(Oh, you know the drill... Invader Zim theme song plays blah blah blah...)
Ellie: Welcome back everyone, to the Invader Zim Questionnaire of Doom!
Audience: YAY!
Pleakley: This time we have Lard Nar as the guest!
Lard Nar: (sitting on seat) Hi
Ellie: (gives Lard Nar HUGE hug) Vortians are so cute in an ugly way!
Lard Nar: Let go of me!
Ellie: Ok... ^^
Pleakley: Well, we better start with the questions. We have six questions from The ALMIGHTY Invader Zim!
Ellie: The ALMIGHTY Invader Zim deserves one BIG cookie!
Pleakley: Indeed he does...
hmm. lets see:
1)What do you do for fun on that useless machine besides getting tortured by the triangle dude with the long name?
Lard Nar: Useless machine? How dare you call a Vort Ship a useless machine?
Ellie: Lard Nar's so cute when angry ^_^
Pleakley: Please ignore the adjectives, Lard Nar, and just answer the question
Lard Nar: Ok... um, well, I like looking at the stars, reading and...
Ellie: Drinking tea?
Lard Nar: Huh?
Ellie: You got an English accent. So... do you like drinking tea?
Lard Nar: Um... I guess so... but you also got a sort-of English accent
Ellie: I have an international accent. If anyone with an accent talks to me, that accent rubs off on me. And I've heard a lot of accents...
Lard Nar: I see... well, I also like designing the new Resisty ship! I'm almost done with the blueprints and, when it's finished, we'll be unstoppable!
Pleakley: No offence, but Resisty's a stupid name...
Lard Nar: I know... -_-"
Ellie: So, what's next?
Pleakley:
2)Did you build the resisty ship?
Lard Nar: I helped design it back when Vort wasn't, you know, conquered
Pleakley:
3)Why do you keep listening to spleenk?
Lard Nar: I ask myself that question every day... (glares and Spleenk)
Spleenk: Yeah... sorry about the whole almost getting zapped into pieces, the bad name and our ship, ya know... shrinky-self-destructing...
Pleakley: O.o Shrinky-self-destructing?
Ellie: The second best way to self-destruct with a the random explosion self-destruct being the best :D
Pleakley: Ok...
4)Are you planning another attack on the Massive?
Lard Nar: Yes
Purple: We're gunna beat you anyway...
Lard Nar: SCREW YOU!
Pleakley:
5)If so, why? you know their gonna kick your fat, ugly butts
Red: Even he knows we're going to win!
Lard Nar: I don't have a fat, ugly butt! And, even if I did, they're not kicking it, because the Resisty will be victorious! We have the soul! We've lost our planets to the Irkens, and we're fighting back with all our hearts!
The Resisty: ...
Pleakley: I think you're the only one fighting back with all your heart...
Lard Nar: -_-"
Pleakley:
6)How did you round up the resisty? (like how did you get all of the different alien races to cooperate like that?)
Lard Nar: Well, I escaped my prison cell on Vort and took the Vort Ship. I decided that I would travel the galaxy, freeing those less fortunate than me from the clutches of the Irken Empire. Also, some of them just came for the ride. Most of them didn't really know where else to go, so we all stuck together on the Vort Ship. Then Spleenk came up with the idea of forming a proper Resistance
Audience: (yawns)
Lard Nar: The story's not that boring, is it?
Everyone: ...
Member of Resisty: Actually... yeah, it kinda is... even for us
Lard Nar: This interview isn't going so well...
Ellie: Poor Lard Nar. Here's an ice cream! (gives Lard Nar chocolate chip ice cream)
Lard Nar: Chocolate chip! =D (eats ice cream)
Pleakley: We got another review! It's from zimtak3
your voice is funny.
Ellie: Who's, mine? You haven't even heard it O.o
Lard Nar: I think zimtak3 means me
do you hate gaz now? tell tak to suck it up and DATE ZIMMEH!
Lard Nar: Yes, she made me dress up as a pig!
Tak: I'll only date him if he does something nice to me
Ellie: Hey, I just realized that Zim's not here...
GIR: Master's busy making Earth explode and Dib went to stop him
Ellie: I see...
Pleakley: We've answered like seven questions already
Ellie: Really? Well, I guess it's time for a break. See ya guys!
Random voice: Welcome to the BE THE TALLEST FOR THE DAYshow!
Red: Who came up with this idea anyway?
GIR: (at Red) Miss Moosey loves you
Red: O_o
Robo-mum: Let's spin da arroooooooooow! (spins arrow) ARROOWWWWWWWW! (malfunctions)
(arrow spins, passes Dib, spins some more, passes Dib again. It's slowing down... it's at... Skoodge!)
Red and Purple: SKOODGE?
Skoodge: Whoa! I'm the Tallest! I knew hanging around here saying nothing would prove to benefit me in the end!
Gaz: You gunna make everyone wear piggy costumes?
Skoodge: No, why would I do that?
Gaz: I hate you...
