Disclaimer: I do not own BtVS or any of its characters.
Spuffy:
"Spuffy is just as dumb as Bangel. It turned a badass vampire into a sissy one, and it turned an already mean slayer into a heinous beeyotch. And it doesn't make sense. Spike hates her, and then he loves her, and then he hates her again. Same with Buffy. It's like they both suddenly have MPD!
"Spike is another unfortunate relative of mine; thick in the head, went to get a soul all by himself... and then there's the makeup, bleached hair, and black clothes. He puts eyeliner on. AND nail polish. *cough cough gay cough* Or an emo goth punk person. Is he trying to look like he slits his wrists and listens to My Chemical Romance all day?
"Like I said before, Buffy is a party pooper, and Spike recognized that at first and had the good sense to hate her until he had that dream one time (Can vampires even dream? Oh, wait, I am one) and starts to go, "Oh, I love Buffy, I'm going to go ahead and save lives instead of taking them." What kind of a vampire is that? And why am I talking to you again?"