Three
A case of mistaken identity is like getting a meal without pickles on your hamburger or tapioca pudding, a terrible mistake that needs to be corrected promptly.
For example, my own brother was once mistaken for Count Olaf himself because he simply had the tattoo of an eye on his ankle just as I do and an entire village burned him to a stake because of a case of mistaken identity, whereas the real villain went free and disposed of a very crucial piece of information with a harpoon gun before his departure.
Thankfully, the Baudelaires were nowhere near the Village of Fowl Devotees whenever Sally Sebald asked them why they had journeyed with Count Olaf so there was no chance that any villagers were going to burn them to a stake unless of course some were hiding within the lighthouse, which some villagers are known to do, particularly ones dressed in cow suits. So the Baudelaires were able to clear up his identity rather quickly. "That's not Count Olaf," Violet explained.
"That's his evil twin brother," Klaus added. "And his name is Falo," Sunny remarked. Sally Sebald looked even more puzzled then before and asked them a series of questions, starting with, "Are you sure its not Olaf? I saw a glimmer in his eye." To which Violet replied, "We're quite sure, we saw the same glimmer and it is only a fact that he is Count Olaf's evil twin."
"But if he is Olaf's brother, then he is just as wicked as Olaf," Sally remarked. "Well Falo has been with us for quite some time, and although he is absent-minded, he is a noble person, and the reason he is Olaf's evil twin is because he is the exact opposite of Olaf; good," Sunny replied. Sally Sebald scratched her head in confusion and then muttered, "I suppose it must've been a case of mistaken identity. I'm sorry to accuse you of being ruthless villains, Baudelaires."
The young blonde woman began to circle the lighthouse and stated, "I guess that explains why when he arrived he was speaking in Vocal Flocculation Dialect, and why he insisted that you were volunteers."
"We are volunteers, the name badges say so," Violet pointed out. "I'm sure you children are old enough to realize that something that simple doesn't make you noble, which is why I needed to talk to you in private to be sure that you were indeed who you claimed to be. With the variety of articles being published in The Daily Punctilio, I'm not sure what to believe anymore," Sally Sebald stated.
"Exasm," Beatrice remarked, which probably meant "Excuse me, ma'am but you still haven't told us why you needed to talk to us and even though you've told us who you are we don't know you" or perhaps "I'm so tired and I really need a nap."
"I guess it shouldn't surprise me that your parents never spoke of me. After the schism, we were instructed to never reveal other volunteers just in case there were hidden microphones nearby; which is why I can't tell you now what is going on at the Anxious Clown diner," Sally Sebald explained. "Does it have something to do with ERT?" Violet asked.
The blonde woman's eyes widened in surprise and she wondered, "Where did you hear about that?" Before the Baudelaires got a chance to answer, there was a knock on the door and Falo asked, "Excuse me, but I was wondering where it is that we will be sleeping?
" Sally sighed and answered, "I'll be down shortly, sir." She turned back to the four orphans and stated, "I suppose we can finish our discussion tomorrow, Baudelaires; we've all had a rough day and I have a feeling that tomorrow will prove just as hectic for us."
"Why do you think that?" Klaus wondered. "I'm expecting guests at the Anxious Clown diner tomorrow morning around lunch time in the afternoon," Sally replied, which didn't make any sense at all after she said it and then added, "I'm afraid I don't have appropriate commendations for all of us, so you'll have to sleep here. I can bring you sleeping bags, if you want."
"We'd appreciate it," Violet said with a nod. "I only have three, so two of you will have to share one," Sally Sebald explained. Just then they spotted a light coming from the lake and Sunny asked, "Is that an incoming vessel?"
"Right you are, and I forgot to mention that; but an extra task along with sleeping here is manning… or womanning, the lighthouse. Whenever you see a ship signal like that it means they are nearing Damocles Dock. And since it is the middle of the night, they don't want to ram their ship into the Rancorous Rocks or get lost in the Wavy Whirlpool; so they are looking for a way to make it to land, and that is why this lighthouse is here. If you see a ship heading toward the dock you need to activate the spotlight so they can make it here without disaster, seeing as the leeches are particularly active at nighttime," the young blonde woman told them.
"How are we supposed to get any rest if we're supposed to be running the lighthouse as well?" Klaus wondered aloud. But their new companion had already left, leaving the four children alone at the top of the Lavender Lighthouse for the night.
"This is beyond words," Violet muttered as she activated the massive spotlight and added, "How are we supposed to get any sleep if we're going to have to keep this running all night long?"
"Maybe we can take shifts?" Klaus suggested. "That solution makes a certain amount of sense, but I really need to sleep; I've grown tired of resting in the back of Falo's car," Sunny answered. "Ok then me and Klaus can take turns during the night," Violet suggested and then added, "I've grown accustomed to sleeping under worse circumstances."
