Long story short, my computer decided to get a virus and die. I backed up everything I had written on a flash drive thing. My daddy gave me my Christmas present early since my computer was dead, a laptop(:. I attempted to put everything I copied on my laptop, but they saved weird and long story short (again) I basically had to re-type everything thing. But I've been soooo busy lately. School, friends, holidays, writers block, I was sick for the first week of winter break (this is my second and last week) up until the eve of Christmas Eve. But now, I'm backk!
The all too familiar blaring of Olivia s alarm clock sounded, and she let out a groan. The arms around her instinctively pulled her closer and planted soft kisses in her hair.
"Turn that damn thing off". Elliot mumbled and she let out a small laugh.
"But we'll fall back asleep, which we can't". They both sighed.
"Five more minutes?" Another small laugh from her.
"I wish," she threw herself out of bed and opened her blinds.
She wasn't surprised when she was met with dull gray clouds instead of a ray of sunshine. Gloomy weather always seemed to strike on funeral days. She sighed once more.
"Guess I better go get the girls."
"I'll come," he touched her shoulder gently and she rested her body back on him.
"This is the only time we've really been alone."
"I know, I know." He pulled in for a kiss before the two departed for the girls, who had stayed in Olivia s guest room.
He watched her walk ahead of him; NYPD sweats, a T-shirt gracing her strong body, and wondered how she was. They really hadn't had a chance to talk, something he resented. So with a sigh, he followed her,
Olivia lightly drummed her hand on the guest room in which the girls had been staying. They had tried to make it as homely as possible, and it was a cute little area. Until Olivia was granted custody, just as Ashley wanted (Olivia too) knowing they would be in good hands, they would stay here. Once all was done, the group planned on moving to a town home where more freedom for the girls was and a closer location to work. It was also when Olivia and Elliot planned on coming out as a couple.
The room had furniture pieces that had either been donated from Elliot s kids or bought. Each had half the closet and an area for their personal belongings. Olivia had promised them that when all was settled, they would get their furniture from their old house. But all their more personal possessions had already been received
"Lacey, Amber! Are you girls up?"
Yeah Livia!" Lacey cried happily.
"Amber?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, can I come in?"
"Yes!" Lacey called again. Olivia opened the door and Lacey attacked Elliot.
"Elliot! You're here! Did you spend the night?"
"Yeah, Elliot did you spend the night?" Amber asked suspiciously.
"I did." He shook his head.
"Where did you sleep?" Lacey asked again.
"The couch." He answered slowly. The girls were becoming suspicious of their relationship. Amber peered out around her and looked out the door.
"Why is the couch fixed up with no blankets or pillows?" She asked.
"I put them away."
"Right, we'll go with that". Amber rolled her eyes, Olivia blushed and Lacey continued hugging Elliot's legs.
Within an hour and half later, the group was at the church, suddenly stone faced. Lacey and Amber where both in black dresses, hair curled and pined back with tights and black flats. Elliot wore a suit and Olivia was in black dressy pants, boots with a small heel and a black silk blouse. She had made sure she put on her waterproof mascara as well.
The church wasn't filled. For moral support, Cragen had shown up. Old coworkers and friends of Ashley sat scattered, all looking uncomfortable and unsure. An older lady sat in front, sniffling. Lacey perked up when she saw her, Amber looked shocked.
"Grandma!"
"Grandma?" Olivia questioned but before anything could be done, Lacey chased up to the front arms waving.
"Shit." Olivia mumbled, forgetting where she was, "Lacey come back!" She hissed quietly. But the little girl continued going. Amber looked up at Elliot.
'We thought she was dead."
"Dead?"
"Well not exactly, just that we could never see her again and she couldn't see us. Lacey assumed the worst and thought she was dead. Mama didn't deny it so, I just thought." The young girl shrugged her shoulders as her sentence trailed off.
"Why?"
"I don t know. I was sure that it was just another fight and we' d see her again in a week or so. Dad was at work, and mama was yelling on the phone. The other person was yelling back and I knew it was grandma by the voice. Before she hung up, mama told her that you're never gonna see any of us again! That's when she told me and Lacey we would never see her again. I'd heard it before, but when she didn't show up I started to believe it." Amber sighed and her voice slightly quavered.
