A/N: Hey all. Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed this. This chapter is where the story finally earns a bit of its M rating though there's no lemon. Sorry. It's just not quite that kind of story. Almost, but not quite. You'll see.
Bella slept fitfully that night with the pouch cradled next to her. It was all she had to hang on to. He had taken everything, thorough to the last. Every photo, every gift, everything. Her dreams were filled with chasing him but he was always out of reach. She crawled through muddy banks, frozen snowdrifts and tangled tree limbs and he was always a step ahead, never waiting though she called out to him again and again. But her eyes were dry when she opened them. She left her tears in the ocean the day she jumped.
Charlie was gone for the weekend by the time she woke up and that was all for the best. How could she tell him she wasn't eating because an old woman on the Reservation told her not to? She couldn't. He would chalk it up to depression and stay home to keep an eye on her. This was crazy right? But no more crazy than wanting to die because the vampire you love with every inch of your soul left you.
So she spent the day staring out the window at the rain drizzling down and didn't eat a thing. She thought about the past, thought about where they were right at this moment. Did they ever think of her? Does Alice see any of this? Is he even alive? Would he be mad at me? Tell me I'm pathetic? Her heart sped through her chest with fear of what was to come.
When evening drew near Bella took a long bath in scalding water. She used no soap as instructed and tried to focus on what she wanted to happen tonight, on him coming back. For the first time in ages she forced herself to picture him fully, to remember every line and shadow, every perfect feature; she recalled vividly his smell, the coolness of his touch against her skin and her body responded. Her eyes fluttered closed and a familiar ache crept between her legs. She placed a hand over that spot that belonged only to him, cradling it as though to comfort it, as if to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry you will never feel the things you should. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough.
After the bath she packed a bag with the necessary items and headed to the last place she saw him. Walking into that space was like walking into a thick black choking fog. She felt the edges of a panic attack creeping up on her as memories of that day flooded forward…
I'll always love you… in a way.
I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. It will be as if I'd never existed.
You're human—your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind.
I won't forget. But my kind… we're very easily distracted.
That last part was always the hardest for her. What did that mean, distracted? Was there already someone else? Is that why he had left?
She built a small fire in the center of the clearing using some tinder from home and the Blackthorn branches the Shaman had given her. She took a deep breath and removed her clothes as the Shaman had instructed. She took the bag of salt and drew a large circle around the campfire and then knelt next to the fire watching the sky darken. She should have felt scared sitting naked in a forest alone but she wasn't. She had come face to face with death more than once and danced with the ghosts in the dark and nothing was going to stop her from trying to get back the only thing that had ever mattered.
She closed her eyes once again bringing him to mind, trying to picture where he was and what he was doing. She whispered his name, each breath a dagger in her heart, but she imagined him hearing it. She could see him cocking his head listening, wondering where it was coming from. That frustrated look creeping across his face and pinching the skin on his forehead when he couldn't solve something, so unused to not being in control. She pictured him coming back, telling her he loves her, telling her he's sorry. She let these images build in fervor and depth and emotion, adding details with every pass.
The scroll of parchment paper lay before her as does one small Blackthorn branch. She snaps off one of the large pointed thorns and pierces her finger with it watching the blood well on its tip. It glows in the firelight and its copper scent is mixed with the smell of burning wood and damp forest. Before it has a chance to dry she write Edward's name on the yellow paper three times and then tosses it into the fire. The flames sputter and spark and she take another deep breath.
Elsewhere…
Edward's head snapped up and he scanned the room listening. He'd been sitting in front of the fire staring at it blankly while Alice sat nearby reading. She never strayed far from him since their family had left Forks. Alice looked at him questioningly.
Standing above the fire Bella took a fresh thorn and slid it across the palm of her hand letting the blood fall to the flames. The burning wood scent helped to cloak the smell of her blood that would normally have made her faint. This is the last thing that I have. The last thing that ties me to him and the only thing that might bring him back. She stares at the trickling red liquid in wonder. It was this very thing that had set all this in motion that had brought him to her in the first place and then cast him out, such a simple thing; common and yet vital. She stood and watched and waited and wondered.
"Edward?" asked Alice.
He was sniffing the air now, rising from his seat, his brow furrowed. His eyes landed on Alice and she let out a small cry of surprise at what she saw there.
Edward was going home.
Bella lay next to the dying embers of the fire determined to wait until dawn. If nothing happened by then she would go home and have a good laugh at herself for believing in such nonsense. She was toying with a loose string on the sleeping bag when she heard it, a faint rustling just outside the circle. She froze.
"Bella…" she heard him whisper, his velvet voice wrapping around her like sandpaper rubbing her raw. She closed her eyes and tugged the loose string free with a snap. Breathe Bella, breathe.She thought to herself. You're just delirious. You haven't eaten. You haven't slept. You're hearing what you want to hear.
"Bella, please." She heard him more distinctly this time and sensed that he had fallen to his knees a few paces away from her.
"Go away." She whispered quietly still keeping her eyes closed. This was all some sort of joke. It was almost morning. She'd been sitting in a forest naked all night cutting herself because an old woman told her to and she finally must be off the deep end like everyone thought. A single tear slipped out the corner of her eye and fell to the earth. She knew he didn't want her. This was impossible, foolish and childish.
She heard him shuffle, try to move forward and then hiss in retreat. "Bella look at me!"
Slowly she opened her eyes and lifted her head in the direction of his voice. And there he was, worn and tired looking but beautiful as ever. The look on his face was pleading and frustrated. He kept trying to crawl forward but he could never get past the circle of salt.
