Right, so… minimal editing, I didn't really feel like re-reading all 10000 words of this again, I wrote it, I already know what it says. Next chapter should be the last one. Bit of an epilogue, I think. Don't expect it too soon though. Or expect it by Monday. I have next week off, so it might be quick.
Reviewer of various letters (you know who you are, assuming you're all the same person): You're a quick reader… as soon as you'd review one chapter I'd read the next one to figure out what you were talking about, and you'd post another review before I could finish… so… way to go.
'Krazed… where'd you go? I was reading all my old reviews and I couldn't help but noticed that you haven't reviewed in a while. You were the only person who actually understood Sakura's actions in chapter 14… chapter 16… you promised not to disappear on me again. YOU PROMISED! Now what? I haven't heard from you since chapter 18! Sorry, I swear I'm not a stalker, I just miss you and happened to stumble across your reviews…
And Ryuu? You're even worse! I haven't heard from you since chapter 17!
Lol, while reading old reviews… Chapter 14, AnimeFreak00001: "Ohh no.. I actually started liking Hiro and then he goes and dies ):" That made me laugh, silently though, cuz I'm at the school computer lab. Don't know why I didn't catch that before, but today it was funny. And on the day I posted this it was not, I must have been tired on the day I wrote the above comments, but I'm keeping them, cuz it makes the chapter longer.
He probably means the gesture to be comforting, but at first I hardly feel it. Of course, once I become aware of Genma's bandaged hand on my shoulder it feels as if it's the weight of the world. "Would it be inappropriate to congratulate you?" he asks softly, pulling me against him gently as we watch Tsunade and Kakashi sit silently next to the hospital bed.
"The boy's going to grow up without a mother; I don't think it's very appropriate," I mutter softly, surprised at the resentment in my voice as I rest my head on his chest.
Genma nods slightly, rubbing my shoulder. "Why aren't you in there with her?"
I swallow carefully as Kakashi reaches out, touching the scar on the young girl's cheek, as if trying to heal it. It matches the one that had been on Zen's face, leaving no doubt this is the same person. "She's no one to me. Not yet anyways," I whisper painfully, hating how much affection he shows her, yet feeling my heart warm at the image of it. I shake my head, I shouldn't be getting jealous over a dead girl.
"You two seemed close… I just thought…"
"It's not my place, Genma," I say easily. "Kakashi and Tsunade… they know and love her. I just…" I close my eyes as the wail of a baby rings through the halls. Zen's baby. My hand drifts down to the slight curve of my belly, a shiver shooting through my body. "I've only just met her."
Genma swallows, dropping his lips to my ear. "You're going to be her mother…"
"Stop it," I snap, pulling away slightly, as I somehow manage keep my voice in the slightest of whispers.
Genma nods, taking his hand off of my shoulder and moving a more respectable distance away before he speaks again. "You know, I never thought things would turn out like this… way back when…" He laughs, shaking his head. "I mean, I'm happy for you both, but… when we were together…"
"Genma," I warn quietly.
"I never thought you'd have the guts to start anything, that's all," he half laughs. "I mean, you made me guess who it was you wanted me to pretend to be."
"Genma, please stop," I whisper again, swallowing thickly as Tsunade kisses the young girl's forehead, a tear rolling half way down her cheek before she can swipe it away.
He sighs, looking down at his shoes. "Sorry," he mutters to the floor.
I'm about to respond when Kakashi suddenly stands up. He touches Tsunade's shoulder once before turning towards the window. As he slowly pulls up his mask he holds my gaze for a moment before redirecting his course to the door. "Kakashi," I whisper as he appears in the hallway.
He smiles sadly, taking my hand and gently pulling me into a hug. "Where is he?" He asks after a moment, taking half a step back to look down at me.
"Come on, Kakashi, it can wait," Genma says loudly from behind me, earning a sour look from a passing nurse.
"Tsunade wants us to leave immediately," he argues plainly, glancing up at Genma quickly before looking back to me. "She doesn't think it'd be wise to delay it any longer. It'll be difficult for you to travel if we wait too long…"
"A few days won't hurt anything," I argue quietly. "We can wait until after the funer-"
"Sakura," he cuts off. "There won't be a funeral, she hasn't died. All there is in there, is the body of a little girl whose been missing for more than a decade. Where is he?"
I bite my lip softly, nodding. If everyone here knows Zen died in childbirth then Shinji soon will as well. Plus, she'll be back in a few months anyways. "This way," Genma, thankfully, doesn't follow us as I lead Kakashi down the hall. Just as I open the door the baby wails again, making Kakashi freeze behind me. I almost have to laugh at the fear in his visible eye. I can't seem to hold back the smirk that sets on my lips as I allow the door to close on Kakashi, slipping inside ahead of him. The nurse smiles at me as I come in, shrugging as the baby continues to cry.
"Has she named him yet?" She asks quietly, handing the bundle over to me.
"She wants the father to do that," I say with a soft smile, as his wails begin to lessen into whimpers.
"Genma?" She asks, glancing to Kakashi as he slips into the room.
I almost laugh, though I could see why she might think that. Genma had been the one to carry her here when she went into labor, and had actually been hanging around her a lot lately. So much so that I have a sinking suspicion I should keep them away from each other once she's old enough to be considered attractive. "No, the father is from Earth Country."
"Oh," she says, glancing back and forth between Kakashi and me for a moment before quickly looking towards the door. Her unease is understandable. The team from Iwa had been the last team to return from demolishing ruminants of the trade route, and they had sustained extreme injuries. One of the ninja probably won't be returning to duty. "Excuse me?"
"Of course," I say with a soft nod, readjusting the baby in my arms. Kakashi waits until the nurse has left the room before he inches closer to me, looking over my shoulder at the child. "Do you want to hold him?" I ask quietly.
He sighs heavily, leaning his head on my shoulder. "We need to go, Sakura," he mutters. "We don't have time for this."
"You're talking like we need to sneak him out of here…" I edge. Kakashi rubs the back of his neck nervously. "Oh, Kakashi… are we going to become kidnappers?"
"Genma too," he argues. "He can't legally exist, that's all."
