Sorry for the gap in the updates. Enjoy.
I groaned and got up. I can't do anything right anymore.
"I'm going to bed." I huffed and grabbed my bag, walking up stairs.
Cuts and tears.
I slammed the door and fell onto the bed, huffing. Can't I be friends with who I like anymore? I love all of my family, but I can't help but be annoyed right now. I need support with this, and I know they won't give it.
I tried to blink back the tears, willing them to stay at bay. They didn't. a few ran down my cheeks, dripping onto the duvet under me. I sighed, fed up with everything. I know they are al confused, to be truthful, I am too.
One minute he's undressing me with his eyes, the next he wants to be my friends. I don't know what to do. But everyone deserves a chance. Right? I have been given many chance, so why I cant I give others the chance?
I was brought up to forgive. Forgiveness is always the best thing. I am in no way religious, but I do believe that, if there is a God, he will punish all for their sins. What did the bible say? 'Forgive seventy times seven'. Basically always forgive.
I groaned, all this religious thought is giving me a head ache. Today has been mad and I just want to relax. I stood from the bed, grabbing my pyjamas and changing into them. I can't be bothered to shower right now, I'll have one in the morning.
I climbed under the duvet, willing my body to sleep. I could hear everyone moving downstairs. I could hear the rain pattering against the window. I can hear everything. It's like my body and my mind are finding reason for me not to sleep.
After half an hour of not sleeping I sighed and grabbed my Iphone. I signed into 'Facebook' and noticed I have a new friends request. I clicked onto it and immediately saw James smiling face on the picture. His name written in bold next to it.
I smiled, he's trying. I clicked except with out thinking about it and went onto his profile. It wasn't anything different from anyone else's. People writing on his wall and lots of pictures of his family. I looked at a couple of him and nearly died laughing, he is such a poser.
I logged out, and went through my texts, doing anything to pass the time. When I was on my inbox, I clicked on one of he texts James sent me, saving his number. He is my friend now anyway.
When I had finished I turned my phone off, snuggling under the covers. Sleep took me easily, letting my mind wander and dreams take over my reality. When I dream, life seems better. Now worries, no problems.
Today is Saturday, which means I have no work. I woke with a smile, a warm body in my arms. I opened my eyes and saw my baby, awake in my arms, smiling back at me. Her little fingers were in my hair, playing with the strands and running it through her tiny fingers.
"Hi mamma."
"Hey baby." She smiled bigger and carried on playing with my hair.
We stayed in bed for a while, watching Saturday television. I looked around the room and noticed the most important thing was missing.
"Where's daddy?" She looked up at me, away from the television.
"Hopital." I chuckled at the word, but frowned at the meaning. Edward doesn't work weekends.
"Do you mean at the hospital darling." She nodded, smiling her toothy grin. I grabbed my phone, turned it back on and scrolled through to Edwards number. I pressed call and waited for him to answer. He did after here rings.
"Hello?" He asked, confused. He clearly didn't look at the caller ID.
"Hey baby." I smiled.
"Oh, hey. Did you need something?" He asked. I frowned. What is up with him?
"No, I was just wondering if everything was okay. You weren't here when I woke up."
"Yeah, I'm fine. Carlisle needed an extra pair of hands so I said I would help."
"Oh okay. What time will you be home? I really want to see you." He sighed. I can just picture him running his hand through his hair.
"Not till later. I have to go now. I'll see you." I was about to reply when he hung up. I pulled the phone away from my ear with shaky hands. He has never been like that with me. He didn't even tell me he loves me. We have never had a phone call where he hasn't told me he loves me.
"Don't cry mamma." Emily said, her finger coming up to wipe away a tear. I tried to smile down at her, to tell her everything is okay, but I couldn't. He has never, ever been that short with me. Is this all because of James? Does Edward hate me now?
It hurt so much to think that he hates me. I love him so much. I would give him everything I could, I gave him a child and I gave him my vows. He is my soul mate. I can't see my life with out him.
I sighed and went to put my phone down when it went off. Emily jumped at the sudden noise. I laughter at her expression, she soon joined in, laughing with me. I clicked on the message tab that had came up and smiled.
'I love you. Always and Forever. E. X x x x x'
Emily and I spent the whole day in the garden, playing in the rare sun that we have in Forks. She loved running around the grass, playing with the soft ball I had brought her. Her giggles bounced off the trees as she chased me around the garden.
I ran away from her as she chased me. I was about to let her catch me when a scream rang out in the garden. My blood ran cold as I turned and saw her. On her hands and knees, she sobbed, tears on her face. I ran as fast as I could to her, picking her off the floor.
