off against the Sand Siblings.

"C'mon, Gaara. Why do we have to fight them? We already have the scroll, we should just get to the tower." Kankuro asked of his little brother.

"They looked at me the wrong way." He said, making everyone in the clearing including the three Leaf-nin flinch.

"Please, let's just go. Do it for your nee-chan, yeah?" Temari pleaded.

"Hmph, too bad I don't think of you as my siblings. If you don't want to get involved, leave. Get off my back." The puppet master and fan user stepped back, not willing to get in the way of the Desert's wrath.

"Sh-Shigure, I think we should get out of here. Like, now." One of the Ame-nin said to his team-mate.

"Good idea."

"Too late. Your time is now." Gaara said emotionlessly, holding his arm in front of him with his hand outstretched. "Sabaku Kyuu." In a flurry of sand, Shigure and his cohorts were wrapped in the unforgiving embrace of the Desert Coffin, ready to be crushed and join that which makes their grave.

"N-No, please..." Shigure pleaded.

"Sabaku Sousou!" Gaara shouted, closing his palm as blood flew through the air. The three Konoha-nin were too shocked and scared to move. "Sheh, that wasn't fun at all. C'mon then, let's finish this." The sand jinchuuriki said to his siblings, beckoning for them to follow. The three of them left the clearing, the bloodlust blanketing the area lifted. Squad Eight fell to their knees, coughing and choking.

"Phew, I'd hate to be the guy who faces him in a battle." Kiba said once he was able to stand once more.

Halfway across the forest, a boy in green spandex sneezes, his two team-mates looking at him in surprise. 'Lee never gets sick.'

Back with Squad Seven...

"Who the hell are you?" Naruto asked, glaring at the person attacking them, the skin of her face peeling off to reveal a pale skinned brow with purple marks on it, and a yellow snake-like eye.

"My name is Orochimaru. Remember it, for it shall be the last name you ever hear." The Snake Sannin said before rushing forwards. Naruto jumped backwards, barely avoiding the kunai that had been heading for his stomach. He avoided a few more strikes from the pale ninja, his sword appearing in his hand. He swung it in a wide arc, shouting his attack's name.

"Kuro Yaiba!!" The now familiar wave of darkness shot towards Orochimaru, ramming into his chest. It pushed him back into and through a tree, knocking it over. He smashed into another tree, his body turning to mud in the process. "Shit, Tsuchi Bunshin!"

"You are strong, child. Tell me your name."

"Naruto Uzumaki Estacado. Remember it, for it shall be the last name you ever hear." Naruto replied, copying the exiled Sannin.

"Estacado? So, you have the Darkness...you would be perfect for a curse seal, along with the Uchiha boy."

"Curse mark? Stop talking nonsense already!" Naruto shouted, sending a few Demon Arms his way. Orochimaru countered with his snakes, their attacks cancelling each other out. Naruto growled, and ran towards him, his sword drawn. Orochimaru used a snake to fling Naruto into a tree, his body rebounding slightly from the force. The snake master drew his Kusanagi no Tsurugi and threw it towards Naruto, impaling him and pinning him to the tree. Orochimaru vanished, reappearing on a branch beside Naruto.

"Now, you will become my puppet." He said, sinking his fangs into Naruto's neck. Naruto screamed in pain as the snake summoner pumped his venom into his body, trying to overwhelm the Kyuubi's healing factor. Eventually Orochimaru won the struggle, and drew his teeth out of the boys neck, leaving a few drops of blood on his shoulder. Three black marks shaped like wheels, with spikes protruding from the edge appeared just above the bite, pulsing with purple chakra. "Good, you've survived this long at least. Now, to get you Uchiha friend." Orochimaru muttered, before jumping away to find Sasuke.

"nO tImE fOr sLeEpInG..."

Chapter Seven is done! If any of you have problems with me giving Naruto a curse seal, well, let me tell you he won't be using it much. His power is cursed enough already. Basically, just another plot twist. Also, my powers of resurrection have been at work, bringing Neru back. So if you liked it, please review, and if you didn't...well...I'm not sure. Let me meditate on it. Adios.