The Faeries' Ruin SPOOF

by Return Of Itsy

Who is this mysterious rogue Hanso? What does he know? Why is Jazan's eyeliner still sexy after all these years? And just WHO is responsible for the faeries turned to stone! I don't know, but here's a spoof.

13. Chapter 13

THE FAERIES' RUIN…chapter 13

Setting: Brynn and Hanso hold up the artifact while Xandra carries out the ritual. Altador, Jazan, and the others are fighting the shadow creatures popping up everywhere. Sooooo EXCITING!

Xandra: Erm…glasses…falling down my nose. Someone push them back up? Hands are kinda busy. Anyone? Help?

Artifact: No time for that EEEEXPLOSIOOOOONNNNN!

(artifact erupts into a massive burst of light, knocking the three back with its force)

Hanso: Ow…*rubs his head*

(He stands and finds Brynn knocked unconscious by the blast, and Jazan, Altador, and the others all turned to stone.)

Fangirls: JAZAN NOOOOOOO—*collectively faint*

Shadow Creature #1: Buh? *pokes Altador's stone form*

Shadow Creature #2: Guys, check it out. Garden statues!

Hanso: Hmm…knocked out by a huge burst of light, awaken to find people turned to stone…why does this scenario seem so familiar?

(Hanso looks over to find Xandra picking herself up, more shadow creatures surrounding her.)

Hanso: Hey. Xandra. Hey! Xandra! HEEEEEEEY XAAAAAANDRAAAAAAA!

Xandra: *turns and glares* WHAT?

Hanso: Watch out. :D

Xandra: *evil grin* No Hanso, you watch out. *FWOOSH*

(More shadow creatures spawn)

Hanso: Wow, these special effects are amazing.

Xandra: Muhahahaha! Try and get out of this, thief!

Hanso: Oh, hey, you missed.

Xandra: Wait, what—oh, damn it, I lost my glasses. Hold on one second, would you?

Hanso: Sure thing. Take your time.

Xandra: Honestly, I ask for someone to push them back up and no one does it…*mumble grumble* …all these shadows around and none of them could *grumble mumble* or anything, useless little *growl grumble mumble*

Shadow creatures: *stand there waiting* So uh…can we attack him yet?

Xandra: Wait! He has to see this cool magic trick I can do, first!

Hanso: Ooh, a trick? I love magic tricks! :D

Xandra: Yeah, check this out—*BRINGS FAERIELAND CRASHING TO THE GROUND*

Hanso: …that wasn't cool at all! I want my money back. D:

Xandra: THERE ARE NO…*stands in her epically evil pose*…REFUNDS!

Hanso: NOOOO! Damn you, cliffhanger!

Crazy theorists on the plot boards: XANDRA WAS EVIL WE KNEW IT WE KNEW IT WE TOLD YOU SO WE KNEW IT!111!one

Chapter 13, end (dun dun dunnnn...!)