Disclaimer: Doesn't own.
A/N: Thank you for all of your reviews and adds! You feed the muses. Also, I'm playing with the lyrics a bit, splicing them in where it fits the story, so some lyrics are repeated..so if you go listen to the song...don't be confused *smile*.
If I Die Young
Chapter Two
If I die young, bury me in satin,
Lay me down on a bed of Roses
Sink me in the river at Dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song...
As one the unit stood as the surgeon entered the small room they had crowded in to wait on news once paged. The doctor sighed, nodding, "She made it through surgery well. She'll be in recovery for awhile, to make sure she's going to be okay, then she'll be in ICU. Now, one of you can go back to see her now if you like..who's family?"
As one five voices chimed in. The doctor smiled, he'd grown up here..he knew everyone considered everyone else family. "Unfortunately, only blood family can go to the PACU...and one at a time."
"Mom..you go first." Her sister said, a hand on her mother's shoulder.
Lee nodded.
"The rest of you will get a chance soon." The doctor said, turning to go.
"Doctor, wait." Steve followed him, he turned,
"Yes?"
"Is she..she'll be able to still..." His words failed him.
The older man smiled, "I have hope that her recovery will be well once she's out of the woods...if all goes well she can return to the force." He clapped the SEAL on the shoulder, "But it's up to her right now, and the people that love her...she's had a lot of physical trauma today."
"I've had just enough time..."
Lee sided up to the bed where her daughter lay, bandaged, still intubated and deepily sedated. She took her hand, "Kono." She breathed, smoothing back her dark hair, "Mama's here." She murmered, kissing her forehead, "Mama's here."
Mama...She tried to wake up, but the bonds held her down, her eyelids weighted heavily...she was still floating in that nothingness space that she hated. She couldn't respond at all to her mother's soothing voice and she hated it. "Shh...just rest, keikei." Her mother soothed, seeing her heart rate escalate on the monitor, she stroked her hair, "Your sister is here too." She spoke quietly, "And your team. None of us have left, I don't think any of us will...Ailana has to leave..but, you know how work is." She was silent, stroking her daughter's smooth hand, she glanced at the monitor and ventured to say what she thought in a mother's heart. "I imagine the haole will have to force Steve to leave for a change of clothes." There was the telltale quiver in heart rate and her mother smiled, 'I'll leave you to sleep, keikei." She kissed her forehead, "Mama'll be here when you wake up."
"So put on your best boys,
And I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done,
A penny for my thoughts,
Oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar..
There' worth so much more after I'm a goner."
Kono was in PACU for three hours more before being moved to ICU. Lee had seen her once more, but had been convinced to go home for some rest and that they would call her when she woke up. She'd suffered a mild concussion on top of her injuries and they wanted to watch her carefully before pulling her out of their sedation. Only one person at a time could be in the room with her, and the boys elected to take shifts staying with their teammate. Chin was first, true to Lee's word, Danny had to prod Steve with a cattle prod to get him to leave for the three hours of Chin's shift to get a clean set of clothes and a nap, especially since Danny's shift was after Steve's...though Steve was insistant he stay at the hospital even if he wasn't watching over her. Sense of responsibility and all that. "The boss is too responsible sometimes." Chin said softly, brushing a lock of hair off her forehead, "But at least we know he cares." He smiled. He wasn't a man of many words, so he merely took his cousin's hand and sat by her bed. "I'm sorry, cuz." He said softly, "I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you fast enough." He watched her, leaning forward on his knees.
"Maybe then you'll hear the words I've been sayin
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
She was lost again, she kept having this same dream of being lost in this deep jungle and she couldn't find her way out, she called for Chin, for Danny, for Steve..no one came to help her. Then through the fog she heard her cousin's voice apologizing that he couldn't get to her fast enough. But he was here now...and that made her feel better. Her mind reached out, listening for the voices of the other two..it was way to quiet without Danny's snarking and he and Steve's bickering...Where *were* they? She frowned, and it must have shown, because she faintly heard her cousin ask if she hurt and then a female voice as a nurse..she supposed..came in..then the sleep came again and she fought it before it took her out. While she slept, her mind still thought, tried to figure out how to get back from this plane where she was..where she could hear the voices around her..but she couldn't *see* anyone..no matter how much she reached and called..apparently no one could hear *her*. But that was nothing new, she'd been saying things for months with her actions, her cryptically worded words, she hadn't been hiding it anymore. She was ready to take that chance...to fall off the edge of the cliff and dare the water to catch her. Ever since she and Steve had gone undercover it had changed for her...her soul was in a constant cry for it's mate and no one heard her. Maybe now..maybe now that she was in this place...was it dead? No she couldn't be *dead*..maybe she was..she didn't know anymore. But maybe now..maybe now she'd be heard.
"A penny for my thoughts,
No I'll sell 'em for a dollar..."
