Disclaimer: I own very little.

Nothing in Tennis

"Love means nothing in tennis, but in life, it is everything."

- Anonymous

Chapter 10
Lustful Lullaby

"Taichiichi?" Sengoku set a hand on the younger boy's shoulder. "Are you free tonight?"

Dan looked up from his notebook, slightly distracted. "Huh?"

"Well, it's just, my parents and sister are going away," Sengoku explained, scratching the back of his neck. "And I just thought… maybe you could come over? We could, you know, eat pizza and watch a movie and… something." He flashed the younger boy his best "lucky" grin.

Dan, however, averted his eyes. "I'm afraid I can't come." His voice was quiet, reluctant – Sengoku wasn't sure, however, whether it was because he was disappointed because he couldn't come over or because he didn't like lying. "I have to look after my sister."

"Ah, okay, then." Sengoku did his best to hide his disappointment. No parents, no school the next day… It would have been the perfect opportunity to hopefully take their relationship… further. "Ah, well, some other day, then?"

"…Right," said Dan quietly even as Sengoku was already walking away. "Some other day desu."

"Nii-chan?" The small voice, quiet even to begin with, was muffled with tears and the material of his sweater. "Are we there yet?"

"Almost, Meiko-chan, almost desu." Dan held her even closer to himself, wishing it weren't so cold. It was supposed to be almost summer, right? So why was it so cold, on this day out of all of them? It wasn't fair. But then, when was life ever fair?

"Can we really go there?" she asked quietly. "Will they let us in?"

"I'm sure we can," Dan said, and for the moment, it was the only thing he was indeed sure about. "Do you remember the person I showed you in that picture? The one I like? We're going to his house desu."

"…He won't hurt you, will he?" Meiko mumbled. "For showing up so late?"

Dan swallowed, shaking his head though his sister wasn't even looking at him at the moment. "No, he won't," he whispered.

He was glad to be able to believe so.

It was, Sengoku thought as he draw the blanket tighter around himself, awfully cold for this time of the year. Then again, it was almost midnight already, so it presumably wasn't supposed to be hot, but…

None of this changed the fact that he was cold, and alone, and would have much rather been snuggling up to a warm person next to him. A very particular person, preferably. One who would fit so well in his lap, lips over his, slim arms wrapped around his neck even as he drew the other closer…

Well, damn. Those fantasies were no good. A bit more and he'd have to leave the somewhat warm couch in favour of a very cold shower, which definitely wasn't going to help anything.

He just wished he could have had Dan here with him. Not even making out, necessarily – though that would certainly be a plus –, but, just… being. Just sitting alone wasn't much fun.

Perhaps he should just go to sleep. Except he didn't feel sleepy yet. And though the movie on the TV right now wasn't very good, he wanted to see all of it simply for the principle. Sengoku Kiyosumi finished what he started, damn it.

Suddenly, though, he was torn from his quiet musings by the chime of the doorbell. Throwing the blanket aside, he stood up, hurrying towards the door. Who could it be at this time of the night? Cautiously, he peered outside, but it was too dark to see anything properly.

"Who's there?" he called out.

"Sengoku-senpai?" he heard a quiet voice through the door. "It's me, Dan. Taichi. Please open up…"

Despite his never-ending optimism, not even Sengoku could believe Dan had simply changed his mind about coming over, especially not at this late an hour. Therefore, it was with slight dread though no hesitation as he opened the door to let his kouhai in.

In the light flooding from the doorway Dan looked horribly pale, but Sengoku tried his best to ignore it. Somewhat surprisingly, the younger boy was not alone. He was holding a little girl in his arms; she couldn't have been more than five, if even that. Her arms were wrapped around Dan's neck, her face hid against the boy's shoulder, and she was shivering. It was no wonder – aside from a jacket and an untied pair of shoes, she was apparently wearing nothing but a set of pyjamas to protect her against the chilly night air.