They stared at one another while Bella crawled to her hands and knees, her heart pounding furiously in her chest and her tears began to flow in earnest. "Y…you left me…you left me…" she stuttered out through her tears.
"Bella…" he pleaded, once again reaching for her and once again held back by the invisible wall.
"YOU LEFT ME! YOU FUCKING LEFT ME!" she screamed at him raising herself up to her feet.
He stared at her in shock, partly by her words and partly by her state of undress. Then he noticed the cut on her hand.
"Bella…what are you doing? What did you do?"
"She told me it would bring you back." She said looking down at her hand. "But only if you loved me. Only if it was meant to be. Do you love me Edward? Is that why you're here? Or is it because you want my blood?" There was a cold edge to her voice when she said that last part.
Again he tried to reach for her and again he couldn't. He screamed his own frustration and stood pacing.
"Do you have any idea what I went through?" she continued. "Did Alice tell you? You killed me that day Edward. So I tried to finish it. I jumped off the cliffs. You told me I would forget. I didn't forget. I dream about you every night and wake up screaming and crying every day. I needed it to end but I couldn't even do that right. You killed me Edward. You killed me more than anyone ever could have. More than James, more than Victoria, more than any other creature on this planet ever could have…"
"Stop it." He growled.
"No. I love you Edward. I always have and I always will. But I really wish right now that I could make you feel a fraction of the pain that you made me feel."
"You think I don't?!" He spun on her marching forward only to be stopped once again. "For God's sake Bella!" he exclaimed looking down at the salt line on the ground. "What the hell is this?!"
Bella stepped forward and faced him, mere inches separating them. "It's to keep your kind out."
She meant to say more but then they were staring at each other for the first time in months. Amber eyes staring into brown and without even realizing it they began to breathe in sync, each inhale and exhale mirroring the other. Their hearts and minds may have been screaming at each other but their bodies recognized the need to be together, the true place called home.
"Bella, please." He pleaded again quietly, this time raising a hand as if to cup her face but keeping it suspended between them. He finally let his eyes take her in fully, scanning her nude form for the first time ever. As he made his way back up her body he closed his eyes briefly and when he opened them again they were full of need and pain and love. "You are so beautiful. I need you Bella. I'm so sorry. So sorry."
She began to reach for him but then the anger took her again. She paced away from him curling her fists in frustration. "God! I want to hit you! Why do you have to be so damn unbreakable?!" she screamed and picked up one of the rocks she used to ring the fire with. She threw it at him with all her might knowing it was futile. He caught it effortlessly and tossed it back towards the fire and in doing so his arm crossed over the salt line.
Over the salt line.
Realization hit them at the same time and they stared at each other for the briefest of seconds before Edward was on her, his mouth ravishing hers, holding her tightly to him.
"I'm still mad at you." She said in between kisses while she kept herself limp in his arms.
"I don't care." He replied and continued his attack on her flesh kissing all his favorite spots. Her lips, her jaw, her collarbone, and the pulse point just under her ear. He couldn't get enough. His hands slid along the bare skin of her back and he growled at the knowledge that only the thin layer of his clothes separated them. She may have been trying to act passive, act like this wasn't affecting her but she couldn't hide her body's reactions from his keen senses.
"There's no use pretending you don't like this Bella. I can smell you."
"Of course you can." She chided innocently.
"No." he said pulling back and giving her a heated look. "Here." He said, and pushed her center against him.
"Oh." She mouthed and buried her face in his shirt, finally clinging to him.
"Bella look at me."
She looked up but kept her hands wound in his shirt. He ran a hand through her hair and then along her blush stained cheeks.
"I love you. I never stopped loving you. I was stupid. I thought if I left you would go on and have a normal life. I didn't think you could love me nearly as much as I love you."
He leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Never again Bella. I will never leave you again."
There was a truth and a weight to his words that left her speechless so she simply stared at him until he pulled their bodies together once more and gently rocked her while taking in deep breaths of the air around her. "You've no idea Bella, no idea how much I've missed you." He spoke into her hair, cradling her.
"Will you do something for me?"
She began to protest but he pressed a pale finger to her lips. "Watch the sunrise with me?"
She nodded and went to fetch her clothes.
"Ah-ah." He said, gently grabbing her wrist and smiling for the first time that night. "I rather like you like this." He said, nodding at her naked body. He scooped up the sleeping bag and wrapped it around her before taking off through the forest with Bella in his arms.
Within a few minutes time they were on a high peak looking out over a green grey sea of trees. They sat next to each other as the first tendrils of sunlight crawled across the sky. She held his hand in her lap and watched as his skin began to shimmer and dance. She turned it this way and that, tracing its lines, unable to bring herself to look anywhere else.
"What are you thinking love?" he asked her.
"I'm waiting for you to disappear. If I look up you'll be gone. Just like all my other dreams."
He sighed and puller her into his lap. "I'm not going anywhere Bella. Ever. What can I do?"
"Nothing Edward." She replied, finally looking up at him. "There isn't anything you can do except keep your word and that's something that only time can tell."
"Time I have." He said, clasping her delicate face in his strong hands. He kissed her deeply as the new day broke above them.
There would be no more good-byes.
A/N: I got this idea because I figured if there are vampires and werewolves and shape-shifters then why not magic? And I wanted a reunion that was a bit more realistic emotionally. One where Bella didn't immediately take him back and forget everything. One where he would have to work at things. But of course I also wanted them to be together. To me anger and passion are intrinsically linked so I wanted to show that here through their yelling and then the kissing. You can be mad at someone and still love them.
Anyway, hope it all made sense and I hope you enjoyed.