"Hey rookie." Danny said three hours later, settling in the chair beside her, "Taking up smoking I see. You know, I don't think you're doing it right...we'll have to get that thing out of your pretty little mouth soon." He smiled, "Yes, I'm shamelessly flirting with you." He said, leaning back, watching her, his voice belying the tortured look on his face looking at her lying there, IV here, still intubated, monitors monitoring the every beat of her heart. "Grace wants to see you..but I told her you needed to rest...I'll bring her by the minute I see your beautiful brown eyes open, okay? So..that needs to be soon." he sighed, "Chin took your mother home, by the way...he'll be back after Steve's shift...we're not leaving you tonight...Leave no man behind you know."
"Send me away with the words of a love song..."
She heard Danny..finally..she reached for him but again couldn't find him. Danny..help me..please...Where am I? Get me out of here..Why is Steve taking a shift? Am I dead? Danny..help me.
Danny glanced up as her heart took off racing, he stood, knowing the nurses were paying close attention, "Hey..hey why are we getting all stressed out? Don't force it, kid." he said soothingly, taking her hand, "You have to heal, the whole part of you being sedated here. I know you wanna be a mini-Steve and go all rambo and say you're fine, but you're not. Just..calm down, I'm here..Danny's here." He gripped her hand.
She felt something...something tight on her hand..tight, secure and safe. She clung to it...Danny was here..he'd help her out of here...but..but where was Steve? Why wasn't he coming..why wasn't he here? Didn't he care? She hurt..she hurt so bad...her whole body felt like it was on fire and her head pounded...being dead hurt? Because Kono was fairly convinced she had to be dead..in purgatory or something...She thought maybe purgatory was a little nicer then black fog. She was a *good* girl, really she was...she'd tried anyway. Okay, so maybe she should have gone to confession when her mother had wanted her too after her first mission. What pissed her off most was she couldn't remember a *damn* thing...She liked Danny..he was a good friend, but he wasn't the safety she needed right now.
Danny looked down...she was definately clutching to his hand. He smiled...she wasn't out of the woods yet...but she was close...their Kono would be okay, he knew it. Right now she was in some far off place and needed to know she was still wanted here before the blackness took her away from them. She clutched his hand tighter and her heart rated and blood pressure racketed up and he motioned to the nurse who hurried in with more pain medicine.
No! Kono wanted to scream..that damn stuff that chilled her veins sent her back into the sleep again and she didn't want that. True, it didn't hurt here, but she had to find Steve. Chin and Danny she'd heard...but she couldn't find Steve and that broke her heart..was he dead too? If he was dead too maybe that's why she couldn't hear him or find him or feel him anywhere near her. She cried as the darkness took her again.
"I've had just enough time.."
He stood at the door, watching her...the room was all windows on the front and side, so that staff could see everything, every twitch. Only, she wasn't even moving. His heart contracted painfully as he saw her, weak, wounded. He knew that she was sedated to heal...in a few days they'd wean her off of it if they thought her body was healing correctly. It was his fault, and she needed to know that, needed to know he was gonna do whatever it took to make it up to her. He'd idly felt Danny clap his back as he'd left to go catch a few moments of sleep before Chin came back. Steve ventured in, sliding the door shut as he entered, standing by her bed like a guardian angel he took her hand, stroking it softly. "I'm sorry Kono." He said, his voice thick with emotion he showed no one.
Steve! Finally she heard him...she tried to move, to get to him..the sound of his voice to her left. Steve...you're not dead..please..please get me out of here..if no one else can you can...where am I..what happened? Please...why can't you hear me! Vaguely she felt that pressure again on her hand, her heart fluttered..he was holding her hand...for real. Not pretend. Nothing was pretend anymore...he was trying to comfort her. Oh how she wanted to curl up in his arms, feel him hold her and protect her..she was so scared...
"It should have been me." He murmered, "I shouldn't have sent you into that." He apologized, her small hand nestled in his, he felt a flutter and looked down, she was squeezing ever so softly, her thumb moved as if to carress his hand and he felt his spirit soar. He squeezed back, "It's gonna be okay, hey..what's this."He murmered soothingly, seeing a single tear track down her cheek, he thumbed it away gently, "Don't cry, I'm here. I've got you, you're safe now."
Safe..she was safe..and she could feel his hand against her cheek. Steve would get her out of here...not that she didn't have faith in her cousin or Danny, but apparently they didn't have the power to break the black fog. Suddenly she felt a sharp pain and cried out...the blackness replaced with blinding white light and it hurt..it hurt so bad and it reminded her of something...of being shot.
Two nurses swooped in the minute Steve waved his hand the minute he saw a bright red pool of blood on her side, a tube had slipped and she was bleeding, he stepped out of the way, terror on his face as the nurses worked to make it stop. They were instructing another one to page the doctor, get an OR open and get her back in there...hemorraghing..that's all Steve heard. Why did he always lie to her? Why did he hurt the ones he cared about the most?
Steve! No! Come back..help me! Please it hurts to bad! Steve! She cried the whiteness surrounding her. He was gone and she couldn't feel his presence anymore...then all was blackness again. Please...I'm safe with you...I'm always safe with you...don't blame yourself...you can get me out of here...I love you.
EndNote: Sorry this is so short! My bosses decided today was a perfect day to have an inservice before my shift so I don' thave time to write all I wanted to in this chapter..I *promise* that the next chapter will be less angsty..and have a much better ending...I *promise*. Read, review...love. Aloha for now.