Parking Lots and Declarations

We pulled up to the theater and got in line for our tickets. The movie we had planned on seeing was already sold out and Em and Rose were discussing our other options. I was standing off to the side looking at the posters advertising the movies that were coming out in a few weeks when Edward walked up and stood beside me.

"Hey."

"Hey, where's Tanya?"

"She's not coming."

"Oh. What happened? Did she get a better offer from another guy?

"Yeah, Jacob called."

I slapped him on the arm and laughed.

Just then Em and Rose came walking over. They didn't have any tickets in their hands, so I figured they couldn't agree and were coming to get our opinions.

"Hey, Edward. Sorry you drove all the way here. The movie is sold out and there isn't anything else we wanted to see." Emmett pulled Rose a little bit closer.

"That's fine. I'll just head back then."

"I hate to ask you this man, but we were gonna stay at Rose's place tonight. Can you give Bella a ride back?"

I glared at my brother with the most evil look I could manage. I couldn't believe he was doing this. Rose just looked and me and bit her lip, fighting a smile. I suddenly realized that she wasn't going to be on my side with this one, so I aimed my glare at her too.

"You know what, Edward, you don't have to do that. I can call my mom and she'll come get me."

"No it's fine. I don't want her to have to come all the way out here, and we're going to the same place anyway."

He wasn't going to let me out of it. If Rosalie had kept her thoughts to herself earlier I wouldn't think twice about it, but now I was uncomfortable. I was stuck and there was nothing I could do. At least when I lived in the city I could have gotten a cab. Damn small towns.

Em and Rose waved as they turned to leave. I was grateful that Tanya hadn't come. It would be bad enough being in the truck alone with him, never mind his girlfriend being there too. We walked back towards his truck where he had parked far enough away that he didn't have to search for an empty spot. Always the gentleman, he went to open my door but it wouldn't move. He patted his pockets for his keys but came up empty. They weren't hanging in the ignition, so he had to have dropped them somewhere. He left me at the truck to go look for them and I leaned against the door, looking up at the sky.

I noticed a group of guys come out of the bar across the street. I heard one of them whistle, but I didn't look up, better not to encourage him. He started calling out to me, but I continued to ignore him. I didn't hear anything else and hoped he had given up. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him jogging towards me, while his friends laughed in the background. I realized that I was all alone in an empty parking lot. I couldn't even see Edward.

The man slowed to a walk and stopped and the back of the truck. As far away as he was, I could still smell the liquor wafting off of his clothes. I turned to walk back to the theater hoping that he would just leave. I felt his hand come down on my shoulder.

"Where you going pretty thing? I came all the way over here just to talk to you. " His speech wasn't severely impaired, but the way some syllables ran together indicated that he was more than a little drunk.

I spun around and knocked his hand lose. I turned back around and started to run. I knew he probably didn't mean any real harm, but he was drunk, and drunk people do stupid things. I didn't get but a few steps away when he grabbed my arm and yanked me back. I lost my balance and hit the pavement hard. He was leaning over me, sneering, and reached down to touch my face, but his hand never made it there. I saw something happen, but I didn't know what. All I knew was that the guy wasn't there anymore.

I heard something and looked to see Edward with his hands on the man's throat. He had him pinned up against the truck.

"You son of a bitch. If you ever touch her again I will make it so that your own mother can't identify your body, IF they ever find it." He was spitting his words through clenched teeth, and some of the moisture found its way on to the man's face. "You better leave right now, before I change my mind and do it anyway." I had never heard him threaten someone before and his voice was filled with a frightening amount of rage.

The man looked at me and Edward promptly slammed him against the truck again.

"Do NOT even LOOK at her again." He pulled the guy away from the truck and drug him in to the empty street. He threw him down on the ground and ran back over to where I was laying. I was so stunned that I had never even bothered to get up.

"Are you okay? Did he hurt you? I shouldn't have left you alone out here. I'm so sorry." He sounded a little bit panicked, but more angry. I could tell that the anger was directed at himself.

"I- I'm, I'm fine. Just sore, I landed on my back when I fell. Are you okay? I thought you were gonna lose it."

"So did I."

He helped me up and quickly ushered me to his truck. Once we were in he didn't waste any time leaving. I figured he was worried that the guys friends would be coming.

"Thank you, for helping me. I think the guy was just too drunk to realize what he was doing."

"Me too." His words were clipped. I could see even in the darkness that he had paled somewhat. His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly and I didn't say anything else.

We didn't talk much on the way home. Every so often I would have to readjust myself in the seat because of the ache in my back. He kept asking if I was okay, and I just kept lying. He was already too worked up. I didn't need to bother him with a couple of stiff muscles.

When we made it back home he drove right past the house and headed towards the shop.

"Um, you missed my exit driver."