"I'm sick of Tsunade making us do her illegal dirty work," I hiss, turning to see the nurse from before sneak into the room. "I was wondering if maybe I could take him to his mother himself, if you don't mind?" I suggest softly.
"Be my guest," she coos, noticing how soundly the boy sleeps in my arms.
"Thank you," I say with a sweet smile, leaving the room with Kakashi right behind me. "Let's go," I mutter, pulling the edges of my sweater around the baby as we slip through the hallways quietly. Genma meets us less than a mile past the city gates, bags packed for all of us. We stop for a moment to split up the supplies so Genma and Kakashi carry the majority of the weight, and I change into clothes more practical for travel. Genma even fashions a sling for me to carry Zen's baby easily. We continue running through the rest of the night and only stop for water breaks and to feed the baby for all of the next day. It's not until the sun sets that I find myself slowing down, and desperately hungry. Plus the baby has started crying again.
"Kakashi," I mutter, coming to a stop slowly, having to work slightly to catch my breath.
He glances back to me before coming to a stop, whistling to Genma, who has to come back a few steps. "Come on, let's stop for the night," he says easily. I hardly have time to blink before the two of them have already set up camp around me as I stand there rocking the baby back and forth, humming softly to him. I sniff the baby discreetly, wrinkling my nose at the tale-tale sign of a baby in need of a diaper change. My sensitivity to smells hasn't been that bad, but I could definitely play it up a bit in order to get out of this job. "Kakashi," I edge quietly.
"No way," he mutters, "my nose is too strong for that, I can smell it from here."
"Genma," I say easily.
"What?" he ask, looking up from the fire he had been trying to light.
"Trade you jobs? I'm a better cook," I say easily.
"I don't know the first thing about babies," he mutters, looking us over.
"Well you're going to be an uncle, and I'm willing to bet you're already a father, so you best learn fast." Before Genma can think of a response I've shifted the child into his arms and started at the fire. "By the way, I think he might need his diaper changed, good luck."
"Oh come on," Genma sighs, practically juggling the baby he's so unsure of his actions. "You two are having the baby, shouldn't you be getting practice?"
"We'll get quite enough practice once she's born," Kakashi says easily, skillfully avoiding Genma's attempts to pass the baby off to him.
"Oh, and Kakashi?" I laugh as the flames leap to life. "You're going to have to get used to that smell, there's no way you're using that excuse to get out of changing Zen's diapers."
After almost an hour of shirking the responsibilities we had agreed to in kidnapping Zen's son Genma finally gives in, changing the diaper at an arm's reach, at which point he was handed back to me to be rocked to sleep. We eat dinner as close to the fire as possible, not really worrying about any enemies. No one from Konoha is actually going to come after us and we're still in Fire, so there's little worry of enemy ninja.
Genma starts it all. Here we had been enjoying a nice evening outside with some pleasant conversation and he throws in one of his stupid jokes. Maybe it wasn't a joke, it certainly wasn't funny. "What the hell do you mean?" Kakashi asks in response, not sure if he should laugh or beat the crap out of Genma.
"He's insane, Kakashi," I snort. "There's not a chance."
"I'm serious," Genma laughs, slapping my knee playfully. "If I didn't have a conscious it'd be my baby you're pregnant with."
I roll my eyes, but stop mid-roll, looking up to the tree tops swaying in the wind. He's right. One of the reasons I had stayed with Genma for so long before was he was so easy to get along with. If we had rekindled things before Kakashi and I got back together, then Genma and I would probably still be together. "Kami, it could be," I mutter in disgust.
"What are you talking about?" Kakashi asks, scowling. Or at least he tries to, but with his mask off the expression just doesn't work on his face.
"Do you want to tell him or should I?" Genma asks with a laugh. I just wave my hand dismissively; he can't do that much damage. "When you had me freaked out since you were all suicidal," Genma begins, leaning back against a tree as the picture of ease. "I went over to see what the hell Sakura had done to you. She's drunk, half naked, practically throwing herself at me," I scoff at this point, but Kakashi doesn't seem to notice. He's just staring at Genma blankly. "But, my old friend, as hot as she is, and as much as I dream of being between those legs every night, I thought to myself, 'no, Kakashi loves her,' and that was it. I got up and left as she practically begged me to come back-"
"I wasn't that drunk, hot-shot," I cough, "now shut up before he kills you."
"No I'm really curious, actually," Kakashi says with a shrug. "I always thought you guys being together was odd. I mean, you have no idea how hard I tried to keep Genma away from you when you were, what, sixteen, seventeen?" Genma nods with a slight smile. "I gave up, obviously, but I always thought you were smarted than that, Sakura."
"I was," I tease, "Genma tricked me."
"I did not," he chuckles, patting my knee playfully. I immediately notice how Kakashi's eye flicks down to my knee, then back up to Genma. Genma seems to be oblivious. "You were sober, mostly, and you knew exactly what I wanted, sort of…"
"Yeah I didn't expect you to keep coming around though," I sigh, rolling my eyes. "He took me out for breakfast, Kakashi… I was under the impression guys like him just disappeared in the morning."
"Before, generally," Genma corrects. "But I figured this was different, because you actually wanted me gone, so there for I had to stick around until you said so. Obviously."
"Obviously," I echo with a bit of sarcasm.
"So, I'm assuming the story you told me, Genma," Kakashi begins, leaning back to watch the stars. "In which Sakura told you she'd had a crush on you for years and practically dragged you home… that's all crap?"
"Not all of it," Genma laughs. "I was hitting on her, and she told me there was someone else she was interested in, so I just told her I was good at the transformation jutsu… then she dragged me home."
"Me?" Kakashi asks, grinning.
"No, Gai," I say dryly, rolling my eyes.
Kakashi just pouts at me, making me laugh softly. "What about you two?" Genma asks through a soft chuckle. "I mean, when Sakura and I broke up I'm pretty sure she had sworn off of men…"
"What did you do to her, Genma?" Kakashi asks with a scowl, glancing back and forth between us.
Genma laughs and shakes his head, "Nothing I don't do to any woman," he says with a smile. "I'm serious though, I can't imagine how this started with you two…"
"It was the mission," I say with a shrug. "Kakashi felt the need that we be 'comfortable' with each other."
