The Faeries' Ruin SPOOF

by Return Of Itsy

Who is this mysterious rogue Hanso? What does he know? Why is Jazan's eyeliner still sexy after all these years? And just WHO is responsible for the faeries turned to stone! I don't know, but here's a spoof.

5. Chapter 5

When you see it...

THE FAERIES' RUIN…chapter 5

Setting: Brynn and Hanso have just freed their comrades from the confines of Nox's home. Meanwhile, Nox is escaping through the Haunted Woods.

Brynn: Thanks a lot, Hanso. How am I going to face King Altador? I stood up for you again and again, and you betrayed me—I mean…us. Yeah, us.

Hanso: Nice catch. And hey, don't worry about it. He'll probably be too busy kissing my ass for saving him to remember that anyway.

Brynn: After he beats you to a pulp for the scarabs, Wadjets, skulls, and death ray, of course.

Hanso: You don't think he's still bitter about that…right?

Xandra, Altador, Jazan, and the others: *all ready to kick Hanso's ass*

Hanso: …nah.

Brynn: So reassuring, Hanso. You better not expect me to make the same mistake again.

Hanso: Yeah sure, whatever. Keep pretending you don't want aaaall this.

Brynn: Of course I want you, Hanso…to jump off the top of the Lost Desert pyramids.

Hanso: Anything for you, sweet cheeks. ;D

Brynn: And die.

Hanso: Except that.

Brynn: Ugh, what are we still doing in this dark, dank room?

Hanso: Bonding. ;o

Brynn: I'll bond my fist with your face.

Hanso: These threats are getting old.

Brynn: ...where do you think Hubrid ran off to?

Hanso: Away from you. *laughs at his own quip because he's so clever*

Brynn: News flash, he's running away from you, too.

Hanso: NOBODY LIKES ME. *ANGST*

Meanwhile…Hubrid is fleeing.

Hubrid: *running as fast as his short little legs can carry him* *it's f#$king adorable*

*Hubrid turns around to face the audience so he can laugh evilly*

Hubrid: Mwahahaha!

Tree: Lame, dude.

Hubrid: NOBODY ASKED YOU.

Tree: Keep running without looking at what's ahead of you. Yeah, that's smart.

Hubrid: Silence, tree! Do not question my genius, for once again I have made a cunning escape! Those fools thought they could outwit me! In my own castle, no less! I shall now proceed to explain how superior my brain is to theirs for the next six pan—*runs into a Nox doppelganger*

Doppelganger: Lol DENIED.

Tree: TWO Noxes? What a twist!

Nox: *looks up and OMG's* What? NOOOO!

Doppelganger: YOU MAY NOT PASS 'GO'. *zaps Nox in the face*

Nox: Boardwalk, some day you'll be mine... *collapses to the ground, unconscious and probably very dead*

Doppelganger: Sorry bro, maybe next time. For now, you lost the game.

Reader: ...oh, you're evil.

Chapter 5, end