iHousewarming

Sam stuttered. She was still in shock. This couldn't be happening. This could not be happening.

"What… the…" she stammered. "Carls, what is she doing here?" Sam clearly found the situation unnerving. Before Carly could answer, she was interrupted by an incredibly loud, incredibly raucous sound. It was a sound one would only expect to hear in the Seventh Circle of Hell.

All Sam could do was shrug her shoulders and roll her eyes.

"…And… she brought Frothy! Oh, this is rich!"

At that moment, Sam saw a fuzzy shape wander down the stairs, in search of Melanie. This was definitely not the Frothy she remembered. Completely forgetting any animosity towards her sister, she looked Melanie straight in the eye.

"What happened to the cat?"

Melanie laughed. It was apparent that Frothy had recently seen a trip to the groomers. She picked him up, speaking sweetly, her own little version of baby-talk.

"Well, he had to get himself all prettied up if he was coming to live with Melanie, Carly, and Sam at college, now didn't he?" She cooed at the cat, apparently forgetting his many less-than-clean bills of health from their local vet.

Sam commented as only she could.

"I think I'm gonna flippin' hurl…"

Carly loved her, but she cared for Melanie's feelings as well, albeit differently. It was time to play peacemaker.

"Sam…" She was annoyed. She shot Sam a stern look. Sam tried her best at an apology. It certainly wasn't her strong suit, but Melanie wasn't expecting diplomacy. She took it in the spirit of what it was intended to be.

"Mel, look… I just...honestly…?"

Melanie interrupted her.

"You weren't expecting me, I get it. I just tried my best to fit in and be… you know, one of the girls, one of the group. If you don't want me here, I'll leave, but I just want to…"

Melanie's lower lip quivered. Sam cursed under her breath – at least she tried – her foul mouth much more audible than intended.

"Goddammit… Come here before you get all fuckin' weepy an' shit…"

Sam pulled her sister into a hug. Carly hadn't seen this since their last fight, which had roused her from a perfectly good sleep.

"Look, Mel, stay. I just mean, I thought it was just going to be… you know… me and Carls…"

Melanie, lifting her head from her sister's shoulder, looked at her. Blue eyes met blue eyes.

"You really mean it? You don't want me to leave?"

Sam simply gave her a nod. Her meaning was clear: Drop it. Please.

Melanie smiled. Stepping into the foyer on the main floor, she spoke to both of them, excited.

"Ooh! I have a surprise for you! Eyes closed, both of you!"

Sam couldn't help herself. She felt compelled to pitch a fit. It was hardwired into her DNA.

"Must you always be so damn perky?"

"Sam!" Carly felt more like Sam's babysitter than her girlfriend.

Melanie chuckled to herself.

"Eyes shut, ladies…"

She took her sister by the hand, with Carly, in turn, taking Sam's. Melanie Puckett felt like she was leading the other two girls, single file, down the Yellow Brick Road to the land of Oz.

"Okay, now no peeking… You'll ruin the surprise…"

Surprise? This had to be good. Whatever Melanie had done for them must be good if it warranted this kind of treatment. She led Sam and Carly, eyes shut, through the first floor of the house, whining like children.

"Can we look now?" Carly asked politely.

"No…"

"This is stupid… What about now?"

"No, Samantha…"

Taking a left down the hall directly off the living room, Melanie guided both girls into what would otherwise be a second bedroom. With a little help, she had taken to, well, a little light redecorating.

Barely able to contain her own excitement, Melanie gave Sam's hand a little squeeze.

"Okay, okay, okay… Surprise!"

Sam and Carly were both stunned. What Melanie had done was nothing short of miraculous. She had managed – God knows how – to recreate the iCarly studio here – or at least a reasonable facsimile thereof. Everything that they needed was here.

"How in the he—…" Sam's voice trailed off, stunned. Carly fussed at her.

"Samantha! Language!"

"Yes, Dear…" Sam whined.

It took Carly a minute to process everything. How Melanie could manage all of this was beyond her. The more important question was simply why. Why would she go through all of this trouble?

"Mel… Why?"

Melanie giggled, hands on her hips, as though this were the silliest question she'd heard in all the world.

"Why, because iCarly is important to you, and you are important to Sam… besides, what sense would it make to go back and forth to Bushwell Plaza every week?"

Carly thought for a second. She conceded that she had a point. She had a point, but dammit, this was way too much.

"Mel, you've gone above and beyond the call of duty here. Sweety, you really shouldn't have. It must have been a hell of a lot of work, especially considering…"

Melanie cut Carly off. She tried her best to sound forceful and abrupt, like her sister. It clearly didn't work.

"Considering what? That I'm just a fragile little girl? Oh well, Mercy me, Carly Shay, whatever is a woman to do?"

Those years at a fancy boarding school out East had certainly given Melanie Puckett a convincing Southern Belle sound, when she wanted to use it.

Carly couldn't help but laugh. Sam, always searching for the last word, to a jab at her sister, but it was obviously all in good fun.

"Oh my God… You're a disgrace! How dare you call yourself a Puckett? You're a goddamn creampuff!"

Melanie knew Sam was playing. She took a chance.

"Well, you're a fruit, so I suppose we go well together, don't we?" she chuckled.

There was a pause. Carly felt like it went on a little too long. She knew Melanie was playing around – that she meant no offense – but would Sam take it in the spirit she intended?

After what seemed to Carly like an eternity, she saw Sam's back stiffen up. This couldn't be a good sign. Sam reached behind her, as though something was bothering her.

"Ooh, original… Touché. Care for your knife back, Sister Dear? Nicely played. You really are a Puckett after all."

Sam threw her arm around her sister's shoulders, more like a teammate after a big game than a sister. This wasn't about respect. This was about sincere appreciation.

"You know what, Kid? Even though you're all Sorority Rush Barbie an' shit… You're all right. We might be able to make a real Puckett out of you yet."

Carly couldn't believe her ears. Sam had actually given Melanie what, to her anyway, would qualify as a compliment.

"Aww… My little Ham Lover is growing up…" she thought.

The girls' first night away from home was already shaping up to be eventful.