"Eh?" Genma laughs. "You old dog, that's my trick."
"That's not what I did," He growls to Genma, then quickly turns to me, "Sakura, that's not what I did." I laugh as he tries to defend his actions. "I mean, yes, we had to be comfortable with her, but that's not what I did."
"What's your trick Genma?" I ask, curious. "I'll let you know if that's what he did."
"I'm sure you can imagine," he sighs. "It's a three day process usually, depending what kind of girl she is, and how much of a risk taker the guy is. First day he tells her all they have to do is hold hands and act in love, but then that night he tells her it's un-believable. So obviously… they have to practice. Second day, he'll do stuff like kiss her, sweetly, not passionately, and putting his hand on her lower back, that usually works. That night, he'll get a little mad at her, tell her that he's trying so hard and she's not doing anything. By the third night she'll be done pretending that the relationship is passionate."
"Gee Kakashi," I laugh softly, pulling the baby's blanket tighter around him as he stirs slightly. "That sounds a lot like what you did. Is he allowed to factor in guilt, make her feel like she's the one crossing the line?"
"Way to go, Kakashi," Genma laughs, giving him a proud nod with a slight smirk. "More power to him if he can. Women know me too well though, so I usually can't get that one before she catches on."
"Gee, Kakashi, you tricked me too, what do you know?" I tease, kicking his leg gently.
"How else was I supposed to get you?" He asks easily. "Usually you're sane, and no sane woman would fall for me without some smoke and mirrors. But jokes on you, you're stuck with me now."
"Damn," I curse softly, smiling. I consider threatening that fact, but it's not really worth it.
"So there was really nothing going on before this mission?" Genma asks. "I find that hard to believe."
"He was my teacher…" I say with a shrug. "And a really good friend when you could get him to stick around long enough." I blush slightly as I say more than I probably should. "That's why I went to you, Genma, you know that."
"You should've come to me," Kakashi mutters.
"I would've scared you away," I laugh. "I was, what? Nineteen? Yeah, I don't think so."
"Oh come on," Genma laughs. "You didn't tell her, mate?"
"Tell me what?" I ask, turning to Kakashi.
"The only reason he let me come after you without killing me is because you didn't show any interest in him… which oddly enough…" He laughs lowly, which turns into almost a giggle. "I suppose if I was a good friend I would've told you she was interested in you, wouldn't I?" He laughs again, shrugging. "Oops." Kakashi just rolls his eye, rolling away from us. "Whatever, you're just jealous."
"Kakashi, you had a crush on me too?" I ask, tapping his back with my foot. "Why didn't you say something?"
"Why didn't you?" He mutters into the wind, ignoring my tapping.
"Are you kidding? I hit on you like crazy," I laugh. "You were just always too drunk to notice, or you weren't even there. Perhaps if you had spent more time with me back then things would've been easier."
"You made me drink," he growls, rolling back over to look at me. "And you drove me away. How was I supposed to sit there and watch as you pranced around in nothing but a mini skirt and not take advantage of the situation?"
I laugh softly. "I only did that once."
"How the hell did I miss that?" Genma sighs, glancing me over scandalously. I can practically see how he must be picturing me in the reflection of his glazed over eyes. Kakashi's fists clench.
"Ino," I say plainly. "You were on a mission," He nods in understanding, a little bit of disappointment evident in his flirty smile.
"Damn it, Genma, knock it off," Kakashi growls. "She's my wife damn it, stop being so damn… you."
"Woah, Kakashi, hold up," Genma says in surprise, scooting away from me. "I'm just kidding, ok? I know, I don't mean anything by it… Old habits, that's all."
"Yeah great, we all know you've had sex with her," he practically hisses. "You don't need to rub it in."
"As you," Genma practically laughs. "I may have had sex with her, but she's only been with you."
"Genma, hold the baby," I say easily, passing off the bundle o him without much thought. "Kakashi's grouchy and needs sleep." No sooner than the baby is in Genma's arms am I dragging Kakashi into the tent, sitting him down in front of me. "Now, Kakashi, pay attention, because I'm only going to do this once." His eyes light up in surprise as I transform into me, a three years younger version of myself.
"What are y- Sakura…"
"Calm down," I laugh, unzipping my shirt and slipping out of my skirt. I'd hated underwear in those days. "What do you see, Kakashi?"
"You," he answers plainly, swallowing thickly, eyes raking over me.
"And this me, this younger version of me, with fewer scars and manicured fingers, with thick make up and painfully long hair…" I comb my fingers through the hair, bringing it over my shoulders to cover my slightly smaller breasts. "Are you attracted to her?"
"Yes," he admits after a moment, probably trying to figure out if it's a trap.
"Do you know the difference between this me, and the older me?" I ask, edging towards him slowly.
"I can think of a few," he mutters.
"Experience," I say easily. "This me, she's a decent ninja, and she's a wonderful medic… but this me hasn't been in life or death situations so often she's immune, and this me wouldn't have the faintest idea how to heal someone while still protecting herself from outside attackers," Kakashi's trying to listen, that much I can see, but with how close I am to him, it's almost possible. "See this?" I point up to my collar bone, touching the smooth skin there. "No scar, this me hasn't been held hostage and nearly had her throat slit open. But you know what, this me… she's also a flirt. She's confident and sexy on the outside… but in reality…" I shake my head. "This me keeps her hair long because she knows men like it that way, regardless of how that's proved to be inconvenient. This me, she paints her nails every weekend… because she likes the idea of running them down someone's back. This me… she takes nearly an hour on her make up every morning, because she's scared men won't like the real her. This me… is a virgin who doesn't know her knee from her elbow in bed, and is desperately trying to make up for it by looking pretty." Kakashi tears his eyes from me to look up to my face, watching me watch him. "This me…" I trail my hands down to my stomach, touching the lack of the curve that had been becoming more and more obvious. "She's not in love with you; she doesn't know what love is. She doesn't wear your ring, or your mother's necklace… and she doesn't carry your baby. She lacks the experience I have today… and so she's less than me." I drop the transformation jutsu, now sitting before Kakashi with my above the shoulders hair, short nails, and baby bump. "If we had been together then, Kakashi," I say softly, reaching out to take his hand, pulling his palm to my stomach. "I have little doubt we wouldn't be here now. I was a stupid kid back then, and you would've hated that."
