A/N: Soo…um, this chapter turned out to be a bit lemony. I hadn't intended that but apparently the muse had other ideas. Don't worry, there's still a plot. But I guess they needed this.

Mara: I'm so happy I can provide you with an escape and really touched by your words. I'm super curious…who's the other author besides me and Aleea? I love reading good stuff too so recs are always welcome.

Brokentragedy2: LOVE YOUUU! I'm sorry I made you late for work but then again that's a huge compliment. And yeah, True Blood! What did you think? And did you watch The Vampire Diaries?

Saritadreaming: I'm glad I made you cry. Um, you know what I mean right? That's just such a huge compliment. With any writing that I do I want to make people think and feel so thank you for telling me that. Yeah, I figured Bella would feel more comfortable writing, especially with him having been away it would have been the only thing she could do.

RubyLou: Sorry they didn't end up having that discussion in this chapter but I promise they will have it. They still have a LOT to talk about. And thank you for reading and reviewing.

Baynewen: Ha, yeah I love cliffhangers. I love reading them too. I'm glad you think I'm doing right by the characters. I'm trying. It's hard walking that line between keeping them true to the original vision and yet having them grow as well. Thank you so much for your thoughts.

I watched the letter float from his slender fingers to the dark wood floor beneath and then raised my eyes to look at him. What met me was a newfound determination. He was looking at me with a mix of feral heat and confidence, a cross somewhere between his animal self and the part of him that was a man. He was also incredibly filthy.

He took a step towards me and I sat up.

"Edward, don't you dare set so much as a toe on this bed." I said sternly.

He paused in his tracks still not saying a word.

"Have you seen yourself? You're covered in mud and dirt and is that a leaf in your hair?"

He frowned.

Just then the skies opened up creating a heavy thrumming on the roof, hardly a space in between each drop.

"Out." I said, pointing at the window.

He straightened up.

"No."

The forcefulness in his voice and behind that one simple word sent a shiver through me but I realized he must have thought I was kicking him out again. I sat up fully swinging my legs over the side of my bed and then I stood walking towards him.

"You are a mess. You need to clean up and you can't take a shower here so go outside and take advantage of the rain. I'll even come with you."

He frowned again.

"You'll get sick." He whispered. His tone had softened and edges of the old, caring Edward seeped back in.

"I won't get sick." I defended myself. "We won't be out there long and I'll get us towels straight away when we come back inside."

He paused, thinking.

His face scrunched some more but then resigned itself.

"Okay."

He opened the window and picked me up and in a flash we were standing on the soft earth getting pelted by the rain. The mud streaked off of him in thin rivulets and I reached up to run my hands through his hair ridding it of the debris that had gathered there. He let me do this for him, just standing there passively as I pulled twigs and leaves from his bronze locks and then I continued down his face wiping away the traces of the forest.

I thought to ask him why he was so disheveled but decided I didn't want to ruin the moment. This simple act of grooming him, even in such an unconventional manner, seemed more intimate in some ways than anything we had previously shared.

When I reached the collar of his shirt I skimmed my hands down to the bottom so I could lift it over his head. No amount of rain was going to salvage it. It was torn and stained and there was no way it was going in my house.

Edward's hands covered mine and for a moment I thought he was going to stop me that we had suddenly taken two steps back but instead he took over and lifted it above his head and tossed it into the nearby woods. I realized this was the first time I had ever seen him like this. I stood dumbfounded, mouth agape like a fish out of water. How could any one person be so beautiful?

His chest was pale and clean having been protected by the long gone shirt and I found myself longing to run my fingers over the hard lines of him. What would it feel like under my fingertips? It was uncharted, forbidden territory and I wanted to be the first to explore it.

My senses finally got the better of me though and I realized that I was rudely staring at him like he was a piece of meat. I broke my gaze from his smooth torso and finally looked in his golden eyes. Well they should have been golden. But they weren't. They were dark like a leaf turned brown once it has fallen from the tree but they still held an ethereal unnatural quality.

Before I knew what was happening Edward had pushed me up against the side of the house with a loud thump, one of my legs was held firmly in his grasp and raised up while he pushed himself between my thighs.

I think I moaned slightly but I was beyond normal comprehension as a million thoughts raced through my head. Should I be afraid? Was he going to take me right here? Like this? Is this why he had looked so feral moments ago in my room? Was he even himself right now? And why am I even thinking at all?

His lips were on me the whole time my internal dialogue raged within me but then he suddenly pulled away though keeping his forehead pressed against mine.

"Fuck." He muttered.

I'd never heard him swear before. It clicked something inside of me and Edward must have sensed it because his eyes met mine once more and he pressed into me again. But then he growled quietly and pulled away altogether.

"What?" I asked, paranoid that I had done something wrong, that he was going to reject me and tell me how dangerous he is and every other argument for keeping us cloistered away from each other's bodies.

"You're father is awake."

My hand quickly went to my mouth in shock. In a matter of seconds Edward had me bundled in my sheets and blankets in my bed and instructed me to wrap myself up in them tightly and pretend to be sleeping. I wanted to ask him what he was going to do but I got my answer as soon as he slithered under the bed. I hoped there weren't too many dust bunnies under there.

I made myself into a cocoon and feigned sleep just in time to hear my Father crack open the door and peek inside. I was sure he must have thought that I was having one of my nightmares and perhaps had even fallen out of bed. He stood there for a moment and then I heard him gingerly shut the door. I waited for Edward to indicate that it was okay to move. A few more minutes passed and I understood what was taking so long when I heard the toilet flush from the bathroom.