I stood her up, looking her over in inspecting. My stomach churned as I looked at her knee. A deep gash dominated her whole knee, blood pouring out in crimson rivers, A chunk of glass sticking out. Emily looked down and gasped.
"Mamma." She wailed. I picked her up, being careful of her knee and ran into the house. Esme, who was standing in the kitchen, looked over, taking in our tear stained faces.
"Esme. Help me!" I begged, sitting Emily on the counter. She came over immediately, trying to stop the bleeding. I could feel a panic attack coming, but tried to hold it back. I need to help my daughter.
"We need to get her to the hospital." I said, my voice nearly hysterical. Esme nodded and grabbed her phone, ringing Carlisle.
We went out to the car and I sat Emily on my lap, trying to keep her calm. She was screaming, making my heart clench painfully. I begged Esme to drive faster, wanting my baby to be pain free. She sped up, speeding through traffic and going into the hospital car park.
I was out the car and running across the lot before Esme even parked. I could see Carlisle standing by the entrance, waiting for our arrival. When he spotted me, he ran over, meeting me in the middle.
He took Emily from my arm, taking he into the hospital and straight into a private room, not even letting the receptionist know what is going on. I ran after him, trying to keep up. Esme join me, holding my hand as we went into the room. She rubbed soothing circles on my palm, trying to calm my shock.
Carlisle laid her on a bed as she screamed, shouting my name. I dropped Esme's hand, going over to her. I wiped the tears from her cheeks and the ones running down to her ears.
"Speak to her, get her to calm down." Carlisle told me softly. I nodded, refusing to look at what he is doing to her.
"Hey, hey. Shh, baby. Mamma's here. Your okay." She sniffled, trying to look at what Carlisle is doing. I shook my head and framed her face with my hands, keeping it looking up and at me. "Don't look." She began to cry again, making the silent room noisy instantly.
I could see Carlisle getting out a syringe from the corner of my eye and I tried not to look at it. Emily doesn't need me fainting right now. Esme noticed my gaze and came over, helping me Cam Emily.
"When we get home, do you want to help nana bake cakies?" Esme asked Emily. Her gaze went to Esme and hr cries quietened to just sniffles.
"Yeah." She whispered quietly, hiccups taking her over. Esme smiled at her gently, brushing the sticky hair from her tear soaked cheeks.
Carlisle got to work as we spoke to her. I noticed Emily whimper as he put the needle in, numbing the area. She didn't cry which is good. I don't think I can handle anymore tears today. He removed the glass and cleaned the area before sticking it. She needed eight stitches in the end and he wrapped it up tightly.
When it was all done, me and Esme took her home. She was still sniffing as Esme drove so I sat in the back with her on my lap. She snuggled into me, her breath fanning across my neck. I rubbed her back, looking out into the green scenery as Esme drove silently.
Emily was exhausted, all the crying wearing her out. When we got home, I changed her into her pyjamas and took her into her bedroom. I tried to put her into her bed, but she wouldn't let go. A sigh left my lips.
Walking over to her rocking chair, I took a seat and rocked us back and fourth. She buried her face in my neck as I stroked her hair, trying to comfort us both. She soon fell asleep, but the sniffles didn't stop.
I let a few of my own tears fall, my poor baby. The whole day has been horrible for her. For all of us. I breathed in, loving the way she smells. I will never forget it, other than Edward, it's my favourite smell.
The front door slammed, and I could hear talking. Footsteps fell upon the stairs, before they came closer. The door swung open and Edward walked in, his face worried. He came over, looking at her clearly visible bandage.
When his eyes met mine, I looked away. I can't help but feel like this is my fault. If I hadn't of ran away from her, she wouldn't have fallen over. Or maybe, if we stayed in, she wouldn't have hurt herself.
"Bella? Are you okay?" He asked. I shrugged, not knowing what to say. "Please talk to me." He begged, getting on his knees so he is my level.
"This is all my fault." I exploded, quietly. "If I hadn't taken her outside she wouldn't have fallen over. If I wasn't so careless with her, she wouldn't be how she is now. I hurt our daughter Edward. This is my fault." I cried, tears flowing freely.
He took Emily from my arms, taking her over to the bed. I let him hoist me up and take my hand, leading me from the room and into our own. He laid me to the bed and sat me on it, before sitting next to me and taking me into his arms.
I sobbed into him, clutching his shirt in my hands. He rocked us and rubbed my back.
"This is not your fault. Accidents happen"." He told me, over and over again. After a while, I gave up my protests and just nodded, letting him think I was agreeing.
Today's events just got to much and I found myself falling into a dreamless sleep, cradled in Edwards arms.
Good? Bad? Questions?
Thanks for reading.
Twi-girl09
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