Chapter 5

"How old were you?" Kahlan was glad that night had darkened the area surrounding them so that Aeryn couldn't see her blushing furiously. She busied herself mixing the poultice while she waited for an answer.

"When I lost my virginity?" Aeryn knew that's what she wanted to know, but teasing the confessor was amusing her. "Fifteen cycles. It was a fit of rebellion. I was raised on a ship, trained as a soldier my whole life. Since birth I've known what I was to be. What I was supposed to be, anyway."

"Tell me?"

"It's not very exciting. I was angry that I'd been held back from fighter training. I was smaller still, I hit a growth spurt around seventeen cycles, they told me I couldn't fly yet. I've never liked hearing that I can't do something." Aeryn winked at Kahlan, not knowing if she could see it in the candle light.

"I've known you for less than a day and I've already figured that out…"

"Well, they didn't take my fit of rage very well. I was flung into the brig to await my discipline." She recalled that night, thinking on how to explain it all to Kahlan. "I wasn't alone in my cell. A boy, I think he was sixteen or so, was already hunched in the corner. His face was twisted with anger. I knew him from around the ship. We didn't interact much because he was in a different program, tech work I think. He scowled at me from his spot in the corner for about an arn before he finally spoke."

"What was his name?"

"I didn't ask."

"You… don't know…?"

"Peacekeepers are trained not to care. I didn't need to know. Not then." Aeryn couldn't imagine not calling out John's name when she reached climax now, she'd become so different. "He told me I was pretty. Asked why I was in there. I informed him that I was being held back unfairly and he made some sly remark about me being small for being on the fighter training rotation. This made me angry and I got up from my spot on one of the cots in there. I walked right over to him and went to slap him. I didn't know that it was what he wanted. He grabbed my wrist and tugged me to him. Then he kissed me."

Kahlan finished with the mixture for John's head. She scrubbed the dishes next as she listened to her story. She had a feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach. She didn't know if she really wanted to hear how this had ended. She felt for her, she'd been trained not to care but she could see how much it hurt her, even in the weak light, to speak of this.

"Have you told John about this?"

She was surprised at the question. She hadn't even finished the telling and Kahlan was already concerned about it effecting her relationship with John.

"Not really. I don't like to talk about it much." She leaned back against the bank, propping herself on her elbows. She tried to make her position more open as if to tell her that it didn't matter. The past was the past. "He's never really asked me much about my previous lovers, except the one that really made a difference. This one was merely the first in a line of people that I used and used me."

She nodded at her, understanding what it was like to hold onto something painful. She'd been traveling for two years with the man she loved but thought that she could never have.

"I'll tell him… one day. When he's ready." Aeryn tilted her head asking if Kahlan wanted to hear more.

"Was it rape?" She didn't want to pry, but she had to know. Something in her needed to hear that she hadn't had to endure that. Although she instinctively knew that she could have. She just hoped that she hadn't had to deal with that. Not in the environment she'd grown up in.

"No." She shook her head rapidly. Denying that word. "I was willing. I wasn't ready, I know that now, but I was willing. I gave my body to him. It wasn't pleasurable. I learned about that a few years later. It just… was."

"You enjoy it now?"

Aeryn fell back to the earth and laughed.

"Oh yes, very much. Especially with John. He loves me and he knows how to please me in every way. Fast, impossibly slow, with his hands and mouth and…" she looked at Kahlan and raised her brows. "Oh it's so good. I'm ready just remembering the last time we had time to enjoy each other."

"Oh, Spirits…" Kahlan gulped trying to dislodge the lump that was in her throat. She'd never talked about this with anyone. She'd heard things, of course, from Cara and the older Confessors back when she was training, but this was the first time she'd asked anything. Cara sometimes made her feel silly for not knowing anything. The looks she would throw at her as if she was born yesterday.

"Kahlan, I want you to ask me whatever you'd like. I'm not very open, in general, but I think that you and I have a connection of some sort. It's strange, I've been all over the universe and met many kinds of beings and you're one of the first people I've ever felt close to. Maybe John has changed me so much that I've opened myself up to others."

