A/N: So here I am, encouraged by a nice review, and hopefully getting more!

Private Richard Bowense, Rifleman corp.

Station: observation post 24, three clicks S,S,S,SW,W of Jacinto.

Subject: Radio transcript #6 before radio silence.

"Goddamnit Lee, I've been stuck in this shithole for three months, and the only interesting thing out here besides my fat ass is the squirrel that's chewing on it. Send me something, anything. Even that weird-ass comic you got circulating up at HQ."

"I am unable to fulfill your request, seeing as it's a waste of valuable supplies-"

"Jesus Carmichael, one goddamn porno mag-"

"Even one 'Goddamn porno mag' to satisfy your 'fat ass' would be a waste. It would mean I'd have to re-route Chin off his monthly schedule, weigh down his P.O.S. van with all the supplies you'd need at the end of the month at a totally unorthodox time, waste fuel, manpower, and get Chin pissed off at me. Not to mention the explanation I'd have to give Dorothy. 'Oh Sergeant Lee, what's with Chin's new route. Porn? Interesting. Private Dumbshit, you're now going to the front lines to fight with the brave men of Delta squad. You might even meet Cole Train, how about that? Maybe he'll sign your Lancer.'"

"Fine, be an ass. When I die at the ripe old age of nine-hundred and six, I'll have you to blame for years of sitting here, doing absolutely nothing."

"Better than the report of having Chin find your corpse, dried out and crusty. He'll come back, sobbing. I can imagine his horrified face, crumpled in disgust and anguish. 'Lee, he-he, he killed himself… by masturbating. I found his dick, torn off in one hand and a moldy magazine in the other.'"

"Fuck you, lee."

Transcript #12

"Lee, come in. Lee? You there?"

"Here, retard. What's up."

"I'm seeing a few seismic tremors, there might be a few little shakes near Jacinto, nothing the bedrock can't handle. Just thought you would want to know."

"Okay, would you like me to check under the bed for the monsters you're imagining?"

"Bowense out."

Transcript # 13

"Lee, come in."

"Lee here."

"Along with Dorothy?"

"Shut up and report, Private."

"Those tremors? They haven't stopped. They go on for hours, pause for eight, then go on, getting bigger and bigger."

"Thank you for your report."

"Private Richard Bowense out."

Transcript #15

"Bowense, I'm considering getting you out of there, just because it would get you away from the radio. What do you want now?"

"This fucking tower is shaking. I swear to god, I'm looking at my coffee right now and the damn thing is rippling. Whatever's causing these shakes is getting closer, it's not natural."

"What, a giant worm has been working its way here since two weeks ago, and now it's making your tower shake? Get a grip man, Jacinto's country side's always been a little shaky. The plates will settle."

"I sure hope so."

Transcript #16

"Holy shit, Lee, it's here, swear to god, the trees are falling down, tell my wife I loved her, and, and, hell, fuck my kids, little shits couldn't tie their own goddamn shoes-"

"Bowense! Report!"

"…"

"Richard? Are you there? Please, if you're out there…"

"…."

"Goddamnit."

End Transcripts.

A/N: I don't know why, I just like writing dialogue. There'll probably be more of these in the future, unless someone tells me this was the shitiest thing they'd ever read. Then I'd seriously consider not writing more.

Aw who am I kidding. It's the internet, nobody cares about the bad stuff! Otherwise, why is 4chan still up?

... Is it?