"Get in, fast." Sengoku stepped aside to allow Dan and the younger boy's sister – for who else could it be? – into the house. The younger boy seemed to be cold, too, but even though that worried him, it was not of significant importance right now. There were more important things – like the girl. "Come on. She can borrow my sister's bed." Walking ahead to show the way, Sengoku slowed down and finally stopped as he realized Dan wasn't following him. Turning around, he looked quizzically at his boyfriend. "What's wrong?"

"I – I'm sorry," Dan whispered. "I'm nothing but a bother to you…"

"Are you stupid?" Sengoku stepped forward, grasping on Dan's arm to tug him along. "Come on, Taichiichi. Do you want her to freeze? We can talk later."

As though in a daze, Dan followed him to his sister's room. Together they took the little girl's jacket and shoes off and tucked the half-asleep child in. Sengoku listened quietly as Dan assured her in gentle whispers that they were safe now, that nothing could hurt her here, she could safely go to sleep and not worry, really. Finally, she closed her eyes with a silent sigh, Dan still petting her hair soothingly.

After a moment Sengoku set his hand on Dan's shoulder. Looking up, the boy nodded slowly, then followed Sengoku into the living room. Sitting obediently down on the couch Sengoku indicated, he then was silent as the older boy looked at him expectantly.

"So. Explanations." As though he didn't have good enough of an imagination to know what had most likely happened. "Not that I'm upset or anything, but what has you turning up at my doorstep close to midnight with a child?"

Dan bit his lip, obviously unwilling to discuss the issue. Sitting down next to him, drawing the previously abandoned blanket over them both, Sengoku wrapped his arms around the smaller boy. "Come on, Taichiichi, tell me. I'm worried about you."

Dan sighed, a tired, almost teary sound that tore at Sengoku's heart. As he spoke, his voice was hardly more than a whisper. "My father… not that it surprises you, does it? Akutsu-senpai surely told you already desu."

"Yes, yes he did." Sengoku, too, sighed, pressing his cheek against the blue hair. "But what exactly happened? You've never sought help before, why now?"

"Father just got even worse than usual. He… Meiko-chan woke up and came to see why he was yelling, and he threatened to hit her, he never does that. Meiko-chan was so scared she started crying and he then yelled at my mother and… well, I took Meiko-chan and ran. I couldn't think of anywhere else to go, and I didn't want to go back there, not right away, so…"

"You did right to come here," Sengoku soothed him. "Is it always like that, though? Has he always yelled and hit you and whatnot?" Surely not, right? If it had always been so bad, nothing could explain the change in Dan during these two years. He'd been so bright-eyed back then, so happy and positive… Not that he wasn't that anymore, sure, but there hadn't been dark moments back then. And surely he would have noticed earlier if such a thing had been going on? He couldn't have been that bad a fuku-buchou… could he?

"He's… always been very short-tempered," Dan whispered, looking down at his hands. "Lately, though, it's got even worse. He's having some kind of trouble at work, and he's – he's got some stupid thoughts in his mind, too." Sengoku sensed there was a long story behind this statement, but he didn't pry. Dan would tell all in its due time. Right now getting information wasn't that important; what was, though, was being there for the other boy, reminding him he wasn't alone in the middle of all this mess.

"Well, you can stay here tonight." Sengoku hugged the boy just a bit tighter. "As I already told you in practice, my family's away tonight, so no explanations are needed. And I'm sure that even if they were home, they'd let you stay. Really. You can come over whenever."

"No I can't." Dan's voice was a bit muffled now as he hid his face into Sengoku's shirt. "Your parents would tell someone, but father would just tell I ran from home and lied about him or something, and then there'd be Hell for me to pay."

"Won't he already be mad at you for going somewhere else, even if there aren't adults present?" The thought worried Sengoku even as he started soothingly stroking the other boy's back.