Only then did Edward come out from under the bed and gently place a hand on me. I rolled over to look at him and had to stifle a laugh at the absurdity of the situation. Did other teenagers do this? Sneak into each others rooms at night? Well at least in this case I had a boyfriend with super sensitive hearing that saved us from having to explain a very awkward moment.

I unrolled myself and sighed.

"Well now what?" I asked.

He knelt down beside the bed and ran a finger through my wet hair.

"We wait a few more minutes and then I get us a towel."

He was smiling and looking at peace. It was nice to see.

"Do you have clean sheets or blankets?" He asked.

"Yes, in the closet."

I rose to get them and as quietly as I could I changed the bedding so we would have something dry to sleep on. By the time I was done Edward had returned with fresh towels. I hadn't even heard him leave. It was slightly startling. I would have to re-acclimate myself to his various talents.

He held out a towel to me and we looked at each other for a moment realizing that we'd have to get out of our wet clothes before we could thoroughly dry off.

"Ummm…" I faltered. I raised my hand in the air and twirled my finger in the direction of my closet. "I'll just…go over there." I said hoping he'd take the hint and plant himself in the corner by the window.

I moved to behind the closet door and stripped, toweling myself off as I went. I started with my hair and made my way down removing my sticky clothes until I was left in nothing but my underpants. That's when I heard the closet door creak as it was swung open. It doesn't matter how stealthy you are, there is no way to keep a hundred year old hinge from creaking if it wants to.

Edward was behind me. I knew it, could sense it, and my suspicion was confirmed when I felt his body press up against me. He was only in his boxers and no longer wet but every part of him was still hard. I felt one hand slide around me and come to rest along my collarbone while the other snaked its way along my hip and skimmed the front of my underwear.

I stiffened.

"Edward. What…?"

"Let me do this for you Bella. Please."

"You already did." I replied, turning my head to the side and away from him, thinking back on the other night. I could already feel my face heating up.

"You weren't awake." He retorted.

It's true. I hadn't been. Not really. Not even at the end when I heard his words and felt his hand at my back. I was lost in a fog of sleep half wondering if I was merely dreaming. This would be very very unlike that if I allowed it to happen.

"I need you to know that I want you Bella. That I've always wanted you."

"I believe you…" I stuttered.

"No. You don't"

I couldn't deny it. I didn't believe him. I wanted to argue with him. Tell him that he was doing this for himself, not me, but before I could formulate the words to protest his hand was sliding south and nestling itself between my thighs at the apex of all things female, the very place where life was created. I drew in a sharp breath and grabbed onto his bicep that was a rock of muscle and sinew straining against marble flesh.

EPOV

I held her to me, her tiny body trembling under my touch. How many times I had thought of this and never had the courage to tell her, always afraid that any encouragement would cause her to push our boundaries and risk her life. But all that time I hadn't realized what I was really doing. Pushing her away, making her feel unwanted, and fueling the fire of insecurity that lived inside her.

I knew this wouldn't fix things, fix us, but I had to try. If I could make her feel wanted in any way I would do it. I knew she wanted to feel more normal at least as normal as we could. No. That's not quite it. She wants me to feel normal, to trust myself and I do now. She's the one who needs to learn that.

I caressed her slowly, gently, and she gasped beneath me with each swipe of my fingers. It was so beautiful, all of it. The rush of blood to her skin, the sound of her breathing, the heat emanating from her, the way she clung to me.

I guided her over to the bed, my hands never leaving her, and laid us down on our sides so that her back was still to me, resting against my chest. Her body was vibrating, her breaths growing shallow with each passing second and I knew she was close so I increased my speed.

"I love you." I whispered and then placed a kiss on her neck.

She took one last deep breath and held it. And then she fell apart. She rocked against me, her nails trying to dig into my impenetrable skin and her eyes were screwed shut. She ended up biting my arm in an attempt to stifle her scream and in turn I had to stifle my own groan.

It took a few minutes for her to still and for her breathing to return to normal and when it did she kept herself facing away from me.

"I…I should change." She whispered.

"No."

"Edward." She whined.

I sighed. "You can put a shirt on." I told her.

"Don't look." She warned as she stood up.

I didn't. I may want her but I was no cad. I could respect her wishes. Within reason, I smirked to myself. But I turned my gaze towards the ceiling and waited patiently for her.

She returned to the bed clad in a long sleeve t-shirt but to my delight in nothing other than her still rain dampened panties. I curled up against her and lifted the covers over us and then nestled my hand between her legs covering her mound protectively.

"Edward…" She whined again, moving to bat my hand away.

"Mh, mh." I said. "This is mine." And I applied light pressure so she could not mistake what I meant, what I was claiming for my own.

She said nothing else and soon fell asleep. I watched her, occasionally kissing her neck and shoulders. I felt truly happy. Happy that I was with her, happy that I had been able to give her this. I thanked God for this second chance to be with her and make things right.

Tomorrow I would call Alice and ask her what to do, what should come next. I wouldn't ask her to tell me the future. I was done using her as a crutch. Bella said we both needed to work on this so I figured the least I could do was try to make my own decisions without relying on the talents of my family. If there was anything important, anything dangerous, Alice would tell me. And she would tell Bella too. Because there would be no more secrets and no more running.

I would return to the house and face the shadows I'd left there. I'd uncover the furniture, dust the cobwebs, and sit down at my piano. I wasn't sure if I would play but I could at least spend some time with it. I almost felt like I owed it an apology too.

So many things to atone for…at least I have millennia to do so.