"No, I didn't. I got you a present and forgot to give it to you earlier so I am taking you to it. I'll give you a ride back up so you don't have to walk through the cold." He seemed to have calmed down quite a bit.

I laughed, "What will Tanya say if she finds out that you bought me a gift?"

"What will Jacob say if he finds out that I bought you a gift?"

"Touché. You really didn't have to do that. I didn't get you anything."

"Didn't expect you to."

We walked inside and he went straight to the small wood stove that he used to heat the inside during winter. He put some more wood on top of the fire that was already going. I took my coat off and sat on the end of his bed since there were no chairs in the cramped space. He went in to his bathroom and came out with a tube of some kind of cream and a wrapped box.

"Lay down and lift your shirt up."

"What?" I thought I had heard him wrong. He couldn't have just told me to lay on his bed and pull my shirt up.

"I'm gonna put some of this cream on your back, it'll make sure you aren't too tight tomorrow." Yep, heard him right the first time. He sounded completely at ease about it.

"That's okay, it's in a low spot. I can take care of it later."

He sighed, "Bella, it's nothing I haven't seen before and I'm not trying to sleep with you, so stop acting like a little girl. Up with it."

I thought about it for a minute and realized he was right, we were friends and he wasn't offering anything I wouldn't have offered to him if he'd needed it. We were good enough friends again that it wouldn't be a problem.

"Hmm, a present and a free back rub. My, how the evening has changed. It's a good thing Tanya ditched you tonight, otherwise I would be getting punched in the face right about now."

He rolled his eyes at me and waited.

"Good thing Jacob isn't here either, otherwise you would be getting punched in the face right about now."

"Do you ever shut up, Bella?"

"Do you really have to ask that question?"

He was getting irritated so I stretched out on my stomach and laid my head on one of his pillows. I pulled my sweater up just enough to show him where it hurt most. He got up and went back in to his bathroom and grabbed a towel. Before I figured out what he had planned he yanked my jeans down about an inch or two, then tucked the towel in at the top. They were already low rise jeans, so I was sure he was getting a show, though he didn't seem to notice. If he was okay with it, then I wasn't going to let it bother me.

He pushed my shirt up a little higher and started to rub the cream on to my skin, working his way from top to bottom. I could smell the medication in it immediately. He stopped for a second and, before I could ask if there was a problem, a box landed by my face.

"There, open it."

"Wow, you sound so sincere, now I know why you aren't worried about Tanya finding out."

I lifted myself up on my elbows and took the box in my hands, "You really shouldn't have done this." I took the wrapping paper off of the box and opened it.

I recognized the bracelet immediately.

"I wasn't looking for anything, but when I saw it, it looked like something you would have. So I bought it." He said it so off hand that I didn't feel bad about taking it.

"Thank you, it's perfect." I laughed a little, "Actually I bought the same one just last week, but I let Em have it today to give as Rosalie's Christmas present. That dope didn't even buy her anything."

"Ouch, rookie mistake."

He had rubbed the middle part of my back and had now made his way down to the lower portion.

"What's this?"

"Hmm?" I knew what he was talking about, but I was suddenly too embarrassed to speak.

"You got a tattoo?" He sounded surprised.

"Oh, yeah, I completely forgot it was back there. I try to ignore it as much as possible. I think I'm going to have it removed. I don't even know why I got it in the first place."

"When did you get it?"

"A few weeks after I broke up with you. I was in a bad state of mind, and no one was there to talk me out of it."

"What does it mean?"

"It's Italian for 'Love lost is life lost', or something like that. I know, ironic, right?" I laughed at myself, "I don't speak Italian, so for all I know it says 'Kick me'."

I started to make another joke, but stopped. I felt his hand stop on the side of my hip and his thumb rubbed over the words.

"The hurt muscle is on the other side." I couldn't see him so I didn't know why he had stopped. I kept waiting for him to start over in a different spot.

I felt his lips brush over the tattoo very, very lightly. I knew it was his lips because I could feel the heat from his breath on my skin. I couldn't move, couldn't make myself get up. I didn't know what to do. I knew I should move, but I couldn't. I was startled to realize that a very big part of me didn't want to.

The next time he pressed his lips firmly against my skin and a little above the tattoo. The next thing I knew he hitched his thumb on the one side of my jeans and tugged just a little bit more. I felt his lips open against my skin and his tongue barely grazed the spot he first touched. My insides were suddenly in flames. I hadn't wanted this in a long time, not from anyone, especially him. I hadn't looked at him this way in what felt like forever, but I was ashamed to realize that I liked the idea. I was still frozen in place staring at his headboard with my mouth open in surprise. I was frozen and on fire all at the same time, if that was possible.

He moved just to the left and started kissing all the way up my spine until he reached my the clasp of my bra. His hands had been on both sides of my waist, and followed suit upwards. I felt him place his face on my back and sigh. He pulled my shirt back down and put my pants back in the correct place.

