Puck arrives at Rachel's house promptly at 7:30. It's Wednesday and he remembers that her dads won't be home for another hour due to some weekly medical conference. There's no answer when he knocks, so he tries the handle and the door opens before him. As he enters the house and locks the door, he shakes his head at Rachel's complacency and makes his way up the stairs to her room.
He roughly pushes open her bedroom door. Rachel stands with her back to him in a white lab coat with her hair pulled back in a loose knot, perusing a large textbook on her desk. At the sound of her bedroom door hitting the wall, she turns to face him, somewhat startled. Puck angrily exclaims, "What the Fuck, Berry? You just left the front door wide open! Some crazed lunatic could just waltz right in and attack you." Rachel calmly states, "Noah, the door was not wide open, merely unlocked. This is a very safe neighborhood, and the only lunatic I was expecting is you." "Whatever, you need to lock your doors, that shit ain't safe. You planning on leaving your door open in NY too." Rachel hesitates, "No, of course not." "Then you need to get in the habit of locking doors now." Rachel huffs in exasperation, she is not accustomed to being on the receiving end of a lecture. "Noah, while I appreciate your concern, my home security practices are not the reason for this visit. "Kindly remove your trousers please." Puck scoffs, "Sheesh, Berry, aren't you gonna offer me dinner first?" Rachel flushes, "I'm sorry Noah, would you like a snack or some water before we begin? I have…" "Healthy disgusting crap," he interrupts as he moves further into the room and shirks his jacket.
Puck finally takes in Rachel's appearance. Her black skirt is longer than usual but hugs her curves in all the right places. It somehow manages to emphasize the length of her legs and the curve of her ass. She wears a blue button down silk blouse, which matches my boxers, he thinks. Black wire rimmed glasses and a long white coat with "Dr. Berry" stitched on the lapel completes the costume. His eyes widen as he takes in the open anatomy text on her desk, "Holy shit, Rach! Are you really fucking serious about this? "Of course", she replies, "Disrobe, please." Puck stares at her for a moment, taking in her resolute expression and calm exterior. His eyes narrow. There is no way that Rachel "virgin" Berry isn't nervous, excited, and or scared about seeing him naked, no matter how cool she's trying to play it. Puck quirks his lips up in a half smile and reaches for the hem of his shirt, "Alright then." Rachel stops him with dispassionate ease, "That won't be necessary, Noah. I am only going to examine the lower portion of your anatomy." Puck frowns and stares at her face. Rachel maintains a cold clinical expression. She's fully in character now. Puck can't believe that she's taking things this far. Rachel impatiently motions for him to proceed. Puck narrows his eyes and unbuttons his jeans, there is No way that Rachel Berry is going to get the best of him. He has been undressed in a hell of a lot more awkward, embarrassing, and dangerous situations than this for worse reasons.
Rachel waits patiently while Noah's jeans hit the floor. Her eyes roam over his powerful thighs and golden skin. She reminds herself to be calm, be cool Rachel, show no emotion. She's playing the role of a clinical practioner here and she has all the tools for the part. She is not here to become nervous, tongue tied or excited; no matter how firm his buttocks appear.
Puck stands before Rachel in comfortable dark blue satin boxers. He arches a brow and smirks at her. He noticed the deep breath she took when his pants hit the floor, the clenching of her fingers, and the pink flush at her neckline. "Sure about this, babe, Not too late to back out."
Rachel squares her shoulders and inhales. She approaches her desk and picks up a small instrument. Her no-nonsense sensible black heels are silent on the carpet as she marches forward to stand directly in front of him. "I'm not your babe, Noah and you'll also need to remove your underwear in order for me to examine your genitals. Both of his eyebrows go up in shock, "You're fucking with me right." "No, Noah, I most certainly am not." "Berry, what the hell is goin on here? What do you think you're doing?"
R: "Surely you recall our conversation from earlier today and the previous week as well. We are here, Noah, to determine if you exhibit the signs of anabolic steroid abuse; specifically testicular atrophy." P: "Jesus, fuck! I already told you I am not on steroids and my junk is not shrunk." R: "Yes, well you also told me I should see for myself. Trust but verify, Noah, or have you changed your mind?" The way she cocks her head and lifts her eyebrow is a direct challenge and he knows she stole that look from him. Puck gives her his hard stare and snaps out a terse, "Fine" while he quickly removes his boxers.
Rachel closes her eyes and drops to a low crouch in front of him with the medical tape measure. She pauses to collect her bearings before she raises her eyes upward. Puck smirks down at Rachel's head while she admires his package. He thinks he's just blown a whole in her game plan. "I'm da man" he thinks to himself. Rachel takes her time visually inspecting Noah's nether region. The olive hue of his skin extends everywhere. The hair covering his genitals is appropriately thick, according to the Tanner stages for male growth and development, yet oddly neat, which is surprising to her. The skin of his penis is smooth and unblemished. She stops herself form licking her lips and remembers her purpose. Rachel steels her nerves and picks up the tape measure. As she reaches to lift his penis away, it jerks. Her eyes shoot up to meet his with wonder and confusion and a hint of mistrust. P: "What, it's fucking natural when a hot chick is touching your stuff." Rachel flushes and murmurs a quiet "Oh." Puck shakes his head, unbelievable, of all the things that have happened tonight, that statement is what embarrasses her. Rachel lowers her eyes and recommits to the task at hand. She horizontally places the tape measure against Noah's left testicle. He shakes his head and laughs quietly at her daring. Rachel Berry is actually measuring his balls, un-fucking-believable. The text states that the average size of an adolescent male testis is approximately 3.5 cm; both of Noah's are considerably larger. During Rachel's "exam" Noah's penis had quickly firmed and lengthened. Rachel's eyes widen as she looks up. Without measuring, she's pretty certain that it is considerably larger than average as well. She stands abruptly and flushes deeply, "No atrophy there, no not at all, I am thoroughly convinced." "Oh, really?" Puck scoffs, all of a sudden she's all nerves and jitters. "You can pull your pants up now."
Rachel turns her back and scurries over to the desk. She replaces the tape measure and fiddles with the text to mask her nervousness. She has no idea what she was thinking. She didn't fully plan this through. She has no idea what comes next, her storyboard ended with the actual exam. And now Noah is fully aroused and she is feeling… well she's not entirely certain what she is feeling. There's just a jumbled mass of heat and confusion in her abdomen. She hears the rustle of clothing and allows herself a sigh of relief. She does not jump when she feels his breath in her ear. Puck breathes, "so Berry, what's next on your agenda?"