VI. Choke

6 to 5 days before Valentine's Day.

.::.

"I love you."

No.

"I adore you."

No.

"You are my life."

No.

"I uh…"

Maybe it wasn't exactly the wisest decision for him to practice his confession in the men's toilets. Especially when the subject of his love seems to be all too familiar with this room, and not to mention the strange looks he earned as agents from other departments walked in on him dedicating his love. To a mirror.

He had probably been dubbed the 'lovesick loner of the men's room', and a fact that he knew very well was that word around this building moves extremely fast; and usually the story gets tweaked, and he had a feeling he might hear a whole lot of crap from McGee and Ziva, which at this point would not be desirable.

He released an anxious breath and splashed his face with warm water, letting his tensed up jaw relax. This was all Abby's fault, why couldn't she just lay off a little and let him figure this out. But no, she had to whip out her freakishly thick book of fantasies and plan it all out for him; even though he'd outlined what he wanted she still managed to get it her way in the end, and it was absolutely useless to argue with Abby.

Then all of a sudden, realization hit him square on in the face, like an elephant shitting all over you. Why it hadn't occurred to him before? He didn't know, but now that it did, he was dedicated. Did Abby need to know he carried out the plan to every specific word?

No. And he wasn't planning to. He was going to do this his way, which consisted of acts on impulse, though sometimes they don't always result with the best outcome he'd hoped for, but that's the way he rolled. That made him a DiNozzo, not a Sciuto.

Finally, feeling a little more content with himself, he gathered his composure and exited the bathroom, where he walked straight into none other than, Gibbs, who now had a stream of spilt coffee down his green polo shirt. Perfect. Tony swallowed the lump in his throat as Gibbs stared at him full on; he was in for some sort of punishment, he knew it. Rule 23, version two. Never mess with Gibbs' coffee.

"How are ya DiNozzo?" Tony furrowed his brows in confusion, Gibbs was supposed to be angry, but he wasn't which definitely meant something was hinky.

"Did an alien eat you boss?" a slap was administered to the back of his head, "good to know that's not the case."

"Word's been goin' around about a madman scaring people in the head, going on and on about his," Gibbs hesitated, and that didn't happen very often, "homosexuality…"

"What?"

"There's been a few variations of that story."

"Well you have nothing to worry about boss, well not me in particular," Tony's eyes mistakenly fell past Gibbs' shoulders onto his partner at her desk, with her hand flipping through her smooth brown hair and then directed back to the screen to smack the thing silly, as usual. Even with such a violent action she still managed to look absolutely beautiful, and she seemed more stunning every single day.

He regretted letting his mind drift off like that, especially in front of Gibbs which was downright suicide, and it must've shown very obviously on his face as the cool blue eyes pierced deeper into his skin.

"Rule 12 DiNozzo," Gibbs walked around him and into the bathroom, "and get me another coffee!"

"Yes boss!"

.::.

"You're googling again," Ziva said nonchalantly, her eyes still focused on her screen as she typed.

"You mean ogling?" his smile grew wider; he adored it when she mixed her idioms up. First she'd look a little angry, which was scary but definitely worth it when followed by her cute expressions where she tries to correct her mistake and then questions the accuracy of each.

"So you are."

"Are what? David?" Gibbs strolled in with a fresh new shirt and coffee.

"Uhh boss, I got you a new coffee on your desk," Gibbs picked it up, tipped the lid open and inhaled the waft of unsweetened coffee.

"Thanks DiNozzo," the empty cup was flanked into the empty bin, "McGee, grab your gear." McGee was out of the bullpen within seconds, and was tailing right behind Gibbs into the elevator.

"So…" Tony broke the awkward silence their boss had just opened up, her eyes flickered from the report in front of her to him, "Valentine's edging closer, huh?"

"Yes it is…" she let the words linger out slowly. He gave himself a mental head slap, when had he become so nervous around women, that he couldn't even formulate a decent conversation?

"Any plans?"

"Not yet."

"You planning on getting plans?"

"That depends on whom with."