I turned over to face him. "What was that?"

Even though the fire had died down somewhat, it was like it had burned away whatever lid I had put on top of my emotions. There were feelings flooding me now that I never would have imagined I still had.

"That was me doing something you didn't want me to. I'm sorry, Bella. I don't know what happened." He had been sitting on his knees, and now he was running both hands through his hair. He looked guilty.

I found myself wishing that his hands were tugging through my hair. I wanted to tell him that yes, I did want him too. I wanted him to do it again. I couldn't make the words come out. I knew I wouldn't be able to say anything because my nerves closed my throat. I don't know that I consciously decided to do anything, but I was suddenly positive I wanted to show him instead.

I pulled my legs up and sat on my knees facing him. He still hadn't looked up. I reached out with a shaky hand and gingerly took hold of the bottom of his shirt and pulled it towards me. He looked up and was searching my face for something, but I couldn't meet his eyes. I pulled his shirt up over his head and nearly gasped. His body was still tan from being in the sun all summer. The muscles were defined and just right, not too big. This was not the Edward I remembered. This Edward was different. I ran my hand across his chest, then slid it around his neck, and slowly leaned forward. I lightly kissed his collar bone and nuzzled in to his neck.

He placed his hands on my shoulders and pushed me back just a little. I was scared because I didn't take in to account that he might not want this. He might have stopped for a reason. Then he took my chin in one of his hands. He pulled my face up until my eyes were level with his and waited until I met his eyes with mine. He hesitated for a small second but then kissed my lips softly.

I had forgotten how perfect kissing him felt. There wasn't any thought required to carry out the action. His body might have changed, but his kisses were the same. They were slow and soft, but not too soft. The more he kissed me the harder they got. I wanted him again, and I wanted him badly.

We opened our mouths at the same time and he kissed me with a passion that I hadn't ever felt from him before. A moan escaped low in my throat as I tightened my grip on his neck. It seemed to have encouraged him because the next thing I knew I was on my back and he was pressing his body against the length of mine. He started kissing me harder and slowly moved his hands under my shirt. He lifted it to just under my bra, then dropped his face from my sight and started gently kissing my stomach just above my jeans. I thought I was going to either explode or spontaneously combust. It wasn't possible for a person's body to go through this and survive it.

He was kissing his way back up towards my face, and he pulled my shirt off in the process. I was suddenly grateful that I had been forced to wear one of my few nice bras so that it wouldn't show beneath the low cut of my sweater.

He pulled at my bra strap and was tracing lines along my collar bone and shoulder with his tongue. He was holding himself up with one hand, but the other had found its way underneath my bra. His hand was warm, and firm against my skin.

Our pants were still on, but I had wrapped my legs around his waist. He was pressing himself against me, and the pressure made me almost euphoric. I couldn't wait. I needed this, needed him, now. I reached down and started to loosen his belt.

I don't know what made me think of it, because my mind had completely lost every thought it ever had, but I suddenly remembered that he wasn't mine. He belonged to someone else, and no matter how I felt now, this was wrong.

"Stop. Stop, please." I quickly maneuvered myself out from underneath him and spun so that I was sitting on the edge of the bed facing away from him.

"What? Did I do something wrong?" He had sat up and sounded shocked.

"You have a girlfriend Edward, how do you think she would feel if she knew about this? I can't be that girl Edward. I can't be the girl that knowingly sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. I couldn't be a cheater and I'm not going to let you be one either."

"Bella, you don't underst-"

"No, Edward, you don't understand. We were about to make a huge mistake. I've hurt you enough Edward, I can't do it again, I still love you too much and I realize that now. I wouldn't survive knowing that I did this to you again, caused you to lose someone you love. I'm not going to let you throw away what you have with Tanya just because you fell back in to an old routine with me. I'm sorry, this was all my fault. Please don't come to the house anymore."

I stood up and found my shirt. I pulled it back on over my head and straightened out my pants.

"So that's it? You're just gonna walk out?"

"What other choice do I have Edward? You know that I can't do that to her, or you. No matter how I feel about you now it doesn't change the fact that you are in a committed relationship with her."

"What do you mean 'how you feel about me now'?"

"I'm not getting in to this with you. It won't change anything. You were scared because of what happened to me earlier. It didn't help that you were rubbing my back. I told you about getting that tattoo and it made you think about how we used to be. You don't love me anymore Edward. This was all just a big mistake. If tonight would have been like every other night then this wouldn't have happened."

I had been quickly backing across the room while I spoke and had reached the door. I saw the confusion and pain on his face and that did me in. I started crying and turned to go. Thankfully he didn't come after me. I ran back to the house through falling snow. I had left my coat in my hurry to escape and was freezing by the time I reached the house.

Once inside I went straight to my room and eventually cried myself to sleep.