A/N;

Trying not to make it forever between updates. -facepalm-

On another note, I posted a bunch of stories to FictionPress. I'm under the same name over there, so read 'em if you wanna. :)

Without further ado, here's the next update.

R & Rizzle?

-Rain

"Holy guaccamoli!" Max cried. "Africa is cool."

"No, Africa's climate is quite warm, idiot. This is why I should be leader." Angel muttered under her breath. Max pretended not to hear her. They were cruising leisurely through a dense African jungle, (don't ask how it's possible, it just is, K!?!?!?!?), killing time before they were scheduled to have a bird-kid-shaped bomb dropped over them.

"I suppose we should head on over to wherever we're supposed to meet my soul mate," Max sighed, checking an imaginary watch, "I imagine he's getting kinda impatient."

"Must. Kill. Birdkid. Sexbomb." Fang seethed, whacking his head on a cobra.

"...Yeah. Anyway. Let's go!"

They went.

Dylan leant cooly against a tree, checking his cool fingernails in a cool fashion. "'Sup." He grinned sexily. Max immediately melted into a puddle of awesomesauce at the sight of him. "I'm your soul mate and stuff." He continued. "Wanna go out?"

"FOSHO!!!" Max cried. Fang growled. "I mean, uh, no! I, uh, love Fangles, and uh, um..." Dylan winked at her.

"Oh, okay. I get what you're saying. So we hook up later, when Fang isn't looking?" he asked. Max nodded breathlessly. Fang twitched, before turning and stalking off into the jungle, where he met Mogli, or however the heck you spell the Jungle Boy's name. Heh, MW says spelling for Mogli is 'Mole'. Anyway, moving on.

Just then, a big army of rabid fangirls appeared. Fear flashed in Dylan's eyes, and he gave Max a quick kiss before flying up into the sky. "They're gonna kill me, J.P! And I'm not even in the story yet!"

His cries were ignored.

The fangirls followed him through the power of fanfiction, where they poked, prodded and tore the little FAX-threatener into tiny pieces.

"BUT I'M NOT EVEN IN THE STORY YET!!" he wailed again, "WHY DO YOU ALL HATE ME!!?!?"

One of the few sane ones who had stayed on the ground, with rainbow-coloured hair and a lightning strike tattoo on her hand, 'hmm'ed thoughtfully. "I agree. It doesn't make sense. If you did something evil, like killed puppies in your spare time, then maybe I could understand the masses of fics bashing your non-in-the-story birdkid self, but meh."

"B-B-BUT I'M JUST MENTIONED IN THE BLURB! IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT I ACCIDENTALLY MESS WITH FAX!" Dylan screamed. The girl shrugged.

"Messing with Fax was your fatal mistake. MR fangirls are freaking rabid, man."

The crowd of Fangirls enveloped Dylan, and he was never heard from again. The sheer amount of fanfictions written about him killed him, in the end.

Fang sauntered out of the jungle, laptop under his arm. He looked smug, and Max eyed him suspiciously.

"What did you do?"

"I didn't call an army of fangirls to annihilate Dylan, if that's what you mean."

"Sure..." Max sighed. "Wanna be soulmates again?"

"Nah bitch, you ditched me for some Gary-Sue whitecoat creation. I'm going to make out with Brissa." Fang left, and Max melted into a muddle of not-awesomesauce.

All the while, the rest of the Flock watched, for the first time thankful they were left out of the fanfic.

A/N;

Quick little update, more of a rant than a parody. What did Dylan even do to make everyone hate him before FANG's release? Someone tell me, please...

...Unless you're a UK citizen and you've already read the book, then /don't/ tell me. Hahahaha.

-Rain