Chapter 20

Where was she? Sarah sprinted through the hallways of the Buy More, there was no sign of Jill anywhere and no sign of Chuck. Suddenly a jolt shot through her chest. He wouldn't have run off with her, would he? Please God no, he wouldn't do that. She stopped herself thinking it, she shouldn't analyse the facts until she had some.

Suddenly a thought hit her, she looked at the fire exit with a new sense of hope and opened it. There was Chuck standing over a Nerd Herder and Jill was in the car, but the windows were shut, he looked pained and angry at the same time.

"What going on?" She heard Jill say. "Don't do this to me, Chuck!"

"You should know, I wanted to help you! I was going to let you get away.." He said, she could tell he was fighting back his anger.

"Chuck no!" She read Jill's lips, her expression showed Sarah that she had not expected this at all. Jill always thought Chuck was a pushover, someone who she could always go back to, but oh no, not now.

"But you were about to kill Sarah, you made that decision for me. You're under arrest Jill, and I'm breaking up with you!" He said loudly. Sarah could only listen in amazement as her heart thumped rhythmically in time with the intensity of the scene, he turned and walked away. Sarah couldn't believe that he'd ditched the former 'love of his life' because of her. For the first time in her life she felt special and like she was wanted, she eagerly accepted the warm satisfactory glow that overcame her.

She pressed the speak button on her watch. "Casey, Jill's here.. Outside, where all the Nerd Herders are parked! Look, I have too see if Chuck's okay, he put the car to arrest mode so she can't escape! But she's started shouting…"

"Okay! Alright, I'll be there in ten seconds!" Casey replied with a huff in his tone.

Sarah looked at Chuck walking away and quickly increased her pace, but then slowing down slightly so that she was able to hold eye contact with the son-of-a-bitch that had broke Chuck's heart yet again. Jill glared back and stopped shouting, she squinted her eyes slightly and her mouth turned even more downward.

"Look after him." She mouthed.

"I will, but you can rot in hell." Sarah replied angrily, and continued to walk but not forgetting to smugly stick her middle finger up behind her.

"Chuck!" Sarah called as he reached the Buy More parking lott, he span around, his face pale and his eyes narrow and bloodshot. She could tell he was beating himself up over it, she could see the hurt in his eyes and the dragging of his limbs told Sarah that he was almost regretting it.

"Chuck." She said, softer this time. "You did what you had to do.. If you hadn't done that she'd probably kill you just to save herself, she's not the person you used to know.. She's bad." She pleaded silently with him, just to believe her now and not waste time over that sad excuse of a person. She wanted to scream at him, I swear you used to want me, but now is all you want her? Or the person she used to be?

"I know, I know. It won't stop me beating myself up over it though.. Why is it always me - I just want someone who loves me as much as I love them - and that's it - as simple as that. Me and her.. Just easy as ABC." He was looking at her now with fresh eyes, almost glistening with intensity, it looked as though he wanted to say something but pushed it back.

"Maybe one day it can be.." Sarah sighed. And suddenly she was reliving what had happened earlier.

Chuck came racing into castle, his face serious and pale.

"What? What is it?" Sarah asked, putting down her now unimportant paperwork.

"Sarah, I need your help. How am I going to survive tonight?" Chuck asked. Referring to how he was going to have to go on a fake date with Jill when he knew that she was a Fulcrum agent, he wasn't a good liar at all, how the hell could he do this?

"Well, a good spy knows what their mark wants." She said knowledgably. "What do we know about Jill? She's a spy and she wants you to be under her spell.."

"Okay how do I do that?" He wondered aloud.

"She's going to test you. When the time is right she is going to make certain that she has you. That you love her." Sarah almost shuddered at using the word love aloud, even though it was nothing to do with her.

"How's she going to do that?" He felt like a schoolchild, asking the teacher questions about the facts of life.

"When you're most exposed - emotionally exposed. Like an intimate moment, say a kiss." She stood up so that she was standing close to him and he was lost for words, for once she was doing all the talking and he listened, just silently satisfied that she was helping him, that she was next to him.

