Chapter 21

Sarah walked into Orange Orange to find Chuck perched nervously on the edge of the counter, his hands were embracing his knees to his chest and his face was painted with what Sarah assumed was concern.

"Is he mad?" Chuck asked. "I feel horrible."

She guessed he was referring to Casey. "Casey is always mad - that's his baseline."

"I shouldn't have said all that stuff in front of the General." He said guiltily.

She took a few steps towards him and could feel her newly fragile heart hammering beneath the layers of her chest. "I mean the facts are the facts."

"True." He replied. "But the guy's going through a lot, if I were really a friend I would look past what he's saying and remember how he's feeling. I mean I should know better than anyone what he's going through right now." He glanced downwards at the floor, feeling uncontrollably sorry for himself.

She felt a magnetic force suddenly pull her towards him. She placed her hand on his and felt her whole body tingle with what she presumed was love. A rush made her say what she said next. "Chuck, you're so sweet."

His eyes connected with hers for a moment, as if he knew exactly what she was thinking. She sank back to reality and removed her hand from his, causing the her blood flow to resume pumping what was normal for it to be when she was around him.

"But, you know, an apology isn't going to work because Casey is combat ready at all times and his feelings are liabilities." She said truthfully.

"Well aren't you supposed to be combat ready at all times?" He gazed at her and she knew she wasn't combat ready at all times anymore, it was obvious that the rock hard exterior she had put up long before she had met Chuck was slowly melting away. It felt wrong and bad but it also relieved her from some of her past pain. Sometimes it felt good to feel safe - to just breathe without a heavy rain cloud hanging over her head.

Life always had unexpected turns she wasn't always ready for them anymore. She crossed every bridge when she came to it now. That's how she was living and she loved it with a guilty passion.

Chuck did the cute half smile at her that always made her heart melt. "I'll meet you at your sister's wedding food tasting after your Buy More shift and please, don't go downstairs.. Leave Casey alone."

Chuck was already planning on how to disobey her orders already.

23:00

Chuck lay on his bed, silently twiddling his thumbs and thinking about how he was going to find his father, he wasn't going to tell Sarah yet - but when he did, he was going to need her help and he prayed she would come through for him.

The night seemed to stretch on forever, he couldn't being himself to get up and turn off the light but yet he wasn't tired at all. Suddenly he heard a sharp tap on the window and he sat bolt upright, ready to scream like a little girl. Then, the curtain twitched and a familiar golden lock of hair appeared, then a gorgeous head and a long, slender body.

He rubbed his eyes. "Sarah?"

"Chuck!" She smiled, settling on the windowsill, cupping her head in her hands. "I had some loose ends to do at Casey's, you know - work stuff and I thought I'd pop by.."

"At eleven o'clock in the night?" He said with a devilish grin on his face.

Sarah couldn't really explain why, though she wanted to. She longed to tell him that she wouldn't be able to sleep unless she saw him, it was almost like he was her drug, she needed her fix every day. Looking at him now, she'd never felt more in love with him even though he was just in his pyjamas sprawled out on his bed with his hair sticking up awkwardly at the top.

"I just wanted to see if you were okay after today, you know, with Casey and his sensei .." Sarah babbled. "And for some reason I didn't think I'd be able to get to sleep tonight, so…"

He loved seeing her all nervous, it was a rare event - he could even see she was getting tired, her eyelids were growing heavier by the second. He felt his palms turned sweaty and the blood started to pump faster around his body, she had the power to make him turn to jelly, with just one look.

"Come.. Sit over here." He smiled. "I guess I'll have to talk to you until I bore you to sleep with my nervous babble."

"You're not boring!" She protested meekly, though she was too tired to even talk properly. She sighed to herself - knowing exactly why she was there but she wasn't able to get the words out, it was physically impossible. "Can we go for a drive or something?"

"Or something! I'm really tired Sarah.. Sorry." He felt his limbs lock in mild disobedience.

