Elis POV
"Ya I know we do."
"I'm sorry Clare, I never wanted to make you feel like you were inferior to Julia" she had to know that that was the last thinkg i would ever want to do to her. I sat down on Liz's sleeping bag opposite from her.
"Not inferior exactly, just in competition" now i was really confused.
"Competition? But why? I mean, she's gone." I finished dragging a little at the end, it hurt to say the words, even though it had been a long time.
"I don't feel in competition with her exactly, but with what you had, you said yourself you loved her, that's she was perfect and now I know you...gave her everything you had" she didnt look at my as she said the last part, just stared at her hands.
"I thought she was perfect, but after what I have with you I know that it wasn't love. I cared about her and maybe I did love her on some level, but I wasn't in love with her like I am with you. After we shared that night together I knew for one hundred percent that you were the one for me. That you were the one I wanted to spend my life with" I finally said with her still not looking at me
"Eli, you know I love you. I've loved you since the day you ran over my glasses" she said in a small voice
"So what's the problem? Were great together!" I cried out, she was going to forgive me! i knew it!
"Except for the fact that you can't trust me with your past." Or maybe she wasnt...I was going to fix this, I had to. I just didnt want to tell her the truth, to let her know how, insecure I really was about us.
"It's not that I don't trust you!"
"Then tell me why, why you didn't feel you could be honest with me. But with, your ex, she could know everything about you?" I could tell she didnt want to say Julias name, just hearing it made me cringe.
"I told you before, I didn't want you too see less of me." Thats all she needed to know
"That's not the real reason! I know it's not, if it was you wouldn't have told me about the night she died." she yelled at me, the nylon wals surrounding us shaking.
"Fine! you want the truth?" I yelled back her jumping a little at my volume
"Yes!" she yelled in my face
"The more I tell you about my life, my past. The more differences you find between us, eventually its all going to pile onto you to much and im going to loose you. Your the only good thing in my life right now. and your getting ready to leave!"
She looked at me her blue eyes filling with tears, it was a long time before she finally answered me "That's not going to happen!"
"Really? Becuase it already is! My past is coming back to haunt us and you want out. Face it your gunna end up with a football playing, church going guy with a normal upbrining" I could feel my heart breaking for the second time tonight, I needed to know the answer to the only question on my mind, finally i asked it "Are you breaking up with me?"I couldn't look at her face, she was mad and I knew she was. I put my arms on my bent knees and my head on my arms and just waiting for the
answer, the break up. I heard her get up from her sleeping bag and all of a sudden she was behind me her arms wrappeing around my waist, I could see her hands on my stomach, she laid her warm cheek on my back
"I like that were not the same, I like our differences. I dont want someone who is into everything I'm into, or football. I definetly don't want someone into football."
"You don't want the science loving football star?" I replied with a small smile. Please let this fight be over.
"You mean the science loving football star who cheated on me and impregnated the cheerleader? No, I'd mich rather have the hearse driving emo boy with a dark past and awesome sister who I know will never hurt me. at least not on perpose." I felt her smile on my back and kiss me thre my sweat shirt.
"I'm sorry Clare, about everything." I responded untangeling myself from her arms and turning around so we were face to dace
"I know, so am I." she replied smiling as a tear rolled down her perfect cheek.
I pulled her into me and just hugged her holding her in my arms. I finally pulled away from the hug and put my hand on her face before aying a soft kiss on her warm lips. As I was pulling away Clare grabbed the hair on the back of my head holding herself to me refusing to let go. I obliged to her request and kept my lips on hers. I laid us down and continued kissing her perfect mouth, breaking only to trail kisses down her jaw and neck. I could feel her teeth chatter against the incredibly cold weather,
"Baby, maybe we better stop." I finally said dragging my mouth away from her skin
"Why?" she asked with big eyes her teeth still chattering, I hadnt realized how cold it had gotten durring our fight.
"Because its freezing out, and I dont think taking off any more clothing is going to help us." I replied laying my lips on her neck again.
"Well then you better stop doing that or Im going to get hypothermia"
"Well fine, but just so you know its totally against my will." she laughed as I pulled her into my chest and wrapped us up in two sleeping bags. "Actually you do know the best way to keep warm in the cold is to press naked bodies up against each other."
"Well, then I guess thats our only option" she replied climbing on top of me.
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