Skoodge: Ok... well, I want the Massive to be turned back into its former self. And planet Gaz shall now get its old name back: Irk
Purple: I thought you said no laws were enforced after the Tallest's reign...
Random voice: The name of a planet isn't really a law...
Skoodge: We shall make preparations for an Operation Impending Doom 3, in which we shall aim to conquer around 30 planets
Lard Nar: Skoodge is proving to be a better Tallest than Red and Purple...
Skoodge: I want everything Gaz did to the Irken Empire to be reversed and I want to drive the Massive for a while...
Random Irkens: Yes, Tallest Skoodge! (walks away)
*four hours later*
(Skoodge has accidently crashed the Massive into Planet Dirt. For some random reason, everyone's there)
Red and Purple: O_O
Skoodge: Um... sorry guys...
Red: THAT'S why short Irkens don't drive the Massive! They can't see over the steering wheel!
Ellie: I always thought the Massive looked... smash-able :D
Lard Nar: One step closer to the downfall of the Irken Empire!
Tak: (glaring at Skoodge) I can't believe you did that...
Skoodge: Me either...
Ellie: So the Massive's been destroyed...
Pleakley: That's kind of random...
Ellie: Yeah... anyways, BACK TO ASKING LARD NAR QUESTIONS!
Lard Nar: Yay...
Pleakley: This one's from nv8tertak1:
...poor red...
Red: Yes, poor me!
Pleakley:
lard nar what would you do if the resisty turned on you?
Lard Nar: That's a good question... well, I'd get to an escape pod and get the heck away from them. Then I'd make a new Resisty or maybe go and live on one of those holiday Planets...
Ellie: Sounds nice
Lard Nar: And I'd probably get revenge on the Resisty for backstabbing the guy who rescued them
Pleakley: Next are some questions from invadercat:
*jumps in the air* I'm a nar fan(lol but like right after dib and gir)
Lard Nar: I have fans?
Ellie: I'm one! :D
Lard Nar: I have two fans! Ellie's a bit weird, but I still got fans! Beat that, you Irken scum!
Ellie: I'm sure there's more Lard Nar fans out there
(Zim appears)
Zim: I've still got more fans than you, though! MUHAHAHAHA! (disappears)
Everyone: ...
Pleakley: Anyway...
1. can I call you nar?
Lard Nar: Yeah
Ellie: Can I call you Nar?
Lard Nar: Yeah
Ellie: YAY! ^_^
2. when that one alien had the idea to go against the massive, why did you do it even if you thought you were going to die
Lard Nar: Well, I kind of forgot how big the Massive is...
Red: You helped design it!
Lard Nar: That was a long time ago!
3. I liked pirate monkies better...
Purple: Pirate Monkeys is a cool name...
Lard Nar: But, I thought... I wanted to strike fear into... oh forget it...
to tak: HOW CAN YOU HATE PUR! he iz so funny.
Tak: I don't hate Purple, I just think this Empire needs good leaders and Purple... well...
Purple: You are soooo banished
Red: No, she's awesome and clever for thinking that. Go Tak! (waves small flag with 'Tak' written on it)
Ellie: Red's a fan of Tak? I think this questionnaire is starting to corrupt the minds of the Invader Zim characters...
Pleakley: Though they were already pretty corrupted to begin with...
even tho on the other hand I want to kill them... I'M OUT
Purple: Kill me?
Red: When invadercat said 'kill them' she didn't mean Purple and me, right?
Ellie: I think she did...
Red: Oh crap...
Pleakley: Here's a random one from IDONTKNOW
im so confused i ALWAYS thought tak was a dude in a chick disguise i thought all erkins were boys but then i saw the whole ZATR what dose that stand for anyway i get that it means zimxtak but then i saw dibxzim thing and i hate that its so GAY can sombody help me
BYE!
Everyone: ...
Ellie: Um... here's an explanation...
ZATR stands for Zim and Tak romance. Tak's a girl, Zim's a boy. Not all Irkens are boys, there's Invader Tenn, Tallest Miyuki and bundles more that usually pop up in the background. Dib's a guy and, yes, DibxZim is gay...
Any questions?
Everyone: ...
Ellie: Good
Pleakley: Um, carrying on, here's a question from GazmRules
woo! Lard Nar is one of my favorite chaters! (Next to Red...)
Lard Nar: I've got another fan!
Lard Nar, is Shloonktapooxis you best friend?
Lard Nar: Best friend? Um... no
Shloonktapooxis: I thought we were friends!
Lard Nar: We are, just not best friends
Shloonktapooxis: Then Spleenk's my best friend!
Lard Nar: Ok...
Pleakley: ...anywho...
and were you one of the Vortains who designed to Massive?
Lard Nar: Uh huh, and I hate myself for it...
Red: You guys were beaten bad by us!
Lard Nar: Shut up, you over-grown caterpillar!
Red: Caterpillar?