"Yes. No. Maybe. I don't know." After a tiny pause, Dan continued, "And – I don't really care, either… All that matters to me is that he can't hurt Meiko right now."

"Oh, Taichiichi." Sengoku held the younger boy as close as he only could. "You shouldn't have to go through all this…"

"World rarely abides to any set of rules, though desu," Dan muttered into Sengoku's chest. "Many things that shouldn't happen do… And things that should happen don't desu."

There was little Sengoku could say to that, so he just stayed quiet, holding Dan close. Some time later, though, he felt the other boy moving a bit, settling more comfortably into his lap. He didn't react to this, thinking Dan was simply seeking a better position, until he felt a pair of lips brushing against his cheek.

As Dan's mouth came over his, he was hardly going to protest. He also didn't think much of the hand sliding down his chest, even if this sudden change of mood was somewhat surprising. However, as he felt Dan's hand coming over his groin in a way that was anything but accidental, judging by the position of the hand as well as the way it somewhat hesitantly rubbed over his denim-clad cock, his train of thought came to a screeching halt.

He knew Dan was a virgin, of course – the boy had, unbelievable though it sounded, never even dated anyone before him. Thus he'd gone against his usual habit of screw first, think later, not wanting to push the younger boy into anything he wasn't ready for. It meant a lot of cold showers and dates with his own hand, naturally, considering he was not only a healthy teenage boy but a healthy teenage boy with a somewhat overactive sex drive, but he figured that if he couldn't do it to give Dan enough time, he wasn't fit for a long-term relationship at all. After all, he cared for Dan much more than for his usual girlfriends and boyfriends. Never before had he actually wanted to get more out of a relationship than fun dates and some sex, and he wanted this to succeed, whatever happened.

So what was he supposed to do when his oh so pure and innocent boyfriend was apparently trying to seduce him?

With a great effort that had little to do with strength, he managed to grasp on Dan's wrist and push the boy's hand away. "Don't do that, Taichiichi."

"…So you don't want me." The tone of Dan's voice was a mixture of anger and disappointment and even slight fear, and Sengoku winced at it alone, but he had to stay strong and not be swayed by the voice.

Dan pouted a bit, the pout somehow managing to appear sensuous instead of childish, and Sengoku groaned inwardly. 'Hold on tight,' he told himself. 'Don't let it get at you.' This was one situation when he simply couldn't let his control slip. If he did, even for a minute, he'd probably never forgive himself for the results.

"It's not that I don't want you," Sengoku said with what he hoped was his most reassuring voice. "Gods know I do, probably more than I should, even. However, it's rather clear you're not in your right mind at the moment. If we actually did anything now, we'd both regret it come morning. And I don't –" he paused for a moment, trying his best not to put his words in a way that would make Dan feel any worse about himself. "I don't want our first time to be just so you can forget about your bastard of a father for a while," he finished.

"Why not?" asked Dan stubbornly. "It's not like I don't want you otherwise, too. Just – just now – why can't you help me forget, just for a second?" He looked away now, not meeting Sengoku's eyes anymore, which was something of a relief. Much though Sengoku didn't like the wordless implications of this gesture, at least it meant he didn't have to bear the pleading look for the moment.

"Taichiichi, you deserve better. I deserve better, too. And right now, you aren't thinking clearly enough to know what you are getting yourself into. I don't want either of us regret it afterwards. If I –" he swallowed, the mere thought making him feel somewhat ill, "—if I now had sex with you, I wouldn't be much better than a rapist."

"You can't rape the willing." Gods, child, why do you keep tempting?

"Consensual sex requires not only agreement, but also mutual awareness of the weight of the situation." Sengoku looked seriously at Dan, even if the younger boy wasn't looking back right now. "And you, I believe, aren't aware enough at the moment."

For a while, Dan was silent, avoiding Sengoku's eyes. Then, though, he buried his face in Sengoku's shoulder. For a moment, the older boy simply held his boyfriend, unsurprised as he soon found Dan's shoulders shaking with silent tears.