"Probably," he agrees, smiling softly.
"So consider yourself lucky," I say softly, crawling into his lap, "Consider yourself lucky that I got all the stupid out of my system early with Genma, and saved the best for you."
"I still consider myself lucky simply because you know I exist," he mutters with a soft laugh. I reach up to push away his forehead protector, combing my fingers through his wild hair.
"You look so tired," I whisper, running my thumb along the circles under his eyes.
"It's been a rough few days," he murmurs, blinking slowly.
"It's more than that…" I frown as he watches me push his hair out of his eyes. "You haven't been sleeping very well… where do you go Kakashi? I wake up and… and you're gone."
"I don't go anywhere," he mutters after a moment, looking down as I comb my fingers through his hair. "I just need to think… that's all."
"The memorial stone?" I guess quietly. He nods slowly. "You need your sleep, sweetheart, you can't keep doing this to yourself."
"I know," he buries his face I the crook of my neck, shaking his head slowly. "I should feel different, shouldn't I? I mean… more mature and responsible? Or something…"
"I don't know… I feel childish and stupid," I admit with a soft laugh.
"Me too," I can feel his weak grin against my skin, bringing a smile to my lips as well.
"We're going to screw this up, aren't we?" I chuckle, combing out knots in his hair.
"Probably," he sigh as he kisses my neck gently, pulling us back onto the sleeping bag. With a roll to the side he tucks us inside easily, zipping up the sleeping bag around us and pulling me as close as he can into his arms. "What should we name her?" He asks, ghosting his hand over my stomach in the lightest of touches.
"Can't just name her Zen, can we?" I sigh, laughing quietly to myself.
"Nope, that's against her rules." He sighs.
"Already letting our child rule our lives?" I ask with a grin, smiling wider when Kakashi nods, muttering something about how it's easier that way. "Well then I don't know, but now isn't the time to think about that, go to sle-" I interrupt myself with a yawn that makes Kakashi chuckle, nuzzling his nose into my neck. "-ep," I finish, trailing my hand down to weave my fingers with his. "Goodnight."
"'night," he murmurs, half asleep.
I wait until his breathing evens before I untangle myself from him, slipping out of the sleeping bag slowly, and then out of the tent without glancing back. "Genma," I say quietly, keeping my pitch low. "Let's talk." He looks up at me surprised, rocking the child in one arm and poking at the fire with the other. I sit across from him and watch him patiently. "You know a lot about this situation." He nods. "A lot about Zen," he nods again, a bit more hesitantly. "I've promised Zen a few things, and I intend on keeping those promises…"
"Any thing I can help with?" He asks slowly.
"She doesn't want to know who she is," I say plainly. "You're one of the few people privilege to the information that she is Lady Zenitha, and you will keep it that way. There will be no slipping up, there will be no telling others, there will be no telling her. If you so much as say her name in association with her… I'll personally cut your tongue out… do you understand?" Genma swallows nervously, nodding. "Good boy," I say with a powerful smile. "Now, stop pissing Kakashi off. He gets nervous when you talk about our past, so don't do it."
"He brought it up," Genma argues.
"Because he's an idiot and doesn't remember that it hurts, just lie next time," he nods, rolling his eyes, but apparently agreeing with me. "Good, now, give me the baby, and go get some sleep, I'll keep this watch." He hands over the baby easily, pausing when I meet his gaze. "Genma," I say in a mere whisper.
"Yes, Sakura?" He asks, just as quietly.
"Remember… you're older than her father, and her father is not a young man," I say as clearly as I can.
"Right, so… no hitting on her when she's old enough," he infers, still not moving. I simply smile. "Night Sakura," he mutters, kissing my forehead before turning to slip into the tent.
I sigh softly once he's gone, holding the baby closely to me as I glance around the camp ground. I pause suddenly as something warm presses against the top of my breast, practically kneading the skin. Glancing down my heart practically melts and the baby's little fist, pushing at the fat there. My heart clenches painfully when that little boy opens his lavender eyes, staring up at me with the softest gaze I've ever seen. "Oh, Kami," I whisper, feeling the tears spring to my eyes. I reach up hesitantly, letting him wrap his little fingers around one of mine. "Well fuck," I mutter quietly, freeing my hand from his grasp to brush my tears away.
It happens so quickly… one minute I'm rocking the boy to sleep… and now my body is shaking with sobs I desperately try to silence. I force myself not to breathe, knowing Kakashi will wake up easily if he hears me crying, and instead bite my knuckle, rocking back and forth slightly as I hold the baby close. I have to force my eyes open, blinding myself by staring at the fire, just to wash away the image of Zen on that bed, holding Genma's hand as she clenches her jaw in pain, tears streaking down her face. After a few moments of that I finally gasp, brushing away the tears quickly and taking a few deep breaths. I glance down at the baby, surprised to see tears forming in his eyes as well.
"Oh no," I gasp shortly. "Oh come on, don't cry… It's ok," I sigh heavily as his bottom lip seems to quiver. I hush him softly, and start to hum, standing up to dance around a bit as I attempt to sing him to sleep. It doesn't seem to be working.
"Sakura?"
I don't turn around, I don't want him to see my eyes. "It's fine," I whisper. "Go back to sleep."
"I wasn't sleeping," Genma mutters quietly, voice unsure.
I swallow, knowing he heard me cry. "Go to sleep, Genma. It'll be morning before you know it."
"Saku-"
"Don't."
"You need sleep."
"I'm fine," I practically growl, making the baby squirm slightly. "Go to sleep." He falters slightly, but then disappears back into the tent. "Kami," I mutter, holding the baby as close as I can as I lean against a tree carefully.
I vaguely remember Kakashi moving me into the tent in the middle of the night, trying to take the baby from my arms. Apparently his efforts were in vain, because when I wake up the baby is still sleeping soundly in my arms. A quick glance around the tent shows I'm alone, but as I yawn the tent door opens, letting in way too much light as Genma pokes his head in.
"Hey sleepyhead," he laughs. "Come on, it's time to go."
"What time is it?" I ask quietly, smothering a yawn.
"I donno," he laughs, "Late, let's go."
