For the 2010 Robin Hood drabblefest
Prompt: Guards; vs. technology
Summary: Guy attempts to train the guards in the use of exciting new equipment, without success
"But what do you do with it?" Fred asked, frowning.
"You hit people with it," Guy said, amending quickly, "preferably the enemy."
Fred swung the morning star experimentally and hit Roger in the head. Roger gave a wail and fell to the floor. Guy glared at Fred.
"This is a shuriken," Guy explained. "The Sheriff had them shipped in especially. You throw –" He broke off and marched quickly to the side of the assembled guards, taking cover by a wagon. "You throw them, carefully, away from you."
Throwing stars fell into the dust, one made it several metres before startling a horse that proceeded to cause havoc by rearing and neighing, and the only one to actually hit anything was the one that embedded itself in the cart Guy was sheltering behind.
"Sir," Trevor called, "I think mine went in my eye."
Guy pinched the bridge of his nose. He wasn't getting paid enough for this.
"This," Guy said grimly, "is a trebuchet." At a raised hand, Guy sighed and said, "Yes, Fred, sort of like a giant catapult."
After two of the guards were sent sailing over the castle walls, one issuing a joyful "Wheeee!" sound as he disappeared into the distance, Guy went inside with a migraine. The rest of the guards shuffled about for a while and then decided to clear away the rest of the new equipment and call it a day.
"Hey," Wallace called, rooting through a box marked 'DANGER'. "What do you suppose these funny candles are?"