Diffusion

Keystroke Log

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"Saren,"

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"My friend,"

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"Brother,

I know I've disappointed you in choosing to mentor a human, but their race deserves a chance"

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"deserves the chance you gave me. I should have said this in person. Instead I dishonored your grief"

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"dishonored your brother's memory. When next you have the chance, I would apologize in person. Ours is not a friendship I could stand to lose."

-SAVE DRAFT AND EXIT

Nihlus swore loudly and gave up. Saren was no easier to apologize to over the extranet than he was in person, but at least in person he could add body language and a guys' night out to his apology.

With a sigh, he rolled his head around on his neck, sore from staring down at his omnitool, and then sniffed. Smoke. Smoke meant fire. Which meant he'd burnt Shepard's breakfast. Again.

Cursing again, louder and more creatively than before, he grabbed the pan off the burner and dumped it into his sink. It hissed at him, furious, and sent a spray of steam into his face. Nihlus swore again and stumbled backwards, scratching at his carapace, half expecting his clan markings to melt off.

Growling, he turned off the burner and stared at the sink. He'd forgotten what he'd been trying to make her, and now he was sure he'd never know. The black, charred lump in the sink offered no clues as to what it had once been.

It looked like they were going out to eat. Again. He made a point of making his footsteps loud to warn Shepard he was coming, scratching his talons along the metal. She was staring very intently at a datapad, then tossed it aside and reached for another.

He must not have been loud enough, because she fell in a tangle of limbs, bed sheets, and screams. A short conversation revealed she hadn't even been aware of what day it was, and left her wrapped in his arms. He was hardly surprised with either revelation. They'd been in something of their own little world for the past few days.

He was idly tracing the scar on her face when she glanced up at him. Shepard had countless scars, much like him, but he liked this one in particular, because he knew how she'd gotten it.

"What?" He rumbled at her stare, refusing to drop his hand.

"Just thinking." Shepard shrugged, dragging her nails along his neck. He leaned into the touch. If she really wanted to hurry, she was making a poor argument.

"About?" He dropped his talons from her scar and countered her trailing hands with two of his own.

"If I wanted you to know I'd be talking." Shepard wrapped a leg around him, damn, she wasn't wearing any pants, and pushed herself up to bite his neck, the strange sensation of flat teeth always drove him mad.

"I think I have an idea." Nihlus muttered, wrapping his talons around her backside to carry her back to the bed, which she shoved abruptly away from him.

"You'd be wrong." Shepard smirked, and quickly started gathering her things. Nihlus scratched away her phantom touch, frustrated. He should have expected it. As if she'd leave him any other way.

He started picking up the datapads she'd scattered, and stopped on the one with his name scrawled across it. "Would I?" He twisted it idly in a talon.

Shepard cast him a smile over her shoulder that died when she saw what he was holding. "I haven't read it."

"You can." He shrugged disinterestedly, setting it on the bed, apart from the rest of the stacks.

Shepard looked at it like a starving man might look at food before she ripped her eyes away. "I don't want to." She finished dressing and glanced around for the rest of her things, before realizing she didn't have any. Her eyes lingered on the datapad one last time, and she went to the door. Nihlus caught her around the waist.

"Not interested?" He breathed into her ear. Shepard didn't melt, but did nudge her forehead against his. It was a decidedly turian gesture, one she still couldn't know the significance of.

"I'm interested," She mumbled.

"But?"

"But I'd rather hear it from you." She covered his mouth with her hand, and cut her palm on his fangs. She didn't even flinch. Blood trailed down her skin and along his lips. "Not right now."

"And if I never tell you?" The metallic taste of her blood set off a mild reaction. He could feel his mouth numbing and knew it would feel like cotton for a few hours.

"Then you never tell me." She moved her hand to run it along his face. He wished he could feel it. He ran a hand along her face anyway. Shepard could feel it, even if he couldn't.

"That doesn't bother you?"

"You think you know everything about me?"

"Yes."

"Ass." She laughed.

Shepard ended up leaving later than she would have preferred, and sooner than Nihlus would have. Her blood dried on his face, over his clan markings, like she'd nullified them. He looked at himself in the mirror, the streak of red on one side of his face that broke the patterns of white. He'd wash it off later.