"Hold on," I mutter, slowly getting up. "Take the baby. I'll take a minute."
He ducks into the tent, with only one warning glance to remind me of the time, and takes the baby from my arms with a bit more ease than before, slipping out again just as quickly. I yawn again before getting into my travel clothes, stretching cautiously before packing everything up. After a few moments of glancing around the tent I sigh and slip outside.
My heart flutters a bit at the sight of a shirtless Kakashi scattering the remains of the fire. As if he hears it he turns around and smiles at me childishly, a dimple appearing at his cheek. "You ready?" he asks easily.
"Sure," I say softly, not able to stop form raking my eyes over him shamelessly.
"You two," Genma laughs from the other end of the camp. "You're ridiculous you know that?"
We both just laugh quietly, tearing down the camp and packing up quickly. Genma keeps the baby this time, seeming to enjoy carrying him far more than he likes carrying more than his share of the supplies. Once Genma pulls ahead of us a bit Kakashi drifts back to my side, letting our hands bump into each other twice before we lace our fingers. "I don't mean to… um…" he glances at me for a moment, then looks back to the road ahead.
"Take your time," I say with a slight smile.
"I just don't want to insult you," he mutters.
"I understand."
A moment later he tries again. "If you were so tired you should have woken one of us up… it was dangerous to- never mind. Just the first part."
Ah. Well that's fair. "I didn't realize I was so tired."
"You're ok?" He asks softly.
I nod. "Yeah."
"Don't lie," the sharpness of his voice actually startles me.
"I will be," I retort, rolling my eyes. He seems to want to say something else, but instead he just nods.
"Hey, um…" I glance up at him, surprised to see blush on his cheeks. "I just wanted to thank you for last night…"
"I'm not doing it again," I practically growl, staring up at him darkly.
"Oh I know," he says easily. "I wouldn't want you to… I just… thanks."
"I thought you might need to see all you didn't miss out on," I say with a shrug.
"Hey, love birds!" Kakashi and I release the others hand, looking up to Genma quickly. "We've got company." Kakashi and I both look around in surprise, three Iwa ninja following us at an almost safe distance.
"Where'd they come from?" I ask in shock. It's been years since anyone snuck up on me, probably longer for Kakashi. To my surprise he shrugs as well.
"Shall we stop for a chat?" he asks easily. Genma shrugs. I echo the action. "Alright," he mutters, pulling us to a stop. "Sakura, take the baby." I nod, allowing Genma to hand the baby to me and tucking him into my jacket to shield him from the direct view of the ninja. We have to wait less than a minute before the ninja get within hearing range, stopping nervously. "Where are you heading?" he calls out.
"North," one calls back, voice young. "You?"
"West," Kakashi replies easily.
"That's not your baby," a girl calls out, coming closer as the others try to pull her back. "You're pregnant, so that can't be your baby. Whose baby is that?"
"He's my godchild," I say easily, taking a step back towards Genma.
"Where is his mother?" she calls, quieter now as she gets closer. "Father?"
"Koume!" the one who spoke first calls, wanting to order her back, but apparently not having that much control over her.
"You stole him, didn't you?" she practically cries, stumbling forward.
She doesn't even have time to flinch as Kakashi presses a kunai to her neck, not even looking at her, but simply watching the other two ninja carefully. I frown at his loose hold on the blade… I would never consider that a threat in her position, and she obviously doesn't. "I think you and your friends should continue on your way. You're outclassed, you're outranked, and you don't know what you're getting into."
"Koume, that's a good idea, let's just go," the third ninja calls, edging backwards.
"Where did you get him?" she asks me steadily. "And where are you taking him?"
"From his mother," I say after a moment. "And to his father." She watches me with cold eyes for a moment, seeming to sink into my soul. Take care of her. Her? The baby isn't wrapped in gender-specific blankets, so I could understand her confusion, but perhaps she really means Zen. I don't let my surprise show, just hold her gaze for a moment longer before she nods, stepping away from Kakashi (and he lets her) and turning swiftly to flee with her friends. "What was that?" I ask after a moment.
"I don't know," Kakashi mutters, "but I don't like it… let's go."
We're off in a moment, the baby still in my arms and Genma carrying more of my share of the weight. "She was in my head," I say to both men as they travel on either side of me. Kakashi just nods, biting his lip. Genma pretends not to hear, so I drop the subject. We don't stop that night, but just slow down until morning light hits, leaving us only a few miles from Kinosaki.
"Brings back memories, eh, Kakashi?" Genma asks as we pass a quiet guard station. Kakashi doesn't respond, but signals for us to come closer. He nods up to the window of the guard station and Genma sighs, scaling the side of the building in seconds and slipping through and upstairs window. Kakashi and I wait quietly before Genma drops from the same window, landing right next to me with a light huff. "Just two sleeping guards," he says in a soft whisper, "Not ninja." Kakashi nods, starting off towards the village, leaving Genma and I to follow.
Within an hour we find ourselves standing awkwardly at the doors of the castle, waiting patiently for confirmation of our identities to be made. It comes in a matter of seconds, the door opening quickly to show a scrawny boy with dark hair and a certain sparkle in his eyes that brings a grin to my lips. "Shinji," I breathe, holding out my free arm to accept his hug.
"Sakura, darling. How are you?" He asks, wrapping his arms around me. "Kakashi," he nods over my shoulder. I can only assume Kakashi nods back his response. "What's this?" he asks in surprise, pulling away to look at the bundle in my arms.
"We have a bit to talk about," I say after a moment.
"May we come inside?" Kakashi asks quietly. "Somewhere a bit more… private?"
Shinji nods after a moment, stepping back inside quickly and beckoning us to follow. "You friend?" he asks as we walk through the halls slowly.
"Shiranui Genma," Genma says easily. "Ninja of the leaf."
"Toriyama Shinji," Shinji replies softly. "Lord of this castle."
"I knew your brother, and father, actually," Genma says easily. "I was sorry to hear of their deaths."
Shinji nods his thanks, opening the door to the room that had been formerly filled with pillows. Now it simply has a few here and there, most of them matching. "After you," he motions, waving us in. Kakashi goes first, leaving Shinji to close the door behind us, walking slowly to sit down across from us. He doesn't say anything, but just watches me for a long time, before he finally sighs. "May I hold him?"