The dishes were finished so she collected them together and set them in the bag she'd toted along. She wanted to know things. She didn't want to have to ask Richard. She knew that he'd answer anything she asked, as best he could, and not judge her. Sometimes you just needed to talk to another woman though. She contemplated suggesting that they head back to the men, but what if this was her only opportunity for something like this? She wanted Richard in every way. She didn't want to wait until they returned to Aydindril. Aeryn could help her.

"How can I convince him not to wait?"

"You just need to make it so he can't. Can you wear a little less? That white dress is nice, but maybe showing a little more skin would entice him."

"I've got anther dress, it's dark, i usually wear it for traveling but we just came from town today and I was dressed for confessions."

"Good. Skin always makes men want you more, especially if it's just peeks of it. It's like they need to see what's under it." Aeryn smiled thinking about John slipping his fingers under her leather and how much he liked to touch the exposed line of flesh on her stomach.

"I could just travel in my corset and skirt…"

"If you accidentally brush them while doing menial tasks, place a hand on his thigh or arm. Speak closely to him. Lead him on a merry chase. You have to make him want you more than he wants to wait." Aeryn stood and brushed the dirt off her pants. She picked up the pack and then offered Kahlan her hand to assist her to stand. Aeryn grabbed the bowl of paste poultice as well.

The two women walked back towards their men together. They talked about all the things that the men had in common their sweetness hidden under a tough exterior, the way they put the group before the individual and how much they seemed to enjoy being in love with them. Both of them had accepted that love wouldn't be apart of their lives in any real sense of the word and both women had been proven incorrect. Being wrong wasn't so bad, they decided, when the prize at the end was a loving significant other.

Kahlan stopped Aeryn a few feet from camp, she could hear the men talking and she put her finger to her lips, wanting to eavesdrop a bit, see what they were speaking about.

Richard heard them coming, then he didn't see them break through the trees. So they thought the were being sneaky, did they. Eavesdropping on them to hear if they were gossiping. Didn't she know that men didn't gossip. He'd teach her a lesson in manners. He winked at John and pointed to the woods making a cup around his ear with his other hand. He saw the smile of understanding.

"One time when we were in this small village called Caminiper Kahlan offered to help this small boy collect the morning eggs. She'd seen him crying as he left the cottage and being the compassionate person that she is she went over to see what was wrong. He informed her that his terribly, evil mother had sent him to get the eggs from the hens. Well what she didn't know was that the hens in that henhouse were possessed. They were like baneling chickens. Sent by the keeper to peck you to death if you try to steal their eggs. That's why the boy was crying. This kid was probably around six years old and he wasn't dumb. He saw the perfect opportunity to take advantage of Kahlan's generosity. Oh that kid should be on stage with the way he played at her heart strings. So she goes back to the henhouse with him and takes the basket. I've never heard a louder scream out of her then when she reached for the first egg. It wasn't pain, mostly just fear. She was being attacked by a flock of hens. Not just one, you went in there with a basket and the whole lot of them started going after you. I was almost in tears from laughter."

"Richard Rahl!" Kahlan charged out of the woods hands on her hips. "You promised never to tell that tale to another soul!"

"That's what you get for eavesdropping Ms. Amnell." He grinned widely at her and leapt from the ground. His arms wrapped about her waist and he tugged her to his chest. He kissed her nose, then her cheeks, then her lips. Lightly caressing them with his mouth. "It's poor manners to listen in on someone else's conversation young lady."

"I should know better than to try to sneak up on a woods guide." She hugged him back and connected their mouths again. This time they lingered longer letting the kiss go on despite the audience. His mouth opened and she accepted the invitation. Their tongues caressed each other in a slow, sensual rhythm. Minutes passed as their mouths made love. She could feel him hardening against her belly and that's when she pulled away.

Always leave them wanting more, Aeryn's voice echoed in her head. Never let him be the one to end the contact eventually he will be so on edge that he won't let her end it and she'd get exactly what she wanted. All of him.