"Imagine that I am Jill. The moment is romantic, she's close to you, she's looking into your eyes.." Sarah said. She was scaring herself now, acting all dominant - like she was just acting as his handler for once and wasn't actually filled with a range of emotions at that point, circling her like a swarm of bees, dancing around her and not going away.

She looked into his eyes and he stared down into hers, she felt a surge through her stomach and took a deep breath, forcing herself to continue.

"I got that." Chuck stuttered. "I'm trying not to be distracted by the oh-so-romantic secret base."

Sarah reached for her remote and pressed a button that shut off the lights. It wasn't like he was distracted in the first place but now he had nothing else to focus on - just her. Who was in fact looking more beautiful that ever today.

"Concentrate. Keep looking into my eyes, don't look up." She demanded, carefully trying to prevent herself from swooning, she had never stared this long - or hard into his eyes before. And it felt delicious, it was new, it was terrifying but it also felt like home at the same time too.

She felt her eyes pricking with the air getting to her eyes, but she didn't want to blink, she didn't even want to miss a second of it. "If you can't hold her stare, then look at her lips." She added.

Obediently, his eyes dropped to her mouth and suddenly it didn't feel like he was preparing for his date with Jill anymore, it felt like he was living out his dream, his fantasy.

"Good." She said. Her breathing became erratic - she wanted him so much that she could have lustfully thrown him on the floor. She was finding it harder and harder to believe that one person could do this to her - how a single person make her feel like she was on top of the world and make her feel scared at the same time but so, so in love. She still hadn't stopped falling for him, everyday her love for him deepened and grew and so did her want for him. It was the hardest thing to do in the world, keeping it all inside and now, this was her moment.

"Now move her hair back behind her ear." Who's ear? Were they still both thinking about Jill?

Chuck stroked her hair back behind her ear and she felt her temperature rise.

"And when you start to kiss, focus again on her." He kept coming closer to her, he forgot about everything else, he just wanted to be here right now.

"And just when your lips are about to meet, close your eyes." Chuck did so and now he was barely centimetres away from her, she felt her heartbeat quicken, her whole body melt to his touch. He just kept moving closer and this was it, he was going to do it.

"Okay, good, good - you're all set." Sarah said quickly, she gave in to the voice that was telling her not to do it, not now - he had to get this mission over and done with and he didn't need their kiss hanging over him like a dangling knife.

Reality hit him like a slap in the face. "Huh?"

"Oh, yeah, yeah." He mumbled, feeling more disappointed than when Jill had turned out to be Fulcrum.

"Hey!" Casey's voice sounded. "Just picked up a purchase from Jill's credit card. Tickets to some stupid concert down at the music centre." He carried on walking. "Better not be another freaking opera."

"Well, we'll be there waiting for you. Just remember Jill is capable of anything." Sarah said. She meant that Jill was a backstabbing bitch and would do anything to get what she wanted.

Chuck could do nothing but nod, still under her spell, his skin sparkling with numbness, he nodded slowly and walked silently away. She turned and looked back at him, "I love you." Her most outgoing part of her brain shouted like a siren.

"Hey! Sarah, are you okay?" Chuck asked. "You've been standing there for about two minutes, just staring at the floor."

"Yeah." She sighed. "I was just thinking about something - sorry. I heard what you said to Jill."

"What? You mean when I said that she tried to kill you and she made that decision for me?" He asked, swinging his car keys in his hand as they were approaching the Nerd Herder.

She couldn't stop a smile from springing to her lips. "Yes. That's what I meant."

He turned to her and stopped in his tracks, his eyes gazing up at the sky. "You know how much I care about you Sarah, don't you? Because if anyone ever tried to hurt you, I'd kill them. I don't believe in violence but I'll always fight for you." He put his hands on her upper arms and stared openly into her eyes, the electricity seeping out of them and zinging into her.

"I.." She looked down at the floor. "Thank you. And the same to you."