"Of course," I say easily, passing the child over to him.
"He's got his mother's eyes," he sighs, pushing back the blanket to stare at his son. "He is my son, right?" I nod. "Thank you, for bringing him to me. Is she… how is she?"
"Gone," Kakashi says easily. "Disappeared once he was born, asking us to bring him to you."
Shinji nods, probably not believing it, but liking that story just fine. "Did she name him?"
"She wanted you to," I say softly.
"Hironori," he says softly. "Since she loved him so much. Then again, she loves you too, Kakashi."
"Kakashi's had enough babies named after him," I cut in. "Hironori is a fine name for him."
Kakashi smiles, snickering slightly. Shinji laughs softly as well. "Naruto and Hinata?" He guesses, I just nod. "And what about you?" He asks, glancing down at my stomach.
"It'll be another four or five months," I say with a smile, resting my hand gently on my stomach.
"Congratulations," he says with a smile. "Obviously you'll be staying, at least for the night?"
"We would love to," I say, interrupting Kakashi. When I glance back to him he's frowning. "What? I'm tired." He apparently doesn't have anything to say to that, but just nods, glancing back at Genma to stop him from saying anything.
"Fantastic," Shinji mutters softly, glancing at all of us in turn. "You all look pretty dead… Have you been traveling all night?"
I nod as Kakashi speaks, partially contradicting him. "Pretty much." Kakashi says, getting up quickly. Genma follows him immediately, but I take a moment to get up.
"Take your pick of the rooms," Shinji says, watching me carefully. "Are you ok, Sakura?"
"Just a bit tired," I say softly, taking Kakashi's arm gratefully. "It's been a long day. I just um… I just need some sleep that's all."
"Sakura?" Kakashi asks, looking down at me carefully.
I look away with a grimace, unable to keep my eyes open. "Sleep," I mutter softly, shaking my head.
"That way, choose any room you please," Shinji says, pointing down the hall, watching as Kakashi leads me from the room, choosing a bed seemingly at random to tuck me into. He leans forward to kiss my forehead, gently, but I'm asleep before his lips touch my skin.
"He's got his mother's eyes" I pull my eyes up slowly, meeting the lavender ones before me. "Our eyes," the girl whispers.
"Zen?" I ask in shock, trying to pull back, to see if it's really her, but she won't allow me to move, as if I can only move when she does.
"She's got my eyes," she whispers.
"He… you had a son," I correct softly, shaking my head. Zen copies the motion. I turn my head away from her, a strand of black hair falling into my eyes. When I glance back to her in surprise I see those same eyes, but instead of Zen there's the girl from before.
"Where is his mother?" She demands. I step back, rolling out of bed in surprise. Only a moment ago I had been sure she had been Zen. "Where is his mother?" She repeats, following me. I turn and run, slipping into the bathroom behind me and slamming the door shut. I freeze as the figure in the mirror catches my attention, her hair pitch black and little tears of blood falling from her lavender-grey eyes.
"Zen," I ask, surprised as I reach out to wipe away the blood. Of course my fingers just hit the cool glass, so I bring my other had up to my face, touching the bloody tears there. I swallow softly before pulling away my fingers to look at the warm liquid that coats them.
"Mother," I turn to the door in surprise, Koume standing there as well, tears of oil falling from her eyes.
"Koume," I whisper, holding up my arms in weak defense.
Before she reaches me, however, she drops to her knees, reaching out to touch my stomach. "Mother," she repeats. "Where's baby brother?"
"Koume," I repeat, pulling her face up to look me in the eye, petting her hair carefully, brushing it behind her ears and brushing away her oil tears. "You've got your mother's eyes." I whisper softly.
Koume reaches up, covering my hand with her own before she flickers away, leaving me alone in the bathroom. "Sakura?" I turn back to see Kakashi in the doorway, watching me as I hug my stomach with one arm, grasping the edge of the sink with the other. "Are you ok?" He asks, stepping forward, worry etched in his face.
"Fine," I say after a moment, shaking my head. "Just… just a really weird dream."
"She's ok?" He asks, glancing down at my stomach.
"I don't know," I say shaking my head. "H-how do I know?"
"I don't know," he repeats, shaking his head as well.
"Where were you?" I ask after a moment, glancing past him to the open door. He hadn't been there when I got out of bed, he couldn't have… he would've stopped me.
"Right next to you," he says with a scowl. "You must have been sleep-walking."
I shake my head, looking away. "I guess it doesn't matter, what time is it?"
"Late… early," he mutters, scratching the back of his head with a yawn. "I don't know. Come back to bed."
"Sure," I mutter, glancing into the mirror at my green eyes and pink hair.
"Are you alright?" he asks as he waits by the door for me to go first.
"Yeah, I think," I mutter, turning back to him and starting towards the door.
"I think you need more sleep," he concludes, leading me back to the bed with a gentle hand on my back. I nod, faking a yawn and crawling into bed. I smile softly as Kakashi follows me, kissing my shoulder as he wraps his arms around my stomach. I almost laugh at how quickly he's snoring softly in my ear. He needs the sleep more than I do, obviously. It really had been worrying me how often I had woken up to him just staring at me, or sharpening knives, or cleaning the kitchen. Quite frankly I wasn't sure which freaked me out more. Of course, it had happened once or twice that I had to go find him at two in the morning, usually at the memorial stone, and drag him back home. I'd like to contribute it to him simply realizing he's going to be a father and freaking out about it, but that's not his style. It more likely has something to do with Zen… it usually does these days.
"Oh stop that." I open my eyes in shock, looking around the room in panic. This time I know it's her, there's no doubt. "Jealous doesn't become you."
"Zen," I whisper, slipping out of Kakashi's arms and off the bed.
"I mean, come on… he's never tried to kill you," she half laughs. I don't know quite where I'm going, but I choose to follow my feet, out onto the porch behind the room. I pause only for a moment at the sight of the pouring rain, so thick I can't even see the hot spring only a few feet past the edge of the porch. "You know how many times he tried to kill me?" I step slowly off the porch, instantly drenched, but continue to the edge of the hot spring anyway. I kneel in the grass, slowly looking into the water, where after a moment Zen's face appears on the broken surface of the water. Not quite a reflection, but something similar. "Seven. Seven times he's tried to kill me."
