Liz's POV
I was the cool older sister, I always had been, Eli knew he could talk to me about anything, so why hadnt he talked to me about this? had this been his first time? did he use protection? how am i going to do this? I can barely keep myself alive let alone a 16 year old! will i make enough money? what if i screw him up? should I be strict or easy going? why were the Goldsworthys always so filled with questions? Questions like this roaming around in my brain had kept me up all night, looking over at the clock its read, 7:07 am, I felt that was an ok time to get up and start making them breakfast, After all I was on West Coast time, thats like 10 am for Vancouver! any normal person wouldnt question someone waking up at 10 am! Oh great now my heads having conversations with its self!
Going into the kitchen I decided it was a tad to early to start cooking, They wouldnt be up for hours, I could at the very least make sure we had everything for Grandma Goldsworthys pancakes though, They were Elis favourite and I knew he would appreciate them, I always made them for him when Sara Beth left, I looked
through the cupboards and found everything except one ingredient,
"Mom kept the nutmeg in the fridge" I heard his voice and spun around fast, clutching the back of flour to my chest.
"Dude! you scared me! and how do you know what im looking for huh?" I asked with an over exagerated espression on my face
"Becuase you got into town yesterday and your gunna make Grandmas pancakes, plus you always say its stupid mom keeps the nutmeg in the fridge." he replied sitting down at the table and yawning
"well it is stupid she keeps nutmeg in the fridge, do you still drink coffee?" I asked grabbing a cup out of the cupboard,
"Yeah, I do, why did you actually make some?"
"Of course i did! still telling people you take it black?" I asked
"Yah" he replied a small smile pulling at the edges of his lips
"So milk and sugar?" He actually laughed out loud when I asked him that,
"Yeah, that sounds perfect,"
When I had the coffee poured and ready I took both our coffees to the table, I knew he had a million questions, we always did this, the day after Sara Beth left we would sit and talk, throwing all of our brain questions out hoping the other would have answers,
"Wheres Clare?" I figured starting off with an easy question was the best option
"Sleeping, she woke up when I did but I told her I wanted to talk to you for a bit first" he replied sipping his still hot coffee "are you mad that she stayed over?"
"No, im not mad, I wasnt expecting it, a little heads up that your semi naked girlfriend would be in the kitchen would have been nice, but im not mad about it"
"I wasnt expecting it either, but you know if I had been I would have talked to you about it first," he replied, the end coming as half question and half a statement
"I know, but as long as you were safe, and carefull...you were right?" I was afraid to know the answer, Eli wasnt a stupid guy but he was young, and people get caught up
"Liz, Dad and Lauren had you when they were like 17 of course I was careful! you and I have enough to worry about without me getting Clare pregnant" He responded, sounding a little sad at the end,
"Hey, you dont have anything to worry about, your going to continue leading your life like you were, youll go to school, youll hang out with Adam and Clare and Ill worry about the important stuff, like bills, food, clothing for you, and making sure I dont screw you up ok?" I didnt want him having to worry about me
"Screwing me up? Your the only stable thing in my life, and im not going to leave all of that up to you, Ill get a job, Ill help out, Besides you didnt offer to come here, you were forced to uproot your whole life because im too much of a screw up already and mom couldnt deal with me anymore, im not going to make you suffer more" It was moments like this that i remembered my little brother wasnt so little anymore, he was mature and responsible but I wanted him to hold onto his last few years of being a kid.
"Is that what you think? that somehow Sara Beth forced me to come stay with you? That I don't want to be living with you" I couldnt believe he felt this way, like I would need to be forced to come stay with my brother He didnt answer me, just looked at my with his big emerald eyes "Eli, I didn't only come back here for you, I've been thinking about moving home for a while, I just hadn't had a legitimate reason untill now, yes you were the main reason for me coming home, but not the only one and your not a screw up! I don't ever want to hear that again, you get straight a's you take honours English, your polite, and as far as I can tell I'm not the only one who thinks that way"
"mom did, she told me all the time how much harder I made the divorce, having to see dad In my face all the time" everytine he spoke like this I hated that woman even more
"your mothers an idiot! You are not a screw up, I know it, you know it, and from what I can tell there's a pretty little red head upstairs who knows it too." I looked into my brothers face, I hated how easily he was able to show his emotions, I was never able to put myself out here like he was. He stood up to people who put him down, and wasn't afraid to say he was hurt or upset. "We all know there was only one screw up in the family, and sorry little brother but I got that title long before you came along."
"Liz"
"Hey, ive manaed to cause 2 divorces, Id say i get to be the screw up here"
"that was the old you, Your not a screw up"
"Well if I dont get to be one then neither do you,"
"thanks, how Max?" Eli and Max had always gotten along great, "I mean is he ok with you being here" I couldnt tell him the truth, I didnt want him to know that I wasnt totally changed like he thought I was,
"your welcome, and Max is a story for another day" I finished, with that we finished our coffee discussing nothing heavier then the weather and the changes at his school.