"Yes, and that's why you were lying here with your eyes open and twiddling your thumbs." She laughed, trying to catch his eye.

"You were watching me?" He narrowed his eyes and smiled cheekily.

She wanted to admit that she had been, just watching him had been a major indulgence for her. Sometimes she felt as if she was in a Mills and Boons novel but she couldn't stop, sometimes it was nice just to let herself give in and just let herself feel everything she felt for him. When she was at work being Sarah Walker the super spy, she felt so torn between being that and the person she was when she was with Chuck - she felt as if she was splitting in two sometimes, it wasn't the way one was supposed to go through life.

"No.. I saw you before I came in the window!" She argued.

"Right. And my name's George Bush." Chuck tilted his head and raised his eyebrows sarcastically.

"Nice to meet you, George." She stood up as did he and they held a long and intense stare.

"Why can't you just admit you watched me for a minute?" He said, boldly taking a step towards her.

"Why would I be admitting to something I hadn't done?" She came closer to him, the heat between them was building a sensation shot from her chest to her crotch and she shuddered. Shake it off, Sarah, shake it off. He couldn't even hold eye contact with her, it made him want to dive on her and do things to her that shouldn't even be written in words.

"Would it be so wrong?" He placed his hand on her arm and her skin grew hot and prickling goosebumps appeared on the skin where his fingers had grasped her. He felt her skin rise in temperature and almost praised himself, he was going to be the boss for once and he wanted an answer. It wasn't so much that he wanted her to admit it, it was that he just wanted this 'conversation' to carry on forever.

"I'm not saying it's wrong! Why won't you believe me?" She said stubbornly.

"I know when you're lying, Sarah." Did he? He folded his arms but didn't move away from her, his breathing was unsteady and he was certain that his breath was rasping.

"Fine!" She sighed, dropping her defensive shoulders. "Happy now?"

"Ecstatic!" He beamed, grabbing her hand and sitting her down on the bed, eager to change the subject once he had noticed her defeated expression. She closed her eyes for a moment and suddenly she felt exhausted again, all the days events weighing down on her - Casey's sensei going rogue.. Being kidnapped.

"I'm tired." She said laying back. "I'd better drive myself home."

"You're too tired, I'll take you in the Nerd Herder and you can get your car in the morning, okay?" He was already pulling on his jeans whilst her eyes were adverted.

Before she was about to protest, his car keys were already in his hand. "Come on!"

"Okay." She dragged herself out into his car, barely remembering how she even got there. Then everything went black.

Chuck could hear Sarah softly snoring in the passenger seat, he placed his unoccupied hand on hers and felt a little relieved, he wrapped his fingers around hers as he drove down the darkened streets and felt he needed to say something whilst he had the opportunity.

"Look.. I don't think I could ever say this to you when you're awake so.. Here goes…" He took a breath. "Sarah ever since you came into my life, I've never been the same, everything seems so pointless without you and uh.. I have.. kind of.. fallen in love with you, I mean, who wouldn't? Your gorgeous, smart, kind and amazing in every single way. So there, I said it.. I love you."

He approached the street where her hotel was situated. He gave her hand a little squeeze and let it go. "Sarah, we're here."

She opened her eyes and shook her head. "Oh, okay thanks.. See you tomorrow.. Thanks for the lift."

"Bye." He waved as she tiredly opened the door.

She meekly waved as he pulled off. She couldn't believe she'd fallen asleep in the car, it seemed like one moment she was in Chuck's bedroom and the next moment she was outside her hotel room. She let herself into her empty room and sat on her bed, grabbing a picture of her and Chuck.

She traced her long finger on his frozen face. "I love you." She sighed, before turning off the light.

I've had the worst case of writer's block, sorry. I'm back now though and ready to write. With all the stories I've written I think I could publish a book before I even reach my fifteenth birthday! I'm only joking. Thanks.. REVIEW! (But you knew I was going to say that.)