"Zen," I breathe.
"I guess it says something that he's always failed so miserably though," she almost laughs.
"What is going on?" I ask with a shiver, swallowing nervously.
She smiles sweetly, the scar gone from her perfect face. "You tell me," she says, reaching out of the lake to grab a thin stand of my hair, dark red in color now that it's wet. I watch in shock as the strand continues to darken, almost completely black now. "I won't let him go without saying goodbye, Sakura," she mutters. In a moment she's wrapped her fingers around that little strand of hair and pulled me closer, so my lips are inches from hers, only a thin layer of water separating us. "Let me say goodbye, Sakura." By the tone of her voice there's no question of what she means.
"Zen, no," I whisper, shaking my head.
"You scared I won't give him back?" She laughs. "I'll be his daughter soon, Sakura… I'll have to give him back then."
"No, Zen please," I whisper, trying to pull away, but finding her grip on me in more than just my hair. "Don't."
"Oh Sakura," She sighs, "I'm not very good at asking."
I gasp as she pulls me into the water, pinning me to the bottom of the pool for only a matter of seconds before she releases me. I struggle to get to the surface again, but find my actions aren't my own. My limbs aren't responding properly; or at all really. But they're still moving, just not by my orders. "Sakura!" I can feel his hands wrap around me, pulling me out of the water, but I'm not in control of my actions as Kakashi pulls me from the water and into his lap. "What the hell, Sakura? You could've died!" He picks me up in a moment, carrying me back under the roof and out of the rain. "You ok?" He asks belatedly.
"I'm ok," I feel myself whispering. I try to fight against it, but there's not use, soon my hands snake their way up his chest and around his neck. "I'm ok," I repeat.
"Thank Kami," He sighs as he rubs my back. "What were you thinking?"
"Koume," I feel myself whispering. "She was here… she…"
"She was here?" He asks in shock. "She hurt you?"
"No… no," I gasp. "She was… obsessing over Zen." I can feel it so easily, how Kakashi tenses under me. "She had Zen's eyes."
"That's weird," he mutters after a moment.
"Really weird," I feel myself agreeing. "She called Zen her mother." Kakashi doesn't say anything and I feel my heart clench painfully. Zen's voice in my head doesn't really surprise me, I'm almost expecting it, though I would've thought she would've sounded a little more smug. I thought you needed to know.
He's her father. I think back loudly, mentally shaking my head. To make matters worse he hasn't even told me so. If he thinks the girl he's talking with is really me then he should have told me about his daughter, Zen's created the perfect opportunity to do so, but he's said nothing. I can feel the heartbeats echoing through my body as he continues to remain silent. He's not going to say it.
"Things are so weird these days," I feel Zen whisper. "I can hardly keep track of everything." She leans against Kakashi's chest, kissing his neck softly. "It's all so weird… I miss the old days… when our biggest issue was keeping Naruto and Sasuke from killing each other."
He rubs my back gently, allowing me… or Zen, rather… to pull his lips to hers. "Kashi," she whispers, touching her lips to his. He responds appropriately, until Zen pulls his bottom lip between her teeth, pulling back slightly.
I feel him sigh, gently stopping the kiss and pushing me away slightly, watching me carefully as I sit back on my heels between his feet. "Zen," he says easily, rubbing his lip as he stares me down.
"I was wondering how long it would take you," she says darkly, a scowl setting easily on my face. "You're a bastard," she whispers. "I can understand not saying anything to your daughter… showing up in her life after more than a decade… but to your wife? You'd hide this from her?"
"Let Sakura go," he says easily.
"You're lucky I have her locked away," Zen half laughs. "You'd be dead right now if she wasn't." I want to roll my eyes at her exaggeration. I have no intention of killing Kakashi for not telling me this. I might beat the crap out of him, but I wouldn't kill him.
"Give her back to me," he orders, setting his jaw.
Zen laughs shortly. "I could give her back, but I don't know if she's coming back to you."
"Can she hear me?" He asks plainly, watching Zen with tired eyes.
"Clear as day," Zen responds simply.
"Well then, Sakura, I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but if it makes any difference I didn't know myself until we came here a few months ago," he speaks so plainly, like he's rehearsed this speech, he probably has. "Zen tried to kill me soon after she got pregnant, so I went back to the leaf, but I didn't know then, Sakura, I swear, I had no idea she had a baby… I swear."
He's had almost- "You've had almost a year to tell her." Zen finishes for me.
"You know I'm a coward, both of you do," he says easily. "Zen asked me to stay away from her, Sakura… she said she'd raised her daughter strong, and that she didn't need me screwing up her life."
"You have a daughter, Kakashi…" I whisper.
"Oh gosh, she's strong," I feel myself saying in shock.
"She did the same thing to a Yamanaka as a kid," he says smugly. "You don't have much longer."
"Well then," she forces me to say quietly. "One last thing to both of you… she's not as strong as I would like to think, and she's easily swayed. I… I need you to help her." Of course we will.
"You don't have to ask me to do that, Zen," Kakashi mutters quietly, pouting as he watches me, or maybe Zen. "You just have to allow me to do so. What does she need?"
"Her father," she says softly. "People to take care of her… to raise her. To do a better job than I have." I'm sure you've done a fine job. "You haven't met her." Zen laughs, making Kakashi frown. She didn't show any fear when Kakashi held a knife to her throat. "That's because she knows who her father is."
"Stop that," Kakashi mutters, scowling. "You're making me nervous."
"You should be nervous," I almost growl, making Zen laugh, and then quickly wince.
"Damn," she mutters, and I feel my fingers begin to tingle as she fades. I twitch violently as her hold on me slips away, leaving me shivering as I sit in front of Kakashi.
I sniffle softly, biting my lip as I watch him. "Sakura," he whispers, so quiet I hardly hear it. When I don't respond he says my name again, a little louder, and reaches out to brush away my hair.