Nihlus went to clean the charred dishes instead, wondering if they were lost cause, and what he should do for the rest of the day. He could try to call Sa-

Saren. How was he going to tell Saren about Shepard?

Keystroke Log

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-EXIT

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-EXIT

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"Fuck."

-EXIT

"Captain Anderson," Nihlus effortlessly shook the man's hand. It was a gesture he would have been incapable of a few days ago, but he'd spent more time than he cared to admit practicing it with Shepard.

"Agent Nihlus." The human returned, his voice tired but firm. "I've heard a lot of good things about you."

"Likewise." It wasn't exactly a lie, but it wasn't exactly the truth either. He'd read good things from Anderson's file, he'd heard just the opposite from Saren.

"Well, it's a pleasure to have you aboard," He sounded genuine, "I'm more than prepared to offer my quarters for the trip to Eden Prime." Nihlus was more than a little thrown. The gesture was reserved for superior officers, and even then was a generous one. The man in front of him wasn't anything like the man Saren had told him about.

"No reason to nettle the crew further, Captain." Nihlus declined. He'd already gotten more than a few stares, most of them from the navigator. "I'm fine the usual accommodations."

"At least let us set you up in your own room behind medbay," Anderson insisted, "Can't have a Spectre bunking with the grunts,"

Nihlus tilted his head in acquiescence and didn't argue further. He knew Captain Anderson was just trying to make a good impression with a Council representative, but Nihlus got the sense that he would have insisted anyway.

"I know you've seen the blueprints, but schematics never compare to the real thing. She's a beauty, that's for sure." Anderson led him on a tour through the ship, Nihlus walking drag the entire time.

In human culture, leaders walked point. In turian, they walked aft. Nihlus was bemused. Anderson wasn't so polite as to let him forget whose ship it was, but the contention meant it could go both ways.

Anderson managed to end the tour at his room, somehow without doubling back on any location. "I think you've already met most of the crew. The only one we're missing is our XO, Commander Shepard. Though-"

"That was awesome!" A cry of childlike wonder came from the mess hall. Nihlus recognized the voice as Corporal Jenkins, the eager young man who'd followed him throughout the tour, adding peanut gallery commentary. That he already recognized his voice was a bad sign.

Jenkins' yell was quickly followed by, "What the hell is going on in here!" in another voice Nihlus recognized.

"That will be Shepard," Anderson chuckled with a rueful shake of his head. "If you'll excuse me, Spectre, I should go defuse this while you get settled." He gave a polite nod of his head, and then walked out as quickly as possible without breaking stride.

Nihlus had nothing to settle. The crew had brought his crate into his room, and he was wearing the rest of what he owned. He followed Captain Anderson through the medbay and out into the mess.

Jenkins' beret was on the floor by the lockers. The man himself was paused in the middle of leaning down to pick it up, his head turned towards the other end of the mess. An elderly woman, who'd been introduced moments earlier as Doctor Chakwas, was hovering nervously about him, but had also turned to stare across the room.

On that side was the ship's registered biotic, Kalian? Karen? Kay-something Alenko, pinned to the wall by a woman Nihlus barely recognized.

Shepard's multicolored hair had been dyed jet black, and hung about her shoulders, rather than in the strict ponytail he preferred. Her casual clothes were replaced with a formal Commander's uniform, which clung in all the right places for a turian. He wasn't sure if humans found it flattering.

"Stand down, Commander," Anderson ordered gruffly. Shepard immediately released her chokehold on Alenko, who propped himself against the wall rubbing his throat. "What's going on here?"

Jenkins straightened his beret, unaware he'd put it own backwards, and quickly spoke up. "It's my fault, sir! The LT was just giving a demonstration. I asked him to. The commander came in late and well…"

Shepard straightened imaginary wrinkles out of her uniform, clearly embarrassed and trying her best to hide it. The navy blues sagged under the weight of all her medals. She stood at attention, nodded to Anderson and Alenko, and mumbled an unintelligible apology. It took everything in Nihlus not to guffaw out loud.

"Well, that wasn't exactly the introduction I'd hoped for." Anderson joked, "Alenko, Jenkins, meet your commanding officer."