"Hey, she forgot to give us our sleeping bags!" Klaus exclaimed and then said, "I'll go and remind her." Heading down the winding staircase again; the middle Baudelaire had every intention of inquiring about the sleeping bags that Sally Sebald had told them about, but halfway done he overheard a conversation that he wished he hadn't
. Apparently their new friend was talking to someone over the phone, perhaps miles away or next door; seeing as whenever you talk over the phone its hard to say where the person is that you're talking to unless of course you have a more modern technology in order to track such things.
But Klaus wasn't wondering about the person she was talking to, although perhaps he should've been; instead he was listening intently to what Sally was saying.
"ERT! That's right, and I'm positive that they should've known about F's betrayal," she stated to whomever she was speaking to. "And I mentioned the meeting that is scheduled for tomorrow and they acted like they hadn't heard anything about it. These cannot possibly be the Baudelaires," Sally remarked.
Klaus softly gasped and returned to the top of the lighthouse, where his siblings waited expectantly for sleeping bags. But when Klaus came back with none, but rather a look of concern on his face; Violet asked, "What's going on?" "Sally thinks we are villains and not volunteers," he explained. "I guess that explains why we have to sleep here," Sunny stated. "For some reason she thought we should've known about what is happening tomorrow at the Anxious Clown," the middle Baudelaire stated.
"Maybe it has something to do with the event that we were invited to by ERT?" Violet wondered. "The way she was talking about ERT it sounded venomous," Klaus stated and then said something that might've been true, but he had no idea at this time whether or not it was. "Maybe . and ERT are against one another?" he wondered. "So now we'll have to convince her that we are in fact the Baudelaires," Violet lamented as she turned off the spotlight once she was sure that the boat had made it to the shore.
Had the eldest Baudelaire realized who's ship she had just directed to the Damocles Dock, as I do now; then I am willing to wager a large sum of money perhaps even my entire fortune, that Violet Baudelaire would not have guided them to the dock in any way whatsoever.
And I often try to remind Violet of this fact, seeing as she had no way of knowing that the ship was carrying very dangerous fiends aboard it and she was simply doing the task that Sally Sebald had assigned her; and the young blonde woman who had told her to do these things also did know of who was onboard the ship, but had secret agendas of her own which were not made clear to Baudelaires yet.
So as she laid down and rested and let Klaus take the spotlight, so to speak; the oldest orphan had no way of knowing until the following morning that she had inadvertently helped their enemies arrive at Lake Lachrymose.
Klaus spent the remainder of the night looking out across the lake for any signs of activity, or storms brewing and on a few occasions slumped off into a short nap, that lasted for maybe fifteen minutes at the longest; and the middle orphan hoped that whenever he'd done this no one was attempting to get to the Damocles Dock and didn't crash into the Rancorous Rocks or get lost in the Wavy Whirlpool or wind up stuck in Curdled Cave.
And once the morning came, he woke up his siblings and muttered, "What do we do about Sally? She is convinced that we are her enemies!" "Then today we'll have to try our hardest to convince her that this is not the case," Violet decided firmly as she yawned and watched a spectacular sight outside of the Lavender Lighthouse.
It may come to you as a surprise that this structure is not actually lavender in color, but is a plain blue brick building sitting on the edge of the Hazy Harbor overlooking the Lake Lachrymose. The reason for its name comes from the sight that Violet was now witnessing, but it would be better to view it from an incoming boat; such as the Fickle Ferry and to watch as the sun rose over the horizon and basked the building with its glow, causing the bricks to change in their pigment a word which here means "different color" and thus give them a lavender hue.
Despite all of the situations that they had recently endured, whether it was escaping the fire of the Ned H. Rirger Theater or even enduring the sewers in the Very Fine Dwelling; Violet and her siblings still had the capacity to take in nature's beauty and from their standpoint looking toward the east they were able to watch as the sun rose slowly over the lake and gave everything a golden glow and the eldest Baudelaire even surmised that this sight might've been one reason why the Lavender Lighthouse had become a tourist trap quite some time ago, and in this respect; she would be partially right.
The Baudelaires wished that they had the time to stare at this beauty for days, to completely capture it or perhaps to take the time to paint a masterpiece; which might I add is a wonderful pastime that I've gotten the chance to explore but have always wanted to and perhaps had things turned out differently me and my good friends would've painted this very masterpiece that I am now describing.
But sadly that is not the case for myself or the Baudelaires, for just as I was snatched away by circumstances relating to unrequited love and secret organizations and violins, so Violet, Klaus, Sunny and Beatrice were snatched away from this sight whenever Sally Sebald entered the Lavender Lighthouse and proclaimed, "Looks like your guardian is already down at the Anxious Clown diner, Baudelaires. We should be going as well."
The Baudelaires followed her down the winding staircase to the car that was waiting outside and Sally reminded them, "Today the Anxious Clown will be very busy because we have very important guests arriving, so I'm going to be changing up your assignments. Sunny, I'll need you to wait tables, Klaus; I'll need you to make the food and Violet, I'll need you to fix the ice machine."