"Don't touch me," I snap, swatting his hand away. "How dare you?" I pull away as he just stares at me with pained eyes. "Who the hell do you think you are?" He opens his lips to speak, but closes them again, looking away. I shake my head, fighting back the tears brimming in my eyes. "You got any other kids I should know about?" I ask harshly.
"Sakura," he sighs, sighing heavily.
"Any other lies?" I ask, biting my cheek. "If so, tell me now, I really hope they'll pale in comparison to this."
"It wasn't a lie, Sakura," he says evenly. "I-" he shakes his head with a heavy sigh, burying his face in his hands. After a moment he pulls away, taking deep breaths before he speaks. "It was… excluding infor-"
He looks up at me in shock and it takes a moment for me to realize my palm in stinging, and a red mark is appearing on his cheek. "Oh Kami," I gasp, pulling back in shock. "Oh m… Kakashi I-"
He laughs softly after a moment, looking down at his feet. "Guess I deserved that," he mutters, touching his cheek tenderly, wincing a little. "I didn't mean to lie to you," he whispers. "I just didn't know what to say."
"How about… I'm already a father?" I suggest dryly.
He sighs, turning his head. "I'm not… not really. I mean, yes, but… I didn't raise her, I didn't… I never even met her."
"You never even tried, did you?" I say simply. "No wonder you thought you'd be a bad father… you are." Kakashi doesn't respond, just swallows, staring at his hands. "A year, Kakashi," I whisper. "What did you do? Anything?"
"Zen told me to stay away from her," he argues weakly.
"Because you've listened to everything she's said," I scoff.
"I was respecting her wishes," he says softly. "I kind of thought she had more say in the matter than I did."
"Kakashi," I sigh, rolling my eyes. "You're an idiot."
"What was I supposed to do, Sakura?" He argues, running his hand through his hair. "The last time I saw Zen I tried to kill her, and then I left her in the care of my insane cousin while I went and played my hand at being the leaf's own hero. To show up… what… ten… fifteen years later and say, 'hey, I know you don't know me, but some-teen years ago, I knocked up your mom, and then left her to die. Wanna call me dad?' Or did you see it going a little differently?"
"I think she would rather want to know you'd like to be in her life," I say simply. "Think about it, Kakashi. You've gotten married, and you're starting a family, and she's not part of it. I don't know if she'd want to be… but I think you should've let her know that she could."
Kakashi just stares at me for a moment before he nods, looking away. "She can?"
"Of course she can," I say easily. "Who else does she have?"
"Kami, I love you," Kakashi whispers, smiling as he stares at me.
"I won't slap you again," I respond, resting my hands on my knees.
His smile widens as he reaches out, wrapping his hand around the back of my neck and pulling me closer to him, kissing me softly once I'm close enough. He sighs as he pulls away, pulling me against his chest. "Why do you put up with me?" He asks, kissing the top of my head.
"I try not to ask that question too often…" I mutter, digging my fingers into his shirt. "I keep having to come up with new answers."
"I'm sorry I'm not what you signed up for," he sighs, brushing my hair out of my eyes.
"I signed up for Neji." I scoff quietly. "I'm fairly happy you're not what I signed up for." I bite my lip softly, then feel the blood rush to my face at how Zen had made me kiss him.
"What?" He asks, looking down at me.
"Do you… do you like that?" I ask softly. "How she kisses you I mean?"
Kakashi laughs softly. "You kisses are sweeter," he says easily. "I'm really into sweet these days."
"You don't want spicy too?" I ask quietly, not daring to look at him even though I know he can feel the blush.
"You're adorable," he laughs softly, kissing the top of my head. "But let's not talk about her anymore… it's getting weird. She's going to be our daughter."
"Right," I mutter softly.
I look up at a soft knock at the door, glancing back to Kakashi. "Who is it?" Kakashi asks quietly.
The door slides open, showing the figure of a young girl standing with her head bowed, Genma right behind her. "Look who I found," Genma says easily, pushing the girl into the room. "Always nice to wake up to someone so cute above me, but a tad bit better when she's not wielding knives." He tosses said knives onto the bed easily.
"Koume!" I gasp, moving out of the way as Kakashi stands up quickly.
"Let her go," he orders, pulling her from Genma's grasp and spinning her around quickly, cutting the ropes Genma had tied around her wrists. "Are you alright?" He asks, pulling her to look up at him, her lavender eyes catching the light.
"Fool," she sneers, pushing him away and flipping backwards, grabbing the knives on the bed and bouncing over to the other side.
"Now just hold on a minute," Kakashi says easily, not fazed by her quick movements. She pauses, waiting for him to continue. "I assume you know about Zen."
She nods cautiously. "I was here to check on my brother."
"You have somewhere to go?" he asks not even thinking about taking up a defensive stance as he steps a tad closer.
"Stay there," she orders, he stops. "We had a little house up in the mountains. No reason I can't go back there."
"Is there anyone else there?" Kakashi follows up, not taking his eyes off of her. She shakes her head slowly. "Why don't you stay here? There are plenty of extra rooms, I'm sure we could find one for you," she just looks at him cautiously. "Just for tonight, at least."
She nods slowly, lowering her hands. "Then I'll leave in the morning," she confirms.
"If that's what you want," Kakashi agrees.
She glances to Genma, who takes a step back as a form of surrender. After a moment her eyes drag over to me, first my face, and then my stomach. "Ok," she whispers softly.
So I'm trying to watch all of the Naruto Ship. Episodes, but my computer doesn't like Hulu anymore. If anyone knows of any sites where I can see them (with subtitles, or dubbed) I'd me very grateful if you'd let me in on it. I've already tried on justdubs, and I hate youtube for watching things like this (I always get distracted) but if anyone knows of any other sites let me know! :)
Long chapter, you're welcome. Ok guys, so yes, a bit of a plot twist I didn't actually plan… but it's for the epilogue. Um… I'm obsessed with Resident Evil 4 now… if anyone wants to give any hints for how to beat Separate Ways and the Assignment Ada (or whatever) mini games I would be oh so grateful. I've already beat the normal one twice (cuz I wanted to beat it with all the cool guns, cut my time in half) I know I'm a geek, but whatever. You all watch (or read) Naruto, I think that's pretty geeky too…
Enough of that: I'd love you all to review. Please. If you would. Maybe.