"A pleasure ma'am," Alenko wheezed, still massaging his bruised windpipe. Jenkins saluted, grinning like a fool.

"Commander, if we could speak in private," Anderson gestured away from the mess and Shepard nodded, quickly following him out. She shot Nihlus a glare as she left, and he gave her his best 'I didn't say anything' look.

"Ah man! Did you see that!" Jenkins exclaimed the second they were out of eyesight, though not necessarily earshot. "She totally owned you, sir! I've never seen someone move that fast! Man, isn't she a biotic too? You two should spar!" He was practically bouncing up and down.

"I sincerely hope you're kidding Corporal," Doctor Chakwas shook her head, fussing over Alenko once she was sure Jenkins was fine. "Such recklessness was almost broke your back and the Lieutenant's neck."

Jenkins rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Ah come on, Doc. It was cool."

Alenko stared off in the direction Shepard and Anderson had gone, his eyes far away. "It was pretty impressive…" He mumbled to no one in particular. Nihlus disliked him instantly.

He spent the trip assessing the crew and speaking with Captain Anderson about the upcoming mission to Eden Prime. For the most part, the crew of the Normandy ignored him outside of the occasional suspicious glance. It felt so much like his time in the military he couldn't help but be bemused. What didn't feel at all like his time in the military was the chatty, starry-eyed, human shadow he'd gained.

When Corporal Jenkins wasn't trailing him, asking question after question, less than half of which Nihlus actually answered, he was trailing Shepard. The two of them made an unspoken game of it, both of them trying to pass the Corporal off to the other.

That was the extent of his intentional interaction with her. The unintentional was far more unnerving. It seemed whenever he wasn't looking for her, trying to pass Jenkins off, he ran into her. He'd turn a corner and she'd literally run into him. Go into the mess to eat and have her suddenly waiting in the queue behind him. Leave Anderson's room to see her coming in. Nihlus shook himself. It was a small ship. He was bound to bump into her, he was just being paranoid.

When she appeared at the door to his room just as he was leaving, he nearly leapt out of his carapace. He coughed loudly to cover up his unease and stared down at her, wondering what she wanted.

"We have got to stop running into each other like this." Shepard grinned. Chakwas was in the mess, and they could talk freely for once. It was beyond frustrating to be so close to her and still so far away.

"I feel like I have a stalker." He was only half-joking.

"You mean two stalkers." Shepard groaned, leaning back against the doorframe to his room.

"The corporal is certainly… enthusiastic." Nihlus offered.

"I was coming to hide from him, actually." Shepard rubbed the back of her neck and glanced over her shoulder, as if she expected Jenkins to appear at any moment.

"My room is free," He twitched his hand invitingly behind him. "I was just leaving to head up to the bridge," At her blank stare – he swore she had no concept of time – he elaborated "We'll be hitting the relay to Eden Prime soon."

Shepard grinned, and crossed her arms over her chest, "I didn't know you liked watching the transit."

"It's just one more marvel of Prothean technology." Nihlus shrugged. "Anderson will be busy, if you wanted to make an appearance for the crew."

"Less than tempting." He couldn't blame her. She'd spent the entire trip getting acquainted with everyone when she wasn't being debriefed by Anderson. He wondered if she'd even bothered to review personnel files like she'd claimed.

He glanced at the window to the mess; they were out of its line of sight. Nihlus put his hand on the frame beside her head, "You could make an appearance for me."

"More than tempting," Shepard put her hand on his face, ran it along his fringe, then down his neck. "You know, this isn't much of a shakedown run," She mumbled, making him freeze and wonder how much she really knew about why they were heading to Eden Prime. Then he caught the undertone in her words and kicked himself.

He recovered too late, Shepard noticed him stiffen. They were inches from each other, she couldn't not have. "It isn't a shakedown run, is it?" She grinned impishly up at him. He did his best to glare disapprovingly. It didn't work. She must have known she'd find out soon enough if he didn't tell her. She was too clever for her own good.

Nihlus wrapped his hand around her neck and pressed their foreheads together. She didn't know what it meant. It didn't have to mean anything. "I'll see you on the bridge, Commander,"