It was after quite a while that Dan finally spoke again. "Don't you ever get tired of me, Sengoku-senpai?" Dan's voice was barely audible, muffled by the older boy's shirt, and Sengoku had to strain his ears to hear it. "I'm so – I'm so small and childish and troublesome. Even now, I can only cry desu. I'm so useless…"

"You're anything but useless, Taichiichi," Sengoku said quietly, hugging Dan just a bit closer. "You're polite, helpful, intelligent, and an all around wonderful boy. I wouldn't know what to do without you. And it's not childish to cry, not at all." Gently raising Dan's face to make the younger boy look at him, he then softly kissed a tear away. "Sometimes, I think us other guys are childish not to cry. I certainly feel like crying sometimes. You're brave, Taichiichi, to actually do so."

"It's not bravery, it's weakness." Dan clutched onto him even tighter than before. "I wish I was stronger so I didn't have to cry…"

"I hope you never get too jaded to cry." Sengoku gently combed the blue hair with his fingers. "If there weren't people like you in the world, who can still believe in things and be disappointed enough to cry when something fails them, I wouldn't have much hope left for humanity."

"The ones who destroy hope for humanity are people like my father." Dan's voice was hardly more than a whisper now. "Sometimes… sometimes I wish he would just go away…"

To this, Sengoku found, he had nothing to say. Therefore he simply held Dan close until the quiet sobs made way for quiet, regular breaths. Well, it was certainly no wonder if he felt sleepy, not so late and after such things.

Sengoku sighed, petting lightly the soft blue hair. Dan breathed peacefully, leaning against his chest. It seemed that, for the moment, the younger boy was at peace.

If only he could help it, that would always be the case.

As Sengoku woke up, he was vaguely aware of being alone. Blinking, he sat up on his bed, finding its other half empty. He'd carried Dan into bed the night before, yet now there was no sign of the younger boy anywhere. He was just about to call out for his boyfriend as his nose caught a delicious scent.

Pulling on some fresh clothes, he wandered towards the kitchen and the smell. Once he got there, he found Dan happily preparing breakfast. The younger boy didn't notice him at first, allowing Sengoku a moment's opportunity to simply watch Dan.

The T-shirt Dan was wearing was far too large for him, one that Sengoku recognized as his own. His face no more had traces of tears, blue hair loosely tied back and looking like it hadn't been brushed in a while. His feet were bare aside from a pair of fluffy guest slippers, looking awfully cheerful in the morning light.

"Good morning, Taichiichi," he said, grinning as he leant against the doorframe. "That smells great."

"Ah, Sengoku-senpai!" Dan twirled around, a slight flush rising onto his cheeks as he saw his boyfriend. "Good morning! Ah, I hope you don't mind me borrowing the kitchen, I just thought you'd like a proper breakfast even though your mother isn't here desu. And the T-shirt, well, my own was all wrinkled from sleep and –"

"It's all right, really, Taichiichi." Sengoku smiled. "I can't cook one bit, so really, the breakfast is lovely. And as for the T-shirt, that's all my fault anyway. I hope sharing the bed wasn't too uncomfortable, it's not that big and…"

"Oh, no." Dan smiled at him and then winked. "At least I can now say I've slept with you desu" As soon as he'd said this, though, his expression turned serious. "Sengoku-senpai… thank you." He didn't specify what the thanks were for. He hardly needed to.

"Considering how close I was to giving in, I deserve no thanks." Sengoku raised his eyebrows. "I was right, though, wasn't I?"

"Yes, you were." Dan smiled faintly. "I… wasn't exactly in my right mind last night, I'm afraid. I'd say I was only in possession of 38 percent of my usual reasoning capability desu. Somewhat shameful, yes, but then I was quite shocked."

"Must have been less than that," Sengoku said teasingly. "Even your 38 percent would have been more than my 100 percent, I'm sure."

