It's been three weeks since the wolves killed the two vampires (I'm finally safe) and less than a week since I started writing down my life's story. I've been rereading it and realized that there are some things I've left out and some things that are confusing. Today, before I write down the last piece of my story, I plan to help ease the confusion. I want to explain some of the things that may have been unclear. My life hasn't been easy and as I wrote it down, I may have been hasty. The beginning perhaps is not as good as it could be, but I wanted to get it all down before I forgot it. For I want to forget it…but…I'm getting ahead of myself. Back to clearing things up.
1. I know Meyer stated in her books that vampire venom is deadly to werewolves. This is true once the werewolf gene sets in. The gene is encoded in our DNA and usually sets in between the ages of 16 and 18 but it can set in
as late as 21. If by their 21st birthday, the gene has yet to show then they will stay human for life. Will was able to change me and not poison me because I was still human – the gene, which allows our body to change, was still dormant.
2. I can't hear anyone in my head as a wolf. I'm not quite sure why. Charlie says its because I'm part vampire. That's good news. I wouldn't want anyone reading all of the thoughts in my head.
3. In my story, I made it seem as if Will and I hadn't known each other until I read the books. That's not true. I've known him for four years, as long as Alex, but not as well. We hung out a couple of times, but it didn't really develop into anything until my senior year.
4. I don't know what happened to Alex. I don't know how he was able to get me into a lunatic asylum. I don't really know much about how that occurred. I've tried not to think about it.
5. Sam's friends from Cornell – the ones that were always standoffish - are his pack. They protect the East Coast from the other vampires. They didn't want Sam to get to know me because they didn't want him to get hurt. They knew he would always have to keep a secret from me and in a way they were protecting me as well. Sam would imprint and leave me and his friends didn't want to put me through that pain.
6. The black wolf that stayed and protected me during the last months was Matt (one of Sam's many cousins). Maya had become worried about me and so the family sent him to look after me and make sure I didn't become too much of a wolf.
7. The way I wrote the story, it seems as if the Cullens just breezed in and out of my life. They actually became really good friends. After they saved me from the asylum and during the first few months of college – they were really there for me.
8. Life at home wasn't all that great. When my brothers became werewolves – they had to keep it from me and became distant. We had been really close and this was really hard on me. When they left for college, I was devastated. I felt so alone; it was truly horrible. Then they started to imprint and my dad decided that I was an abomination…I was depressed. Maybe this will explain some of the emotions or things I said in my writing.
9. Will…
"Good morning sweetie!" I opened my eyes and looked up into my mother's. "Can we talk now?" I nodded. I hadn't wanted to talk while I was still on painkillers – they made me feel funny. Luckily my accelerated werewolf healing had shortened the time it normally took for ribs to mend. I sat up in bed and moved so that she could sit next to me.
"What is it mom?" She was quiet for a minute, holding me close to her.
"Try not to hate your father too much dear. I found these hidden among his things. I didn't read them of course. The first one is on the bottom and the last is on top. I'm sorry darling. Your father is being incredibly stubborn and ridiculous…I'll let you read them." She handed me a stack of envelopes and left the room. I looked at the address – it was in Will's handwriting. I pushed them aside and stared at the ceiling. Should I read them or not?
I picked up the one my mom said was the first. It was dated two days after Will disappeared. I held it in my hands – could I open it? Maybe I'd only read the first one. I began to read.
Dear Cat,
I'm sorry I left you so suddenly. Emmett came to see me the day you left the hospital and gave me some disturbing news. The vampire that attacked you in Central Park escaped and as it turns out there are more of him. Apparently your desire for human or animal blood is determined by the vampire who turns you. There is a cult of vampires that drinks only human blood and that is where he has gone. Emmett, Jasper and I are going to track them down. I don't know how long it will take. I promise to write to you once a week. I won't desert you. If you want to write back, give your letters to Alice, she'll see that I get them. I understand if you're mad at me. I changed you without your full consent and perhaps even compromised your life as a werewolf. I can only hope that you will one day forgive me for this.
- William Stuart
He left to protect me…not because he disliked me. Of course I forgave him…I was still in love with him. He left to protect me. I picked up the second letter and began to read them all.
