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Please enjoy this short chapter. Next update will come soon. I know that is going by a bit slow but IT WILL get better. I pwomise!

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Renesmee's P.O.V

I watched him haul her up in his broad arms. He leaned in and whispered some words into her ears as she giggled. The wary smile he had on his face was enough for me.

Just enough.

I ran.

I ran fast, hoping that I could leave this unfamiliar pain spiraling behind me. As the wind whipped against my face, there was no such luck. Nothing was fading. Only growing more and more wrapping itself around my beating heart.

Why.......why..?

I may be young and naive in the aspect of love simply because I've never had a boyfriend or even a first kiss. But I knew everything about lust. Jacob himself had tried to give me the talk when I was old enough. He covered everything that my grandfather Carlisle hadnt.

I hadnt even been emberassed. My heart started to beat harder as the memory took over.

-flashback-

We were sitting in his room listening to Josh Ricker when he pulled out a condom and waved it around in my face.

"Ness I think we should.." he started before I cut him off.

"Jacob Black I know what that is!" I said throwing a pillow at his face. I couldn't believe how random this was.

He quickly dodged it and I murmured something around the lines of "stupid werewolf reflexes" as it fell to the floor.

He gaped at me and started looking deep into my eyes, searching for something

"You've never had to...use one...have you?" He asked, uncertain and wary. His face was full of worry..and anger.

"Of course not Jacob!" I told him exasperated. I couldn't believe he thought I had tried reproducing with someone! I didnt want any kids yet! I barely had just started growing boobs and hips!

"Ness...you do er...know what sex..is, right?"

"Yeah, I do. At least how you...do it. And what body parts it...involves. And....kids."

"And...er....what feelings it involves and stuff....right?" He asked me.

"Feelings....?"

"Yes feelings, Ness. As in 'Lust' and 'love' " he told me.

"I understand the concept love and mating. But....lust? I'm afraid I don't understand..."

I heard him sigh when I was done. I started to become uneasy.

Maybe this topic wasn't as simple as I thought.

"People can have sex....trying not to mate Ness" His voice was dull.

"I know. Thats what the condom is for. But why would they want to have sex then?" I asked. My words all came out innocent and untainted.

Jacob continued to gaze into my eyes. The look on his face let me know that he was almost waiting for me to say something else. When nothing came he finally started explaining.

"Sweetie people.....there is immense pleasure in the act of sex. Pleasure that you can only feel when your connected to someone that intimately." His gaze seem to wonder off and his eyes looked like they were in a far away place. I wondered if she was imagining the act himself.

"Sometimes it feels better when you have sexual intercourse with someone you love. It's unforgettable....unimaginable and----"

I quickly cut him off.

"Have you ever....had sex..Jake?" I asked. My voice was soft as a whisper. Deep down I knew that I really didn't know what to expect.

I saw him look at me with a guilty and uncertain expression.

That was all I needed to know he had. But apparently he didn't want me to know.

"What does it matter Ness. Sex for me is---"

I cut him off again.

"So you have, havent you?"

"Renesmee, look my sex life is not something I should talk to you about. At least not yet."

At his words my heart only sunk. I really didn't know why. Shouldn't I be happy for my best friend at finding someone to give him this so called "pleasure". But I couldn't help but be bothered that he wouldn't tell me straight up forward. Wasn't I his best friend?!

"yes or no, Jake?!"

I glared at him, obviously awaiting an answer. I didn't move nor fidget, trying to keep the tension between us. I knew that I could make him break down if I wanted to. Under my heavy stare he quickly looked away and got up from the bed. Strangely he started to pace around, which was very un-Jake like.

"Ugh. You have! Why don't you just tell me!?" I asked, feeling almost hurt that Jake wouldn't share his intimate secrets with me. I was old enough after all. I was his Nessie. He could tell me anything! It's not like I cared...!

"It's not like I care....or anything Jacob." I said as I got up and headed to where he stood by the window.

I heard him mumble something under his breath that wasn't meant for me to hear. But I was 1/2 a vampire. I caught onto it whether I wanted to or not.

"I wish you did..." he whispered.

But the windows flew out through the window before I could register them

-End of flash back-

Pleasure.

And seeing Jacob, my Jacob, carry Patty into his house was all I needed to put the two things together.

Jacob was going to sleep with her.

Sex.

Pleasure.

Something I have yet to experience.

Unfortunately I've had to hear my mother and father going at it numerous times. I cringed between the growing pain at the disturbing memory.

Well at least they weren't like My Aunt Rosalie or Uncle Emmet. If I didn't know that they were vampires, I'd think they were rabbits. Rabbits in the spring time.

I thanked myself for not bringing my car. I don't think I could handle driving with my current condition.

