It'd been a week since the heart attack. Four days since she was discharged. Two days since she painted her living room a shade of beige, which she thought would be neutral so she could redo the room any way she wanted. It'd only been less an hour she'd gone before getting another phone call which she ignored. She was tired, running on empty but still couldn't shut her eyes. She was exhausted. It was nearing ten pm when she heard the knocking on the door. An all too familiar knock. She checked the peephole before she unlocked and opened the door.
"You're ignoring me," was all he said. Cameron stared at House for a moment before she made her way to the couch and sat down. He followed slowly sitting a good distance away from her. "I'm sorry."
"What are you sorry for?" she asked almost whispering.
"Chase told me what you two were talking about right before the," he hesitated, "myocardial infarction," he tried to deflect the situation by using medical terms.
"Heart attack is easier to say," she tried to ease the tension in the air.
"I didn't mean to scare you. I just didn't want you to go back to work before you were ready-"
"I heard," she hesitated cutting into his words, unsure of how to bring up the subject, "what you said in the hospital, the night I was brought in."
He just stared at her. How was he suppose to respond to that? "Oh," was all he could muster up.
"Why did you say all that to me?" she asked softly, almost not wanting to know the answar.
"I've gotten the 'Cameron's in the hospital and might not pull through' phone call twice more than i'd like," house quipped but knew she didn't fully appreciate that answar. "What do you want me to say, Cameron? I think it's pretty obvious that I care about you."
She nodded at him appreciatvely as if she hadn't fully processed his words. She slowly leaned towards him and wrapped her frail arms around his neck. He rubbed his hand on her back. As she pulled away from him she kissed him lightly on the cheek. They were face to face now, so close they could feel each other's breath. Neither of them moved, as if unsure where to go from here. Her face moved closer to his again as she slowly brought her lips to his. His lips welcomed hers and he kissed her back. She put her arms back around his neck and he pulled her closer as put his arms around her. He could feel himself becoming aroused and he pulled away fast.
"Cameron-"
"You're turning me down?" she was genuinely surprised.
"No, i'm not turning you down," he said sternly to make sure he got his point across. "You just had a-" he hesitated, "heart attack and you're still pretty frail-" he hesitated again hating his use of words, "I wouldn't be able to control myself with you if we had sex. I'd never be able to forgive myself if I hurt you-"
"You're worried you're gonna fuck me too hard?" she said straight out, surprising House.
"Pretty much," he said nearly instantly.
Really? You pick this moment over all others to be righteous? He tried to shake the thoughts from his head. How many chances do you think you're going to get with her? It's a miracle she keeps coming back to you after you reject her. He closed his eyes hard for a moment as if acting like an etch a sketch and erasing the negative thoughts in his head.
"When you get better," was all he said.
"You don't have to," he could sense a hint of sadness in her voice.
"Cameron, I do want to be with you. I want you for more than just sex." Stop talking! Don't tell her that. She's going to get attached to you. You're going to hurt her and she's going to hurt you. "These past few weeks, made me realize I care about you more than I originally thought." Put your walls back up. This won't end for either of you. He stopped for a moment, looking anywhere but in her eyes. Why did he feel the need to explain this to her?
"You can stop, House. I know you. Your head is going to explode if you say another nice thing in a row," she smiled and he slightly did as well.
She knows me well. "You were never just another puzzle for me to solve. It was my way of getting to know you without putting my feelings out there to get rejected." You're going to be the one with a myocardial infarction if you don't stop talking. His heart was beating fast.
For once he wasn't afraid to share his feelings with another human being. For once she was terrified to hear how he felt about her. Oh god, i'm House. She thought to herself. Great. I'm a care bear. He mentally kicked himself. Neither of them said a word for a few minutes. Talking about feelings exhausted them. Silently and in sync with one another they walked hand in hand to the bedroom and got under the sheets.