"Oh, don't exaggerate, Sengoku-senpai." Walking closer, Dan smiled up at him. "Seriously. Thank you, Sengoku-senpai."

"You're quite welcome." Sengoku leant down to press a kiss on Dan's lips. Then, softly, he said, "I love you, Taichiichi."

Dan's eyes shone as he looked up at his boyfriend. "Really?"

"Really really." At least he was fairly sure he did, given his rather limited experience when it came to actual love instead of sweet words said to every girl willing to listen. "I love you, Taichiichi. And I mean it."

The smile on Dan's face was brighter than any Sengoku had seen in quite a while. "I love you too, Sengoku-senpai desu!"

As Sengoku leant down for another kiss, he decided he wanted to hear those words much more often.

Sengoku's family arrived eventually, finding Dan and Sengoku snuggling on the couch with Dan's little sister curled up next to her brother, all busy watching a children's anime. Dan seemed a bit startled at their arrival but relaxed as he noticed they all but minded the guests. Sengoku's sister immediately started fussing over the little girl, repeatedly pointing out how she was much cuter than her brother and wouldn't she like to play dress-up with nee-chan's things. Thankfully, none of them made any questions as to why Dan's sister was only wearing pyjamas and Dan himself had Sengoku's t-shirt on.

Sengoku's mother insisted on immediately starting cooking for the guest, adamantly refusing Dan's offers to help, practically chasing him away from the kitchen when he wouldn't listen. This made it all too easy for Sengoku to sneak into the kitchen for a word without his boyfriend hearing them.

"Look, Mum, about Taichiichi… well. Things aren't too good for him at home right now, so… You won't mind if I ask him over more often, will you?"

"Of course not, Kiyo-chan." His mother smiled. "And of course his sister may come over as well. It's nice to have a little kid here for a change!" Her smile was a bit softer than usually, Sengoku noticed. "I just hope he won't get into trouble…"

"As do I, Mum." Sengoku bit his lip. "As do I."

"Fuck." Dropping his finished cigarette down to the ground, Akutsu crushed it with his heel before fumbling for another. "Fuck, fuck."

"That pretty much sums up my own feelings about the subject, too." Sengoku sighed. "And before you ask, yes, I'm entirely serious, no, I'm not exaggerating. It was close to midnight when he showed up at my door, his little sister in tow. And, Akutsu… he looked absolutely terrified." The redhead grimaced. "If only I could get my hands at that bastard, he wouldn't know what hit him."

"If I got at him, he wouldn't survive." There was no sign of exaggeration in Akutsu's voice. "Except that would get us convicted for harming a perfectly honourable fucking citizen. Bloody bastard's put up a pretty good façade."

"Well, he couldn't continue doing this otherwise, could he?" Sengoku spoke quietly, not looking at Akutsu now. "But nobody can even imagine him doing something so cruel… that's how he can continue doing it."

"That's how those bastards work." Akutsu lit the new cigarette, the smell invading Sengoku's nostrils. "Believe me, I know."

Sengoku assumed it to be the best not to ask exactly how Akutsu knew such a thing. Something told him he wouldn't be getting an answer any time soon, anyway. Not that it mattered, of course – Akutsu may have been his friend, but Dan was so much more.

"So, what should I do?" Sengoku sighed again. He'd now told Akutsu everything about that night – except for the details Akutsu didn't need to know, like little Dan trying unsuccessfully to seduce him. That was none of Akutsu's business, after all – and he quite suspected Akutsu would more appreciate not being told then the other way around. There were some things you did not want to know about your best friend's romantic relationship, especially if you wouldn't have really minded stealing their boyfriend.

"Not much you can do, really," Akutsu replied dryly. "If he got away with his little escape, stay alert in case he needs you again. And if he didn't… well. Keep fucking hoping."

Right now, Sengoku didn't feel very hopeful.