Every now and then my vision would cloud up and I'd accidentally nudge a tree in my way. Pieces of wood were sent flying in different directions behind me. I could feel the anger and hurt radiate around me. I also couldn't help but feel my stomach twist and turn in an unfamiliar way

I still wished I understood.

Why was I always being pulled to Jacob. Why hadn't it been like this before? He has always been my brother figure.

My stomach swirled once again at the memory of always having him around. Of always being able to feel his warm skin near me. Of always knowing he was there.

Jacob has been the families most trusted friend. And here I was ruining all of that because I....I......I....

And then it hit me.

God!...I wanted HIM!

My stomach lurched at the thought.

I was feeling this way because suddenly I wanted to be Patty! Fake Patty who was going to pleasure my Jacob tonight.

My Jacob. Does that even make him mine? How has he been mine if technically he is only my best friend?

Could I even call it that?

Oh Jacob, come to me...

Friends tell each other everything.

Once upon a time I could tell Jacob just about anything. But I was ruining that too. Suddenly my fast growing hormones were driving me off the roof cause I was falling for my huge mutant werewolf of a best friend.

This is not what I wanted.

This was not what I needed.

Rain started to pelt down on me, letting me know I was back in Towson. The rain seemed to compliment the melancholy emotions that were brewing inside me. I could hear the rain fall down in far away drains, swirling down into unknown pipes and into the ocean. My feelings started to feel that way too. Swirling and falling down inside me, leaving me more lost then ever.

---

I didnt want to go home. But where else would I go? I was always either at Jake's or at the Park with him. In the end it didn't even matter. I just needed shelter. I needed reassurance. I needed my room at home.

So I raced towards the large white house.

Along the way I only prayed that some miracle from God would happen and the house would be empty. Empty so that I could lay down and try to think these things through.

I just didnt understand. I had never felt pain like this. Or...rejection.

No such luck.

Everyone was waiting for me. I could hear them from the drive way clattering things in the kitchen.

Vampires in the kitchen. What a joke....

I knew I couldn't pass my family so I started to put up a front. I tried to get myself together fast enough before they could question me.

They all looked at me as soon as I walked in through the door.

They all took one glanced at me and quickly raced over to my side. My father was the first one to reach me. His golden eyes locked on my face trying to read my thoughts. From behind I could see Jasper cringing at the emotions he felt coming from.

"Renesmee...." My father whispered as he began to rake through my head and thoughts.

My head only infested with Jacob.

I almost broke down right then and there. The panic started to flow through out my body. I didn't need to break down here in front of everyone.

"Mom please! Mom please shieled me!" I begged her. My voice came out high and unpitched. It scared even me hearing how broken it sounded.

I hadnt seen my mother yet, but I knew she was somewhere in the kitchen too.

I needed her to shield me. I needed her to block me from everyone else. I needed to do this alone. I wanted to do this.....alone.

"Give her space, Edward" My mother called out to my father who was looking at me crazed.

He didnt move and inch away. He still continued to try and read my thoughts.

Jacob...

My fathers eyes turned menacing and cold at that part. I almost stumbled back realizing what I was giving away.

But then suddenly the promising shield was being wrapped around me. It enveloped me into safety and I let out a breath I didnt know I was holding.

"He did something didnt he, Nessie?" He asked me. His voice was anxious and marble hard.

"No dad why would you think--"

"Because your crying!! Why else! And I caught him in your thoughts. Whatever it is I'm going to kill him!"

I was not crying..!

I reached out and traced my fingers over my cheeks. And there I could feel moist droplets slip between my fingers.

I was crying....

I was falling apart....over a boy. A freaking boy.

I bolted.

I bolted out the room so fast and headed to my room.

Of course I instantly heard numerous footsteps follow me. But I could hear my mothers "motherly" voice order them to let me be. Off the back they all began to argue otherwise but my mother wouldn't let them have it. I thanked God for her. I really did need to be alone.

I slammed my bedroom door shut and literally fell onto the floor beneathe me. I closed my eyes and wished that I understood what was going on.

I didnt know what it was like to "fall" for someone.

I let tears flow freely trying to let go some of the weight on my chest. I didn't realise I was sobbing until I found myself choking for breath. I was so wrapped into myself that I almost didn't hear my father speaking to my mother as she made her way over to the phone.

And before I knew it I could hear the phone ringing.

She was calling Jake.

I wonder if she knew what she was about to interrupt him doing.

"Not this again Bella. Not to my daughter" My told her with a voice that could make a humans skin crawl.

"Edward you don't understand. She...misses him. You know that its inevitable with them" she said, defending me.

"No, Bella. You don't understand. He has her...crying! First you. And now my daughter?! That's enough."

I felt bad that...

Wait! first her?!!!! What the hell does that mean?!

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Oh and just in case you guys are wondering. I DID change my name from 7serene7 to 7mellifluous7. Just in case ;)