Dear Cat,
We've finally caught sight of the vampires. There are so many of them…too many for just the three of us. We've begun to gather up friends to help us take them out. They are a danger to humanity and to us as well.
I miss you so much Cat. I wish I could come see you, but I know that the vampire will come after you if I do so. I only think about your safety.
Why haven't you written back? Are you still mad at me? Have I done something wrong? Other than what I've already asked your forgiveness for?
Emmett and Jasper got into a skirmish yesterday with one of the scouts from the cult. They're fine, but this is turning into something a lot bigger than I thought. It will take me more time to get back to you, but don't worry I will come back.
Alice tells me you've met a boy. Sam? Is he the reason why you won't respond? If you've fallen in love with him, then write to me and tell me. I'll leave you alone. I'm not going to hold you back…like that quote says "If you love something set it free…" Just say the word and I'll set you free.
Edward and Bella joined us today. They asked me about you. I didn't know what to say. I knew you were spending Thanksgiving with Sam but nothing besides that. Edward has been trying to get in touch with your brothers. We think that a couple of werewolves on our side will help.
I met Sam today. He told me what happened. I suppose that you won't be getting this letter since you're in your wolf form. I'm glad that I didn't keep you from your heritage. That thought did worry me. Alice and Rose are taking time off college to help us. They corroborated with Sam's story. I asked him about his relationship with you, I hope you don't mind. It's just so frustrating that you haven't replied. If he's not the reason…then who or what is?
We've found the cult, but there are several vampires missing. The one who attacked you and his mate are two of them. Since the cult is mostly depleted, we won't be going after the others. The wolves are taking the trail south and we're going north. Hopefully this nightmare will be over soon.
And finally the last letter:
Dear Cat,
This is my last letter to you. I have decided that I can no longer put myself through this agony. Alice says that she longer sees us together in the future – of course the future isn't written in stone. But my real reasoning is the fact that you haven't answered a single one of my letters. I can only come to the conclusion that you truly hate me. I'm sorry for whatever I did that made you feel this way. I'm sure you've gathered by now that I love you. I love you with every ounce of my being, with the very atoms that make me up. It's almost impossible for me to imagine my world without you…but I suppose I'll have to live it now. I'm going to stop writing to you, to stop bothering you, to stop torturing myself with the hope that maybe this time you'll reply. I really do love you Cat, but I can't put myself through this anymore. I'm going to go to Europe and then perhaps Africa, so you won't even have to risk seeing me. Goodbye.
Will
I put the letter down slowly. Then the tears came. Like torrents. He loved me and he thought I hated him. And now I had lost him forever. Once the tears stopped I bundled the letters up and got out my computer. I wanted to write my story down. At some point while I cried, I had come to a decision. I remembered that as a wolf, my human memories were blurry and that as time elapsed I forgot more and more. Well I wanted to forget. I wanted to be free of pain, free of stupid human emotions. But first I had to get my story out. First I had to tell the world.
This is the end of my story. Tonight I will print it out and lay it with Will's letters and a note to my mother. Tonight I will become a wolf and cease to be human. Tonight everything will end. Perhaps it's not a happy ending, but it's the one I've chosen. I love Will and nothing can ever change that but life as a wolf will dull the ache that comes with it. I regret nothing. This is my decision and I have fully thought it out. I'm sorry if I did not clear everything up but I chose today as my deadline. Tonight is it.
THE END
A/N: So I guess this is it. I started writing this a long time ago and I thought it was time to put it to rest. I didn't want to leave my readers hanging so I wrote out an ending. I admit that this isn't my greatest work, but hopefully it improved towards the end. There may or may not be an epilogue. It depends on how much time I have. Hopefully now that I'm done with college applications and am a second term senior, I will find a day to make one, but don't get your hopes up. I apologize for taking so long in ending the story - a part of me didn't want to let go while another screamed that I was wasting my time in drawing it out. Thanks to all of you who stuck with me to the end. I appreciate it, especially for those who got past Chapter 1 (which looking back on was probably the worst thing I have ever written in my whole life). If I could start over again or if I hadn't posted the story in pieces, there's a lot I would change. But I have no regrets. It was fun. I hope you enjoyed it. :)