Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter... And after writing this, that may be a good thing.
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The children's chapter
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Draco rolled his eyes as he saw The Quibbler's latest heading: Evil zombie tries to eat village librarian. Librarian kills zombie and uses mummified body in Ancient Egypt display.
What will The Quibbler think of next? he thought, shaking his heads. Taking the Daily Prophet from the table, he sat at the dining table and read the paper as he ate his breakfast.
Ginny came in the dining room, kissing her husband. "Good morning, love. Do we have any carrots? I've been craving them since I woke up."
"You only woke up ten minutes ago. You'll have to ask the gardener if he salvaged any carrots from those plot bunnies."
"You mean the zombie plot bunnies that you resurrected?" Ginny replied, glaring.
Draco muttered something under his breath, coughing.
Ginny called for a house elf, only to be told that there were no carrots. Sighing in defeat, she asked for scrambled eggs on toast.
They arrived within minutes, and on seeing the eggs, Ginny ran from the room, her mouth covered.
Draco frowned and followed her, wondering what had made her so sick. "What's made you so sick?" he asked.
Ginny didn't reply, she didn't know either.
A house elf appeared to clean the mess, and handed a vial to Ginny. "House elf 372 thinks that Lady Ginny is pregnant," he said as she took the vial.
"What? That's not possible," Draco scoffed. "Is it?" he asked, seeing his wife's face.
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Three days and two doctor's appointments later...
"How on earth did you get me pregnant with twelve kids?" Ginny yelled at her husband.
"I can re-enact the entire thing, if you want," Draco replied, smirking.
"Screw you! You can give birth to the kids, and then let's see you smirk!" Ginny yelled.
Draco started swelling at a fast pace. In a matter of minutes, he was pregnant, and Ginny was back to her normal size.
"Uh... Gin? Why am I pregnant?"
"Because you annoyed the author in the last chapter, so now you're going to pay for it. I told you not to annoy her," Ginny said, then left with a smirk.
"Author-lady? I didn't mean it!" Draco yelled quickly, his face paling.
Unfortunately, due to the practical impossibility of male pregnancy, the author has decided to forgive Draco and make Ginny pregnant again.
"Hey! I am not carrying around twelve kids! I'm all for having twelve kids; I love big families! But twelve at one time is just getting out of hand! I mean, can you imagine the back pain, stretch marks, and labour time? That's just ridiculous on all counts! At least give me twins to start off with, then I can space the other kids out afterwards!" Ginny yelled.
Draco quickly hushed his wife, looking up at the ceiling. "You shouldn't piss her off. She could just make you pregnant with twenty kids at once, and while I'm all for my baby-making sperm being so efficient, I don't want to be around you when the resulting hormones kick in! Having pregnant hormones with one to three is bad enough, but twenty is just ridiculous."
"Who said anything about twenty kids? I don't love big families that much! Stop giving her ideas, you prat! Or I'll give her the idea to make us have half each," Ginny muttered.
The author got annoyed at their banter quickly, and decided to compromise. Ginny is now pregnant with three children, Draco is not pregnant with any but has the relevant books to know how to deal with a pregnant and hormonally emotional wife, and the author's zombie plot bunnies are still eating carrot brains from her garden.
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End of the third chapter.
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