Ellie: We find out Lard Nar was one of the designers in The Trial, a cancelled episode. You can find its script on the Zim Wiki
Pleakley: Here's another review from Moofy
Ellie: Wh-who?
Pleakley:
WHY AM I NOT IN THERE? IM CUTE! IVE BEEN ON TV! PUT MEEEE ON, THERE! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!
Ellie: S*** it's Moofy!
Pleakley: Who's that?
Ellie: She is the creepiest, scariest, most messed up person in Invader Zim... and she's found out about us...
Pleakley: So... what now?
Ellie: Moofy shall NOT come anywhere near this show until it's her episode. And, when that time comes, we will have LOTS of bodyguards and she'll have restraints. It's for the good of the show. She's insane
Pleakley: Ok...
Ellie: You'll know what I mean when she's here... anyway, are there any more reviews?
Pleakley: Yup, here's one from CityGirl1013:
XD Awsome! Lard Nar, would you rather be a ninja or a pirate? Sorry, I'm in a random mood. ^^'
Lard Nar: Um... this is a hard one... I guess Ninja because then I can beat the crap out of the Tallest :D
Red: I hate you
Purple: Me too
Ellie: No hating, guys
Pleakley: Remember, we're all one big 'Ohana!
Ellie: That's not gunna work here, Pleakley
Pleakley: It's not?
Shloonktapooxis: What's Oh-han-a?
Pleakley: 'Ohana is-
Ellie: We're light-years away from Hawaii, Pleakley. Let's just move on to the next question
Pleakley: Fine... here's some from Zimmyz teh best
Lard nar,
-1-why havent you made a better name 4 the resistance?
Lard Nar: Well, I've never been creative with names...
Pleakley:
-2-how about "the resistance"? its scary. it makes u say uh oh.
Lard Nar: Yeah, but I want our resistance to have a name so frightening, it'll go into the Guinness Galactic Record books for the scariest name for a resistance, and resistance just isn't scary enough...
-3-why do you keep listening to that guy?
Lard Nar: We've already answered that one, right?
Ellie: Yup, it was question 3 from The ALMIGHTY Invader Zim
Pleakley: Lard Nar, you're very popular, you know? I think you have more questions than GIR had!
Lard Nar: Really? I feel so loved 3
Pleakley: Here's one from invader kit
tak, i agree with you, but i hate both tallests. theyre so mean 2 zimmeh:(
Purple: We have haters! :(
Lard Nar: HA! I have more fans than you guys! I think, anyway...
Pleakley:
So lard nar, umm...does the cone guy get on your nerves?
Lard Nar: I worked with Irkens for the majority of my career as a ship designer and engineer, anyone doing that has to be patient, so, no, Shloonktapooxis doesn't usually get on my nerves. I do get annoyed when he cheats in cards, though
Tak: are you saying Irkens are annoying?
Lard Nar: Yes
Tak: Why, you little-
Pleakley: ANYWAY, here's a question from emorocker
This question is for Lard Nar I want to know if vort is a better place to live than meekrob?(like is it nicer looking)
Lard Nar: Well, it depends on what you like. Before it was turned into a prison planet, Vort was actually quite nice. There was no violence in the cities, if you were there on holiday it would be a nice relaxing place. Also, we kept some patches of nature in parts of our planet, unlike a certain green alien species did on their planet, which was kinda nice. However, as a place to live, it is a bit more stressing, since all the jobs are, ya know, hard. Meekrob has more thrill rides and stuff, and an average job there requires less knowledge than one on Vort.
Ellie: Only Vort's now been made into a prison planet and the Irkens are planning to conquer Meekrob too
Random Meekrob in the audience: WHAT? (looks at Red and Purple) YOU A*****ES!
Red: -_-"
Purple: Did you really have to say that, Ellie?
Ellie: No, but I wanted to... =D
Pleakley: Well, it seems we've come to the end of this episode!
Ellie: Already?
Lard Nar: I do have to admit, it was fun answering all those questions :)
Ellie: So, I guess this wraps it all up. I'm going on holiday on Friday and won't be back till August 26th, so there won't be any updating until then
Pleakley: HOWEVER, you can still ask questions, show your friends and do whatever you Invader Zim fans do!
Ellie: When I come back, the first character to be asked questions will be Dib, followed by Purple
Red: Purple? What about me? (Gong falls on top of him) OUCH!
Ellie: See you guys!
Lard Nar: Bye, and thanks for all the questions!
Ellie: Yeah, you guys rock B)
Author – Ellie/Blonde Writing
Host – Ellie/Blonde Writing
Assistant – Pleakley
Guest – Lard Nar
Everyone from IZ belong to Nickelodeon and Jhonen Vasquez
Music is from Invader Zim
Yeah, I'll be gone for a while, sorry guys :/
It would be nice to get some questions for Dib and Purple, but you can ask other characters too :)
And I made up Lard Nar's little story about how he made the resistance since there isn't a canon explanation that I could find
And I'm cruel to Red. It's gotta hurt if a gong fell on your head...