Elliot looked over at Olivia and Lacey, who was sitting in the woman s lap. Olivia looked uncomfortable, but met his gaze. She motioned for them to come over.
It's her. She mouthed. He nodded and looked down at Amber who was looking around.
"Why don't we go down there?"
"What if it's not her?"
'Well look at Liv." He said gently and pointed to the woman who nodded to Amber. She suddenly tensed up.
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because I hate her!" She exclaimed, a lone tear slowly sliding town her cheek. Elliot bent down to her level.
"Why do you hate her?" He asked quietly.
"Because she left us! She promised me and Lace that no matter what she would take care of us and mama. They used to get into awful fights, but she always came back and helped us. Even if it meant mama throwing stuff at her to leave, she would come to apologize, whether it was her fault or not. Mama always told her she would never see us again, but then she showed up, smiling with a plate of cookies. If she would've j-just come!" Amber erupted into a heap of sobs and collapsed into Elliot s arms.
"Amber, it's okay. I know it's hard when someone breaks a promise, a very important promise. But as much as you want to, you can't change the past. All you have is now, and you don t want to spend it mad at someone you love. Besides, one minute of being mad at someone is a minute of happiness you could've had." He smiled and hugged her closer, "do you think you can do this?"
"W-what if I'm scared too?"
"It's okay to be sacred, and you've got Liv, Lacey and me right here."
"I guess." With a sigh she and Elliot stood up, but not before she gave him one more hug.
"Thanks Elliot."
"Welcome sweetie. Let's go."
The pair walked slowly and silently down the middle of the church to where Olivia stood waiting. She motioned her over and gave her a sweet smile.
"It's okay Amber."
"I know." She sniffled.
"We're right here sweetie." Olivia said promising before giving her a slight push forward. She made her way over as Elliot made his way to stand next to Olivia, filling her in on what had happened.
Amber gave a shaky sigh, and walked over. Her grandmother's eye's shone and a tear traced its way down her wrinkled cheek.
"Oh Amber!" The old woman sniffled, "you've grown so much."
"Why did you let her die?"
"Excuse me?"
"Why. Did. You. Let. Her. Die?" Her voice was suddenly cool, her words formed and spoken slowly.
"Oh honey, I didn't let her die!"
"Yes you did!" She screeched, "you just left us! You knew he would kill her but you didn't care! You promised us you never would leave! You promised! How could you just do that? You promised!" Her voice crackled with tears and she choked out the word promise.
"I'm sorry hon, so s-" But Amber pushed through the crowd around her and ran out of the church, tears making a waterfall down her face.
She made her way outside, sky still gloomy and threatening, Way out west, a stubborn ray of sun shine attempted to break through the clouds. She threw herself on the ground, held her knees to her chest and sobbed. She wanted her mom.
Her mom would've held her close and let her cry as long as she wanted. She would've traced lazy patterns in her back as Amber buried herself in her chest and cried. She wished she could feel her mother's arms tight around her, angel soft kisses in her hair, her mother's sweet voice singing to her.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Oh please don't take my sunshine away.
Oh please don't take my sunshine away.
So as she sat there, slightly shivering in as cool raindrops plopped on her, rocking herself, tears staining her face, and sung.
"You are my s-sunshine, my only s-sunshine. You m-make me hap-" Her voice quavered, her body shook and she wanted to collapse.
Suddenly, the ray of light from earlier broke through, leaving part of the sky bright but pale. It sent strong waves of hope to her and she forced herself to keep going.
"You make me happy, when skies are gray." Her voice turned steady and grew from a broke whisper to a loud call," you'll never know dear how much I love you. Oh please don't take my sunshine away." And as her mother s voice filled her head, her soothing voice singing along, Amber raised her head high.
"Oh please don't take my sunshine away!"
The little ray of light grew.
I was really tired of editing and everything, so if theres any errors (I'm sure there is), just try to ignore them please.
I'm about ready to end this so I can start a new story. I'm ending Holding on to Hope (:o just read that update and don't be too mad) and I'll post the first chapter of one of my new stories. I have a idea for the other, I just need to type it.
Review? :)