The children didn't object to these demands as they drove thru the town of Lake Lachrymose, each no doubt curious to find out who their visitors were. "Don't forget they'll be arriving sometime this morning around lunchtime in the afternoon," Sally Sebald told the orphans, which didn't make much sense this time nor did it even make sense last time or any other time it was ever mentioned.
Klaus, Beatrice, Violet and Sunny however were too focused on the discussion they'd had last night to worry about this technicality, although I can assure you had Josephine Anwhistle still been living she would've pointed out what poor grammar this one on the part of my dear Sally. But sadly just as someone in this story that is important to me is long gone and just as someone near to the Baudelaires is long gone and just as someone close to you or a friend of yours is long gone, Aunt Josephine and her need to correct grammar are long gone as well.
When they arrived at the Anxious Clown, the Baudelaires were surprised to find that Falo had changed into the outfit of a restaurant host, similar to the uniform Sally had been wearing, and Larry; the Baudelaire's former waiter and current co-worker, was busy redecorating tables with new snazzy covers.
"What's the meaning of this?" Sally Sebald asked. "Since I am now the owner of this establishment I felt it was necessary to make a few changes to the theme," Falo explained. "Gustav designed these himself!" she exclaimed in disbelief and then muttered, "All right, it's fine. It doesn't matter, as long as we can handle what comes our way today."
Violet, Klaus and Sunny rightly guessed that she was talking about their incoming guests whereas Beatrice was busy feasting on an entrée that Larry had prepared. "Get this little beastie off of me!" the waiter exclaimed.
"Beatrice!" Violet scolded the infant, to which Sally muttered, "The Anxious Clown is no place for children!" "But all of us are children," Klaus pointed out. "And the only reason you're here is because of those name badges you're wearing," the young blonde answered and then turned to Falo and said, "I can meet and greet the hosts. How about you tend to things in the kitchen?"
"Sounds reasonable," the evil twin of Count Olaf agreed and then allowed her to do the job he had been doing and moved toward the back of the diner. The Baudelaires followed their current guardian, eager to relate with him some of the things they'd learned; but unfortunately Violet, Klaus, Sunny and Beatrice would not get that opportunity because the bell indicating a customer had arrived rung as soon as they got into the kitchen. Klaus rushed to the window and asked, "What can I get for you, sir?"
"I really came a rather long way trying to find need of assistance in the manner of obtaining food or sustenance. Help if you can, or maybe you can't, considering that many volunteers don't eat here anymore for one reason or another, now please?" the man asked and then tapped on the bell again and Klaus looked at him in confusion and muttered, "Do you want to order something off of the menu, sir?"
The man looked at him with a raised eyebrow, ordered the usual and then headed off to a booth. Meanwhile, Violet had proceeded to tie up her hair with a ribbon, something she commonly did whenever she was tackling a major problem and looking over the ice machine, which as Larry had indicated hadn't been working for quite some time. As she attempted to figure out a way to operate it, Falo passed her by and asked, "Violet, have you found it yet?"
The oldest orphan looked up from her work and muttered, "I'm not realty sure what you're wanting me to look for." "Don't worry, you'll know when you find it," Falo replied and then began to search thru the diner's kitchen again. Sunny was having the hardest time of all the children, trying to rush between tables and obtain orders, which considering the former toddler's height; was quite a challenge for her.
But Sunny did her job without complaint, and also made sure to watch as any guest entered the diner and Sally Sebald checked them in and then guided them to a table or booth.
Yet as the hours ticked by, and it passed from morning to afternoon, none of the Baudelaires had seen anyone that they'd recognized, and those that had recognized them hadn't said anything about it. And so it came about at two thirty that Klaus, Violet and Sunny were all eager to give up and concede that nothing of importance was here at the Anxious Clown diner; until…THEY arrived.
Klaus had just finished an order whenever he looked up thru the window in the kitchen and saw THEM and gasped in shock and Violet was still trying to figure out the mechanics of the ice machine whenever she turned her head and looked thru the double doors of the kitchen and saw THEM and Sunny was serving a poor sailor who'd just finished telling her a sorrowful story about a man who'd been devoured by leeches whenever she nearly dropped the soup into his lap on account of THEM.
And I'm quite sure had I been there with the Baudelaires and seen THEM that I would've stopped whatever I was doing and stared as well. And the reason this is, is because these two particular individuals were the very personification of everything that the Baudelaires feared and even wicked people such as Count Olaf couldn't look them in the eye and if I even here mention of them in the same room as I am I make a motion to escape.
But now Klaus, Sunny, Violet and Beatrice couldn't think of escaping the Anxious Clown diner and they needed to know precisely why these two villains had come here, as I'm sure you do; even if it means reading another awful chapter to learn more about the man with a beard but no hair and the woman with hair but no beard.
Is disaster for dessert for the poor Baudelaires? Stay tuned for more! :] read and review! please!