"Okay…" his voice quivered and that must've given her the upper hand on the situation; well she seemed to have had it since the conversation had started thanks to his nerves. She rose from her desk and placed the manila folder on Gibbs' desk before stalking slowly over to him.

"Are you trying to say something Tony?" her lips were inches from his ear and an involuntary shudder ran down his spine at the feel of her breath against his skin. He wanted to say the words and his head was screaming for him to say it, but his voice seemed to have different plans as always, and that's what got him into most of his troubles anyways. Though just as he thought he'd say something completely off topic or opposite of his intentions, it came out right. Well, sort of right, it was on the right track anyways.

"Yes," the look on her face told him she was definitely surprised at his response, he wasn't supposed to cave, they weren't supposed to turn this playful manner to the now serious one, "You know I'll always have your six, right?"

"Yes," her voice was soft as she leaned against his desk, "and I trust that you will always have my back."

Her pitch was perfect for him to play back but he couldn't find the words, he practiced everything in the fucking bathroom and all he could say now was nothing. It was such a good opportunity and it ran out right as he gained some sense into his thought. She pushed off of the desk and sauntered back to her side, safe from whatever it was that had been at the brink of playing out.

She had nothing to do until Gibbs came back and for once in her life she wished for paperwork, heck it could've been piles and piles of it and she' be glad. Cause now all she could do was stare at her partner who had just told her something sincerely, without out all the bull and jokes to steer and hide his messages.

And as hard as she tried she couldn't pull herself away from looking in his direction, something about him made her seem to draw towards him, like he had magically secured her in his hands and all she could do was follow.

It was a little awkward, as she had imagined, but then it sort of became sweet-like, it was surprisingly comfortable and when his eyes came up to meet hers once in awhile which was then followed by a quick quirk of the lips, it made it even more soothing. It was something genuine that the two had trouble with ever since they had met, maybe it was the circumstances, the wrong time, for goodness sakes they were enemies and that was the only genuine thing about it, about them, the rest was, as much as she hated to say it, deception.

Had she told herself that five years down the line she'd sit across from the same man, who she had slept with, bonded with, drank with, kissed with, she would never have believed it. Never would she have admitted to herself that she'd come to desperately need him, like her weapons, she just simply wouldn't be herself without them; she just couldn't imagine it.

And it was certainly proving more so now, especially after her little visit to his apartment a few days back, that had opened up a whole new door and now she was stuck in a maze she didn't know how to get out of. Her only way was to follow him, and though she would never show it, she was terrified and his company was enough to make her feel safe.

Then suddenly out of nowhere, in their contented silence he finally worked up the guts to speak and say what he wanted to say, which came at the best time possible.

"Do you wanna grab some dinner after work?" his tone was steady as he played with his hair, pushing it back and forth, side to side.

"Sure," she felt like she'd been released, though the pull from before was still as strong she'd gained back the power of her self control to look away and do something useful, because there was a killer out there and the poor family would definitely not appreciate that the agent working their case was busy ogling her partner.

.::.

Gibbs had finally given them the signal for them to leave for the day and Tony was debating whether he should update Abby on abandoning her plan. He decided not, she wouldn't be too happy and unhappy Abby was not something he wanted to deal with right now, and anyways this could still go very wrong. He turned off his computer and zipped up his bag before swinging it over his shoulder. With a little wink of the eye to confirm that they were still on, he exited the building.

Ziva on the other hand was the last one out of the office, based on two reasons, Gibbs had sent her on an errand which left her behind when she got back and secondly Gibbs couldn't know about their dinner. She frowned at that thought, this was just dinner. They'd done it many times before; there was nothing to hide, right?

.::.

When the elevator finally stopped at the car park she walked out and just as expected his car was still parked right next to hers. She rotated her head to the right to see his tall form against the pillar; he wore a smug grin on his face as he pushed off from the wall and walked towards her.

"Was wondering if you were gonna bail on me," his Italian shoes came to a stop next to her.

"Why would I? I would definitely much prefer to eat dinner with you," he smiled at that, did she deliberately choose those words or was he just overanalyzing them? Either way he was going to show her what it's like to be treated by a DiNozzo.

.::.