"He's awake." Kahlan observed. Aeryn had already settled in by his side, her arms were hugging him to her and she was laying with her head against his chest.

"Yeah he was slightly disoriented when he came to but it didn't take him long to remember what had happened. I think that by morning he'll be better with that poultice you two prepared" Richard had experienced enough head wounds to know that even though you had a headache for a few days the second day seemed a lot easier to function.

He returned to his spot next to Crichton and picked up the paste that Aeryn had set next to him. Carefully, he unwrapped his head and applied the medicine. It was sloppy but it would pull out any infection and keep the wound clean. When it was coated thoroughly he wrapped it again with fresh bandages. He was far too experienced at wound treatment for his liking. There had been too many injuries over the years.

"Did you men have a good conversation? Aeryn and I got on really well." Kahlan leaned her forehead against his and rubbed her nose to his in an eskimo kiss.

"Mmm, yeah, he's a very nice guy. We became fast friends. Both of us are involved with remarkable women. It's a good starting point for a relationship." She pecked him on the lips before freeing herself from his embrace.

"I'm beat, Richard, I think I'll turn in for the night. Are you going to come to bed, or stay up a bit longer?"

"I just want to make sure that these two have enough supplies for the night then I'll be there." At her nod he watched her shuffle over to their place on the ground and then settle in for the night. He walked over to John and Aeryn and crouched next to them. "Do you two need anything?"

"No, I think we're ok. I've got an extra blanket in the module. I'm about to walk over and get it." Aeryn stood from her spot wrapped around her lover.

"I'll come with you. It's dark and I wouldn't want you to get lost out there." Richard saw her hesitate wanting to appear strong and self sufficient but then she glanced at John and sighed.

"Lead the way." She motioned her hand in the direction of the module. He gladly took the lead, navigating these woods was what he'd done his whole life. He knew how to do it effortlessly light or dark, rain or shine. "Always a hero wherever I end up, someone takes up the role." She heard him chuckle and smiled.

"Well it would be bad for my reputation if you got lost and it got out that you were with the Seeker."

They hear John chuckle and wave at them as they hit the edge of the camp.

"By all means, we wouldn't want to have to stop that kind of bad publicity. Take care of her Richard, for the three microns it will take to get to the ship and back." He was in much better spirits since the throbbing in his head had decreased and Aeryn had returned safe and sound. She'd immediately tumbled into his arms and that had soothed any worry he'd still been harboring in the back of his mind. He knew rationally it was silly but seeing her alive and well made him breath easier.

John watched the two of them leave and he looked over at Kahlan. She seemed to be settled in. The white dress she'd been wearing was now laying beside her folded, he hadn't even noticed her removing it. Her eyes were closed but he didn't think that she was asleep yet.

"Did she tell you things that will help you convince that poor man to stop being nobel to a fault?" He saw the smile on her mouth even through the faint light from the fire. Her white teeth were bright against the dim light and gave her away.

"Mmhmm. She was most helpful. She said that she was able to keep you hanging on her every word for months before she finally gave in."

He barked out a laugh.

"I don't know if it happened quite like that but I was smitten with her almost instantly and I knew I was in love with her not long after that. She took time though. Aeryn, she takes time. When you haven't grown up knowing love it's hard to recognize it."

"I can relate."

"Richard mentioned something along those lines."

"I knew of love, I understood some of it. Sisterly love, motherly love and for a short time the love of ones father. But the love between a man and a woman. That I never knew would be possible. The fact that it is, for me anyway, now. It's frightening and exciting and I'm afraid the anticipation will be better than the actual act." Kahlan stopped herself. Why was she just speaking all her feelings suddenly to these people?

"You're similar to her. I can see how Richard was in love at first sight."

"It went both ways, I just tried desperately to stop it, then to hide it. Unsuccessfully." Kahlan's eyes had opened for their chat but they were drooping shut and a yawn escaped her mouth.

"I'll let you sleep, Kahlan. Thanks for helping us."

"It's what we do. Thanks to you as well. Having people, friends, who understand our situation is nice." With that she drifted into sleep.