He smiled at her, he came closer to her, kissed her on the cheek and wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her tight. She pulled her arms away from her sides and wrapped them around his neck, inhaling his sweet scent. He just held her, nothing else in the world mattered, they were in their own alternate universe.

Nothing was ever enough to satisfy his want for her, he wanted to squeeze her tighter but he didn't want to hurt her. He pulled away slightly, and put his hand to her face.

"You have no idea how much I want to kiss you right now, but I know I can't." He sighed, pulled his hand away and continued walking to the car. She sat awkwardly in his Nerd Herder and they didn't say a word as he dropped her home.

Two hours later Sarah was ready to come to Ellie's for dinner, both were changed and dressed up. They spoke for a little while about Jill as they walked through the courtyard. He spoke about how he'd always been too trusting - that he hadn't yet got used to all the spying and lying. She told him not to get used to it because he was special the way he was. He believed her.

"I'm glad I have you." He clasped his hand around hers.

She glanced down at their hands and then smiled up to him. "We're better as a team."

They walked in through the door, and were greeted by the delicious smell of Ellie's Thanksgiving dinner. Everyone was there, including Jeff and Lester. Sarah sat down at the table after saying hello to everybody and felt like part of the family. She felt at home.

Sarah had had over two glasses of wine so everyone agreed that she should stay over. Since she was over the limit. Several hours had passed and everyone had gone home and Ellie and Awesome were preparing to go to bed since it was gone midnight.

"We'd better go to bed too, Sarah." Chuck smiled at her.

"Okay." She smiled back sleepily.

The both sat on the bed and Chuck slipped off his jeans, not bothering to change. Sarah automatically went to his closet and pulled out an oversized T-shirt of his, slipping into the bathroom she pulled it on and came back into the bedroom and slid under the covers next to him.

"It's cold!" She moaned sleepily.

"Come here." He said, dragging her light body next to him, he wrapped his arms around her. She snuggled into his chest as he turned the lights off. As her eyes adjusted slowly to the darkness, she wrapped her legs around him and squeezed him tight.

"It's just-"

"I know it's just because your cold." Chuck laughed to himself, not believing her, he knew her well enough now to know that she did actually want him. He wasn't sure if he wanted her more, but he knew that he wanted her more than living forever. He loved her so much right now it actually hurt his chest, he couldn't sleep now with the swirling of his stomach and the new floppiness of his limbs. Despite all this, he had never felt so alive.

"Sarah?" He whispered.

"Yes." She lifted her head and could just make out his eyes through the darkness.

"I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight - I can tell already." He said quietly.

"Why?" She asked, but she already knew. She felt completely the same, like their hearts were in complete harmony with one another's.

"At least - not until I do this." Chuck said. She wondered what he meant, was he about to crawl out of bed to sleep on the sofa? She was aware of the fact his head was coming closer to hers. Before she could do anything, his lips were on hers, pushing her down on the bed he let his tongue escape into her mouth as the kiss deepened. He put his arms around her, want exploding throughout his body. She instantly responded, they rolled over so that she was on top and she held his face and their tongues danced. Everything was mixed up in her head now as he gently pulled away.

"Thanks." He whispered. "I might just be able to sleep now."

He pulled her on top of him and held her in his embrace. "I wasn't finished." Sarah added, she put her lips back on his again and they kissed for a very long time - both knowing that they wouldn't talk about it in the morning - they were used to it now. They both lived in the moment - when the moment decided to pop up they grasped it with both hands.

"Okay." She lay her head on his chest. "Goodnight."

You have no idea how much I enjoyed writing that! I know you expect me to go completely AU but I am keeping it within the plotlines of the show - if you get what I mean, so that they still actually get together when they do, but I like doing the hidden moments people never see.. I still like exploring the feelings of some episodes though, maybe I should have named this story something different.

I love those two together, so much. I know it's just a TV show but.. It feels so magical to me. Anyway .. Review!

One more thing.. I have been writing a Chuck Halloween story, which I will be posting on Sunday - look out for it!